It is with a sad heart today that I write this blog. My brother, Gotham, and my father, Deepak, have both written beautiful articles remembering our friend, Michael Jackson. I debated writing something or not, and in the end decided to write for my own healing process.
My brother and I had a magical childhood, and much of this was because of Michael. For us, Michael let us visit Neverland like it was our own – from movies to playing video games to bumper car rides to playing with the chimps to eating amazing chocolate chip cookies, we were able to take our cousins and friends to this magical place and just have pure fun. Eating meals with Michael in those days – almost 20 years ago now – was always an experience. He would start humming a tune and then excuse himself. When he came back, he would giggle with delight, explaining how music just came to him and he had to record it to save what came, he always said, came from some place else. Every moment we were with Michael, I would be utterly comfortable and utterly in awe at the same time.
My relationship with Michael was very different from that of my father and brothers. Michael and I shared an absolute love for children, and his heart cried about the pain children around the world faced. One day, while chatting with him about his upcoming Super Bowl performance, Michael was brainstorming how he could use the worldwide exposure for a greater cause, and the Heal The World Foundation was born. My first job, after graduating from college, was to launch the foundation with a small team. I was so proud of the work we did in that short time, only to find that our good intentions came to a halt when Michael was accused the first time of child molestation. Over night, understandably so, non-profits backed away from our efforts and we quietly closed shop. My family always maintained our belief that Michael was innocent in both cases – for those that were close to Michael, all would admit he was quirky and had bad judgment at times. But to think Michael could abuse a child was unfathomable in my mind.
Over the last decade, my relationship with Michael continued to be focused on kids, but now our own. (We remained connected through my best friend, Grace, who served as their nanny for many years.) It was amazing for me to witness in those early years how enamored Michael was with his children. He changed their diapers through the night, sang and played with them, rocked them to sleep, bathed them and had to change his own outfits when they threw up on him – the same routine that all parents know and love. In the few times we spoke, he would always reflect on the miracle of being a parent. He also protected them in a way that reflected his own lost childhood, and his paranoia about being taken advantage of. Paris, Prince and Blanket are three beautiful children. With Michael gone, I truly pray that they will find some peace and be spared the heart wrenching pain that their father faced time and time again in his life.
I write this blog in London after having a very surreal encounter with the kind of people that Michael was always paranoid about. I will spare the details, but in those few hours, where I felt my kids were in a vulnerable situation, I had just the tiniest insight into why Michael became so paranoid in his life. So sad that such a trusting soul had to become so distrustful. Because truly he was a loving, trusting soul.
Here in London, like in much of the world, every television channel paid tribute to Michael Jackson. As I watched some clips with my two young daughters (7 and 5), I found I had so much to explain to them. Why did he have white skin (he had a skin disease)? Why did he look so different from when he was a kid? (A fascinating discussion about plastic surgery followed). Why did he look so weird? Why did he hide all the time? What’s going to happen to Prince, Paris and Blanket? I patiently answered their questions, focusing on being a mom that needs to help her children understand a confusing world. The reality is that Michael’s life and story brings up painful questions about how we see the world, see ourselves and treat others.
And, as we were watching, the Heal the World video came on. And finally after holding back all morning, my tears streamed down freely, as my two daughters held me. Hearing that song, in which Micheal sang about healing the world…
Michael truly had a gift to heal – his music and his sweet soul touched billions – and for that, I hope he will be remembered.
Thank you for sharing these memories with us, Mallika. So many of us, even though we didn't know Michael personally, feel as though we grew up with him. His songs are a part of our culture, a huge part of our lives. Michael will live on through his music.
Lissa Coffey
Lifestyle and Relationship Expert
Author: "What's Your Dosha, Baby? Discover the Vedic Way for Compatibility in Life and Love"
http://www.coffeytalk.com http://www.whatsyourdosha.com
Beautiful words!
Thank you so much for sharing your memories of times with Michael.
