Tag Archives: behavior

Deepak Chopra: Can We Influence Our Own Evolution?

Is evolution a complex process that we have nothing to do with, or is there any way we can actually influence our own evolution? In this episode of “Ask Deepak” on The Chopra Well, Deepak explores how can we influence human evolution as well as the evolution of the cosmos.

Our feelings, thoughts, perceptions, cognition, internal mental activity, and behavior changes in every moment. The neural architecture of our brain responds to both internal and external reactions which we create through our own choices. Thus, as we think, feel and emote – we affect the expression of our genes and expression of genes in others. Your genes are activated right now watching this video, and we are influencing each other, and thus, in a sense, influencing evolution.

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8 Tips To Get Along With Difficult People

Screen Shot 2013-04-30 at 10.39.13 PMFrom an evolutionary standpoint human survival has always depended on our ability to get along with others. Staying together and cooperating while hunting, cultivating crops, protecting each other from physical danger or supporting one another emotionally and creating social contracts is a necessity. Because it is human nature to transgress against the people closest to us, reconciliation must follow. Note that according to positive movement researchers like Dr. Martin Seligman, unresolved conflict, particularly in families and close friends, can cause physical illness as well as depression and anxiety. Plain and simple: Your happiness and well-being depend on your ability to get along with other people. You will live longer and experience greater life quality.

Is there someone like a family member, friend or colleague with whom you can repair a bridge?

* Learn to emote, rather than suppress anger, and get over anger quickly.
In other words don’t spin your wheels, but drive full speed ahead.  Laboratory experiments have shown that even subtle forms of anger weaken problem solving abilities and overall competence. Anger narrows and paralyzes your mental focus, tending to eclipse options. Get past the sticking point and remove that stinger!

* Change the story. It’s human nature to create stories about everything – even in situations where we don’t really know the facts, or details or remember what really happened. We fill in the details blurring the lines between fact and fiction. However, note that subjective stories change according to your changing life situation. The more self-confident you are, the kinder your interpretation. And kindness, generosity of spirit, fortifies your self-worth, enabling you to create more positive stories. You will get into a positive loop.

* Examine your self-talk. Do you lean to the positive or the negative? If you speak to yourself negatively, you will do that to others. Are you angry at yourself for allowing yourself to get so angry or hurt?

* Expand your mind. Can you open up to a differing opinion?

* Know that ranting at someone rarely improves behavior; instead it usually fuels the other person’s anger.

* Empathize to cool down anger. Understand what someone else is feeling while you maintain your own separate emotions. Bringing out the best in others neutralizes tension. When you understand the needs of another, you lose your anger and regain a vital connection.

* Accept the no-apology possibility. Even if others don’t profusely apologize, renounce their transgressions, and vow to make amends, you can still let go by reframing the story. When you reframe the story, make sure to go from victim to victor.

* Instead of dwelling on who is wrong and what was done to you, you can redirect your thoughts to: How can I let this go? I have better things to think about.

 

Photo credit: greekadman/Flickr

Article originally published on August 31, 2011.

You Are Who You Are When No One Is Looking

By Betsy Brown Braun

The mother unwrapped the straw, poked it into the little box, and handed the drink to her toddler as they walked out of the grocery store. The sliver of straw paper slipped from the mother’s hand. I doubt that she even noticed it.

Rolling my grocery cart back to its stable, I looked around to see how many carts were randomly parked, willy-nilly throughout the lot, nowhere near the stable. Who leaves her cart to roll into the next parked car?

Since my greatest interest and life’s work centers on parents and kids, the world is my lab. I notice random acts, relationships, and interactions wherever I go. Observing, noticing, gathering data, storing information, wondering: that’s me. Today at the grocery store, I couldn’t help but think about where and how children learn to do the right thing, to make the right choices. Of course, “right” means different things to different people, but I’m thinking of generally accepted right. The answer is kind of complicated, but not really.

