Tag Archives: determination

Breathe-See-Feel the Way to Manifesting Your Desires

Grace - 1By Colette Davenport

Lately, I’ve been experiencing the urge to be near the ocean. The ideal for me is a tropical environment with soft brown sugar-like sands, lush towering palm trees through which the ocean breeze whispers mother nature’s secrets, and water so ridiculously clear and azure in color that when I close my eyes that’s what appears on the screen of my eyelids.

Sounds great, right? Well, there are some hurdles I have to overcome before I can get to that tropical paradise. First, I need to save up the money by re-prioritizing my spending.  Instead of indulging, for instance, in things like pedicures and spontaneous shopping trips to Target (you know how this can go!) I’m going to have to put that money into a travel account. Or hey, even better, that fun little piggy-bank I got at Target last week! Next, and this isn’t so much required as it is desired, I want to look and feel fabulous in bikini on the beach. So I am setting a goal to exercise five days a week. My three-days-a-week routine is doing a lovely job of maintaining a physique, but I want to challenge and then reward myself with the holiday. Given all of that, I think eight weeks is a reasonable time-frame to save up and tone up.

Now. Here’s where the real challenge comes into play. I have to choose for the next two months in favor of my intention to float and frolic in the warm waters of the sea. My tendency is to react to the immediate desire, i.e. “Cute piggy-bank!” (flower vase, scarf, etc.) or “Happy hour instead of the gym? Sure why not!” Making conscious choices daily will determine whether I’m sitting seaside this summer or pushing a red shopping cart browsing the beach towel isle.

In an effort to make the daily choices fun and functional, I’ve created the breatheseefeel method, described below. I invite you to join me and use it whenever you’re faced with a decision to indulge in an immediately gratifying activity OR to consciously choose in favor of something you really desire and intend.

First, breathe. Inhale a deep full breath and then exhale slowly, mindfully, and allow for instant conscious awareness. It clears the mind of racing thoughts. It also relieves the near constant “fight or flight” response induced by fear or confusion. It’s kind of like pushing the reset button. I like to imagine the exhale as a down escalator…taking me from the upper floor (my head, that wants something NOW) to the lower floor (my heart, that intends something more meaningful).

Next, see. Visualize yourself successfully reaching your goal or manifesting your intention. Notice the environment. (I did this while writing the first paragraph above.) Observe what you’re doing in that environment. Is it day or night? Who are you sharing the good news or good vibes with? See them, too.

Finally, as you see your intended results come to fruition, feel the positive emotions this success elicits. You know what it feels like to get what you want or succeed at something important so let yourself feel those feelings in advance – I bet it brings a smile to your face! After all, isn’t that what we’re going for when it comes to immediate gratification?

When we breathe, see, and feel, we get present to how the choice before us is either “for or against” our real intentions. In that moment we align our head and heart, our choices and actions so that achieving our goals becomes powerful and pleasurable.

Right then, I’m off to put piggy front and center, depositing (what was going to be) “latte money” in her on my way out the door. And this time I’m choosing the flush of redness in my face from a work out over the red bull’s eye.

* * *

professional portraitColette Davenport is a health, relationship, and intimacy coach with 20+ years of training, formal education, and life experiences culminating in a truly integrated and holistic body of work. Colette’s private practice, THRIVE [mind+body+energy], is a Tantra inspired coaching and training platform shaped by her personal philosophy, which is rooted in self-awareness, compassion, service, mindfulness, personal growth, communication, gratitude, and love. Miss Davenport studied at Texas Healing Arts Institute in Austin, TX and received a holistic health coach certification from the Institute for Integrative Nutrition in New York. To connect with Colette visit her website, Facebook, or Twitter.

 

Image via Lululemon

5 Attitudinal Traits of Winners

Screen Shot 2013-07-16 at 11.19.34 AMBy Lyna Jones

“You will turn out to be an alcoholic and a prostitute, just like your mother. You are too stupid to do anything else.”

This sharp statement would resonate in my ears daily for nearly four years. My foster mom apparently didn’t perceive any potential in my 13-year-old self. Ever since that statement, I have been fiercely determined to win the game of life and break the chains of my past. I knew that my strength of will would ultimately liberate me from the ruinous patterns of my family.

