Tag Archives: better sex

How To Overcome Inhibitions and Revel in Sexual Intimacy

I have traveled all over the world to lecture on love, relationships, romance and sexuality and one of the universal similarities we all have in common are inhibitions. They are self-imposed restrictions on one’s behavior and they come from our subconscious mind. Our mind is predisposed to the way we were raised so it’s not surprising that many people have inhibitions based upon negative influences, repression and societal restraints on sexual behavior.

For example, many women suffer from the “good girl syndrome” because they were taught that only “bad girls” will do a striptease for their lover, masturbate, give oral, have anal or even initiate sex when they want it. Women are often raised with shame and guilt about their body so they are inhibited about the size or shape of their breasts, the look and smell of their vagina, losing control during orgasm and of course asking for what they want in bed.

Male inhibitions are different but can be just as unhealthy. For example, many men were taught not to show their feelings because it’s a sign of weakness. Men are inhibited about the size of their penis because they’ve been taught that size does matter, some men think that a woman’s vagina should smell like spring flowers or autumn rain, men hate asking for directions so why would they ever ask their lover what pleases them? Apparently a man should know what a woman wants and so the list of inhibitions goes on.

It’s no wonder so many couples are sexually frustrated. If you can’t talk about what turns you on, then you can’t expect your lover to read your mind. After all, you wouldn’t dream of not telling a waiter how you like your steak cooked because you don’t want to ruin a good piece of meat, then why would you risk the demise of a good relationship by not talking about what you want in bed?

The best solution that I’ve found for overcoming any inhibition is to simply face it. It is my belief that you will always have regrets if you don’t overcome obstacles. A life with regrets is a life that has not fully been realized, experienced and enjoyed. If you can shed your inhibitions with the one you love, you will find a much stronger connection in your relationship. On the same note, if you can shed your inhibitions with yourself, you will have the opportunity to discover and explore parts of you that you may never have known existed.

Breaking Down the Walls
Becoming totally open and aware of your likes and dislikes is the first step to breaking down inhibition walls that may be standing in your way of experiencing complete intimate gratification. It can also help you to trust yourself and others on a level that maybe you have never imagined. When you know yourself and feel confident in what you expect of yourself and others, doors you may have never even known were there can open. Once new doors open, you then have more choices and the opportunity to expand your personal
horizons.

Every day we wake up and most of us have a daily routine that we are used to and essentially play out as if it were the script to our life. Although this script has become our comfort zone, is one that we have memorized and followed, when we are engrossed in that routine it can pigeonhole us and in some cases rob us of a life filled with adventure, intrigue, and experience. Part of discovering and releasing inhibitions can offer an opportunity for to veer off that beaten path and just for a while escape from an everyday
redundant routine. This is your chance to write your own script through direct knowledge of what makes you feel happy and excited. Break down the walls of predictability, make some positive changes and empower yourself because you are in control.

Boundaries
Boundaries empower us to determine how we’ll be treated by others so define your sexual and emotional boundaries by limiting what is safe and appropriate for you sexually and emotionally. For example, a sexual boundary could be that you don’t have intercourse on a first date and you never have intercourse without a condom. An emotional boundary could be that you never say, “I love you” to someone unless you really mean it. Boundaries also include who we interact with sexually and the consequences of that interaction both of which are your choices. Having boundaries can bring order to our lives and as we have a clear vision of our boundaries we can overcome our inhibitions too.

Just like inhibitions, boundaries are formed early on and we learn about them by the way that we are treated. We can teach our boundaries to others by refusing to hug someone, refusing to go all the way sexually or refusing to be emotionally abused by someone who is calling us names and being disrespectful. Once you allow someone to step over your personal boundaries, this is called boundary violation and it can become an endless cycle of emotional and physical pain. Consequently, I encourage everyone to set their own boundaries through self-awareness and knowledge. Here are some tips on how to accomplish that:

  • Be aware of what arouses you
  • Be knowledgeable about your body and its biological changes
  • Give yourself permission to surrender to pleasure because you are worthy of it
  • Take responsibility for your own orgasm; don’t expect someone to give it to you
  • Share your sexual turn ons with your lover
  • Communicate your wants, needs, desires and fears with your lover
  • Share your fantasies with your lover

This is an excerpt from The Loveologist Guide to Inhibitions by Dr. Ava Cadell. Visit The Loveology University Bookstore to find a wealth of resources, including e-books and audiobooks, to help you have a richer and more fulfilling sex life.

photo by: charliehey

Tantra Games for Lovers

Tantra is a Sanskrit (ancient Hindu language) word that means to weave energy, specifically Yin (female) and Yang (male) energy, between two lovers.  This energy includes our thoughts, feelings, physical, and sexual actions.

