Tag Archives: Dr Kulkarni

Why Do We Attract the Unexpected?

treasurechestReader Question:  What is the best way to deal with an unexpected obstacle?  Why do unexpected things seem to happen out of the blue?  – R.S., Canada

This is actually a great question, and something I’ve been meaning to write an article about for some time.  If we accept and truly believe that everything that comes into our experience is a result of our vibrational output in that moment (the energy frequency we are radiating out), then how can we explain events that seemingly come “out of the blue?”  While the reader above didn’t give a specific example, I can relate to this question myself, as there are many times in my own life when I feel like the unexpected happens- and this is coming from someone that is pretty mindful of her thoughts on a daily basis!  Also, I want to clarify that by unexpected, I don’t always mean negative.  For example, sometimes I’ll find myself dreading a meeting with someone or an event, and it turns out much better than what I was expecting.  Other times, I’m feeling pretty positive and excited about an opportunity and it turns out to be disappointing or not meeting my expectations (for whatever reason).  So, if we get what we think about and what we expect in accordance with our beliefs, how are the above scenarios possible?

In cases where the outcome or manifestation seems incongruous with your beliefs and expectations, there are probably a few things going on that might be worth considering:

1. Are you truly in sync with your emotions?

Sometimes, people have been at a vibrational set point for so long, it doesn’t even register to them as negative emotion anymore.  For example, if you are a chronically irritated or grumpy person, it may not even register as abnormal to you, and you may not understand why you attracted that rude person on your commute to work.  As far as you’re concerned, you were just in your usual state of mind trying to get somewhere.  Then suddenly, out of the blue, someone cuts you off in traffic.  And you ask yourself, why did that just happen?  I wasn’t thinking about a rude person.  And I wasn’t being rude to anyone else.  You then brush it off as a coincidence and blame the other driver.  But yet, the Universe is always a fair friend, and is unerringly precise in what it’s delivering to you in every given moment.  If your chronic set point is irritated, or you have an underlying, low grade anger, irritability, or impatience going on somewhere in your vibration, the Universe is still responding to that whether you are consciously recognizing it or not.  Of course, the more intense the emotion, the greater the vibration, and the stronger the manifestation.  But even low lying, chronic negative emotion will manifest in some way, shape, or form over time.  So when something seemingly negative happens, check yourself for the extent of ALL the emotions going on within you in that moment – whether they seem related to what manifested or not.  Sometimes, it just takes a little bit of conscious vibrational tweaking to clear out some negative underlying thoughts or emotional patterning that can be introducing negativity into your life.

2.     Are you aware of your underlying belief systems?

In addition to becoming more sensitive to your emotions, you have to begin to recognize and root out underlying negative or dysfunctional belief patterns that might be engrained in your psyche.  These don’t necessary have to be what I call “big” or “important” beliefs.  They can also be small programs that are running frequently.  To continue with the prior example, let’s say a friend is talking to you about how road rage is becoming a bigger problem and she just can’t believe how many angry, crazy drivers there are out there.  You agree with her, recounting a recent example you’ve witnessed yourself and shake your head in disgust.  While that conversation might seem innocuous to you, or you justify it by saying “But, it’s true!” it is still activating a negative vibration within you.  Now, let’s say a few weeks or months go by and you forget all about the conversation with your friend, and you are driving to work on a morning when you’re already feeling irritated, a bit anxious, and impatient- suddenly, another (probably angry and impatient) driver cuts you off!  See?  No coincidence.  Just the Law of Attraction perfectly synchronizing all your emotions and beliefs systems for you.

3.     The Universe is responding with the path of least resistance to what you truly want.  

Finally, once you’ve examined your emotions and underlying beliefs, remember that the Universe has access to both your past and your future (in a way that the conscious mind does not), and is always delivering to you what your truly want in a way that might not be obvious to you in the moment.  For example, you don’t get a job that you really thought you wanted and interviewed well for.  While you may not understand why, the Universe (your Higher Self) understands what you really desire from the perfect job, didn’t see this particular position as a vibrational match, and is lining up a better opportunity for you.  Placing your trust in infinite intelligence and letting go, knowing that everything is always working out for you (if you will allow it), is an important part of the process.

