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Having Faith In Positive Energy

SMILE.....IT'S MONDAY.Most people can relate to having a strong desire, belief and yes, even faith, that something good was about to happen. This may have been a strong intuition that they were going to get that promotion, meet Mr. or Mrs. Right or even reconnect with someone after a misunderstanding that created a rift in the relationship. However, for whatever reason, despite the strong belief that we had it would all work out, it didn’t. The promotion went to someone else, Mr. or Mrs. Right turned out to be wrong and despite our willingness to rekindle the relationship the other person wanted to stay mad and unforgiving.

When this happens the first step is to immediately see the negative. We berate ourselves for our wishful thinking, for our mistake believes and our misplaced faith in the positive aspects of the universe. We often block ourselves from trying again and sink into a cycle of negativity, cynicism and critical outlook on the world around us.

Instead, there are some simple steps that you can take to ensure that your faith, belief and hope stays alive and you stay focused on the positives. Getting caught up in negativity will only attract more negativity, a concept that is central in my book, “The Law of Sobriety” , which is based on the universal Law of Attraction. Three techniques that really help you stay focused on the positive energy around you even if things don’t go the way you anticipated are:

  1. Don’t try to control how positives will come into your life, just look for the opportunities that the universe provides. Controlling the process will simply block possibilities.
  2. See yourself as you want to be, not how you want to get there.
  3. Have faith and believe in your vision for yourself, don’t set a timeline or a specific date that it has to be accomplished by.
Sherry Gaba LCSW, Psychotherapist, Life & Recovery Coach is featured Celebrity Rehab on VH1. Sherry is the author of “The Law of Sobriety” which uses the law of attraction to recover from any addiction. Please download your copy of“Manifest Holistic Health” from Sherry’s Enrich Your Life Series. Contact Sherry at sherry@sgabatherapy.com for webinars, teleseminars, coaching packages and speaking engagements. 
Originally posted in 2011
photo by: Neal.

4 ways to be more loving toward yourself (and others)

For some people, recognizing one’s own positive traits, talents, gifts and attributes can be almost painful. In fact, they often cannot talk about their positives in any type of a healthy discussion. They constantly put themselves down, minimize their value as a human being and fail to see their own internal or external beauty. This is certainly true of people with addictions as I have discussed in my book, “The Law of Sobriety”. Many addicts see themselves as damaged, destroyed and dehumanized and this constant negativity about their self-image is a veil over their entire outlook on life.

With nothing but negative thoughts about yourself, it is impossible to see positives. It is also impossible to appreciate positive traits and attributes in others. When addicts recognize positive traits in others, they often start reinforcing their own negative view of themselves and perceived short fallings. In other words, negative thoughts about self create more negativity and don’t provide any positive or creative energy.

There are a few steps that you can take to honestly begin to see your positive qualities and develop a more loving relationship with yourself. These aren’t easy to implement, but with diligence and the support of positie people in your life, they can and will work.

Here are four ways to be more loving toward yourself (and others):

  1. Make a list of all the things you can do from the smallest task to the big picture.
  2. Break each of these down into the individual attributes that are required.
  3. Look at yourself in the mirror and repeat each of the positive things that you can do.
  4. Acknowledge to yourself that you can make changes in your life and state your intended positive goal for yourself at the end of your list of positive attributes.

You can download a free e-book about addiction and recovery here.  

(CC) Photo Credit: Eid Mubarak

Whitney Houston’s Death: Did Her Party Friends Have Her Back?

Whitney Houston
Before I decided to blog about the sudden and tragic death of Whitney Houston, I wanted to make sure I had my facts straight; after all, although I am a media expert, I am also a professional Psychotherapist and I value the truth.  Although, I, like everyone else did know Whitney had issues with substance abuse, we still don’t know what actually killed her.   We still don’t know if it was an accidental drowning? Was it a lethal combination of alcohol and benzodiazepines?  Was it an intentional or accidental overdose, or was it an accident?  We will all know soon enough, but sadly it doesn’t bring back the brilliantly gifted vocalist and musical legend Whitney Houston.

I have been watching the media like everyone else, and the most disturbing thing I have heard so far is her friends saying she had champagne at a party and was “just having a good time….”  Really?  They appeared to say it with no regard to the fact that Whitney has publicly expressed a history of drug and alcohol abuse.  Anyone with even a tiny bit of knowledge of addiction knows that for anyone with substance abuse past, abstinence is the goal.  Were her friends blind to that?  I doubt it.  Didn’t her staff and friends know that hanging around certain environments as she did are triggers for an addict or alcoholic?   Are they clueless that an addict can’t just have a few sips of champagne?  I don’t get it and it saddens me that once again the “enablers” were at it again doing what they do best; enabling.

