The idea of being a “good person” is just another false sense of self that we can buy into. Being a good person is not the point of spirituality, interestingly enough. It is not the goal. It’s not about being some superloving and compassionate saint. It’s about realizing who you really are. With this realization, you may find that you naturally become very loving and compassionate, just like the many others who have done so before throughout history, but that’s secondary. It’s not the primary focus. It’s a superficial change that tends to occur in the presence of the deeper inner realization.
One identity that I’ve been playing for a long time is being “a good person.” I was a good student in school, avoided getting in trouble, was a law-abiding citizen in life, and so on. There’s nothing wrong with any of this at all. It’s simply that none of these define who you are.
self-definition:
If you stopped being “a good person,” would you cease to exist?
Well no, of course not. Then it’s not who you really are.
You are not a good person.
But what does the mind do when it hears the phrase, “You are not a good person?”
That’s right. It goes straight to its opposite. “If I’m not a good person, then that means I must be a bad person.”
But is that true? If you stopped playing the part of “bad person,” would you cease to exist?
Again, no. You are neither a good person nor a bad person. You are not definable along any part of the made-up spectrum between good and bad. In fact, you are not definable at all. You exist beyond duality.
Integrating the Dark and the Light:
Inside you you have the potential to be a very dark person. A killer and a rapist.
Inside you you have the potential to be a very light person. A healer and a lover.
You have the potential to draw forth from any energy and play any part. You are ALL that is.
Getting stuck in being “a good person” is only half of the story. You are the good AND the bad. You are the light AND the dark. And yet you are neither for you are beyond both entirely.
With this comes the acceptance of the dark portions of yourself and the willingness to face everything and be anything if necessary, for it is all you. With this realization that the darkness is just as much a part of you as the light, any remaining unresolved darkness within may come rising to the surface to be released now that you have stopped repressing it. As it comes up, it’s almost saying, “Are you really willing to face me?”
You may experience fear, powerful emotion, tears, and even the feeling of dying, yet none of these experiences are you. You are the awareness which is witnessing these experiences.
As the darkness arises, it is accepted and loved as it is without being judged or asked to change and thus you are healed as you transmute the darkness directly into light with the Love of the Self. You become lighter. More enlightened. Filled with light.
This is about accepting yourself FULLY as you are, warts and all. It’s about being willing to look directly at all aspects of yourself without running away, no matter what. It’s the willingness to bare your soul and be who you truly are.
Accepting Others Unconditionally:
The world we experience basically functions as a mirror to reflect back to us our own internal state of being. One interesting thing about accepting the darkness within yourself is that you find you automatically begin accepting the darkness within all others.
You’ll begin to drop the need for others to change in order for you to accept them. Thus your love flows ever more freely and unconditionally. You no longer hold back your Love for any reason. Your Love becomes truly unconditional.
Is Who You Are Actually Okay?:
We have this deep dark fear that if we are who we really are, we won’t be acceptable.
Religions teach us that we are sinners by nature. Original sin, as it’s called. We need to do the right things and be the right person in order to (hopefully) get into heaven.
Advertisers tell us we aren’t good enough by default and need their products to make us better.
As little kids, we play naturally and those around us tell us “no” or “yes, good boy, good girl” as a way to get us to conform to their standards rather than be ourselves. We learn that we’re not acceptable as we are and need to change who we are to fit in and be loved, to be safe and secure and protected.
There’s this movement in our society today for self-improvement, often based upon the idea that we’re not good enough just the way we are and we need to become something or do something or achieve something to become valuable and worthy.
There’s this deep deep drive in our society to be a “better” person, whatever that means to us.
Fear of Surrender to our True Nature:
There’s this fear that if we let go totally and just be ourselves, whoever we find ourselves to be, maybe we won’t be good enough. Maybe we’ll act out all those crazy thoughts that our mind thinks if we totally let go of control of resisting.