Winning isn’t everything. The will to win is, as are the mental tools to become the victor of your own existence.

Here are the 5 fundamental traits of a winner that have permitted me to claim the happiness that I own today.

1. Staunch Perseverance

The only person who holds the chief capacity to get in the way of your goals is yourself.
Anything and everything is possible if we possess the staunch willingness to persevere until we reach our destination. We must recalibrate our mental focus upon our destination every single day. It becomes a personal value that shapes our character and refines our approach to win. Thomas Edison was the epitome of perseverance: He conducted nearly 10,000 experiments before finding a filament that would burn in the electric light bulb.

Perseverance does not entail an obsessive repetition of the same behavior and techniques but the ability to re-assess our approach keeping our end goal in mind. The path of high-achievers is paved by failures, rejection, and discouragement. But the winning mind is simply never deterred by such momentary setbacks. It strives forward with tenacity and resolve.

2. Clarity of Purpose

Do your dreams truly come from the innermost part of your soul or do they belong to somebody else? Our family, environment, peers, and cultural expectations, role models, largely influence us. It is paramount to live up to your authentic dreams. Let yourself stand for your individual truth. Honor and pursue the jolts of your own heart. Embrace your peculiar preferences. We are often programmed to fit into the current societal norms that we loose touch with our unique desires.

My childhood dream was to become an attorney-at-law. I was persuaded that such a profession would automatically earn me the approval and respect of the others. That dream was irrelevant to my soul. It was not carved out of a passion for the law. It was chosen to impress others. Clarify your vision. Write down your burning pursuits and their accompanied reasons. Let go of what is not genuinely yours to create space for your soul to barge in. Let authenticity be the authoritative mark of your dream.

3. Always Learn More

Winners are fully committed to developing their craft. Become a perpetual student to increase your knowledge, your value, and your confidence. A winning mind stays teachable. Tiger Woods is the greatest golfer in the world. Yet he works with a coach, Sean Foley, to sharpen his swing.

People with the most information always have an advantage. Develop a system to increase your repertoire of information. I maximize my daily 45-minute commute to work to listen to personal development audio books and podcasts, which is the equivalent of a book per week. My life schedule is extremely tight but I make my free time very productive.

Learn more. Accumulate experiences. Bust through the walls of your comfort zone to propel your growth forward.

4. Look Forward

How do you feel about your future?

You are not your personal history.

Let your past be your mentor for the positive lessons it contains and leave the darkness of the past behind. The elements of your past can be immensely useful if embraced as constructive blocks for a better future. Anything is possible because nothing is certain in the future tense. Winners assume the energy of a triumphant outcome.

5. Core Confidence

You must become your biggest fan.

If you believe that you can, you are right. And if you believe that you can’t, you are also right.

Develop a self-belief so strong that it will ineluctably compel others to support you in your journey. Know that you possess the necessary skills, mindset, and self-concept to prevail in the end. Enough positive self-talk will burst through any obstacle so give up your “I can’ts”. My primary goal since first witnessing my mothers drunkenly fall outside of a bar has been to set my soul on fire in order to teach others self-reliance, determination, and the power of self-love.

* * *

Born and raised in Normandy, Lyna Jones is a Certified Life Coach with a staunch desire to help others step into their extraordinary life. Having endured many grave hardships throughout her journey from childhood into young adulthood, Lyna is equipped with passion and perseverance. Still growing and developing as a writer, she is a passionate individual dedicated to inspire and galvanize each soul she works with.

Facebook.com/lynatjones

Twitter.com/LynaTJones

Do You Have the Grit It Takes to Follow Your Dreams?

Screen Shot 2013-06-04 at 1.50.34 PMHave you ever wanted to give up on something that you really, really wanted because it was just too darn hard to keep trying? 

You can’t run one more step, write one more word, endure one more dead end? Join the club.

Can I Sit Down Now?

But, before you throw in the towel, there’s something you should know.

People who succeed at getting what they want in life aren’t smarter, more talented, or luckier than you.

They just might have something psychologists call grit: the ability to keep going no matter what. Grit, it turns out, may be one of the most powerful ingredients in your success recipe.