To do the right thing, children have to do the wrong thing. Sounds crazy, but it’s true. Much of growing up is trial and error, testing limits and boundaries. Do it wrong, experience the consequence, then do it right the next time. At least, you hope it works that way. That’s certainly one of the ways kids figure out what is the right thing to do.

However, even without actively teaching your children, they learn from you because they copy you. Think about the things that you automatically do because that’s the way you’ve always done it. There is the great old tale of the mother who is preparing her Thanksgiving turkey with her adult daughter. The daughter asks, “Mom, why do you always cut off the end of turkey before you put it in the roaster?” The mother, who has no answer, knowing only that she cut it because her mother had always done so, calls her own mother. “Mom,” she asks, “Why do we always cut off the end of the turkey before putting it in the roaster?” The grandmother replies, “So it will fit in my roaster.”

Over and over, I remind parents that your kids are watching you all the time. It’s about how you live your life every day. If you ALWAYS hang up the clothes you tried on before you leave the store dressing room, the habit will become your child’s too. If you ALWAYS put your trash in the wastebasket, your child will do the same. If grocery shopping ALWAYS ends by returning your cart to the stable, not doing so won’t be a choice. Behaviors, right and wrong, become automatic when they are habitual. And so it will be for your absorbent child. Doing the right thing has a good chance of becoming ingrained in him, whether or not you are there watching.

Are you a person who does the right thing when no one is looking? If your answer is yes, then it’s likely you’re teaching your child to do the same.


Betsy Brown Braun is the bestselling author of the award-winning Just Tell Me What to Say (HarperCollins 2008), and You’re Not the Boss of Me (HarperCollins, 2010), a bestseller in its fourth printing. A renowned child development and behavior specialist, popular parent educator, and mother of adult triplets, she is a frequent speaker at educational and business conferences, has been a guest expert on Today, the Early Show, Good Morning America, Fox News, Fox and Friends, Dr. Phil, Entertainment Tonight, Rachel Ray, and NPR and has been cited in USA Today, the New York Times, Family Circle, Parents, Parenting, Woman’s Day, Real Simple, and Good Housekeeping, among countless other publications and websites. For more on Betsy, please visit her website or follow her on Facebook and Twitter.

*Photo by neonzu1.

What Should Investors Do Now?

With everything happening over the past few weeks, it is easy to find yourself unsettled.  The unbelievable tragedy in Japan, the earthquake, tsunami, and nuclear emergency.  The situation in Libya and the Middle East.  Continuing economic stress.  The list goes on…..

But for every one of those disturbing events, there are great things happening as well.  The outpouring of aid to Japan, the coming together of people to help each other (not just globally, but local and one-to-one), the many acts of human kindness and the heroic actions of those trying to prevent a nightmare at a series of nuclear reactors are the tip of the iceberg of positive events.

So perhaps we need to maintain our focus on the areas we control.  Those much closer to home.  With that in mind, here’s a video with the title, What Should Investors Do Now?  Don’t worry, it doesn’t contain a solicitation and actually doesn’t really focus on money.  Why should it?  Money is not your life, or at least it shouldn’t be.  Maybe, just maybe, it is life we should choose as our focus.

www.wholeinvestor.com/video.html

This most recent video is from my new podcast, Getting There.  I would love your opinion of the message and I hope it helps you.  We sometimes refer to people by what they do, for example, soccer mom, suit, or investor.  In reality, whatever label can be assigned, the only accurate one is human.  We are all human, and that ain’t necessarily a bad thing, is it?

The next video is about perspective.  And the first video in the series is a thought provoking look at how we look at time versus money.  All three videos are located at the link above.  Enjoy, and feel free to let me know if they help you or someone you know!

Evolution and predatory characteristics

Evolution and predatory characteristics

  

We evolve in many spheres biological, sociological, psychological etc, in these different contexts our thinking our way of conceptualizing ideas too evolve over a period of time….

We were once predators who hunted down our food… but then we became hunter gatherers and farmers etc, till our social spheres differentiated us into different roles so that most of us could just buy our food from the supermarket….

