Tag Archives: childhood

Watch the Live Hangout on Bullying with Gotham Chopra, Shane Koyczan, and Other Special Guests!

Our third Google+ hangout in the “Aspire to Inspire” series focuses on the crippling effects of bullying. Gotham Chopra is joined by poet Shane Koyczan, whose video for “To This Day” went viral due to it’s honest, heartbreaking prose about the lifetime effects of bullying. Other guests include: Martin Shervington who will offer insight from his experience in psychology and life coaching, Margot Leitman – a comedian who just released her first book “Gawky: Tales of an Extra Long Awkward Phase,” and Kevin Epling, the National Co-Director and Michigan representative for Bully Police USA.

If you haven’t seen the Shane’s poignant viral video, check it out (and have your tissues at the ready):

Subscribe to The Chopra Well and don’t miss our final “Aspire to Inspire” hangout on cancer survival, this Monday!

Find Out What You Want – Step #3

create-present

 What a remarkably appropriate stick this is, how well fitted for today. How interesting that I pulled it out of my bunch now, of all times. Now that I sit in a hotel room in Poland, in Katowice, in the city I grew up in. The city I escaped from. The city that still haunts me in nightmares.

Here I am, shocked like a deer in the headlights, because I feel the past closing in around me. I feel a life that is over and done with, that is gone, long gone, coming back from its dark hole. Here I am. Not Pausha Foley anymore but Patrycja Gawronska. Again.

Clinging to Christopher with all my might – he is my shield against Polishness. My link to Pausha. My link to Pausha Foley. To the American life. To the French life. To the lives I created for myself.

But then this – this dark, hard, painful existence in this dirty, dark, crumbling city – have I created this too? Have I created my childhood full of fear and pain? Have I created the trauma that sent me for long years into apathy and obliviousness?

I would hesitate to answer this … maybe … has it not been for one night, long ago, in Los Angeles. I worked with the wizard that night. I went deep, deep into the source of me, into dark places and scary blanknesses filled with a terrifying father, with masculine abuse and feminine neglect, with collapse of my power, my autonomy, my soul. And then, when the time came to return to my body, I resurfaced accompanied by a thought:

interesting how I organized all those experiences for myself…

Click here to read Find Out What You Want – Step #1 and Find Out What You Want – Step # 2

6 Ways to Chill This Summer

UntitledMany have read about stress-reduction methods, but are usually too stressed to practice these strategies when you are all worked up. “Don’t tell me to calm down!” Did you know that summer is the best time to practice these techniques, so that they can become knee-jerk responses for cold, dark, rainy days? And you are more inclined to do so because the living really is easier in summer with lighter clothing, casual Fridays at work, back yard barbecues, hikes, outings to the shore and sipping cool drinks – the emphasis is on sipping not gulping.

6 summer stress-management strategies:

  1. The season’s emphasis is on being natural. Light clothing and bathing suits reveal more of who you truly are as you let down your guard and take off your mask revealing your authentic self. And if you cringe at this aforementioned thought, then improve or change who you are! Note that self-suppression is a potent stressor which can lead to heart disease. Communicating openly and naturally reduces the likelihood of stress due to misunderstanding or the famous words, “I should have said…”
  2. Sunshine lifts the spirit and the Vitamin D which penetrates the body through exposed skin improves health, strengthens bones and boosts the immune system. Better to get sun-kissed Vitamin D than wonder about which supplements to take as well as the dosage. However, don’t over tan as skin cancer is the downside.
  3. Summer childhood memories remind us to take vacation, even a staycation, or frequent mini-vacations. Although you might fear taking time off from work, you actually come back better.
  4. Outdoor activity directly counteracts technology overload to reset natural rhythm. Being more active helps to alleviate anxiety and break negative loops. Taking a walk during a lunch break restores and reignites productivity.
  5. Hot summer days, like those in Mediterranean countries, help to manage weight as you tend to eat lighter foods like fresh salads and fish. The heat encourages you to drink more water and eat fresh local fruit. Have a pitcher of your own spa water on hand. Simply fill with water and slice up a favorite fruit, chill and sip. Once you shift eating habits to more fruits, vegetables, lean protein and more water this summer, you will transfer them to fall and winter; in fact, you will crave this fare.
  6. Summer brings longer daylight hours which energize you. However, instead of doing more chores, you reward yourself with more fun and me time. Hmmm, this last tip is the best one of all. Once you take care of yourself and behave like a healthy narcissist, you have arrived at the root of which all stress-management is based.

