Put Yourself First


Why putting yourself first is the best choice for everyone.

We all experience moments when we feel torn between doing what we desire, and doing what we think is in the best interest of another. Sometimes we forget that those that love us also want what is best for us, and the best thing we can do is set the tone by making self-care a priority. Here’s what I mean…

I found myself in an interesting position this morning. I planned on taking a yoga class this morning, which I love and feel is an important component of my self-care on all levels. But last night my boyfriend and I got into an intense discussion, which left me feeling worried for him, wanting to care for him and make it all better. When I woke-up I found myself torn between my desire to go to class, and a thought that I should stay in bed and make sure he felt cared for.

It’s not as though an extra-long cuddle was in any way unappealing to me, yet I projected my mind a couple hours ahead, and could feel a nagging sense of disappointment that I didn’t stick to my plan to go to class. And not because I wanted to adhere to the plan, but because I could feel how badly my body wanted a led yoga session. Yet I still felt torn…and guilty.

Thankfully, I have the support of beautiful sisters around me, and we recently had a discussion centered around our self-care rituals. We all luxuriated in sharing what we do to make ourselves feel loved and cared for, so I had that conversation at the forefront of my mind, and a feeling of their supportive energy wrapped around me.

I made the choice to go to yoga with some important truths in my heart. First of all, that my body was calling for the practice, and I would be far more useful with that desire satisfied than if I tried to squash it. Secondly, that my boyfriend loves when I take care of myself, and loves when I’m happy, so the best way to lift his spirits in that moment was to care for my own spirit. And finally, that it was fine for me to feel torn, because it gave me the opportunity to explore that discomfort and listen to my body’s needs. 

I’m so glad I did because, of course, after class I felt great. I felt centered and positive, and no longer steeped in worry. I took time after class to grab a snack and a coffee at a favorite nearby cafe, and enjoyed the delicious flavors fully. When I got home, my boyfriend was so taken with my glowing positive energy that we went back to bed and had that “extra-long cuddle” after all!

The whole experience was such beautiful reinforcement that listening closely to my body’s needs and desires leads me to the best possible outcomes, for myself and for everyone I love and care for. Rather than feeling any regrets about missing class, thinking I was responsible for someone else’s wellbeing, I took care of myself and we both ended up feeling amazing!

We are all responsible for our own energy and what we bring to the table. Take care of yourself, everyone will thank you for it.

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