There are a number of things that are annoying about our present day pop culture and what is considered "news worthy". I don’t particularly believe Kate Gosselin appearing on Dancing With the Stars is necessarily an appropriate piece for a "Parenting" headline nor do I care to hear anymore about Lindsay Lohan’s career woes. But I’m not here to try to stop the public’s insatiable appetite for shallow, star struck escapism or go as far as to say you’ll never catch me lackadaisically flipping through an issue of US Weekly at the nail salon because, let’s face it, sometimes it takes a while for your toes to dry.
I’m just here is just to throw an idea out there, you know, into the universe and hope it is well received.
Can we all just stop talking about all these celebrity dudes cheating?!
That’s it! That’s really all I want. Yes, keep plastering photos of Lady Gaga’s latest getup for a nineteen hour flight. I’ll take Justin Bieber smiling at me from every check out at the market. Heck, I will even stomach Heidi Montag’s boobs but for the love of LOLCats can we please stop talking about Tiger, Jesse, Dave, Jon and every other jerk-off who is ruining his marriage in the limelight?!
First of all, it is so incredibly disrespectful to the soon to be ex-wives. Take the most painful experience of life and imagine everyone not only knowing about it and talking about it but also publishing their opinions on it. Take that and put it on top of the already excruciating process of divorce, which can be messy and take months to finalize, and you’ve got yourself a nicely packaged possible mid-life crisis without the proper emotional maturity and support. Not saying Ellin is going to go off the deep end, but c’mon guys, I’m sure we can’t imagine the kind of weight on her shoulders.
Secondly, is this really a new development?Um, no. Celebrity infidelity is old hat; it’s just people didn’t used to be able to get reality shows for homewrecking.
Thirdly, now, on every dang website, there is some quiz or article about Are You The Sandra Bullock Of Your Relationship? Great. Now I have a bunch of trend riding bloggers giving me ambiguous questions to apply to my relationship. Yes, my boyfriend DOES have a password on his iPhone! It’s not that it’s his work phone that may have important emails or something like that, no definitely not, he’s definitely HIDING SOMETHING! Oh, my goodness, HE DID GET A NEW CAR! It wasn’t because the muffler was detached and it was about to explode, it was definitely because HE IS OUT IMPRESSING THE LADIES!
All it is doing is creating a paranoia amongst women, stressing us out, making us overanalyze more than we already do, checking his underwear drawer and screeching down the hall at sweetheart Dan, "WHEN DID YOU SWITCH TO BOXER BRIEFS?!" when they were just simply on sale last time he went to pick you up tampons at Target.
You may be saying, "well, then don’t read it" which is valid. I don’t read them although as a blogger, my job is to know what the public is interested in. Unfortunately, this is it and I am constantly subjected to these headlines and the thoughts that are circulating through the media. I believe that on a higher level of consciousness it is unhealthy for a person, let alone an entire population, to focus on these infidelities.
You may now be saying, "oh great, now here is where she gets new agey" but I’ll spare you the spiel because I don’t think I need it here. I don’t think anyone out there is really thinking to themselves "Yes, flipping through Tiger Woods’ mistress photo albums on People.com is a valuable use of my time", or at least I hope not.
In hopes people are siding with me and think it’s all very disgusting, disheartening & disrespectful, here is a list of things I find devastatingly cooler & more fun than cheating celebrities for you to check out while you’re on the internet.
Note: I’m not saying these are all "valuable uses" of your time on the internet but the truth is I’m not your mom. I’m not here to tell you to get back to work or buff up on your Health Care Reform knowledge. I’m just here to say that if you’re going to look around leisurely, the internet is a big place. Don’t just stop at every Ed Hardy print ad of Jon Gosselin you see.
1. New iPhone "Lost" & Sold To Gizmodo – Alright, so for all of you who need scandal, here you go. Last week, an unreleased iPhone was "lost" at a bar and sold to Gizmodo. Not only is the phone super sweet, but then there was this saga about whether or not Gizmodo would be in trouble for possibly buying STOLEN GOODS! DUN DUN DUNNN!!! Alright, maybe this is just for my tech friends but you have to admit this sounds better than listening to Tiger’s mistresses talk on Maury. Not sure if they’ve been on Maury yet, that just might be some of my flashes into the future coming through. Check out the Gizmodo iPhone story here.
2. South Park versus Revolution Muslim – Recently, Matt Stone & Trey Parker had an episode that featured the Prophet Muhammad dressed up in a bear suit. Now the website Revolution Muslim is predicting (but not threatening) that the creators will be murders much like Dutch filmmaker Theo van Gogh. Get the whole story at the NY Times.
I’m not really into "scandals" so here’s just another eight things I think are wayyy cooler than Perez Hilton musings.
3. Pitchfork’s Forkcast – Every day Pitchfork.com posts new songs, most of them free for download, on a little part of their site called The Forkcast. Next time you feel like reading about Sandra’s New Heart Ache you should go get some new music for your iPod.
4. StumbleUpon – A website that takes all your interests and then directs you to random websites based on those interests, which saves you a lot of Google time plus puts you on to tons of things you may have never even found in the vast see of webs. For Mozilla, they even have a toolbar so anytime you’re tempted to see what Jon’s last girlfriend said on her Twitter, you can just click away! CLICK AWAY FROM THE GOSSIP! CLICK AWAY! Check out StumbleUpon.com here.
5. The Daily What – This Tumblr has the top links, viral videos, pictures and everything else throughout the day. Good for news and or LOLz, The Daily What is a great place to light heartedly stay up to speed with the internet.
6. Cute Overload – If I need to explain to you why adorable little animals are better than reading tired out editorials about Jesse James’ tattooed lovers then fine. Go ahead. Read exactly what you read yesterday ran through a thesaurus. Or you can go look at kittens and smile! Puppies make the world a happier place! C’mon! Check out Cute Overload.
7. Molls – If you need some sort of "celebrity" to obsess over, why don’t you pick one that is awesome like internet celebrity Molly McAleer. Molly, who mostly goes by Molls, is a hilarious, funny, intelligent blogger (mostly of Defamer, er, fame) who is the face of the millennials, basically. She reads the paper daily, is down with your favorite pop stars and will make you laugh your face off with her Tumblr entries. Molls was one of the New York Times’ top Twitters to follow so you know the girl is doing something right. Check out Molls’ Tumblr.
8. FFFOUND! – Addicted to pictures? FFFOUND! is one of the best places to get them! Users find and add images, making it an eclectic place full of long lost old polaroids, fashion spreads, new design ideas and just about anything else you could want a picture of. Join and start your own collection of things you’ve found right here!
9. Knight Cat – For those with fashion fever, check out premiere fashion blogger Knight Cat. Knight Cat shows off the latest from the runways and from magazines, with beautiful spreads as well as must have looks!
10. Cracked – Next time you’re slacking off at work, take a gander at the hilarious blogs this website gets from submitting readers with lists from "6 Things Men Do To Get Laid That Science Says Turn Women Off" to "The Seven Most Soul-Crushing TV Series Finales", Cracked is sure to get a couple chuckles out of you.
I’m just sorry I can’t help you at the supermarket too.