Remember, you are always getting not what you want, but what you are a vibrational match to!  By examining your emotions, belief systems, and learning to let go of resistance and allow, you can learn how to consciously shape your reality and avoid what may seem like the “unexpected.”

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Shift Your Attitude to Create a More Positive New Year

law of attractionAs we near the end of 2013, many of us will naturally reflect on the past year.  It’s easy to focus on the big things, either positive or negative, that happened (or didn’t happen).  Once a big promotion or dream job has manifested, it takes very little mental discipline to be excited or happy- it’s easy to feel joy about something great once it’s right in front of you.  Most people, even the negative and cynical among us, can smile when they see a cute baby or a rainbow.  Similarly, our mind will naturally lament and feel regret over all our unfulfilled desires and dreams (“Another New Year’s Eve and I’m still single!” or “Still need to lose those 20 pounds!” are common complaints that I hear this time of the year, and that give people a license to feel sad).

While I think it’s sometimes helpful to take inventory of what worked and what didn’t this year, simply observing “what is” in your life is not what deliberate creation is all about.  If you follow my writing, you know that I always stress that the only way to create the life of your dreams is from the inside out.  What does this mean?  My favorite analogy is that of the mirror.  When you look in a mirror, you intuitively understand that the mirror is simply a reflection of who you are and what you are projecting. If you smile, the mirror automatically smiles.  If you frown, it reflects a frowning image back.  The mirror does not have its own agenda and does not have the ability to reflect back to you anything you are not already putting out there!  Pretty easy to understand so far, right?

Now here’s the ultimate secret:  the entire Universe and Law of Attraction works in exactly the same way.  What you are attracting into your life is a direct reflection of the energy patterns and belief systems that you innately hold.  This is what the Buddha meant when he said that there is no “out there.”  And “when you control your mind, you control the world.”  These aren’t figurative statements.  “Out there” is literally a series of quantum probabilities that are manifesting as an exact, precise match to the own personal energy frequency you are emitting.  We understand now, even from the latest developments in quantum physics, that the Universe is a holographic projection, or a literal mirror, that is creating and projecting back to you what you already believe about yourself and the world.  Therefore,

A skeptic says, “I’ll believe it when I see it.”

A person who understands the laws of the Universe says, “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

Read those two statements again.  They are not just a play on words; they’re two fundamentally opposing philosophies on life.

Deliberate creation is not observing what is and being happy or sad as a result.  Deliberate creation is creating what is.  It requires focus.  Concentration.  Imagination.  The former makes you a passive  observer.  The latter makes you an active creator.

Just as only a madman looks in a mirror, tries to shake it and manipulate it, and then gets angry that the reflection isn’t shifting the way he wants, only someone who doesn’t understand the laws of Universe tries in vain to manipulate outside events and people, takes uninspired action, and then doesn’t understand why he’s not getting closer to accomplishing his goal.  A sane person understands that the primary shift has to occur within oneself and one’s own energy vibration, then the reflection automatically changes (the Universe literally reflects back to you a different quantum reality which matches your new vibrational frequency.  It doesn’t have a choice in the matter, just as the mirror doesn’t have a choice or agenda).

How does this analogy work in real life?   Let’s say you are focused on a thought or have an underlying belief pattern that goes like this “The world is unfair. Money is going to people it shouldn’t go to.  I’m working hard and yet I’m not getting my fair share!!”  The Universe simply nods in agreement with you, and says, “You’re right!  Here is more evidence of that!”  And then you, despite all your hard work and diligent efforts, can’t seem to catch a break and don’t get what you feel like you really deserve and have worked hard for.  So then you go further, and in an attempt to feel better, blame some outside force- the government, the system, your lousy boss, an unsupportive partner, a weak economy, etc. for being the cause of your failure.  Shaking and manipulating the mirror in an angry temper tantrum just doesn’t work.