I hope that he will be remembered for his gifts as well. In some way I believe that we've all been touched by his life. I'm grateful.
My heart goes out to you, your family, Michael's family, and all those who are grieving a loss.
May the blessings be
~Pam
thanx a lot for sharing, the woman side of this story was needed!.
Beautiful words you say and make them penetrate my mind, as I say in the other two posts of your family, I didnt even knew Michael was part of your lives, but knowing that now seems to clarify some feelings about Michael.
Thanks again. R.I.P.
What kind words, Mallika. It just goes to show that if you're ever on the fence about putting your thoughts down on "paper"…it is always best to go with your instinct. Thank you for sharing from your point of view
Thanks for sharing your story. It is nice to hear from friends of Michael who had no ill intentions and need no publicity for their words. I appreciate your families blogs today.
I always knew Michael to be an innocent as well. He shared a fantastic 50 with us and he is now creating beautiful music on the other side!
With Love,
Renay
Wow. It was amazing to read this sharing from someone who knew him personally. Thank you.
Love,
Brigit
Thank You.
I have always tried to avoid hear the media take on Michael.
It is so reassuring to hear from someone that knew him how perfect he was and his music always will be.
Much love.
Dave Allen
Sechelt British Columbia
Thank you for sharing your experience with us on Michael Jackson. You seem to be a very positive person, and your children and family are blessed to have you. I like that you watched some of the news stories with your children, and answer the questions to help them understand. That's a great mother! I hope when this is all over that Michael's children remain with the Jackson family, who they have always been raised with and not a stranger. Keep writing.
Dear Mallika,
My deepest condolences to you and all that Mourn.
Thank you so much for sharing your feelings and your time with Michael Jackson. My daughter was a teen in the 80s and we used to listen to Michael together.
His music will live forever. This is so sad.
Dear Mallika,
My heart goes out to you. To experience first hand being Around Michael Jackson would of been amazing. You come from a Unique perspective to
of spent time with him as a child. We tend to believe what the media tells us night, after night. I'm about the same age as Michael. I'm 49, Michael gave us incredible music, an was so talented. He'll be missed by many. It's sad for one to be gone to receive such outpouring of support.
We all need to be shown affection "in the present term"! May you find comfort in your children. God does have a plan for all of us. Michael is in heaven now, resting in peace.
God bless you,
Kevin Keath
Dear Mallika: Thank you for sharing your beautiful memories of Michael Jackson with us.
Thank you for writing your experiences with Michael Jackson and his children. I am very sorry that you, and your family have lost a treasured friend. May you be comforted with the light of Spirit and the Dove of peace! Blessings to you and your family, Elanalee
Mallika,
I am deeply sorrowful for your loss.
Thee valley that I grew up in (Santa Ynez) has really missed Michael's presents there.
Having volunteered more than a dozen times as an EMT at Neverland Ranch. I have missed the true giving nature that MJ had in using his Ranch for Special needs kids and kids from all over the world. There is a hole in the heart of the world that may never be replaced.
Jeff Parker
><((((
Hi Mallika
I'm sorry for your loss and thank you for this post.
Love
Ru-an
Thank you for this post. I love your blog and books.
What beautiful, wonderful memories of spending time with Michael.
His gentle soul was apparent in all that he did.
You were truly blessed to have had those times together,and he was also truly blessed to have evperienced you and your family in his life.
Namaste,
Debra
How awesome it must have been to know him personally! Being and artist I felt connected to Michael and had a passion for his music and priceless angelic personality! Watching your father Deepak on CNN was very insightful and a relief when he spoke truths about the inappropriate use of prescribed medicines dispersed by the medical community. Michael could be here with us now and that is heartbreaking.Our talent in America needs more support and inspiration-not to be torn down the way Michael was.Love, light and blessings, Deb
Thank you for sharing Mallika, i'm so sorry for your loss…..my prayers, my heart andMichael's spirit comfort you in this difficult time. Take care Sister!