Along with these evolutionary processes some of us may have lost our predatory instincts in order to perform other tasks and functions…that is necessary to achieve the civilizational status that we have achieved today, for example tasks that involve healing etc, where time and energy to hunt is limited…

Yet these predatory processes may have been preserved in some, depending on the roles they have been playing in the current civilization…

Do you think we should continue to preserve such psychological characteristics consciously in our journey of evolution…?

If so what is the role you see for such characteristics…?

Is it possible to move forward without cultivating such psychological characteristics…?

If so how..?

LET

LET’S TALK ABOUT MEN…..and Relationships

 

LET’S TALK ABOUT MEN…..and Relationships

 

Are you feeling confused, frustrated or
hopeless in your relationship?

 

Do relationship “patterns” seem to show up
sooner or later with each new man?

 

Is there some hidden secret in relationship
you do not know about?

 

Do you really believe love is enough?

 

Relationships are a LIFE classroom.

 

Everything must change, including our beliefs about relating.

 

 

I have been working in the Human Potential Field for 40 years. During these years the greatest teachers are my students, clients and couples. I am going to share with you, what I have learned from hundred’s of sessions with couples seeking to improve their relationships. You will NOT find this guidance in any book.

 

Relating is the key to life.

  • 70 trillion cells in your body are relating to each other – whether you know it or not
  • Your mind and heart are constantly relating and activating biochemical responses in your body, whether you know it or not
  • Your energy, attitude and behavior is relating with everyone around you, and theirs with you, whether you know it or not

 

Balance is the key to relating.

Nature knows!!! Life is about balance. Your heart knows about balance and is a master guide in life choices that create inner and outer balance.

 

Your mind is trained to be “in reaction”…that is not balance, and this defies your heart’s innate design to BE IN BALANCE!!!

 

In these two classes, we are going to create foundational measurements for you to use to discover “who’s is in charge” – your mind or your heart?

 

When you know this, you can “course correct” your thinking, your choices, your behavior and actions and focus and obtain balance.

 

During our class, I will present information and then we will have a Q&A session as well.

 

Men are welcome to join this class.

 

The class has a maximum number so register now at:

 

http://globalfamilyeducation.com/payment-center/

 

Class One: Saturday, March 6 11:00 AM – 12:30 PM

 

Class Two: Saturday, March 13 11:00 AM – !2:30 PM

 

 

Tuition: $150

 

 

My gift to you at

$99

REGISTER HERE NOW!!


This class is recorded so you can register and join in at your convenience, even if you are not on the live call.  All registrants will receive an MP3 file for downloading the class information.

  

 

Class time based on PST:

 

11:00 AM PST

12:00 PM MST

1:00 PM CST

2:00 PM EST

9:00 AM HI

10:00 AM AK

 

 

If in doubt, check your local time zone.


When you are registered we will send you the Teleconference Number and the access code for the classes along with any other class details we want you to have.

 

I look forward to our time together.

 

Blessings to you,

 

 

Kay Snow-Davis

Soul Purpose Academy
Global Family Education Center

Owning Your Tendencies: Understanding All Sides

Whenever we examine our lives, we examine them from a particular side or angle. Most of us tend to favor one side over the others. For example, we may tend to look at things from an emotional perspective rather than a financial perspective, or we may prefer to think in terms of details rather than the big picture, or vice versa. To a certain degree, this is not a problem, and these tendencies add color to our individual personalities. However, they can also make us one-sided, blind to the many other ways of looking at our situation. Even if we have decided that we are most happy when we focus on one particular side of things, it is always worth exploring the other sides. When we do, we become well rounded, more understanding of other viewpoints, and even more solid in our own.

Perhaps you are a person who tends to see your life in terms of your spiritual well-being. As a result, other concerns such as financial comfort or social standing may not be prominent in your mind as you make decisions. However, taking just a moment to consider those angles will help you in several ways. One, it will enable you to see more clearly what your priorities are and how they influence your life situation. Two, it will enhance your sense of confidence, because you will see your situation from all sides, even as you choose one. And three, it will help you communicate with others about who you are and what you are doing, because you will come from a place of understanding that your own biases and tendencies are unique as are theirs.