Now take another person living in the same world as you, not necessarily someone who is even that talented or brilliant, who has the following core belief system and daily thought patterns “Wow, I’m so lucky and blessed to have such an amazing life.  I just keep having more fun and more great experiences!  Everything just seems to work out for me!”  The Universe simply nods in agreement with this person, and without judgment, delivers a reality to match.  Now, if you’re standing in a negative place, you may be saying to yourself, “Yeah right, who actually thinks like this?  It’s so delusional.”  But I guarantee you, the people that are getting everything they want, do think like this, at least more often than not.  It’s important to note that virtually everyone has some negative, unconscious belief systems or patterning which will show up in different ways in their life (that’s why some people can have more wealth than they know what to do with, but still be struggling with a serious health problem, for example).  But in general, people who are living extraordinary lives have very positive internal set points about themselves, the world, and their ability to create and enjoy what the world has to offer.

While it may seem unfair to you that people just keep getting more of who and what they are already know they are, in actuality, the law of attraction is the quite the fair friend.  Ever present, steady, and consistent, it never fails to coordinate every big and small moment of your life in precise, minute detail to match your own set point.  In fact, the current book I’m working on goes into much greater detail about the process by which this actually occurs, so stay tuned for more articles on that as we hit 2014.

But for now, just remember, You Have To Believe It To See It‼  So like a sane person, begin to make internal shifts in your own attitude and set points.

Until then, many blessings, happy holidays, and a fun New Year to you all!

The Toxic Effects of Guilt

Screen shot 2013-12-05 at 11.03.29 AMI often use my daily meditation practice as a way to surface any underlying negative emotions and clear any resistance that may be holding my energy vibration down.  The analogy I like to use:  you are naturally like a cork bobbing on the surface of the water – you don’t have to do much to keep the cork floating happily along, because that is its inherent nature.  Negative thoughts and emotions, however, act like a hand that’s holding down the cork.  If you simply release the negative emotion, the cork (and your vibrational frequency) will naturally rise back to your true nature – a state of joy, enthusiasm, and love.  Any emotional state other than this is not only unnatural, but research shows that chronic negative emotion and stress is toxic to our cells and hazardous to our health.

So being acutely aware of negative emotion is the first step to recognizing and releasing it.  For this article, I want to focus on a particularly insidious emotion – guilt.  Guilt is one of those tricky emotions that’s hard to pinpoint and even harder to root out.  In its broadest definition, guilt is “an emotion that occurs when a person believes that they have compromised his or her own standards.”  But I’d argue that that definition is not nearly subtle enough for the type of guilt that most people experience (especially women, who in my experience are more prone to obsess and fret than men).

For instance, most people might feel guilty about big offenses like stealing, cheating, or lying.  Negative emotion is not always a bad thing if it helps you identify your moral compass and course correct – it’s called having a conscience.  But what about when our guilt meter goes into overdrive and we start feeling guilty about the unrealistic expectations we’ve set for ourselves?  For instance, I recently started working part-time in order to devote more time to my family and writing.  To be honest, I love my lifestyle and am much happier as a result.  But, I sometimes feel guilty and find myself saying “you’ve worked so hard to get to this point in your career and now you’re getting off the ladder” or “you’re a professional, and you’re not meeting your full earning potential.”  Even though my husband and extended family fully support my decision, I feel my own internal sense of pressure and guilt.  And on and on for goals and expectations that only I’ve set for myself.

After some reflection, and A LOT of meditation, I’ve finally come to peace with many decisions like this, and have found some strategies that help me cope when my guilt meter goes into overdrive.

Get some perspective.

It’s easy to get caught up in the moment and feel negative emotion over petty things that probably aren’t going to matter in the grand scheme of your life.  When you find yourself feeling guilty over something small, just take a step back and ask yourself, “Is this going to matter in 5 years?”  If the answer is yes, then by all means reflect on it more after the initial wave of negative emotion has passed.  Even in instances where the guilt is about something significant, it helps to get some distance.  But if the answer is no, then stop wasting the emotional energy and feeling bad.  For instance, no one is going to remember or care in 5 years if you made cookies from scratch or bought them at the store for that charity bake sale.  But yet these are the small things that women tell me they feel guilty about.  In these cases, it’s important to get some perspective and focus your thoughts and energy on things that are really going to matter in the long run.  Life’s too short to focus on anything but the big stuff and the stuff that makes you happy.  Which leads me to my next point.