"core of man's spirit comes from new experiences"
Thank you for your compassionate post. He was a man who loved so much! The world is mourning. I only hope that others stop judgement and appreciate him for the all the good he did in the world.
Dearest Mallika, may your heart be healed as soon as possible. Sending you all my love.
Dear Mallika,
Truly, in all the media madness, somehow, hearing from you, your brother and your father has given me a sense of peace and perspective into this magnificent and mysterious engima of a man.
I am sure it was very hard to share your pain publicly, but we are grateful.
Thanks
Kari
Upon hearing of michael's death,I kept surfing the net in shock,trying to look for answers,tryin so hard to believe it to be a hoax….I suddenly came upon yr blog….and Felt so touched at yr words,yr personal view point,yr truly blessed encounters with a man that was so admired yet so misunderstood!!
You and yr family were so lucky to see 'the real michael'.
I have his music.the incredible memories of our teen yrs obsessed with thriller,billie jean…u name it……it feels like something so precious is gone…..but reading yr words on this hot day,alone in a foreign country[seoul I feel a little peace.
god bless
LIVANI
dear mallika,
thanks for this beautiful tribute to a wonderful musician and human being.
Wish you love, peace and happiness.
Trisha
Beautiful. Thank you for sharing your experience and healing us in the process. I am in London and would love to interview your about all those beautiful aspects for Youtube and video we can post here too. Hope you will accept. You can reach me on lilou.mace@gmail.com.
Much love. I send you lots of healing light.
Lilou
I first want to say that Intent is a wonderful concept and an example of how people can change the world one person and one deed at a time. Thank you also for choosing to share with so many when you are also aware of what this sometimes entails, how intrusive others can be.
Through your family's friendship with MJ the world can see him as a person, real and true, not some enigma/thing/product. It will make a difference.
My sincere condolences for your family's loss
Much love,
Toni
Dearest Mallika, Your words, your voice and your tears give strength to help the healing for MJ’s children, Grace and all his loved ones, in honor of his memory. Light surrounds you. love, Rebekah
Thank you all for sharing your intent. What I would like to see is indepth work in the field of "image" formation. A consistent issue in those who are abused is "self acceptance": most particularly that which deals with physical self image. You would be astounded by the number of people who have physically self destructive behavior as a result of low self esteem caused by physical/emotional and psychological abuse. The underlying, but neglected message of Michael's life is learning to accept your physical qualities and awareness of conscious choice to change your physicality. I think Michael felt "compelled" to change himself because each time he looked into the mirror he saw something ugly; I think "Thriller" was a video trying to express some of these feelings. I'm concerned about the number of people (young and older) who have such self hatred for their bodies and or who judge themself by a standard set by the Media. I would like to hear others comment on this. Thank you for this website.
Dearest Mallika, you, your father and your brother have called us into the ONE time and again, but with Michael's passing and your connection, you have connected us all.
You have exemplified my personal metaphor for our oneness, which is a ball of mercury, when dropped (like the times I've broken a thermometer) and it separates into multiple balls of equal composite. When touching parts of itself, it is once again unified into the ONE.
Bless you, bless your family, bless us, And Bless Michael
We are ONE
Starshine
Dear Mallika, it is always hard to lose a friend, especially in sudden unexpected circumstances. Thank you for taking time out of your busy travelling with your children to write this blog. Michael touched so many lives, literally all round the globe. His soul will live on in his music. Gone but not forgotten.
Michael Jackson was certainly a very gifted and talented individual. I saw today a few You Tube clips of his early years and was so impressed by his beautiful presence, his talent and sweetness, something I would like to call pranic energy, pure life energy, quite sattvic – AND of course, as already said, his incredible talent.