Most of us instinctively come at things from a particular angle, and in many cases this is the right way for us. Still, understanding the other angles only strengthens us. When we look at our lives from all sides, we shed light on the big picture, giving ourselves access to many points of view and highlighting more clearly the one we have chosen to take.

God’s Dictionary: Confidence

                                                                                               Confidence

                                                                                               con- = with
                                                                                                        +
                                                                                             -fidere = trust

Confidence is that elusive quality we all recognize in others, often seek for ourselves, and deeply wonder how to acquire. Confidence has a mystique around it. We can even smell it, and certainly we can sense when someone doesn’t have it.

Confidence is actually a mode of behavior. The word itself is a clue to the process of creating self-confidence. It requires that we behave with trust. Trust in what? Actually, the better question is: trust in whom? The answer is so obvious that it can whiff us.

The rabbis of old tell the story that each person carries a divine spark, an ember of G-d, within us. If we base our behavioral choices on the notion that we act with trust in the Divine Spark within us, we create self-confidence.

It has been said that “God don’t make junk.” If Divinity created all that is, this has to include you, too. All that’s required for confidence is trust in your Divine Spark. Ask: How can I act with trust in my own Divinity today?

Infinition:
Truly, a Divine Spark animates my very being. Starting right now, I take all my cues for behavior from that Spark, and I act with trust in myself.

reprinted from God’s Dictionary (Tarcher/Putnam 2002)

 

For more divine definitions, visit the blog God’s Dictionary

Controlling Behavior: Allowing Others to Be

We all know what it’s like to want to be in control. In some ways, exerting control is an important survival skill. For example, we have every right to be in control of our own bodies and our own lives. Taking control in these cases is empowering and necessary. Controlling behavior in the negative sense comes from a tendency to reach beyond our own boundaries and into the lives of others. Many people do this with the rationalization that they are helping. This can happen with parents who are still trying to force their grown children into behaving in ways that they find acceptable. It can also happen when people try to control their partners’ behavior. If you have control issues, you will see that in one or more areas of your life, you feel the need to interfere with what is happening rather than just allowing events to unfold.

Almost everyone has at least one situation or relationship in which they try to exert control. This often happens because someone’s behavior makes us uncomfortable. We may feel it makes us look bad, or it embarrasses us. For example, if your best friend tends to drink too much, you might spend an entire party just trying to prevent her from doing so. This is different from directly confronting her about the problem and allowing her to decide what she should do. Controlling behavior generally goes hand in hand with an unwillingness to be direct about what you want, as well as an inability to let go and let people live their own lives. If you are the one that is controlling, it’s probably because you literally feel as if you are out of control and it scares you. Try to pick one thing you could just let unfold without any control on your part. Examine how it made you feel both before and after, and examine why you wanted to control the situation.

It is hard sometimes to allow others to be who they are, especially if we feel we know what’s best for them and we see them making choices we wouldn’t make. However, if we are to be respectful and truly loving, we have to let people go, trusting that they will find their own way in their own time and understanding that it is their life to live. Just reminding yourself that the only life you have to live is your own is the first step to letting go.

For more inspiration, visit DailyOM.

I intend to help parents bring out the best in their intense children, restoring sanity to families.

I am a parent coach who works one-on-one with parents whose children have behavior that doesn’t improve with typical methods.  Kids who have ADHD, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, Autism, Reactive Attachment Disorder, Giftedness, or those who don’t have a diagnosis, can benefit from the Present Moment Parenting I teach.  I invite parents of children of all ages to contact me.  I work with parents from anywhere in the English-speaking world on the phone or with Skype.  In the Twin Cities, it can be in person in my office in Roseville.  Visit www.nurturedheart.com for further information. 

I did a Supernanny segment with KARE 11 TV.  Click on it on my home page to see how my methods work with real people. 

My passion is bringing profound healing to the primary relationship between parent and child.  I am entirely inspired by the improvements I see parents make, in a very short time! 

 

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