Smart Grit

I’m not talking about trying endlessly to reach a goal where the chance of victory is close to zilch, like opening an ice cream shop in Antarctica. Although never say never.

I’m talking about the grit you need to stay on your healthy diet, save money, or start that business. Grit is different from willpower, the ability to focus for snippets of time, say, just long enough to resist that cookie. Grit is willpower’s big brother. It’s endurance for the long haul; the stamina to keep going even when you stumble.

I Want Some Grit, Please

When I was writing my doctoral dissertation, an intense research project that was my final step before getting my PhD, I needed a giant dose of grit.

That’s because the dissertation experience can be pretty grueling. I’d met students who were in dissertation-anxiety support groups, and I’d watched exhausted graduates–sporting newly spawned gray hair–lumber down the aisle to finally accept their diplomas, some after ten years. It was clear; I was going to need some serious stick-to-itiveness if I wanted to make it to graduation before my social security benefits kicked in.

Santa To The Rescue

My own grit arrived in an unexpected flash of inspiration. In the midst of a late night writing session, I suddenly remembered a television show my brothers and I watched every year at Christmastime called “Santa Claus is Comin’ To Town.” In the show, there was a song I never forgot called Put One Foot In Front Of The Other.

I suddenly realized that to complete my dissertation, that’s exactly what I needed to do: put one foot in front of the other. Rather than looking at the enormity of the task ahead of me, I needed only to write one word, one paragraph, one page at a time. If I could do that–over and over again–I could find my grit and finish my dissertation.

To remind myself, on the wall over my computer, in big blue letters, I taped the words “Darlene, Put One Foot In Front Of The Other.” When I felt my spirits sag or there was a unexpected detour, I looked up at those words on the wall. I pushed ahead–one step at a time–and made it all the way to graduation day.

You Can Do It!

Are you chasing a dream that feels distant? Or do you want to improve your life in some way, but it’s hard to stay on track? I know it’s tough to keep going when you’re alone on your path or the road ahead is unclear.

That’s why I want to share with you the 3-minute video clip that inspired me. Watch it, and remember its simple message: put one foot in front of the other. Those words were so encouraging to me, they’ve since become my personal mantra. No matter where you’re headed–one step at a time–that’s how you’ll get there.

Take Down the White Flag

The temptation to quit is strongest the day before you realize your heart’s desire. The enemy of your soul waits patiently and then whispers the words he knows will persuade you to give up:

You don’t deserve it. You can’t possibly achieve it. So, why bother?

You listen. Nod in agreement and then raise the white flag to signal defeat. This is when the disappointment strikes you. The sudden blow takes your breath away. You fall to your knees trying to recover. The enemy of your soul gloats for a moment and then leaves you in your frustration.

The noise of the white flag flapping in the wind is one of the loneliest sounds you will ever hear.

That was then. This is now.

 It doesn’t matter how many times you have given up; what matters is how you will respond the next time doubt surfaces. And what matters most is learning how to take down the white flag for good.

There have been plenty of times when I raised the white flag. The enemy of my soul has taken advantage of my fear and exposed my doubt more than once. I wish I didn’t quit the high school baseball team; I wish I didn’t give up on going to medical school and I wish I didn’t stop writing the book that I know is inside of me.

But that was then. This is now.

You do have the power to take down the white flag. The following are choices you can make whenever the enemy of your soul begins whispering its lie:

1. You are stronger than you think. Anything worth having is worth fighting for – no matter how long it takes. Know you do have the strength, the resolve, to confront any challenge and to learn from the setbacks you encounter along the way.

2. Anything is possible. Why not you and why not now? When an idea is placed in your mind, it is put there for good reason. Honor it. Pursue it. Recognize you have been charged with the responsibility of seeing the idea come to life. When you do, the impossible will be made possible.

3. Understand your limits. You can only do so much in a day, week, month or year. Realize there’s no stopwatch on you. Your time and attention will be diverted to other responsibilities. They do not go away simply because you are pursuing a new dream. Understand in your humanness you do have limits. Rather than being discouraged by these limits, celebrate them. These limits are reminders of the rich, full life you already have.