What are some of your favorite relaxing summer activities? Let me know in the comments section!

Deepak Chopra: The Secret of Creativity

How do you keep your creative spirit alive even as you progress further into adulthood? In this week’s episode of “The Rabbit Hole” on The Chopra Well, Deepak Chopra explores the dynamics of a creative life and the relationship between age and creativity (we don’t have to lose our imagination as we grow older!).

Imagination and creativity are pinnacles of human experience. Children seem to know this innately, effortlessly, but adults are just as capable of playfulness and innovation. When was the last time you sat down with your paints, invented a game, or made up a new recipe? Whatever it is for you, take some time today to let your imagination run wild. And remember that every day, in every moment, it is within your power to practice creativity and let life be your canvass.

Subscribe to The Chopra Well and check out Deepak Chopra’s book, Super Brain, for more on neuroplasticity and creativity.

Begin Your Life

begins

When did this happen … I cannot be sure if there was a moment, a specific instance, but what comes to mind is a summer afternoon in Ojai, CA, the Matilija Street, a grassy lawn framing the sidewalk. I balanced on a curb waiting for Chris to park. We were heading to the post office across the street. I remember this sidewalk, I remember the curb, and I remember the brilliant greenness of the grass. And I remember the realization that came: my parents did exactly what they could do.

They did what they could. If they could be more loving, more caring, more supportive — they would be, but they could not. They were in pain; they struggled with their demons, and being alive took so much effort, so much energy, so much attention that there was little to spare for others. There was little to spare for me.

I saw them, in that moment, on that afternoon, as humans. People. People I knew — not parents who should and had to and didn’t, and failed. I saw them as people and, in that moment, I ceased to be a daughter. I became Pausha.

That day was the first day of Pausha’s life. The first day of discovering Pausha. Of becoming that which is called Pausha – that which is what I am.

Not a daughter, a friend, a wife, a lover, but myself.

Not a citizen, a Pole, an immigrant, a legal alien, a designer, a student.

But me. Myself. And a life that is an expression of what I am.

More art by Pausha Foley:

Be Everything

Don’t Destroy Anything

You are not a stranger.

3 Ways To Find Your Inner Child and Add the WOW! Back to Life

flying kidKids don’t like being bored. So, when the world becomes boring to them, they find things to make it interesting. They invent, create, imagine – or at least they do this until much of our schooling pulls this desire and ability out of them.

Here are some alarming statistics: Kids laugh and smile more than 400 times a day. Adults – only 15. The ability to see the greatness, awesomeness, and wonder about life is such an incredible trait in kids, and one that we, as adults, have either forgotten how to do or have been trained out of. Though we are each born great, we often trade our greatness in order to fit in. We accept what others do as what “is done” and in the process, we become more and more disconnected from our true talents, strengths and passions. We loose our sense of wonder – we stop being kids.

So what if, just for a moment, we could get back into our “kid thinking” – the thinking that allowed us to see possibilities everywhere, that prevented us from being afraid of standing out, failing or doing anything but loving life? What if we were more focused on all that could happen instead of constantly seeing what can’t happen? Image how our lives would change.

Consider these three ways to reconnect to your inner child to find ways to add more WOW! and wonder back into your life:

1. Reconnect to your memories. Think back to when you were a kid. What did you love to do? What did you dream about? Who were your heroes? Where did you spend your time? When we were younger, we did things that made
us happy, mostly because we were less concerned with what others thought. We tried things and chose to do things we knew were right – or fun – for us. Kids are remarkably authentic and true. So thinking back to when you were
younger and identify what was right and fun for you. Without others telling you who to be, how things are or what to do, you filled your time with the things you loved; you did what mattered to you. Many of these things still matter to you. List them, think about them, reconnect to them. You need this information to do what comes next: action.

2. Act on what mattered to you. From that list of possibilities, select one or two. If you loved to dance, go dance. Take lessons or put the music on when you are home. If you loved to write, use numbers, solve puzzles, cook, build
things, dream, run, play sports, lead others, act or anything else, start it again. These things mattered to us. And for the most part, we were good at them. We have both the interest and the ability to bring it back into our lives in some form. Keep a running list of things you want to add back into your life. Then go do it.