Although not all celebrities who have suffered from addictions have fallen from grace as Whitney has, the bottom line is this: Friends and staff are often willing to live in as much denial as a famous addict or alcoholic lives in.  Why? It serves them — whether it is for money, fame, or the fear they might be thrown out of the celebrity’s inner circle.  No doubt there were those who supported Whitney’s recovery, but there are always those who turn a blind eye.  What about the doctors?  I saw footage of Whitney walking out of the same pharmacy days before that Michael Jackson used to fill his deadly doses of drugs.  What’s up with that?  When will it stop?

No, I don’t know how Whitney died, but it is obvious she had a history of substance abuse problems and like many have said; her death is a shock but not a surprise.  I will never forget my early adult life singing in the car to her song “Greatest Love of All”  feeling empowerment surge through my body or “I will always love you,”  thinking about my latest break up, or using my hair brush as a microphone singing “I wanna dance with somebody who loves me”.  Whitney, you brought so much joy to so many including me, and although your life was shortened way too soon, I am grateful you blessed the universe with your God like talent through music.

Sherry Gaba LCSW, Psychotherapist, Life & Recovery Coach is featured Celebrity Rehab on VH1. Sherry is the author of “The Law of Sobriety” which uses the law of attraction to recover from any addiction. Please download your  free E books at http://thelawofsobriety.com/store/   Contact Sherry at sherry@sgabatherapy.com for webinars, teleseminars, coaching packages and speaking engagements. Listen to Sherry on “A Moment of Change with Sherry Gaba”on CBS Radio

The Law of Attraction And The Placebo Effect

Most people are aware of what is known as the placebo effect. This is a phenomenon that occurs when someone is told that a pill or a medication they are taking is a cure for a health condition even though it is just a simple sugar pill with no medicinal qualities. People that believe they are taking a “cure” actually have mild to extremely positive results from taking the placebo, leading to a partial to complete cure of the condition without any real medical intervention.

The placebo effect is, in reality, the medical proof that the Law of Attraction really works. The Law of Attraction simply says that what you focus in on in your life is what you will receive. In the medical case the patients taking the placebo focused in on becoming healthy and overcoming a medical condition, which is exactly what happened. Some people believed so strongly in the effectiveness of the placebo that they were completely cured. Some people were not “cured” but they no longer focused in on the negativity in their life and their ongoing health issues, instead they became happier and more mentally healthy. This in turn led to a better quality of life that significantly improved their environment and enjoyment of the world around them.

It is essential for us all to consider the placebo effect in our physical and mental health. If we see ourselves as healthy, happy and full of life that is exactly what we will be. If, on the other hand, we see ourselves as sick, aging and declining then we will become that person. Looking for laughter, joy and beauty in the world around us is an internal attitude that we can develop on our own. Not only will it bring us joy and pleasure but it will also impact the lives of those around us, increasing their positive experiences and making the world a brighter place for all.

Sherry Gaba LCSW, Psychotherapist, Life & Recovery Coach is featured Celebrity Rehab on VH1. Sherry is the author of “The Law of Sobriety” which uses the law of attraction to recover from any addiction. Please download your copy of“Manifest Holistic Health” from Sherry’s Enrich Your Life Series. Contact Sherry at sherry@sgabatherapy.com for webinars, teleseminars, coaching packages and speaking engagements. Listen to Sherry on “A Moment of Change with Sherry Gaba”on CBS Radio

Is Your Body Ready For A Miracle? This May Be It

A male client tells his psychotherapist he is having difficulty turning his neck from side to side without experiencing excruciating pain.  Another female client reacts to a new relationship, which on the surface looks and feels good, but when her partner speaks in a certain tone to her; she feels a sense of dread in her gut.  Another client comes in carrying a baby blanket to help her feel safe from a flood of emotions too painful to ignore, but too difficult to express.  What all these clients seem to be exhibiting is a history of un-resolved trauma and emotional pain that is so debilitating, it can only be felt in their bodies, but cannot be expressed verbally.  In these types of cases, psychotherapy that accesses the bodies felt senses may be the best treatment to un-earth these chronic symptoms that many suffer from in the aftermath of intense trauma and emotional pain.  Some of these treatments include Somatic Experiencing, Whole Body Consciousness, or Psychodrama.

