Suicide……

 

This topic for many might be a little controversial but I have realized that if people are not willing to discuss this on going occurrence which is growing on a bigger scale than any flu-preventing suicide will get more difficult as time passes by.

 

Recently we have seen how the ex-president of South Korea and an upcoming British actress and a student committed suicide-their reasons might vary but I am pretty sure the thought process did not. Everyone has a reason to take this drastic step and I have realized that being judgmental about it won’t help anyone in general. I read somewhere that “Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem” as the problems get transferred to your loved ones as they have to deal with the grief, the guilt and the pain of losing someone they love So, I kept asking myself this question repeatedly- how can we prevent suicide? Even though, I have no concrete facts and proofs to support my answer or my explanation, I do have experience as I have been to a point where I had given up on life.

 

Being someone who tried to commit suicide once- I know how someone would get to that stage where life feels completely hopeless and every aspect of your life is an obstacle which you are forced to live. I cannot really explain the feelings that are evoked but I can tell you this for certain, no matter what was happening around me and even if my life was going smoothly-I always saw the glass half empty and I was on a miserable state of mind. Every thing was a chore to me and everyone was my enemy and as the days passed, I kept falling into this abyss where being oblivious to the world’s pressure (that’s how I saw my life), the on going duties, the misery I had to face everyday-sounded extremely appealing. I cried my self to stupor, I woke up feeling empty and hollow and extremely sad.  I got extremely angry and violent with people I was close to and simply build a brick wall around me and did not let anyone be close to me –psychically, mentally, and socially. It went for at least two years when one day where I hit rock bottom and took pills and just wished to end my life. Even when my sister made me puke the pills- I was angry at her for saving me and my unpredictable mood swings just continued .One day I woke up and realized that being depressed had become a habit for me and the reasons (most of which were assumptions made by me) were an excuse for me to live a life that I had become comfortable with. It was my safe haven and my cocoon and as long as I was miserable and sad, I knew how to act that part. I was scared of going towards a different path where I could find happiness, love and have a positive outlook on life; I was scared that I did not how to cope with these feelings. But, then after that realization, I tried to change my life and have tried to stay positive. Even though it is hard sometimes, I have realized that life is worth living. However, I was lucky; I had good social and family support, people who did not give up on me no matter how I treated them, especially my sister.

 

And most importantly, the change came from within me and I realized that I could come out of this mental state where everything felt empty, and I was willing to change. So, these two things are important when someone is in that stage of life; rather than isolating them, we should ask them to seek professional help and at the same time be there for them-if not as a direct force in their life then indirectly.

 

 

I am discussing this topic not only as a person who has been to that point where I wanted to end my life but recently a person I was close to implied that he is depressed and is extremely suicidal. This person did not tell me directly but to some one he is closer too than me. Since, I have lost touch with him and have no idea how he got to such a state saddens me. I feel that I should have kept in touch and at least asked how life was treating him at least once in awhile.

 

I have mixed feelings about this situation as he does not want to discuss this with anyone and wants to be alone and yet I wish I could do something. Being 1000 miles away does not seem to help either. I am hoping to keep in touch with him and yet I don’t want him to be defensive .Ironic that as a person who has been in his shoes, I really don’t know how to handle his situation.

 

But, one thing I have realized is that people should not take someone being sad and depressed lightly and ignore their feelings or worst-scold or ostracize the person for acting defensive or simply acting out. And if they are trying to express their feelings in various ways-don’t ignore it or simply justify their feelings as minute and irrelevant and something that will go away. If you cannot effectively communicate with this person, just let them know you are around if they would want to talk. I believe simply knowing that people care makes a big difference!