Similarity Isn’t Sameness

When you compare yourself to somebody else, you are comparing you to not-you.  But uniqueness is beyond comparison.  Sure, you and so-and-so might be very similar, but similarity isn’t sameness.  For you to score like they do (whoever they might be), look like they do, earn like they do, talk like they do – to be like they are – you’d have to not be you.  But you are you: not worse, not better, just different. 

To function as a society, and to function in a society, we have to play this game of comparisons.  This game is useful but fundamentally absurd.  After all, how do you compare apples to oranges?  Is an apple better than an orange?  It depends on the mouth, i.e. on somebody’s subjective taste.  Is an apple better than an orange in any objective sense?  Of course, not.  It’s just different. 

When we say “it is what it is” we are also saying that “it” (whatever that “it” might be) is unique, i.e. different from anything else.  Is so-and-so better than you?  That depends on a subjective point of view.   No matter how similar the two of you might be, you aren’t the same and the difference between the two of you is what accounts for all the differences between the two of you.

  Embrace your uniqueness!  Whoever or whatever you are, celebrate the uniqueness of your existence.  It too is part of the ordinary perfection of all that is!

 excerpt from "Present Perfect" (2010)

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About Pavel Somov, Ph.D.

My intent is to help you reclaim eating moments of your life with meaning and moderation; to help you leverage self-acceptance and compassion; and to help you rediscover your essential self. Pavel Somov, Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist and the author of "Eating the Moment" (New Harbinger, 2008), "Present Perfect" (NH, 2010), "The Lotus Effect" (NH, 2010), "Smoke Free Smoke Break" (2011), and "Reinventing the Meal" (in press, 2012). He is in private practice in Pittsburgh, PA. http://www.eatingthemoment.com http://www.huffingtonpost.com/pavel-somov

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2 Responses to Similarity Isn’t Sameness

  1. DOMINIC October 26, 2009 at 5:49 pm #

    Pavel..I detect the motivation of TRUE SELF and without judgement or criticism you are leaving open a great void of true success as there is no boundaries to actually be imprisoned with…very good post as well

    Dom*

  2. pavel.somov October 26, 2009 at 8:58 pm #

    Thanks, Dom, as always.