You met at the right time and everything just fell into place. You’ve dated plenty of other people but it has never felt this right. You’re ready to move past casual dating and take the next step. A big, scary, exciting step. When you find someone with whom you’re ready to take that leap with, it isn’t unusual to struggle with a lot of thoughts: does this have a shot at the long run? Is what I’m feeling for real? Will they be there through all the times, not just the easy ones but the truly challenging moments as well?
Here are three suggestions on how you can give yourself a little assurance that you’re choosing a partner who’s good for more than just dinner and a movie. Continue reading
What really is romantic chemistry? Attraction? If it is an illusion, why is it so important to have it with a partner? What if you recognize a good person with whom you have no romantic chemistry, is it worthwhile, in your opinion, to make a relationship happen with this person? Is it better to choose someone who is a wonderful person, even if there is no attraction, because chemistry dies eventually anyway? A best friend rather than a lover? Thanks for answering my question.
I see romantic chemistry as a subtle interaction between two people even when no words are being spoken. It is a kind of playful dance of invisible energy going on with them. It can be sexual energy, but it can also be friendly energy, competitive energy or even intellectual playfulness.
So choosing a good friend as a partner doesn’t necessarily imply there is no chemistry there or that there isn’t some sexual spark there too. And by the same token, the person you feel more “juice” around may be a wonderful person too as you get to know them. There is no simple “right” decision here. It comes down to what kind of all-around relationship is most nourishing and healthy for you at this time. Consider what qualities each of these guys bring out of you. Are those qualities you admire in yourself and want to foster? Think of the behavior that you elicit from them. Is that behavior that you find nourishing, meaningful, loving?
From these answers, you will know where you long-term happiness lies.
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