Tag Archives: affection

5 Quick, Easy Habits That Have Actually Strengthened My Relationships.

love-urban-300x197When people think about changing their habits, they often think of the diet-and-exercise family of habits.

Also, as much as I personally love habits, I know that many people associate habit-change with having to make a lot of effort.

But habits don’t have to take a lot of time or energy to form, and they can help us with any aspect of our lives. I have to admit, even now, after spending years thinking about habits, I’m astonished by how much a truly tiny habit can boost happiness.

For instance, here are some examples of a few quick, easy habits that I’ve adopted to strengthen my relationships. They’re all practically effortless, they all make me happier.

These kinds of habits are particularly helpful to me, because the truth is, I can get lost in my own head, and become so focused on crossing something off my to-do list that I neglect to make time to connect with the people who are most important to me. In the tumult of everyday life, I find it all too easy to overlook what really matters.

So I’ve made these habits: Continue reading

5 Tips to Deepen Intimacy in Your Relationships

innersexyDeep connections, quality relationships – the experience of feeling seen, heard and understood brings us the greatest joy in life. Here are 5 tips to deepen intimacy in any relationship – a friendship, family or love relationship.

1. Ask for Help (sooner than you want)

Our attachments and intimacy with others are bred through our vulnerabilities.

The meeting of our vulnerabilities is the sweet spot. This is where we have the ability to truly see one another. The experience of being seen and seeing is called mirroring. Psychologically, it is the bridge of intimacy and forges a strong bond (attachment) – knowing someone else will accept and be there for you, even (especially) in your weakest moments.

Take a risk of to be vulnerable and open yourself up to share from the heart. What is happening under the surface of your life and the veneer of your persona? Tell your partner if you’re sad, afraid, hurt or emotional. Practice staying authentic and articulate about your emotional state and ask for understanding, tenderness or help.

2. Let Your Partner Take the Lead

In relationships we tend focus on ourselves and assume that our needs are more important than our partners.

Flip it. Just for this month, practice allowing your partner’s needs to take priority. What if their needs are just as (or more) important than your own?

Self-abandonment is not what I am suggesting. Assuming you have healthy boundaries, attune to what your partner wants or needs. Ask them. Let your partner take the lead. Where do they want to go to dinner? Where do they want to go on vacation? What do they want to do this weekend?

This is a Buddhist/yogic concept of expanding the definition of who you are to include the ‘other’. Widening our perception of Self to include another breeds understanding and union. Instead of using a relationship or looking at our partners as a means to meet our needs – we elevate into a selfless, giving, generous approach. Much like building a successful business or any join venture, ask:

  • “How can I help you?” 
  • “How can I give more?” 
  • “What do you need and how can I serve?”

3. Set a Daily Check in with Your Partner

Set aside 10-20 min. a day to tune in to each other in full presence (no cell phones or TV, please). A great time to do this is at night. Take 10 minutes each to reflect on the day. Listen athletically to each other and offer support or feedback. When you can manage, try to go to bed at the same time, cuddle and reflect out loud – What went well? What was disappointing or frustrating? What do you intend to create for the next day?

Practice gratitude together. Get in the habit of reflecting the positive and holding each other in positive regard so you mirror back to your partner their positive attributes. Encouragement and support changes our biochemistry. Consistency in authentic connection is the glue that keeps a relationship together. Commit to a daily check in.

4. Show Up with Fresh Eyes

See your partner anew. We evolve and change constantly. Our hopes, dreams and skills shift. When we’re in relationship, it’s tempting to view our partner through an old, outdated perspective – who they were, how they acted or what they wanted before. Give your man (or woman) the space, just like a child, to shape shift, change, learn and grow. Tune into them – ask them “Where are you at today?”  “What are you feeling/wanting/dreaming of?”

Try silently observing and allowing them to show you who they are. Open your eyes and your mind. This creates more spaciousness to feel held and supported in who we are authentically – today. Let yourself be surprised. Seek to learn something NEW about your partner everyday.

5. Breed Affection

Bring more affection into your relationship. After years of listening to couples in therapy, I can tell you – it’s often (if not, usually) the smallest things that end up fracturing and eroding a relationship. Know the little things that your partner needs, wants or delights in.

  • How can you show random acts of kindness?
  • How can you be more affectionate?
  • How can you sweetly surprise them and bring a smile to their face?

Gentle touches, thinking what they might want from the grocery store or reaching out sending them a text or a note at work in support go a long way in building a foundation and reservoir of love.

Leave a comment and share – how do you deepen intimacy in relationships with those around you?

Celebrate Sea Otter Awareness with this Adorable Video

This year marks the 10th anniversary of Sea Otter Awareness Week, which occurs in the last week of September according to SeaOtterWeek.org. To celebrate we found this adorable video of two otters at the Vancouver Aquarium. Take a peek below:

Sea otters are known for holding hands so they don’t lose each other in the current as they sleep.