3. Tell the judging committee in your head to sit down and shut up. The greatest reason why we live small (why we seemingly don’t love life like kids do) is that we have a committee in our head that likes to tell us what and how to do things. So if you reconsider doing things you did as a kid, the adult, responsible and serious committee in your head is going to give you a tough time. As an adult, these “voices” tell you that acting like a kid is foolish. Life is serious, dangerous and hard. Though all that is true, life is also ours to invent. A life that is built around play – where play means doing what we love in both work and life – is better, happier, and more successful than a life that is serious, dangerous, and hard. We choose how we see life – thrilled like a kid or stressed like an adult. And the cause of much of our “can’t do” attitude is the inner critic, expert and curmudgeon that wants us to play it safe, stay small and follow someone else’s rules. So in the moment when you feel pulled to put the kids dreams away, practice telling your inner critic and committee to sit down, go get a book and shut up.

We could have a life of WOW – in fact, I personally think that is how it is intended. Life is full of great moments that should appreciated and celebrated. But we have been taught that fun is not responsible. We are taught that hard work is the only route to a good life. We are taught that we are supposed to grow up and act like adults, often defined as serious, compliant and disciplined. But why? Why give up the perspective that life is fun, filled with possibilities that are new, exciting and awesome?

So here’s my challenge for you. When you find yourself in a situation where you feel stressed or manic, ask yourself: what would a kid do (WWAKD)? Because maybe, that answer might be exactly what you need to do in that moment. And in the process, we could add more fun, adventure, and WOW to our lives, allowing us to add more good times, joy and excitement. If we remember what we loved as kids and brought some of it back, we could rekindle our love of life and be impressed with all that it can be.

Now, tell your ‘committee’ to be quiet and go out and act like a kid…

photo by: Victor Bezrukov

The Impact of Parents’ Addiction on Children’s Identity

pillz n boozeOne of the most difficult aspects of addiction is the changes that it can bring about in the mindsets of children who grow up in a household with an addict. During their entire life they have to accommodate for the addicted person, creating alternative realities to what is really going on in the home.

Often the partner and the children of an addict work double time to make sure that the addict is protected. This means that they keep the addiction secret and do not talk about any family problems outside of the home. They are typically coached from a young age to make up stories, lie or simply avoid answering specific types of questions that might disclose the dysfunction within the household.

I personally have worked with many clients who have lived their complete childhood with a false self that was carefully developed and encouraged by the family. It was a necessity to simply survive. In my book, The Law of Sobriety, there are many examples of how a false self that was created in childhood is still impacting the now adult child of an addicted parent.

A good illustration is found in a person that I identify as Dominique. In her family both parents were addicts, creating even more pressure and stress for her as a child. Everything in the house was chaos with no structure, predictability or rules. There was nothing that was available to her to act as an anchor to provide the support and routine she so desperately craved.

Her response was to control everything that she could from a very young age. Spontaneity, change, excitement and “going with the flow” were all seen as bad. She literally stuffed her childhood out of the picture and stepped up to be the parent in the family. When she moved out, found a job, and got married, herself, she retained that rigid, structured, and controlling behavior.

However, she also discovered that the false self was limiting her abilities to have a relationship. In order to let her inner child out, something that was very frightening to her, she used alcohol to relax and let go. The result was that Dominique, through her struggles with her false and true selves, developed an addiction, the very thing she feared throughout her childhood.

Through working with her she was able to discover her inner child and strike a balance between fun and control. This type of change is not simple but, using the Law of Attraction, it is more than just possibility. It is, in fact, a pathway to celebrating the true self.

* * *

Sherry Gaba LCSW, Psychotherapist, Life & Recovery Coach is featured Celebrity Rehab on VH1 and is the author of The Law of Sobriety which uses the law of attraction to recover from any addiction. You can download free E books at www.sherrygaba.com or contact Sherry for webinars, teleseminars, coaching packages and speaking engagements. Listen to Sherry on “A Moment of Change with Sherry Gaba” on CBS Radio. Struggling with your own love junkie dramas? You’re not alone. Join my free newsletter community to get the support you need to stop the madness before it affects your next relationship or the one you are in now.  – Get the Love You Truly Deserve!