There’s the fear that our true nature is somehow evil and through surrender we will fall into the darkness, never to return.
Are you willing to find out? In the name of Truth and no longer living a lie, are you willing to be who you really are, at all costs?
Are you willing to face your own death? I’m not saying you need to want to die, but are you willing to face it? Are you willing to face the destruction of all sense of self? Are you willing to lose everything you’re now holding on to and think is real?
Are you willing to let go of being seen as a good person, as opposed to something else?
Are you willing to let go of ALL sense of identity and all beloved sense of self and dive straight into the unknown?
Are you willing to sit here, not knowing, not trying to figure out, not trying to fix it, and not trying to get anywhere to escape who you are?
Are you willing to just be?
http://www.YouAreTrulyLoved.com
http://www.youtube.com/arielbravy
Wow, Ariel, I never thought of spirituality in that way before. Very intriguing and mind-expanding. I love it when an Intent blog allows me to see something in a new light. Thank you so much!
I enjoyed reading your post, it is so true, way to go Ariel.
Very good article ,I had just one question Ariel :-
Why is it that pure gold and diamond so expensive even the smallest one ?? and why is it that man made gems which glitter more , are more jazzy in looks and if bigger can catch someone's eye more ?? The same reason can guide someone in judging a person , a man with lot of MBA degrees , a doctor with MD degree can be actually be less valuable than the man with true wisdom or a doctor with a lesser degree but true understanding what is a human being. Real gems getting valued more than the ones honed to look like one ??
I've only recently begun to allow the dark (it's more like uncomfortable) areas of thought to be, but I find they are no longer dark or uncomfortable as soon as I allow them to be and watch them. They become just another area of thought/psychology. It is only what we haven't processed within ourselves that we find the most challenging in others.
Beautiful Ariel – your words are imbued with insight and wisdom.
I love the image of diving into the unknown, realizing Self is found in this leap.
Love, Greg
Thank you very much Ariel!
This is very true:
Our outer layers are made out of either Light and Shadows and there's nothing bad about it!
xxx
Luv
A.
http://www.myspace.com/anitabooh
dear Ariel,
i wish u enjoy calm & happy times
pls allow me to disagree w some of ur statements. maybe i'd prefer to give it a slightly different reflection.
i read ur words na. strong words. but i'm sorry — i just cannot agree
1) i'm not sure what u're talking about what's a "deeper inner realization".
2) to say, "to become a 'good' person" is a "superficial change that tends to occur in the presence of the deeper inner realization." — i'm sorry, i oppose that notion.
3) u go on for some time exemplifying ur personal struggle being embedded in ur social, cultural, karmic frame of experience for this challenge that is the apparent dichotomy "good vs bad". thx for ur sincerity.
3a) it seems, u've encountered some realization about the inhibitions social, cultural phantasma impose on individual unfolding. we all do, it comes with being alive; sharing being alive with others, with family, friends, plants, trees, animals, mountains & clouds, a whole planet.
3b) i'm not sure i do understand. this uproar. yes, i'd say it's nice & fine to "realize" one's very own illusions delusions karmic fabric of what's "good" or "bad". humbly i'd like to point at… that dozens hundreds thousands of different human cultures… express & manifest their very own realities of what's "good" or "bad". right now.
3c) so maybe… what u're talking about… being a "dark" or "bad" aspect of your very individual human nature — just ain't neither "dark" nor "bad" in different human cultures.
3d) yes, it implies… _each_ individual of whatever human culture has to face the inherent dichotomy of what's "good" or "bad". it comes w being alive
4) i joyfully go along with ur words, maybe culminating in this question to so-called "dark" or "bad" aspects of ur individual incarnation:
You hit the nail on the head when you said that there are no "good" and "bad" things. They're completely arbitrary. Of course, Khun.
All of your examples are not truly bad either. For example, is it really "bad" to kill life? Is it bad for any creature to kill any plant or animal, or is death just a natural part of life?