4. Ask for help. You are not alone. When doubt begins to takeover, turn to family, friends and other confidants to receive the support you need. I have never witnessed someone not receiving help when it is requested.

5. Make a difference. The achievement of your dream will make a difference. Use this fact as motivation when the whispering grows louder. Your purpose, your mission, is uniquely yours. You were created to make a difference like no else can.

6. You deserve happiness. If pursuing your dream, and then achieving it, brings you happiness, then know this: You deserve to be happy. No one is doling out happiness – it’s available for all.

7. Just a heartbeat away. Your arrival to the place you want to be is just a heartbeat away. You will know you are getting closer when the urge to quit becomes glaringly tempting. Push back with your newfound power. Claim what belongs to you and honor it by never turning away again.

8. One step everyday. Rather than measuring where you think you should be, measure where you once were compared to where you are today. Realize that getting to your dream is about taking one step each day. The steps don’t have to be measured in feet or yards; inches will do.

9. Ignore negative talk. Not everyone will be an encourager. When you come across these people, understand their negative comments define who they are; their comments don’t define who you are.

10. Be the inspiration. You touch people in ways you may never know. Your positive attitude, your relentless pursuit of a dream and your ability to ignore the malicious whispering and focus on the goal at hand is admirable. People are watching you. They are inspired by your extraordinary actions even if you consider them to be ordinary.

The next time the enemy of your soul whispers the lie, stay strong in your faith. Practice replacing the lie with the truth. The truth speaks the words to persuade you to never give up:

You are worthy to receive your heart’s desire. You can achieve it. Go be the person you were created to be. Take down the white flag. Raise hope for all to see. Listen to your new flag flapping in the wind and be nourished by its sound.

Nothing Says “I Love You” Like Lipgloss

 June Cleaver was a doormat. I’m a door-slammer.

But we have one thing in common: we both believe that you should dress for your man. I’ve never met my guy at the door in something lacy (but it’s on my to-do list.) I don’t own a pair of foofoo slippers. And ever since my boobs went south after breastfeeding, I had to retire my glittery tube tops. But…I’m no slob either.

 

European women have us pinned to the mat in the “make an effort” category. They make North American women look like…slobs in Crocs and ponytails and sweatpants. I think that va-va-va-voom we mustered up to get the man, too often fades. And va-va-va-voom is good for the soul.

 

I vowed to myself when I got married that I would forever endeavor to be The Sexy Wife. I would not let myself go. It’s not easy. I gained about fifty pounds with my first baby. There were times when I was too broke to buy a pretty new bra, in which case, hi-lights and a bikini wax were also out of the question. I worked sixty-hour weeks for months and raised a toddler that didn’t really sleep. But no matter…I’d remember my sexy wife vow and before the hunk came home, I’d whip some goop in my hair, dab on my amber oil, and get some lip-gloss on my kisser. I still looked exhausted, but I my devotion made up for the circles under my eyes.

 

Sparkle Determination ripples out. Your appearance tells the world how to treat you. When you take care of yourself, life tends to pitch in. When you aim to shine, life pays proper attention to you – and that includes your lover boy (or girl.)

 

And lest you think I’m taking the feminist movement back two decades, know that I expect that same Look Fine Commitment from my dude. He knows that his chances of getting lucky increase with spicy cologne, a pressed linen shirt, and by wearing the silver bracelet that I got him from India.

 

Even June Cleaver would swoon.

 

 

Give yourself some credit. It’s overdue

Are you an internal brow beater? Do you put yourself through the wringer? Give yourself some credit will ya?

I’m definitely guilty of feeling that my “stuff” is inadequate. My ever supportive husband, often pats me on the back for a job well done but my overworked imagination still feels that he does it because he has to.

As an entrepreneur and work-at-home mom/wife, its very easy to look around at the house, at the dinner made, or any number of things and think, “I could do better”.

Ever been there?

I’ve started looking at “my stuff” in general in a whole new light. I’ve stopped the destructive thoughts, and you should too. Let it go. Move on.

If the just do it thinking doesn’t do it for you, here are some more tips.