Life After Foster Care: Yoga, College and the Path Forward

As of 2011, roughly 423,000 children in the United States were living in foster care homes. Today the numbers are much the same. Nearly 20% enter foster care due to physical abuse; 65% leave without a place to live; and less than 3% end up going to college.

Anthony, from the latest episode of URBAN YOGIS on The Chopra Well, is an exception to the trend. He grew up in and out of foster care, back and forth between his mother and various temporary homes. As he explains in the episode, his mother never fed him or provided him with basic life needs, let alone the more intangible necessities of love, comfort, and security. He was never with her long before being sent to another foster home, making for a fairly unstable childhood.

With the help of his final foster family, as well his own drive and will to survive, Anthony emerged from his youth with a clear vision for the future. He’s proud of the life he has created for himself — living independently in a supportive housing unit, pursuing a Bachelor’s degree in Actuarial Science, and aspiring to get a Ph.D. in Mathematics. Anthony didn’t just survive his childhood; and he isn’t just “getting by” now. He has discovered his passion and ambition. He has embarked on a difficult and rewarding path, made all the more remarkable by his challenging childhood. Through his weekly yoga practice, Anthony further refines this path by learning to pay attention to his moods, focus his mind, and discover strength in every subtle movement and breath.

How does a young person emerge from such a difficult childhood and thrive in adulthood? What facilitates this resilience and ambition? It could be that some experience along the way provided just enough of a glimmer of hope – a supportive social worker, a beautiful song, a loving foster family, an inspiring lesson from history. In Anthony’s case, a large part of his success comes from the opportunity to live alone and get acquainted with his own strength and competence. Yoga has played a large role, as well. As his instructor, Eddie Stern, says, yoga allows us to slow down and focus on our movement and breath. Through this, we come to see that we are individuals with minds and bodies and souls of our own. We aren’t just witnesses of a world going on around us, but rather conscious agents of our own life story. Past, present and future aside, Anthony is his own man. And there is great pride in that.

Subscribe to The Chopra Well for more URBAN YOGIS every Monday!

Teaching Others How To Treat You

Do you also believe that we teach others how to treat us? It is a motto I have religiously adhered to for most of my adult life. However, I must add that I have made some radical changes to my ‘teaching strategy’ over the years, and this change in my approach has brought me much inner peace and harmony with others. I have learned that we can ‘teach others’ with much less fuss and drama.

In my early adulthood I used to take a firm stand on just about everything and everyone who I felt were out of line. I am someone who often feels compelled to stand up for others, as well as for myself and my beliefs.

I also have this annoying habit of constantly wanting to side with the ‘underdog’ in any given situation. Like most empaths, I just cannot come to grips with any form of injustice or underhanded behavior. Circumstances that are unfair, dishonest or cruel really trouble me, and people who are unreasonable, inconsiderate or simply mean have always been one of my ‘pet peeves’.

 

Love is misunderstood to be an emotion; actually, it is a state of awareness, a way of being in the world, a way of seeing oneself and others ~ David R. Hawkins

 

Apart from being an empath, the desire for justice and fairness also stems from my youth. The trouble started long before I was born. Not only did I enter this lifetime blessed with the psychic abilities of my ancestors, I was also one of the many ‘first wave’ Indigo children who arrived on our planet in the 60’s and 70’s. I was a gifted and very unusual child, growing up in an extremely conservative and conformist society. I carried a target on my forehead from my very first day in kindergarten.

I was bullied and ridiculed for most of my childhood and teenage years. South Africa under apartheid was not the most friendly place for anyone who dared to be different in any way. Bigotry, prejudice and intolerance was to be found around every corner and in all walks of life. If you were discovered to be out of the ordinary, or if you did not conform to the norm, you were not very welcome in the politically controlled and socially engineered world which I grew up in.

Thankfully all of this changed when I was coming of age. By the time they released Nelson Mandela from prison, I had also been personally liberated by means of a tertiary education and the inner strength that comes from surviving several traumatic life events, as well as a growing personal acceptance of my psychic legacy. I was now a young adult and along the way I had also discovered that I am more than able to take a stand and defend myself, and others, whenever I felt it necessary.