On the other hand we are all moved with compassion about all the unfortunate circumstances of his life. You and your father and brother mentioned how lonely he was in his life and in certain ways also inhibited (paranoid in some regards e.g.). It made me think: We all know this – how there can be walls and limitations not only caused by outside conditions and circumstances, but also present within us which are difficult to overcome, to put aside sometimes. beautiful presence in them, vitality and sweetness. He exhibited what has been called pranic energy – pure life, and incredible talent! Just so beautiful!
I think Michael's passing on gives us all the opportunity to acknowledge this as a common experience we all share every now and again ourselves- that we are blocked – not only from outside, also from inside ourselves at times – and to allow us to feel compassion for everyone who is in such a situation right now and for us ourselves as well, particularly when we happen to be in such a situation. It can be quite a healing and releasing experience to allow that to be felt I think.
Reading the different comments to each of your family's blog and stumbling again upon the mentioning of this child molestation charge in some comment (although ever so cautiously formulated) I was pondering about the accusation in my mind. I have been assuming that the enormous media activity was all playing this up and thinking about how nasty all this has been. I hope there is nothing about it. No one of us I think would want to trivialize child molesting as a peccadillo if it were really the case or try to whitewash it. We know it would need therapy and healing and we wouldn't want any child to experience sexual harassment.
As I said I have the feeling this was all made up by the aggressive media attention and his being a superstar and the relentless exploitation of his violability in terms of reputation etc.
On the other hand – although I am strongly objecting to child molestation – the permanent media decrial gives us the chance to even deal with this reproach in a considerate manner,
not discrediting the whole man, but just seeing and sensing that healing would be necessary to dissolve this unfortunate tendency. Again, I don't apply this to MJ right now.
But stress, impossible behavior, damaging behavior is actually foreign to the real individual – it is an unfortunate addition, an unnatural state – something that is not fitting, not wanted, not actually belonging even to the real man inside. On the other, it is important also to acknowledge that healing and removing such an unfortunate tendency or habit, addiction even, is definietly required and might demand quite some time and should be dealt with methods which work and help to clear out such a tendency physiologically, as well as psychologically and in other respects once and for all, help remedy the situation, heal this deviated situation. I think of methods like Ayurveda and the purification methods it offers, meditation, conversational therapy, Yoga, good nutritive food, good life habits, education etc. -any such method which helps to establish wholeness and good health effectively and works on a level dep enough to get rid of functional holes in our nervous system, gaps in the wholeness we are meant to be and to live and express.
I only wanted to think this through since it was weighing on my mind.
Love and best regards to all!
In honor of his spirit, as I believe the universe truly wastes nothing, A candle with his familiies and friends name will be placed where the ocean meets the sky in Hawaii. The Na Lei Aloha candle, ferry the comfort of the spirit to a shore of peace. What many are not aware is that after the memorial, wounded Veterans with PTSD , and all that comes with a compressed mind then retrieve the sailed candles and restore them quiely to the orginial beauty as a way to help these men and women find inner peace. So in this small movement of ten years, wellness and soul-healing is found in many dimensions. I thought you would want to know of this small measure across the world from you. in the UK, Aloha^Mahalo,
VR+ jim googolmath.
Hi Mallika, It was a great shock to hear of Michael Jackson's passing I was in the Rocky Mt. National Park about 10,000 feet and my cell phone rang with the news. I cried!
May he be at PEACE….
Loving,
Ed
Like I wrote in my latest intent post, I pray that the next entertainment superstar will be able to bring as much joy to himself as he does to others.
I don't understand why if Deepak knew so much about Michael, and all of Michael's drug interactions, that Deepak did absolutely nothing to help. Is that a true friend?
If nothing else, he could have spent time telling the press and public what Michael's problems were before they led to his death. As it is, it seems he did nothing. And now that Michael is dead, and all the cameras are on, did Deepak mention anything about these problems in the past, while whoring about that he was a "brother" to Michael. No sir, you were no brother … you were just another enabler, and one seeking the camera, just like those others you've accused of pushing the drugs. No, you didn't push the drugs, but you knew about and did absolutely nothing about it. That's even worse.