I’d like to welcome you to a unique journey of sensual and sexual exploration that will prepare you for the 5000 year old practice of Tantra. Tantra can improve intimate communication and enhance a relationship that has lost its sizzle and spice.

For women, Tantra can empower and fulfill their sensual needs;
For men it can open up a whole new world to intimacy.
For couples, it’s an opportunity to create a more meaningful, intimate, and spiritual connection.

Read the rest of this article here: Tantra Games for Lovers

End 2009 on a High Note: Enrich Your Intimate Relationship

Lack of communication is like a car without fuel. You still have the car, but it isn’t going to go anywhere.
One of the biggest turn-ons that both men and women have in common is communication. If you are the
world’s best lover but cannot communicate your ideas, feelings and needs, you are less likely to enjoy great
sex. When communication is great, sex is great too.


THINGS TO REMEMBER

  • Always communicate your needs and wants positively to your partner.
  • Share words of appreciation together.
  • Compliment your partner physically and emotionally.
  • Show a verbal interest in your partner’s feelings.
  • Use a tone of voice that displays sensual character.
  • Use both sounds and words of pleasure.

WHAT TO AVOID

  • Never rate your partner’s lovemaking skill.
  • Don’t blame your lover for lack of creativity.
  • Don’t criticize your partner during lovemaking.
  • Don’t talk about problems or anything negative during lovemaking.
  • Never compare your lover to another.
  • Don’t say anything you know you’ll regret later.

Every day, set aside 15 minutes of quality communication time with your partner, preferably before you go to sleep, remembering and avoiding the things noted above.

Putting a Touch of Romance in your life is a wonderful way to show your partner that you are interested, that you want to be romantic and intimate. So, initiate a romantic date then let your lover plan the next one. There are many places to go, but it’s up to you to make it romantic.

FOR EXAMPLE:

  • Go out for a nice dinner. Afterward, take a walk on the beach.
  • Go camping.
  • Go to the beach to watch the sunset. Make sure you take a blanket, a nice bottle of wine, and some
    strawberries.
  • Go to the park. Bring a blanket and a romance novel and take turns reading to each other.
    Surprise your partner by renting a hotel room with a Jacuzzi. Don’t forget to bring some fine wine,
    scented candles, soothing bubble bath, and some toys for after your bath.
  • Prepare a romantic evening at home. Cook an exotic light dinner. Have your favorite wine available
    and dance to your favorite music.

STIMULATE AT LEAST ONE YOUR SENSES USING ONE OF THE FOLLOWING:

  • Sight – Candle, a sexy movie, lingerie or flowers
  • Sound – Music, an erotic audio or indulge in sex talk
  • Smell – Scented candles, fragrance or Incense
  • Touch – Satin sheets, feathers, lotions or oils
  • Taste – Ice, honey, whipped cream or chocolate
  • Make plans to have a romantic date at least once a week.

Share memories of the romantic things you did when you first met. Re-experience at least one activity you both enjoyed at that time. This is an excerpt from Passion Power Love Workbook by Dr. Ava Cadell, Ph.D., Ed.D. Visit Dr. Ava’s bookstore at Loveology University — http://www.loveologyuniversity.com/BookStore.aspx?a_aid=sward

Love Coaching is Next Step For Life Coaches

We’ve all heard about the success of Life Coaching in areas of business and finances, but here’s the revolution, the ultimate in coaching; Love Coaching.

Dr. Ava Cadell, renowned media therapist, author, love and relationship expert is now certifying Loveologists and Love Coaches through her online University at www.loveologyuniversity.com

Love Coaching is a Love Coach you hire to help assist you with your personal development, in the area of achieving specific goals in love, dating, relationships, romance, intimacy and sexuality.