 

There’s much more in any given moment than we usually perceive, and we ourselves are much more than we usually perceive. When you know that, part of you can stand outside the drama of your life ~ Ram Dass

 

I certainly wasted no time exercising my new found personal freedom. I was very much inspired by the newly achieved democracy in my country and those who had fought for it. In my own way, I also had a voice now and I wanted to use it. It was important to me to put the ‘bad guys’ in their place. Mean, nasty behavior had to have consequences. Keeping my mouth shut or backing down was no longer an option. I was never going to return willingly to that psychological prison created by others’ small-mindedness. I was, after all, busy teaching the world how to treat me and I had a lot of catching up to do. I certainly was not going to take any prisoners.

Fortunately, we never stop learning and over the years I have come to realize that this ‘fight for your right’ approach offers very little spiritual fulfillment or lasting inner peace. I have in time discovered that it is mostly the weak who react in anger or frustration. It is the weak who constantly seeks justice or revenge. It is the weak who feels compelled to be tough and defiant.

Standing your ground is trivial and has very little to do with your inner strength. The truly enlightened and wise find their power in unconditional love. Who is right and who is wrong is spiritually insignificant. Truly powerful people seldom have any need for excessive self-defense or forcing their views upon others. It simply does not matter. Do you want to be right… or do you want to make a difference in the world?

 

To offer no resistance to life is to be in a state of grace, ease, and lightness. This state is then no longer dependent upon things being in a certain way, good or bad ~ Eckhart Tolle

 

Instead of focusing on what others say or do or believe, turn your attention to your inner being. Focus on your own vibration. Work on feeling better about yourself and your life. Other people are not responsible for how you feel. If the words and actions of someone or something are currently determining your state of mind, or your self-esteem, it means that you have been giving away your power, and it is time for you to take it back.

You were born with the basic spiritual right to feel good and be happy. In fact, you have inherited a divine right to feel really great about yourself and your life. It is vital that we feel this way, because it empowers us to love others unconditionally. Once you feel happy and centered in your own being, it is so much easier to be kind and tolerant towards others.

Claiming your place in the sun and staying true to yourself does not have to involve any form of violent conviction, dogged persistence, foolish bravery or brute force. There is nothing that you have to prove to anyone. There is nobody that must be resisted or refuted or convinced by you at all cost. Not everything needs to be changed by you; everyone and everybody does not require your supervision or control. Your opinion is not always required. When you are in alignment with your higher self and your true life purpose, others can behave as they wish; you won’t even notice.

 

You are killing one another as you argue over whose way of life is the right way, when there is not one right way of life. There is just life…and you all get to choose the way. No one can threaten your way of life ~ Abraham-Hicks

 

When you are in that ‘zone ‘ it simply does not matter what other people say or do or think. What matters is how you respond to them. There are never any winners if there also has to be losers, no matter what the circumstance. Jesus referred to it as “turning the other cheek” and “doing unto others”; the Buddha talked of cultivating “a limitless heart” and the Prophet Muhammad encouraged the “conquest of self” and loving our “fellow-beings first”. It does not matter how one describes it. What matters is how ‘the zone’ makes you feel, and what it enables you to do in order to make the world a better place.

With this approach it becomes so much easier to ‘teach others’. You no longer have to deal with all the stress, drama and negative, destructive emotions. There is no longer any desire to be constantly affirmed or acknowledged by others. Gone are the regrets and the grudges. Conflict and arguments all but disappear from your life. It really does take two to tango and nobody enjoys dancing solo, especially if there is no music to dance to.

The results are amazing. When you respond to the mean, petty moments of others from within your ‘zone’, you will find that the guilty parties tend to apologize more often and more readily. When you’re true to yourself and aligned with the rest of the Universe, people actually become willing to listen and calmly consider your point of view. Even the really tough and deluded folks become a non-issue, because they will eventually give up and move on.

 

Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power. If you realize that you have enough, you are truly rich ~ Tao Te Ching

 

All of this may seem like a lot of hard work, but it does not have to be. Getting into the ‘zone’ is much easier than you may think. Deepak Chopra describes it as following the ‘Law of Least Effort’.  There are three components to this law, namely acceptance, responsibility and defenselessness, which he outlines in his book, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success.

Chopra explains that “acceptance simply means that you make a commitment: ‘Today I will accept people, situations, circumstances and events as they occur.’ This means you will know that this moment is as it should be, because the whole universe is as it should be”.

