Ever heard of Think and Grow Rich? It’s a quaint bestseller, published during the Great Depression and now available free. Written with the support of billionaire Andrew Carnegie, it is said to have sold 30 million copies. It was one of the first self-help books for harnessing the mind–a forerunner of "The Secret."
Curiously, author Napoleon Hill devoted an entire chapter to, "THE MYSTERY OF SEX TRANSMUTATION." Sexual desire, he explained, is a powerful force that fuels genius and abundance…when a person learns to use sex (1) lovingly with a mate, and (2) without dissipating sexual energy purely to ease physical urges.
Was his advice based on the morals peculiar to his time or was he pointing to a deeper truth? Today many of us think the prime benefit of sex is the release of sexual tension. Yet historically, sages taught that redirecting sexual desire could actually strengthen us from within, thereby enabling us to meet goals more easily. Here’s what Hill had to say:
Ignorance on the subject of sex transmutation forces stupendous penalties upon the ignorant on the one hand, and withholds from them equally stupendous benefits on the other.
The desire for sexual expression is inborn and natural. The desire cannot, and should not, be submerged or eliminated. But it should be given an outlet through forms of expression which enrich the body, mind, and spirit of man. If not given this form of outlet, through transmutation, it will seek outlets through purely physical channels.
Transmutation of sex energy calls for more willpower than the average person cares to use for this purpose. Those who find it difficult to summon willpower sufficient for transmutation may gradually acquire this ability.
The intriguing thing about Hill’s ideas is that readers can make their own experiments and evaluate results. What exactly did Hill propose? He believed we tend to overdo it sexually, and there’s some support for his conviction. Here’s a taste of his fiery rhetoric:
No man can avail himself of the forces of his creative imagination while dissipating them. Man is the only creature on earth which violates Nature’s purpose in this connection. Every other animal responds to the call of sex only in "season." Man’s inclination is to declare "open season."… The lives of many reflect a continued dissipation of energies, which could have been more profitably turned into better channels. Their finer and more powerful emotions are sown wildly to the four winds.
Sex, alone, is a mighty urge to action, but its forces are like a cyclone–they are often uncontrollable. When the emotion of love begins to mix itself with the emotion of sex, the result is calmness of purpose, poise, accuracy of judgment, and balance.
Hill notes that most men don’t discover the hidden potential in sex, if they ever do, until they are at least thirty. But if they do, step back!
It has the effect of lifting the individual far above the horizon of ordinary thought, and permits him to envision distance, scope, and quality of thoughts [otherwise] not available.
Incidentally, a new study seems to confirm that loving feelings indeed spur creativity. A few weeks ago a single guy–who was apparently curious what would happen if he cut back on frequent masturbation for an extended period–reported:
I’ve just realized something. When I was using porn frequently (really frequently, by the way) women just all seemed like "objects" to me. I only saw them in a sexual light and no other. I never asked myself, "I wonder what she’s thinking" or "I wonder what she’s feeling." I think ejaculating so much just made me insensitive. Now things are SO different, other people matter and their feelings matter. Before, if I saw an attractive woman, the thoughts that would race through my head were all from watching porn. It’s like porn had "conditioned" me to see women a certain way. Now all women seem attractive to me, I can see the beauty in all of them, and honestly, I see that beauty in men too. It seems weird, but I seem to learn so much quicker than I did before. Another strange thing is that my intuition is much better now. I’ll be listening to the radio and I just know what song is going to come on next. Or I’ll be thinking of a song, and as soon as I turn on the radio or walk into a store, it’s playing – little things like that. I can also tell how others are feeling very quickly. It’s like I feel it too.
What about employing Hill’s ideas with a new partner? The same guy just wrote:
No orgasm was experienced, something much more satisfying and longer lasting occurred. We had an erotic shower together first. In the bedroom we spent lots of time kissing and exploring each other’s body. We then massaged each other. It was just wonderful. I felt so energized, giving and receiving. When I entered her, my intent was to concentrate on how everything felt rather than anyone’s orgasm. We found a slow and continuous rhythm. Whenever I got close I slowed down to focus on touching and kissing. This carried on for almost an hour and eventually it got to a point where I remained still inside of her and we just stroked and kissed each other. There was no peak; we enjoyed roaming in the "valleys." Both of us felt so healed. Afterward we just could not stop chatting about EVERYTHING. Even now, I feel so content.
A contemporary of Napoleon Hill, Dr. J. William Lloyd, observed something very similar about this same practice, which he called karezza. (For details, see Lloyd’s book, also available for free.)
In successful Karezza the sex-organs become quiet, satisfied, demagnetized, as perfectly as by the orgasm, while the rest of the body of each partner glows with a wonderful vigor and conscious joy…tending to irradiate the whole being with romantic love; and always with an after-feeling of health … and well-being. We are most happy and good-humored as after a full meal.
Could profound contentment be an ideal mindset for attracting wealth? Certainly my husband and I have experienced a surprising flow of abundance since we began employing this practice of frequent intercourse without the goal of orgasm eight years ago. Our theory is that by passing up that "I’m done!" feeling, we don’t trigger a subconscious sense of lack during the recovery period that follows sexual satiety. Instead we enjoy lingering feelings of wholeness.
Perhaps this is the mystery that Hill attempted to share with readers. If so, careful management of sexual energy leading to deep feelings of satisfaction might be especially shrewd during today’s recession.
Maybe our increased flow of abundance is purely coincidental, but just in case it isn’t, you may want to make Hill’s experiment yourself for a few weeks.
Marnia,
I always enjoy your posts. But, as I've said before, sex without the payoff or orgasm is a tough sell–in any culture. In dual path Taoist cultivation, orgasm in the usual way is not encouraged; the power of orgasm is sent through gates up the spine into the glands in the skull. No loving feelings are supposed to be engendered for your partner; it is essentially an energy exercise. Perhaps the reverse of what you have articulated.
I practice single path, in which moderation of sexual relations, and orgasm, is promulgated. Periods of celibacy are encouraged to pump the great creative power back into the glands. Which I've done.
Bob
Thank you Marnia for this thought-provoking article! I love to read about ideas that turn conventional thinking 'on its head' and that help me see things from a different perspective.
The idea of having sex without having an orgasm as a payoff must be a tough sell as Bob points out, and it does seem weird at first. But you've managed pretty well, I think, to make this idea sound not only interesting but also beneficial.
Thank you also for all the links you provided. I thought the article about love and creativity (from the Scientific American) was fascinating, it helps one see that love does not only makes us feel good but it can also make us more creative and thus help us to overcome problems in our lives and the lives of those around us. It helps reinforce the idea that, generally speaking, the more loving thoughts we have the better our lives will be.
(I like the way the authors from the Scientific American explained the phenomena – love puts us into a 'global processing' mode which is more creative whereas thinking about sex puts us in a 'localized' processing mode which interferes with creativity but promotes logical thinking. However, I'm surprised they did not write about the underlying feeling states that these two modes engender because I think that that's important to think about as well. Thinking about sex is going to put us into a more agitated state which obviously will 'fire up' and stimulate the brain and therefore make us better at solving logical problems. On the other hand, thinking about love releases tensions and makes us feel calmer and more relaxed and – as many studies have shown – feeling relaxed puts us into a more creative state of mind. So thinking about doing things that puts one in a relaxed state of mind is key, I think, and some people may find that more helpful as an explanation? I think this way of looking at it can also help to explain why sex without orgasm as a goal can be more satisfying in the long term because there will be less agitation and more mindfulness and surprisingly perhaps there will be a deeper, longer-lasting and more genuine sense of relaxation arising from it.)
Love and peace