The different types of trauma can come from a host of past experiences such as childhood neglect or abandonment, physical, sexual, or verbal abuse, an auto accident, a divorce, a sudden death of a loved one, or even a natural disaster such as an earthquake.  Although these clients may not be able to verbalize their pain, their bodies speak for themselves.  There is a knowing that something doesn’t feel quite right.  Some of these symptoms show up later as an increased heart rate, sweating, trouble breathing, muscular tension, chronic fatigue, digestive problems, depression, or anxiety.   Some of the ways people deal with these traumatic pasts are to numb out, freeze, disassociate, or even go into denial.  This is the body’s way of protecting itself from traumatic experiences that were too severe to have been endured at the time they happened.  For example, many sexually abused individuals report an “out of body” experience when perpetuated by the abuser.  It is as if their body is there, but their mind disappears so as not to have to feel the emotional pain of the abuse.  If these body messages are not dealt with, many trauma victims turn to other ways to self soothe or self-medicate such as addictions to food, sex, drugs, alcohol, spending,  self-mutilation, and other self defeating behaviors.  Other symptoms of un-resolved trauma can stay underground for years and suddenly a major stressor erupts, and a person develops panic attacks or a feeling of being detached or dead inside.

When a person is threatened, the body stores energy to help defend against the danger, however, when the energy is not discharged properly at the time of the event, it becomes blocked in the body only to show up later when there is a life altering event in a person’s life. This is when it usually shows up as anxiety, panic attacks, or even phobias such as fear of flying or fear of driving on freeways.

Other examples of symptoms that occur when un-resolved emotional pain is not dealt with might be denial where a person acts as if an intolerable event never occurred or he or she might be drawn to situations that replicate the original childhood trauma.  For example, a person chooses a partner that is an alcoholic similar to an alcoholic parent from his or her family of origin. This type of behavior is a person’s way of unconsciously re-doing the past to get it right.  In other words, it is a coping mechanism people use to deal with un-resolved emotional pain that has not been processed.

When unresolved trauma is not worked through, individuals have difficulty setting boundaries.  When a person goes through a major traumatic event, he or she becomes disconnected from his or her body.  Therefore, he or she doesn’t know where boundaries begin or where they end.  They might let others take advantage of them because they do not know how to say “no” or become extremely co-dependent in their relationships.

The goal of body psychotherapy is to be able to begin to correlate thoughts with body sensations.  By being able to make the connection, a person learns not to respond in the usual habitual ways.  For instance, when you are triggered by a boss or a loved one, you become aware of the body sensations that are being effected and can respond appropriately versus impulsively.

There are various therapeutic methods to track the felt senses in the body.  One way to heal trapped energy or past emotional pain is to become present to your bodies sensations by noticing the subtle changes that occur when you are upset or when you feel joy.

“In somatic experiencing you initiate your own healing by re-integrating lost or fragmented positions of your essential self.” (Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma, Peter A. Levine, 1997).  This is a method by which the psychotherapist helps the client access the felt senses in the body when he shares both difficult material from the past, as well as experiences that are pleasant.

As we develop, we learn to disconnect from our body awareness through the socialization processes.  We learn to role model from parents, teachers, and other authority figures that teach us what is right and wrong.  When we begin to explore the world around us, we are told to “sit down” or “be still” when what we should be doing is exploring our environments with a sense of curiosity and excitement.  These messages encourage us to shut down losing touch with the energy force that lies within us.

“The gap between body and mind stems from programming that encourages us to be quiet and repress our feelings in the interest of being stoic and well behaved.” (What’s your body telling you? Listening to your body’s signals to stop anxiety, erase self-doubt, and achieve true wellness, Steve Sisgold, 2009).

Some examples of whole body consciousness are learning how to deep breathe, scanning the whole body for changes and witnessing the sensation as they move, meditation, or learning how to alter body positions.

When you expand your chest, you are more likely to access uplifting and positive thoughts versus shrinking your shoulders which represents a negative thought process.  In meditation, you learn to be a curious observer of your thoughts instead of trying to control them. You learn how to regulate your reactions towards yourself, others, and situations instead of acting out inappropriately.  Suddenly your relationships improve because you are no longer a victim of un-processed trauma where energy has been stagnated, but rather the energy now flows more freely and smoothly and your reactions come from a more balanced and mindful place.  You begin to be able to cope with un-comfortable situations in a more peaceful fashion making decisions from a grounded position versus not thinking things through.