What you may not know is that there is a direct correlation to success in business and success in love and the healthiest relationships at home are the most productive at work. Life Coaches are qualified to assist you to reach your business and productivity goals, but not your intimate relationship goals. There are strong parallels between Life Coaching and Love Coaching, both offer powerful coaching strategies, but the expertise of a Love Coach can help you to find love, become a better lover and enrich your love life by expanding your romantic and sexual horizons.

Here is a short self-assessment of your love life. Answer the following questions and determine for yourself if you can benefit from Love Coaching. For each question – are you very happy, dissatisfied, content, satisfied or very happy.

  • Self Love
  • Dating
  • Romance
  • Communication
  • Intimacy
  • Sexual Fulfillment

Categories marked as “Very Unhappy” means that you could benefit from working with a Love Coach to help you improve the quality of your love life.

Categories marked as “Dissatisfied” or even “Content” means that there is still room for improvement and you should consider working with a Love Coach so that you don’t end up being “Very Unhappy.”

If you checked “Very Happy" in all categories, you have a happy and healthy love relationship. You would make a great “Love Coach” who could help others empower themselves, find and maintain the love they want in their lives.

As a Love Coach, you can share your knowledge from Loveology University’s expansive curriculum. You’ll be qualified to customize individual client’s needs, listen and observe, offer guidance, and help them to make plans, encourage and applaud their efforts, but also hold them accountable for their actions.

Currently, there are thousands Life Coaches worldwide. Just imagine how millions of Love Coaches all helping people could change the vibration of this planet!

Love Coaching vs. Counseling (Therapy)

Love Coaching is an evolution of Life Coaching and has absolutely nothing to do with Mental Health Therapy. In fact it is imperative that Love Coaches refer serious cases to appropriate resources, be it Gynecologists, Urologists, Psychiatrists, Therapists, Counselors, Sexologists, Social workers, etc.,

The Certification for a Loveologist is not to be confused with the qualifications of a Licensed Therapist, Marriage Counselor or Clinical Sexologist. Counselors and Therapists are trained to examine the patient’s long life history, from childhood until the present, and could take years to treat. Their schooling consists of many years of University and specialty training involved in particular fields of study. A typical Counselor or Therapist may spend 4 to 5 years earning a Bachelor’s degree, and then spend another 2 or 3 years acquiring a Master’s degree in a specified interest of focus. Once completed, they continue to train and must do 3000 intern hours in order to open up their own private practice where they can diagnose and treat psychological illnesses. The money spent may cost anywhere from $10,000 – $100,000 and there is no guarantee that they’ll make back the money they invested.

A Certified Loveologist and Love Coach will train anywhere from one month to one year to receive their certification, designed to teach students based solely from Loveology University’s curriculum of eBooks, videos, audios, slide shows and related materials. As a Loveologist, you are not able to diagnose or treat any sort of illness or disease, but you can help guide clients to enrich their relationships in person, on the phone, over the internet or in workshops and seminars. Once certified, continuing education training and seminars are very similar, if not directly, the same as for a Marriage Family Therapist or Social Worker would receive. However, your total investment is under $2,000.00.

You don’t need to have experience as a therapist or counselor to become a Love Coach, but you do need to be willing to learn, listen and expand your own horizon because it takes devotion and a commitment to help and empower others. The Loveology coaching course is self-paced, so you can take your final exam as soon as you feel that you are ready.

If you have the desire to empower yourself, enrich your relationship or become a Love Coach, then Loveology University will give you the knowledge and the tools to make your dream a reality.

If you want to find Mr. or Mrs. Right, if you want to become a better lover or enrich your relationship, whether you’re single, dating, in a relationship or married, gay, bi or straight, you can get Love Coaching in person, by phone or e-mail with one of our Certified Loveologists and Love Coaches at www.loveologyuniversity.com

Love Coaching is the EVOLUTION of Life Coaching that helps you to EVOLVE the role that LOVE plays in your LIFE.

Dr Ava, Love Coach and Founder of Loveology University

www.loveologyuniversity.com

 

The Three Levels of Communication

Communication in a relationship is like fuel in a car.  If you don’t have fuel, you still have a car but it’s not going anywhere.  If you don’t have communication, you still have a relationship but it’s not going anywhere. In this article, The Three Levels of Communication — https://www.loveologyuniversity.com/LUPages/ThreeLevelsofCommunication.aspx — author, media therapist, and loveologist Dr. Ava Cadell discusses thre three levels of communication needed for deepening intimacy. Dr. Ava talks openly about all aspects of love and sexuality in her radio show, Sex Drive — http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=erm7m-_Zx-4 — which airs four days a week. For more information, visit Loveology University — http://www.loveologyuniversity.com?a_aid=sward.

