In my counseling practice, I occasionally work with clients on developing meditation – or simply "relaxation" – practices. Many of my clients who are extremely accomplished in the world nevertheless have a very difficult time quieting the mind and finding a sense of peace. They are able to work 12-hour days, but find it nearly impossible to sit in silence for five minutes.
These clients find traditional relaxation practices to be inaccessible. For them, I often recommend what I call the "slingshot approach."
I want to share the approach because even those of us who are able to meditate regularly may nevertheless find ourselves in a particularly stressful phase of our lives. At these times, we too may find it difficult to access a sense of peace. The slingshot approach can help at these times.
To use Course in Miracles terms, the slingshot approach involves spending five or ten minutes throwing our focus entirely to our "ego-oriented" thoughts and feelings. Instead of seeking out a sense of peace, we seek for exactly the opposite.
We take an unabashed look at the angry, anxious, guilty, resistant, or otherwise misery-producing thoughts and feelings that are bouncing around in our minds. We unmask them completely. Our goal is focus on them as clearly and completely as possible.
To describe this process, I often use the metaphor of a parent with a temper-tantruming child. If the parent ignores or argues back with the child, the child will likely continue his tantrum. But if the parent gives the child her full attention – even encourages the child to be more descriptive, more clear, more expressive about his distress – the sails of the tantrum begin to lose their wind.
The child will likely begin to calm down as the parent listens actively to the child’s description of his pain. But imagine, as the child quiets, that the parent encourages the child to keep going. "Tell me more," she says. "Keep describing your complaints and frustrations."
Fairly soon, the child will run out of steam. He might actually begin to turn in the opposite direction. He might find that the last thing he wants is to continue to describe all his complaints.
Similarly, when we spend five or ten minutes listening completely to the tantrums of the distressed mind – when we put it fully on-stage, fully under the bright spotlights with a completely attentive audience – we’ll often find that it no longer needs (or even wants) to pull at our attention.
It’s at this time that we can "slingshot" around (or through) the distressed mind to a deep sense of peace, just as spacecraft slingshot around planets in order to launch in an opposite direction.
We have given our ego-oriented part of the mind our complete attention. We have calmly listened to all of its painful thoughts and feelings. And now, as it quiets under the spotlights, we may find that it creates an opening to a sense of tranquility.
This article originally appeared in Dan’s free Quiet Mind newsletter. For a selection of articles, or to sign up for the newsletter, please click here.
PHOTO (cc): Flickr / 5150fantast
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