Another type of body psychotherapy is psychodrama which is a type of role play that allows individuals to rework relationships with others and with themselves.  It is a way to correct distorted views of how they might have seen others.  This is done through role reversal by putting themselves in another person’s position. It allows them to feel re-empowered and restore a sense of safety where they might have felt helpless in the past.  It allows individuals to see how others might be viewing them by receiving feedback so they can change self-destructive behavior patterns.

Finally, when you learn to access your body’s innate wisdom and investigate emotions that have been repressed, you get the opportunity to un-leash un-tapped energy so that you can move more freely and easily.  By releasing deep seated pain and old wounds, you begin to feel empowered and nothing or no one will be able to hold you back from being the creative, resourceful, and brilliant person you are meant to be.

Wisdom Within The Temple Teleseminar: Accessing the Body as the Gateway to Healing  http://www.mcleanmasterworks.com/sherry-gaba/somatic/

Tips For Making Changes And Moving On From A Toxic Relationship

Moving on in life from a co-dependency situation or addiction to an unhealthy relationship takes courage, strength and positive energy. Bringing this positive energy into your life starts with seeing yourself as a strong, independent and positive person, even if this may not be just where you are at this point in your life. Seeing yourself as who you want to be not where you are right now is important to bring those positive changes into your life instead of being held back by negative thoughts, doubts and fears about the changes you are making.

Once you decide to move out of any type of toxic relationship there are some steps that you need to take. These steps will help you stay on a positive path that provides all the opportunities you will need to make the changes you desire. This path will also help you to block and release all those negative images that may have been created in a toxic relationship about your self-worth, va

lue and your ability to be independent and successful.

The following tips will assist in your journey towards a stronger, healthier and more positive you:

  1. Find an addiction therapist, life coach or relationship counselor that can work with you to understand how to think positively and see yourself as the person you want to be. This is often a very difficult thought shift and having professional help will make your path much easier.
  2. Seek interactions with kind, positive and loving people that will encourage, challenge and support you as you move on with your life. In turn get rid of the negative, repressive and harmful people that keep trying to pull you back.
  3. Don’t dwell on the past and don’t just live in the present. Look to the future and envision your life, your relationships and your entire being as the way you want to be. This is the only way to keep your path moving forward towards your desired goals and destination.
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Like Attracts Like

The Law of Attraction is a universally recognized belief in the metaphysical realm that states that “like attracts like”, or what you look for you will find. At first glance this may seem a bit serendipity or naïve, but if you stop to consider things that have occurred, both positive and negative, you will begin to see the value in recognizing and embracing this type of outlook.

In essence everything that happens in your life occurs because of a thought, which can be either a positive thought or a negative thought. Thought proceeds action and action proceeds reaction or results. The problem with most people in recovery is that they want to start with the result.   However, as I have talked about in my book “The Law of Sobriety”, the negative thoughts they hold and embrace about themselves,  keep bringing about negative actions and negative results. Instead, people that want to have positive results need to start by purging the negative thoughts that are trapping and attracting negative energy.

There are simple steps to take to start to change negative thoughts to positive thoughts that will bring about positive actions and results. If you want to start to attract positive energy and engage in positive actions try these simple thought exercises at the start of every day.

  1. Visualize a positive day. See the good things that will come your way and avoid focusing on possible barriers and obstacles that are negative.
  2. See the people around you as positive, helpful and supportive. Look for people that embody these traits and limit or avoid contact with people that are negative in their thoughts, actions and results.
  3.  See yourself as successful in your thoughts and actions. Imagine yourself as you want to be and you will find that your actions take you to that positive place. Without a positive thought process opening up your world to positive actions negativity will always hold you back.
Sherry Gaba LCSW, Psychotherapist, Life & Recovery Coach is featured Celebrity Rehab on VH1. Sherry is the author of “The Law of Sobriety” which uses the law of attraction to recover from any addiction. Please download your copy of “Manifest Holistic Health” from Sherry’s Enrich Your Life Series. Contact Sherry at sherry@sgabatherapy.com for webinars, teleseminars, coaching packages and speaking engagements. Listen to Sherry on “A Moment of Change with Sherry Gaba”on CBS Radio.


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