The Big ‘O’ In Search of the Ultimate Orgasm

According to author, media therapist, and renowned loveologist Dr. Ava Cadell, "As humans we are always in search of the ultimate orgasm whether it’s with our soul mate, a one night stand, a bottle of booze, or mind altering drugs.  It is our second basic instinct after self-preservation.  So why are we seeking that euphoric, mind-blowing, earth shattering, energy melting orgasm?"

Read the rest of the article here — https://www.loveologyuniversity.com/LUPages/TheBigO.aspx>, and learn about different kinds of orgasms and different ways to achieve them. Dr. Ava talks openly about all aspects of love and sexuality in her radio show, Sex Drive — http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=erm7m-_Zx-4 — which airs four days a week. Visit Loveology University — http://www.loveologyuniversity.com?a_aid=sward — for more information.
 

12 Tips for Better Sex

Not only is sex fun and exciting – it’s healthy.  "Sexercise" your body and see the benefits.Are you tired of waiting in line to use the barbells?  Is the treadmill tearing up your kneecaps?  Does that personal trainer show no mercy – no pain, no gain?  Tone muscles, improve your health, and give your body a boost with Dr. Ava Cadell’s 12 Sexercise Tips — https://www.loveologyuniversity.com/LUPages/12TipstoGreatSex.aspx?a_aid=sward

Dr. Ava is a renowned loveologist, author and media therapist. She talks openly about all aspects of love and sexuality in her radio show, Sex Drive — a href="a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=erm7m-_Zx-4, which airs four days a week. Visit Loveology University — http://www.loveologyuniversity.com?a_aid=sward — for more information.

Love Coach – The Next Evolution of the Life Coach

We’ve all heard about the success of Life Coaching in areas of business and finances, but here’s the revolution, the ultimate in coaching; Love Coaching.

Dr. Ava Cadell, renowned media therapist, author, love and relationship expert is now certifying Loveologists and Love Coaches through her online University at www.loveologyuniversity.com

Love Coaching is a Love Coach you hire to help assist you with your personal development, in the area of achieving specific goals in love, dating, relationships, romance, intimacy and sexuality.

What you may not know is that there is a direct correlation to success in business and success in love and the healthiest relationships at home are the most productive at work. Life Coaches are qualified to assist you to reach your business and productivity goals, but not your intimate relationship goals. There are strong parallels between Life Coaching and Love Coaching, both offer powerful coaching strategies, but the expertise of a Love Coach can help you to find love, become a better lover and enrich your love life by expanding your romantic and sexual horizons.

As a Love Coach, you can share your knowledge from Loveology University’s expansive curriculum. You’ll be qualified to customize individual client’s needs, listen and observe, offer guidance, and help them to make plans, encourage and applaud their efforts, but also hold them accountable for their actions.

Currently, there are thousands Life Coaches worldwide. Just imagine how millions of Love Coaches all helping people could change the vibration of this planet!

Love Coaching vs. Counseling (Therapy)

Love Coaching is an evolution of Life Coaching and has absolutely nothing to do with Mental Health Therapy. In fact it is imperative that Love Coaches refer serious cases to appropriate resources, be it Gynecologists, Urologists, Psychiatrists, Therapists, Counselors, Sexologists, Social workers, etc.,

The Certification for a Loveologist is not to be confused with the qualifications of a Licensed Therapist, Marriage Counselor or Clinical Sexologist. Counselors and Therapists are trained to examine the patient’s long life history, from childhood until the present, and could take years to treat. Their schooling consists of many years of University and specialty training involved in particular fields of study. A typical Counselor or Therapist may spend 4 to 5 years earning a Bachelor’s degree, and then spend another 2 or 3 years acquiring a Master’s degree in a specified interest of focus. Once completed, they continue to train and must do 3000 intern hours in order to open up their own private practice where they can diagnose and treat psychological illnesses. The money spent may cost anywhere from $10,000 – $100,000 and there is no guarantee that they’ll make back the money they invested.