1. Have a friend look at “your stuff”. Whether you’re an author writing their next book, a web designer who’s working on a new template, or a motivational speaker penning their next gig, ask someone else for their opinion. Don’t ask your spouse, or parent, or anyone else that will leave you thinking they were just being nice for the sake of keeping the peace.

2. Perfection is in itself, an imperfection. Let’s say you’re worried about the kids playing in the living room with their friends because the house is going to get mucked up. You’re going to be seen as a high-handed, controlling mom. Not what you were hoping for was it?

3. Keep a journal – in whatever way works for you – of your accomplishments. Jot down things that turned out well. Refer to it often.

4. Invest in yourself. Whether it is a workshop, book, or seminar – invest in things that are going to develop your talents, strengths and interests.

So there it is. Your challenge for the week. Ease up on yourself. You’ve earned it.

Determination: no guts, no glory

I have a couple of clients that are in the process of trying to get books published, and to say they are having a hard time getting the deal is an understatement. Dead ends, an outright NO, clever schemes to build petitions and platforms to show interest and growth. Each one is going about it in a different way, and yet they all have the same things in common. Determination. Though heart-wrenching to find out that they didn’t make the big leagues yet it is truly inspiring to watch them dig in even deeper to move on to the next level. It really got me thinking about what level of determination I have with my business.

Last week, I was invited to speak at a Ladies who Launch event in Toronto and I met 35 determined business owners who gave up a few hours of their own time to come out an learn from a panel of 4 women. As we each took the stage, I watched the women and LWL facilitators feverishly take notes on subjects ranging from marketing and branding to productivity and entrepreneurial startups. Afterwards, I was able to speak personally to a handful of them before making my way back to my hotel. The one thing that stood out again was the level of determination of these women. One woman started her business with literally no money. She was constantly faced with having brilliant ideas but no money to execute them. If it weren’t for determination, she would have packed it in years ago.

Making your dreams a reality is hard work. You simply must be consistent in your habits and when you face any challenge in your life or business.

Let’s face it, adversity is absolutely inevitable. It doesn’t matter how well you plan something or how perfect your business model. Everything will, one day, be met with some kind of challenge. How you handle that situation is going to determine your future. Each time something blocks you from your dream, you must find a way to go over, under, around, or through it. Your level of determination will dictate how hard you look for that solution and how many obstacles you can encounter. Giving up is simply not an option.

“Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” -Confucius

 

HANG IN THERE!

sometimes I feel like I’m dying,

sometimes I feel like I’m coming alive,

sometimes I don’t feel like trying,

sometimes I feel like I’m touching the sky

it’s a long road, growing,

with ups and downs and turnarounds, 

it’s a hard grind, knowing

if I’m building it up or tearing it down

state of flux, no way to tell

whether I’m sinking, or whether all’s well,

muddle through is all I can do,

until the truth lights up my view ….

…. that’s when the walls fall, 

and I break through.

 

Determination to Achieve Your Goals

I believe that a key aspect of successfully achieving our goals is knowing which goals to set in the first place. Expending energy toward goals over which we have no control and no influence is a waste of energy. But when we sharply focus our powerful mind on what we bring to our own job/work, our own relationships, our own health, and our own lives, then anything is possible! The focused energy of the human mind is unstoppable! Nothing can prevail against a determined will to win:

The Will To Win

If you want a thing bad enough
To go out and fight for it,
Work day and night for it,
Give up your time and your peace and
your sleep for it 

If only desire of it
Makes you quite mad enough
Never to tire of it,
Makes you hold all other things tawdry
and cheap for it

If life seems all empty and useless without it
And all that you scheme and you dream is about it,

If gladly you’ll sweat for it,
Fret for it, Plan for it,
Lose all your terror of God or man for it,

If you’ll simply go after that thing that you want.
With all your capacity,
Strength and sagacity,
Faith, hope and confidence, stern pertinacity,

If neither cold poverty, famished and gaunt,
Nor sickness nor pain
Of body or brain
Can turn you away from the thing that you want,

If dogged and grim you besiege and beset it,
You’ll get it!

— Berton Braley 

May you feel re-energized to determinedly pursue and achieve your goals!

To read other motivational and inspirational thoughts throughout the day, follow me on Twitter:
twitter.com/DrDebBrown

 
 

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