However, this awareness week was inspired not only because of the pretty universal understanding that sea otters are adorable – but to inform the public of the vital functions they perform in nearshore ecosystems and protect the species from extinction. According to the US Geological Survey’s Western Ecological Research Center sea otter numbers are up this year, which is reason to celebrate! But their most recent survey says that the California sea otter population is still only 2,941. The population needs to remain above 3,090 for three consecutive years to be taken off the endangered list.

So do your part to raise awareness for these awesome animals – share this video and go visit the otters at your local zoo or aquarium! Or you can check out a list of activities for the week here.

What animal would you like to see have their own awareness week? Tell us in the comments below! 

Are you using your gift?





Well, I am in Boston, MA right now, halfway through my to the East Coast tour. I am speaking at a number of colleges, sharing the message of discovering true beauty with students. Sharing this powerful message is such an honor and a pleasure, although I must say for a West Coast gal, the weather is a little on the chilly side!

 

I want to let you know about an incredible gift you have.

 

Did you realize that you have a tremendous gift that you can use anytime you want? It is a blessing that you can bestow upon others whenever you feel like it. You can give it freely anytime, anywhere. You can even give it to yourself. Is a beautiful gift that you can bestow on anyone and anything you wish. 

 

What is it? It is the gift of your attention. Pure, focused, uninterrupted attention. One of the most potent and powerful things we can give to another person is the power of our attention. This is also one of the greatest gifts we can give to ourselves.

 

How often do you listen to someone with complete attention? Most of the time, we are usually multi-tasking. We listen to someone but our minds jump from one thought to the next. We are only paying partial attention.

 

Have you ever had the blessing of someone’s pure, complete attention? Paying complete attention can be enough to help someone feel loved; it can be enough to help someone heal.

 

When we give someone our complete attention, we are much more likely to be able to offer insight of some type.

 

Make it a practice today to paying complete attention. When you are speaking with someone, notice when your mind wanders. Practice bringing your awareness back gently, easily. Realize how much you are in the habit of not paying attention. Set an intention to create a new habit – the habit of offering your full attention and awareness to each person.

 

Simply by the power of paying attention, you can become a force of transformation in the world.

 

In love,

 

Sarah Maria

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Wife – The Meaningful Partner & Pioneer of our L I F E Symbol of Love, Beauty, Compassion, Gracefulness, Courage, Fortitude, M

Wife – The Meaningful Partner & Pioneer of our L I F E  Symbol of Love, Beauty,

Compassion, Gracefulness, Courage, Fortitude, Meaningfulness, Purposefulness,

Forbearance.  Temperance,Versatility,Tolerance, Insightfulness, Meaningful

Vision,Wisdom, Noble Principles & Exceptional Admirable Values

 

 

W for Wisdom

I for Intelligence

F for Foresight

E for Enthusiasm

 

W I F E – The very most Beautiful Person

A Wife is the very most enchanting; vivacious; meticulous; scintillating; dependable; admirable; passionate; pivotal inspiration of our life

Apparently

One’s love for One’s Wife does not have to be loudly exclaimed; extolled; sung melodiously; published; publicized or lavishly praised

The Purpose

The purpose for expression of this tribute is but a humble expression of love for my Wife; the life of my life

Love

The love that a Husband has for his Wife is a silent admiration that does not needs immense expressions; the love is silently expressed and is amongst one of the strongest and noble bonds of life

Privilege

The bond between a Husband and his Wife is one of nobility and amongst the very most eminent of privileges

Vows

The pledges that are taken when taking the vows during the wedding day remain wonderfully with us from lifetime to lifetimes

The Greatest and Most Loving Companion

It is indeed a honor to write these few words in honor of my Wife; the very greatest and very most loving companion

There is No One

Time and Again; Over and Over again; there is no one like one;s Wife

Weaves

A Wife is One who virtually weaves happiness into each and every strand of life
Greatness

Naturally a Wife’s greatness is not known by her
It is

Any Husband would be able to praise and keep on praising and recalling the glorious virtues of a Wife very proudly
Wife

A Wife is the one who shows us the vision of our life and provides a meaningfulness to the Husband’s and Family’s life
Amazing & Phenomenal

What a Wife accomplishes is truly amazing and phenomenal; outstanding and versatile; exceptional and noble
Aesthetic Beauty – Nothing Compares to One’s Wife

A Wife is the symbol and personification of aesthetic beauty; incomparable; nothing compares to a Wife
Entrepreneur

A Wife is the entrepreneur who keeps motivating and inspiring us to keep achieving meaningful and purposeful accomplishment in every sphere of life