A Certified Loveologist and Love Coach will train anywhere from one month to one year to receive their certification, designed to teach students based solely from Loveology University’s curriculum of eBooks, videos, audios, slide shows and related materials. As a Loveologist, you are not able to diagnose or treat any sort of illness or disease, but you can help guide clients to enrich their relationships in person, on the phone, over the internet or in workshops and seminars. Once certified, continuing education training and seminars are very similar, if not directly, the same as for a Marriage Family Therapist or Social Worker would receive. However, your total investment is under $2,000.00.

You don’t need to have experience as a therapist or counselor to become a Love Coach, but you do need to be willing to learn, listen and expand your own horizon because it takes devotion and a commitment to help and empower others. The Loveology coaching course is self-paced, so you can take your final exam as soon as you feel that you are ready.

If you have the desire to empower yourself, enrich your relationship or become a Love Coach, then Loveology University will give you the knowledge and the tools to make your dream a reality.

If you want to find Mr. or Mrs. Right, if you want to become a better lover or enrich your relationship, whether you’re single, dating, in a relationship or married, gay, bi or straight, you can get Love Coaching in person, by phone or e-mail with one of our Certified Loveologists and Love Coaches at www.loveologyuniversity.com

Love Coaching is the EVOLUTION of Life Coaching that helps you to EVOLVE the role that LOVE plays in your LIFE.

Dr Ava, Love Coach and Founder of Loveology University

www.loveologyuniversity.com

 

The Art of Kissing

Kissing is one of the most intimate acts of sex (yes, its sex when you exchange bodily fluids and that includes kissing) which is why I call it “facial intercourse,” a phrase I often like to use in my seminars.

What you may not know about kissing is that there is now scientific evidence that long, wet, deep, passionate kissing can stimulate the same type of brain activity as high risk sports activities such as bungee jumping. The feelings of anticipation and excitement from both activities cause the brain to release feel good endorphins and neurotransmitters (chemicals) like Dopamine, whose targeted actions includes voluntary movement and emotional arousal and Noradrenaline for wakefulness and physical arousal.

Drugs like Speed and Amphetamines that suppress appetite and enhance performance create similar feelings to the natural endorphins your body releases during passionate kissing and sports. Unlike when you’re rock climbing, speed skiing, or parachuting, when you kiss someone you have incredible chemistry with, your brain sends messages to your body that creates physical changes and sensations resulting in arousal; and if you move from kissing to caressing, oral sex, intercourse, and orgasm, your body will go through five stages of a sexual response cycle.

Masters and Johnson described the sexual response cycle as having four stages in the 1960’s when they studied over 10,000 response cycles: Excitement, Plateau, Orgasm and Resolution. I personally believe there are actually five cycles, especially for women, the first being foreplay.

Cycle #1 – Foreplay

Most people I know like to be prepared for sex whether it’s with a kiss, caress, or hearing about what’s to come (excuse the pun). Foreplay creates sexual anticipation and releases feel-good endorphins and it gets the blood flowing towards the genitals.

Cycle #2 – Excitement

One of the major physical responses to excitement is known as Vasocongestion, which is when blood flow increases to the genital tissues, breasts, and nipples. A woman’s breasts swell and her nipples become erect, she is lubricated, and she becomes much more sensitive to her lover’s touch. His increased blood flows to the genitals. Blood pressure rises, heartbeat and breathing quicken, and the body becomes more sensitive to touch.

Cycle #3 – Plateau

Body temperature continues to rise and changes the color of her inner labia to an intense rosy red. Her body becomes more flexible to make intercourse more pleasurable and his body shows his excitement.

Cycle #4 – Orgasm

Breathing, blood pressure, and heart rate increases as muscle tension is building to a peak.

Cycle #5 – Resolution

This is when the body goes back to its normal pre-arousal state. Swelling in the genitals and other areas decrease. Muscles relax and organs and tissues resume their original positions. Heart beat and breathing slows down and some men feel so relaxed that they just want to go to sleep while women want to cuddle…but that’s another story!

For a woman, to empower her sexually and for a man to become multi-orgasmic, play The Tantric Game for Lovers and experience new sexual heights of pleasures.

Would you like to learn more about the Science and the Art of Kissing? Would you like to be certified in kissing?

 

For much more information – http://www.loveologyuniversity.com/ShortCourseDetails.aspx?CourseID=23

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