Routines: A Secret of Happiness

Routines are human nature.

Why not create some that will mint Gold?

— Hafiz, fourteenth-century Persian poet 

Someone once asked His Holiness the Dalai Lama, “If you only had one word to describe the secret of happiness, and of living a fulfilling and meaningful life, what would that word be?” Without hesitating the Dalai Lama replied, “Routines.”

 A routine is something that we do regularly, without questioning or planning. Once established, routines require little effort, tracking, or decision making; by definition they become a consistent part of our lives. Routines are ways of doing that don’t require much conscious “doing.” This is what makes routines such powerful levers for supporting behaviors, whether positive or negative.

Our routines can help us or impede us, increase our focus and effectiveness or increase our distractedness. The best routines include those positive distractions we’ve already discussed — meditation, mindfulness, stress breaks, and so on. Positive routines also include all the other things we can do to balance our lives: exercise to refresh our bodies, talking with those we love, reading, going on retreats. These are activities that refresh and energize.

Positive routines are built to exclude severe distractions — the overstimulation and overexertion, without respite or relief, that can lead to anxiety, sleeplessness, depression, and a real lack of focus.

Why is this? Why would the Dalai Lama answer “routines” as an essential element on the path toward happiness and meaning? In what way do routines reduce “drag” and “resistance” and create ease, meaning, and a deeper sense of accomplishment?

Several answers come to mind, which we will examine in more depth:

• We all have routines; why not create positive ones?
• Routines are the way of nature (and we are part of nature . . .).
• Routines connect us to something larger than ourselves.
• Paradoxically, through the structures provided by routines, we can develop flexibility because our minds are so much clearer and our bodies more refreshed.
• Routines can support personal growth and the transformation of old, unwanted patterns.
  

We All Have Routines, So Make Positive Ones

We all have routines, so why not have positive ones? Do you brush your teeth each morning and evening? Do you bathe or shower; prepare regular meals? Do you read or meditate every day, once a week, or not at all? Do you exercise three days a week, five days a week, or no days per week? Do you eat healthy or unhealthy food? Do you get up at the same time each morning, watch the same television shows, use many of the same phrases and expressions?

 Since there is no avoiding routines, why not create routines that are supportive, healthy, and lead toward what you want to accomplish in your life. Routines are the ways in which we take care of ourselves. The three basic routines that I prescribe to nearly all of my coaching clients include the following:

Practice Meditation Daily

I often suggest that people spend fifteen to thirty minutes at the beginning of each day meditating — just sitting, just being alive, just being with their breath. This is a basic “sharpening the saw” activity, in which we are the saw. Meditation practice is a way to slow down, look deeply, and reveal ourselves to ourselves.

 Exercise Three Days Per Week

Regular exercise is essential to maintaining our health and taking care of our bodies and minds. By exercise, I mean getting a good solid aerobic workout for at least thirty minutes — such as walking, running, or using an exercise machine at the gym. I recognize that not everyone can exercise in this way, but within your physical abilities, you can still make exercise part of your routine.

 Write Every Day in a Journal

Writing seems to access a different part of our brains than thinking or speaking. We can learn and grow by developing a regular writing practice. Each morning, or each night before you go to sleep, spend ten to fifteen minutes recording your thoughts, plans, fears, highlights of the day, or aspirations. Experiment with just writing without editing. Doing so is both cathartic and revealing. See if you can approach writing as an exploration, without quite knowing what you will find. Journaling helps build self-awareness by highlighting recurring problems and negative patterns that otherwise may continue without our noticing. After a week or month, go back and read what you’ve journaled. Do you see patterns or insights that surprise or disappoint you, or make you feel better about yourself? 

PHOTO: Flickr /range_of_light