Responsibility means “not blaming anyone or anything for your situation, including yourself. This allows you the ability to have a creative response to the situation as it is now. All problems contain the seeds of opportunity, and this awareness allows you to take the moment and transform it to a better situation or thing.”

Finally, he describes the most important component of getting into the ‘zone’, namely becoming defenseless. He defines this process as “relinquishing the need to convince or persuade others of your point of view. If you relinquish this need you will in that relinquishment gain access to enormous amounts of energy that have been previously wasted”.

 

If you knew your potential to feel good, you would ask no one to be different so that you can feel good. You would free yourself of all of that cumbersome impossibility of needing to control the world, or control your mate, or control your child. You are the only one who creates your reality – Abraham-Hicks

 

I also recommend three simple rules of thumb that I try to follow to help me stay in my ‘zone’. The first is to always pick your battles carefully and to let the Law of Karma take care of the rest. The second is to not buy into other people’s drama. The third is to recognize that you were never supposed to be anybody’s doormat, so don’t allow yourself to go down that slippery slope in the first place.

Does this mean that we should always remain silent when we are made victims, or look the other way when we see atrocities committed? Not at all. Nelson Mandela did not remain silent. Neither did Mahatma Ghandi. But they also came to the realization during the course of their lives that using force to convince others was not the best way to change the world. “An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind”, said Ghandi. “If you want to make peace with your enemy, you have to work with your enemy. Then he becomes your partner”, said Mandela.

It is not about remaining silent or avoiding reality. It is about remaining faithful to your feelings, beliefs and values, without having to force it upon others. Your life and the rest of the world can be changed without violence or drama or force. We don’t have to shout our personal slogans from rooftops. Mandela and Ghandi are two excellent examples of how to achieve personal peace, spiritual wisdom and harmony with others… and yet, they both managed to completely change the history of the world!

 

When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love has always won. There have been tyrants and murderers and for a time they seem invincible, but in the end, they always fall – think of it, always ~ Mahatma Gandhi

 

Now, I must admit, this alternative approach to ‘teaching others how to treat us’ remains a work in progress for me. I don’t always get it right in my moments of weakness. Some bullies just have the uncanny ability to drag you away from your ‘path of least resistance’ and, before you know it, you are completely out of your ‘zone’. On those occasions one tends to forget all your best intentions and give in to anger, hurt or frustration.

But it gets easier with practice and one does become stronger. And while I learn to let go more and more each day, I find comfort in the words of Jack Kornfield who once said that “a genuine spiritual path is not to avoid difficulties but to learn the art of making mistakes wakefully, to bring them to the transformative power of our heart”.

© 2011 Anthon St Maarten

Image: graur codrin / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Going Back By Going Within: Healing Childhood Wounds

 With the wisdom of an adult, we can be the loving parent or guardian we needed as a child.

Events from childhood, our first experiences, have the power to shape our lives. Some do so immediately, offering us challenges to overcome and encouragement to make use of our talents and interests. In the process character is built, and we make the first steps upon our personal paths. Other events seem to lay dormant until adulthood, when our closest relationships help to bring out the deepest aspects of ourselves. This is when unexamined lessons can be put to use and untended childhood wounds make themselves known in a call for healing. 

We may discover issues of trust coming up, or perhaps we find ourselves mirroring actions from our past instinctively. No matter the case, we have the power within us to heal ourselves at the deepest level. With the wisdom of an adult, we can be the loving parent or guardian we needed as a child. Knowing that we are each whole spiritual beings having a human experience, we can nurture ourselves from that wholeness, and then reach out to others as well. We can recreate scenarios in our mind’s eye, trying different outcomes and following them to their logical conclusions. In doing so, we may be able to imagine possible reasons a situation occurred as it did, and even accept that it could not have happened any other way. With the wisdom born from age and experience, we might be able to see events from a different perspective, bringing new understanding and freeing ourselves from any hold the past may have on us. 

Life offers opportunities to clear these weeds in the gardens of our souls. However, when we want to focus on easier and more pleasant tasks, we are likely to pass up the chances, leaving the wounds to continue to drain our energy and resources for living life fully today. We might find we need support to face the events of the past, so turning to a trained professional who can offer tools for healing can be a valid choice. As long as we remember that the child we were lives on within us, we are always free to go back and right old wrongs, correct mistaken perceptions, heal wounds, forgive, and begin anew. 

 

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