Some might believe that I have a conservative POV on ‘donor/vendor’ and ‘surrogacy’ conception. Some might think that it is just conservatives, Catholics or people who are ‘unenlightened’, ‘bigoted’, ‘insensitive’ who have issues with this method of conception. I am none of these. Actually my viewpoint is in line with many spiritual and humanist perspectives.
I read a blog titled The Consciousness Media Network (http://www.consciousmedianetwork.com/) and stumbled upon an interview with Sai Maa from Humanity in Unity (http://www.humanityinunity.org/HIU/Home/index.cfm) on parenting.
From the interview:
"As most women I have come across, mostly in the West, they WANT a child. It’s not about creating a consciousness. I WANT a child. I don’t want to be alone anymore and I know I won’t be married…
It’s NOT about wanting a child. STOP THE WANTING. Create. Co-create and it’s such an important thing for a child to have BOTH, BOTH parents there as role models…"
There is a taboo word that is NEVER spoken during these debates/discussions on ‘donor/vendor/surrogacy’ conception and that word is ACCEPTANCE.
A child OR a parent/bio-father/bio-mother/bio-family – cannot do for you what you cannot do for yourself.
That being said, I do STRONGLY believe that the chicken (the WANTING of the parent(s)) are NOT more important than the egg (the NEEDS of the children who have been INTENTIONALLY disconnected from one or both of the biological/genetic parent(s) and extended family to fill their parent(s) WANT).
I do believe that the children’s wants are also NEEDS (for identity and acceptance and love from ALL the people we come from and belong to. In order to give us meaning in life, a connection to a past/history, and feelings of self worth, pride, belonging, for ourselves and our own children and their children etc. To not feel we were simply a transaction, a commodity, a means to an end. There is a strong spiritual element.). This is not a matter of WANT, this is a NEED that (the children – the adults they grow to be and their own children), should absolutely be given priority over an adults want to fill a void they are unable to fill on their own.
If you are without a partner who wants to co-create with you, if your significant other cannot co-create with you – stop the WANTING and ACCEPT. It may happen naturally or it might not. But the WANTING is what creates the pain. Rise above it and as my mother’s doctor said to me "Count your blessings". Wise words.
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