And stop stealing your philosophy from Castaneda … "intent" indeed, along with all your other philosophical insights — all stolen.
Jeff
Thank you for this personal recollection. I believe that Michael Jackson was the greatest all around artist that the world has ever known in any time in history. What he did for humanity – bringing us joy and bringing us together decade after decade after decade after decade after decade – is nothing short of a divine act.
We are all fortunate to have been alive at the same time he was. You got to see the human side of a virtual deity. Your remembrance of his humanity allows me to realize that the divine spark that was a solar flare in Michael exists in us all. Remembering that he is human helps me remember that the rest of us are divine, too. Michael always saw this in us. Everything he did was to spur us on to share this ecstatic truth that he lived in. Again, thanks.
Mallika,
I cannot express to you my complete and utter heartache after learning of Michael's passing. I send my most heartfelt condolences to you, your family, along with the Jackson family for the loss of this pure musical legend, but more importantly, your friend. I grew up with so many adversities, so much heartache, and most often times felt like I was the loneliest soul in the world. Michael Jackson's music would keep me from falling into the pits of despair, and I remember as a child listening to his tapes so often, that I would wear them out until they no longer would play. My world would change the day that I first heard "Man in the Mirror." I knew from right then that I wanted to make a difference in the world too… somehow, some way. I was so impacted by this song & by the "Do Good" ways of Michael's nature; that it was realized in my early teens that my depression had faded away. There was NEVER one doubt in my mind that Michael could have or would have EVER had the desire to hurt a child in any circumstance, therefore, my family & I supported, prayed, and rejoiced for the truth to prevail in his two cases. As God would have it… Michael was not charged with any wrong doing. I did not know Michael personally, but I feel as though I did just from all of the years that Michael's music helped me to persevere through so many heart wrenching adversities. It is with the saddest heart that I write this thank you Mallika for sharing your wonderful memories with al of us who truly LOVED, CARED, and believed in Michael Jackson. It has been hard getting out of bed since Michael's passing. How could someone I did not know affect me so wholeheartedly? Why does it hurt so bad? I eventually picked myself up out of bed around 3pm this afternoon, turned on my stereo, put my CD in, cried, shouted, and sang to the words…"I wanna make a change…for once in my life…" Man in the Mirror…Michael Jackson will FOREVER live on in our hearts forever. His music, his legacy, & the memories we created for ourselves through his music will never be forgotten. May Michael Jackson FINALLY rest in peace. He will NO longer have to face judgement, paranoia, nor will he be ridiculed ever AGAIN. I just pray for the strength of his three beautiful babies that he left behind. I hope and pray that they will be comforted through this painful time in their young lives. Mallika, again, thank you. Many blessings to the Chopra family and to the Jackson Family.
With utmost respect,
Nicole M. Lucero
Fresno, California
Mallika,
It is wonderful that Michael has such wonderful friends to be advocates at this time when he needs it most. Your words are beautiful, full of love, and a true reflection of the word "friend."
Hello from London. Thank you for sharing this. I too agree that 'Michael's life and story bring up painful questions about how we see the world, see ourselves and treat others'. I hope that the imprint he left on our hearts will help us to be the change he wanted in the world.
I saw him as a healer, a wounded healer perhaps, and I always believed he was just 'pure innocence' and trusting like a child. It's a shame so many people can't believe that some of us just want to give love in its purest form!
I relate to him on so many levels (may have something to do with sharing his birthday: 29th Aug), and was so moved by him I finally wrote my first 'tweet' today. I wanted to speak up about his message of love and kindness. He lived from the heart and soul, and I take great inspiration from him.
I do hope his 'Heal the World Foundation' can find support and grow now in the way MJ envisioned.
I appreciate all you and your family are doing to spead some love and light, and share some important insights and truth in the world.
Best wishes,
Myfanwy Marshall
http://twitwall.com/view/?what=010E02080A
Mallika, Your words are a very touching tribute to MJ. So are your family's words of empathy for him.