Heart

A Wife is the heart throb for who one’s heart beats;
Home

A home is not a home without a Wife

Lifetime

A Wife is amongst the greatest and noblest of gifts; that is given to us in a life time

Lifetime to Lifetimes

It is also considered and believed that A Wife in one life time remains the life partner for seven life times very fortunately

Dependable – Reliable – Industrious

A Wife is intelligent; inspiring; meaningful; dependable; reliable; industrious; creative; illustrious; constructive; motivating; innovative; compassionate; caring; affectionate; admirable and adorable

 

Reciprocate

When we reciprocate the love and affection of our most wonderful companion in life, our Wife, we are living and practicing the very finest principles and values in life

Understand

A Wife is also able to understand her Husband much better than the Husband can understand his own self

Balance

A Wife teaches us to identify and establish a meaningful balance in each and every aspect of our life meaningfully

Intuitive – Insightful

A Wife is the very most intuitive; being able to perceive and comprehend so many aspects of life effortlessly and then seeking to explain the importance of each aspect  meaningfully

Inspiration – Source of Strength

A Wife is the source of strength

Wife – The Very Most Intelligent Life Partner & Inspiration

Caring and understanding; sharing meaningful values with the most wonderful life partner nobly called Wife; integrity with the very finest values; an meaningful association and an ever cherishing experience

A Wife – The Very Essence of Life

A Wife is not only a person who is full of affection, love, understanding, compassion, inspiration and the very finest virtues but a Wife adds extremely meaningful essence to every aspect of our life

Live Inspiringly- Respectfully

We live for our Family; we each live for our Wife (Wife and not *Wives since this is singular – Utmost loyalty comes first to a Wife; where there is absolutely staunch loyalty towards One’s Adorable and Dependable Life Partner; our Wife- *No disrespect intended please);

Family – Country – Universe – Respectfully

We live for our loving Family, our loving Country; our Loving Universe

Admirable Dependency

There is an admirable dependency when we each speak of our Wife

Thoughts

Whenever any reference is made or spoken about a Wife there are only glowing tributes and sheer admiration for a Wife’s beauty and wisdom, for the gracefulness and eloquence

Honors – Synopsis

A Wife is a Mother; a pioneer, a astronaut, a doctor and surgeon, a engineer, a scientist; an industrialist, a Wife is a meaningful leader; a Wife is the symbol of all that is pure, noble and sincere

 

Hope

A Wife has been to create Hope where none prevailed

 

Genius

A Wife is a genius

 

 

Meaningfully

A Wife listens, understands and then responds meaningfully; purposefully and insightfully

 

It is Very Well Known Time and Again

It is very well known that when the Husband is given the responsibility of taking care of the Family, he could accomplish the responsibilities unto to certain way, but it is the Wife that could always accomplish this similar task effortlessly and meaningfully; as well as add a touch of gracefulness to each and every aspect inspiringly

 

Vision

A Wife perseveres and creates hope where there was none

 

Miracles

A Wife brings about miracles upon miracles in one’s daily life

 

True Self

A Wife enables us to recognize our true self

 

Attributes

Whatever attributes relating to a Wife are being expressed; are but a very humble expression of a few of the very most finest virtues of life; since there is no life without a Wife

 

Personification

A Wife personifies everything that is meaningful and purposeful; everything that is the very finest and meaningful in life

 

Gracefulness

A Wife is the symbol of gracefulness

 

Faith – Hope – Love

A Wife is the symbol of faith, hope, love and the very finest of virtues in life

 

A Wife is Amazing

A Wife is unique and amazing; intelligent and meaningful; wise and thoughtful; humble and encouragingly inspirational; graceful and beautiful; constructive and creative

 

Creativity

Every aspect that relates to a Wife is phenomenal from the perspective of creativity

 

Confidence

A Wife instills the confidence in us and makes us see the value of each and every aspect of life meaningfully and purposefully

 

Life

Each and aspect of life is wonderful with a Wife; a Wife gives meaningfulness and purposefulness to Life; there is no real life without a Wife

 

Love

With all my Love to My Wife

 

Universal Welfare, Development, Stability and Happiness for One and All

Sarve Bhavantu Sukhina; Sarve Bhavantu Sukhina

May One and All be Happy

May One and All have well-being

May Happiness be showered on all

May One and All be Healthy

O Lord Protect us

O Lord Guide us

O Lord Grant us Wisdom

O Lord Lead us from darkness to Light (From ignorance to Knowledge)

O Lord May there always be Universal Welfare, Happiness & Development

Best Wishes,

Vashi

©2009 Vashi Ram Chandi

Disclaimer

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In no event whatsoever shall the featuring of this post or dissemination of any concerned/related details make me responsible for damages of any nature whatsoever resulting from the use of or reliance upon or communication / propagation / transmission of the information featured herewith.

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