When seen in a certain context, your examples may be "good," or they may even be "bad!"
For example, for many people, the quickest way to realizing who they are is to find out experientially who they are not. Your examples may be a way for them to do just this. So as "bad" as they may be, in the larger scheme of things, they may be good, especially considering the fact that you can never truly die nor be damaged. Your true nature, that is.
Your examples point to the idea of positive and negative, integrative vs. segregative energies in a very mechanical sense.
It's about honoring and accepting all of life, accepting every aspect of yourself, and then finding that from that space, we often choose the light naturally when the inner struggle is released.
Namaste,
-Ariel
http://www.YouAreTrulyLoved.com
WRONG. we do have to try to be a better person. what the hell would be the point of life if we did not. what the hell is being yourself. you are just pieces of societal influences, parental influences, and environmental influences put together. there is no such thing as your own personality. everything about us was taken from our surroundings. therefore there is no such thing as YOU. there will ALWAYS be the struggle between doing RIGHT and doing WRONG. being human, and things that are bad always being easier and more desirable to us than things that are RIGHT, we as humans as a whole will most always choose WRONG over RIGHT. in the end if we just let go and "BE OURSELVES" we will fail as mankind. therefore we must exercise choosing more right than wrong. this means striving to be a better person. "spirituality not being about being a good person" is just a load of crap and an easy way out for human beings. oh just be yourself you don't have to try to do anything. YES YOU DO. you DO have to try.
YES we must accept the bad things about ourselves, but only as being a part of ourselves. we must try to make these parts better. we must STRIVE to be better. we accept that they are there and we try to do better. that is who we are. we must make ourselves better. we cannot simply accept that we are bad and then continue to be so. we as humankind must constantly strive to make ourselves better. that is the entire point of our existance. we do things to try to discover what we must do to be BETTER. we do not just go around every single day doing inane tasks for no utter reason. we do them because we are constantly looking for something, constantly longing and searching for ways to be better and make those around us better.
while we indeed must try to make ourselves better after accepting the bad things about ourselves, true happiness and spirituality can only be achieved by looking outwards, not inwards. it is achieved by loving others. that is what it means to be a good person. therefore, spirituality IS about being a good person.
ariel, you are very good looking but your beliefs are oh so very wrong. did i really just hear you ask, "is it really "bad" to kill life?" SERIOUSLY? my god man. you are soooo deluded.
you think it is not bad to kill someone? sure some of that spiritual stuff is great but this is just dead wrong. moral relativism is the stupidest thing ever. OF COURSE it is wrong to kill. therefore there IS RIGHT AND WRONG. moral relativism is just a lazy way out, an escape because today in this world we are too into doing bad things that we invent such things to escape the fact that there will ALWAYS be right and wrong.
YOU KNOW THERE IS RIGHT AND WRONG. MORAL RELATIVISM IS JUST SELF-DENIAL.
IT IS WRONG TO KILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
why the hell would you question this. would you want me to kill you? would you kill me? or the person above you? you really wouldn't think anything was wrong if, granted society accepted it, people went around killing whoever they wanted? all throughout history, killing another human being is been regarded as WRONG. sure at times and with certain groups it was done a lot more than it is today but it was still considered wrong. it IS WRONG. you can't just take someone's life. you would really kill someone? there is no right and wrong? there are no "good" and "bad" things? you'd really go out and bomb a country? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!. BECAUSE YOU KNOW IT'S WRONG. BECAUSE THERE IS RIGHT AND WRONG. BECAUSE THERE IS GOOD AND BAD. what kind of delusional psycho crap is saying there is no bad and good and questioning whether it is wrong to kill? even the craziest most wanted serial killer and the doctor who performs millions of abortions a day knows that it is wrong to kill. regardless, many still live in denial. im sorry to tell you, but there are "bad" and "good" things and there is right and wrong. and why the hell do you talk about "honoring and accepting all of life" and in the same post say that it is not wrong to kill?
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