Despite all the talents we are very human and I hope this fact wasn't overlooked this fact in the midst of all the euphoria.
Even in sadness, May we celebrate all we have.
Dear Mallika,
I would like to express my deepest condolences to the loss of Michael and to thank you for sharing your memories of him with us. Eventhough I may not know him in person, I had always sense that he was a man with a good heart who love his kids greatly. I agree with you that Michael's life and story do highlight "painful questions about how we see the world, see ourselves and treat others."
I pray that he is at peace now and I know that he will always be in my heart.
With love,
Nurafidah
Dear Mallika,
I've always heard that the best way to heal is to help someone else heal. In your healing process, thank you for helping me heal. May we all remember the good that Michael did for the world.
Thank you for sharing these special memories Mallika. Love Light and Rainbows surround you and your family.
Namste
Loraine
Thank you Mallika – it was so wonderful to hear you sharing your personal dealings with him. Michael did have a gift of healing, not just his music but through his soul.
chiropam.com
Your words are so comforting. I grew up listening to Michael's music and I became fasinated with the way he lived his life. I wanted to go to Neverland and do all of the things you did. I loved his thoughts on how adults should behave i.e you don't have to be serious and always be "adult" about things. You can act silly, run and sing and dance. As i approached my twenties jobs, marriage and children made me lose sight of how I wanted to be as an adult with all the serious issues that we can worry about. Recently I booked four tickets for my family to see Michael. It was a difficult decision as my husband is a struggling musician and money can be tight. I started to watch all the videos and appearances of michael on various websites. I remembered all the things I loved about him. All the things you have captured in a couple of paragraphs above. I felt excited and my children could not wait to see him.
Last thursday was truely devastating. I feel so lost and I also feel that I will struggle to come to terms with the fact that I will never meet him in person. I always believed I would. I would often tell colleagues (much to their disbelief) that I would meet him one day. I would have loved to have chatted to him about music and how to change things in the world. Mallika your loss must be unimaginable and your words are a perfect tribute to the man we all loved. I hope his children are coping and they have the childhood that he wanted them to have. With love Mallika. I am really pleased I found this website.
Deborah
Mallika, thank you so much for sharing this.
Mallika, you can't imagine how much I needed to read this kind of stories about Michael, I've read your post, also your father's and brother's, many times…
Of course I've never met Michael, my connection with him is just through his wonderful music. I "met" him, on my early teen years, when his music was massively known in my country, Argentina. So I can say that I grew up listening him.
I don't know why, but for some reason, I feel so much painful since I knew the bad news a week ago… I can't stop crying… why? Maybe is for his wonderful soul that touched many hearts around the globe.
I can imagine how painful for his loved ones this can be… So, my thoughts and prayers are with you, with your wonderful family that is obviously loved him so much, and had the wonderful oportunity of been their truly friends. And of course with his children and relatives who are suffering this terrible loss.
He left this world too soon, I'm sure he still had so much talent to gave to us. We are just missing him so much.
I'm really glad to have found this site… Seems it came to my life when I really needed it.
Flavia
Thank you for posting Malika. AS a Michael fan, it is beatiful to read such insightful blogs.
Love,
Lina
I want to say frankly Malika, if you truly loved him as you claim then why your brother's comments that he was torn. If you are confident you should stand by him. How in the world could Micheal be in your house for a week why didn't your dad and others try some help. Why the hell just say no to the medicine and let him leave. You guys should have done more to save him. If he called 3 weeks later to say sorry if he gave you the tapes to his London concert before everyone else could see and if he called your 2 dad two days before he died, he was trying to get closer to you. I am angry at your dad for not trying to help him more. Tough love he needed. If you really loved him you would have done something Mallika. I am sorry but I am angry and ashamed to call yall Indians or true Hindus that really care. It was because of Micheal you guys got the contacts with the high celebrities in the first place, what a way to say thank you to him. Sickening.