Use happiness as your barometer.

If you are feeling guilty about something you’ve done or said (or haven’t done or haven’t said), for example, use this simple test to determine if you need to take action on your guilt: what decision or action makes me happier (now and in the long run)?  It’s as simple as that.  Instead of thinking about what’s expected of you, what people will think, or even what’s best for your friends or family, the most important factor in letting go of your guilt is knowing you took the right path or decision for you.  It may sound selfish, but unless you take care of yourself and do what’s best for you, you have nothing to give to anyone else anyway.  So never feel guilty about doing something that feels right to you or makes you happy. 

Give yourself a break.

It’s easy to sometimes feel guilty and obsess over even the smallest of things.  For instance, I recently talked to one mom who felt guilty for not feeding her infant an all-organic diet.  She was really worried that it would set him up for illness and health problems later on in life.  Certainly, organic foods are beneficial.  But when you create an all or none, perfectionist mindset, you’re setting yourself up for failure and guilt.  That negative emotion is also creating resistance within you, which prevents the Universe from letting the right solutions come to you in the right way and at the right time.  So learn to give yourself a break.  This simplistic advice someone once gave me works wonders – just do the best you can, and let the Universe take care of the rest.   In this instance, do your best to feed your child healthy a healthy diet, but trust that you don’t always have to get it right to have a healthy, happy child.

 Rationalize a decision, and move on.

This is something that guys are really good at (generally speaking) and for some reason comes much harder to women.  Guys tend to think more linearly, and once they make a decision, they tend to get lined up with it and justify it to themselves.  Women, on the other hand, tend to second guess themselves, and play the “shoulda, coulda, woulda” game.  Women tend to look at things from many different angles, which is helpful to a certain point, but when overdone, can lead to indecisiveness and anxiety about a decision.  This, in turn, can cause guilt and obsessing over decisions made in the past or things to come in the future.  Instead, give yourself the benefit of the doubt that you made the right decision or call based on where you were in your life at that point, and then just move forward.  Don’t obsess or over think it.

Remember, chronic guilt is a toxic emotion that can wreck havoc on our physical and psychological health.  Using these techniques to pinpoint and root out guilt will help you raise your energy frequency, improve your point of attraction, and more quickly manifest your desires.

Is Jealousy Preventing You From Getting What You Want? (Part 2)

Screen shot 2013-11-20 at 3.26.34 AMIn last week’s article, I talked about how negative emotions like jealousy and envy affect our energy and sabotage our manifestation efforts. This week, I want to provide some practical tips on how to recognize and root out these emotions when they do come up, and replace them with positive emotions like confidence, worthiness, security, and self-love instead.

 Step 1- Acknowledge the emotion.

Don’t get frustrated or upset when you find yourself feeling envious or resentful of what someone else has. It’s a natural emotion, and the fact that you are even conscious of it is a huge step in the right direction (some people are so accustomed to subtle negative emotion that they have trouble even identifying a feeling like jealousy). When it comes up, acknowledge it and feel appreciation that it is signaling something important to you about your own belief system.

Step 2- Identify the root cause / underlying belief behind the emotion.

Contrary to popular belief, the root cause of jealousy is not the object of the jealousy (in other words, the other person or what they have). Jealousy stems from a negative core belief about oneself. Some common negative (and incorrect) core beliefs are things like:

I am not worthy of getting what I want.

The Universe / God is not supporting me.

I have to work harder than other people to get what I want, and fortune is rarely on my side.

The other person got what they have through some dubious means, or just got lucky, and is actually not worthy either.

When you feel jealous, check yourself and see if at the core you believe things similar to this. Bring each belief to the surface and root out each belief, one by one. How do you do that?

Step 3- Replace a negative core belief with a positive truth.

Once you recognize that the statements above are  false, and just a symptom of a lack of self-worth and confidence, you can begin to replace them. Remember, you are God or Consciousness in a physical form. There is nothing that you cannot do, be, or have- you simply have to learn to align your thoughts and energy frequency with the frequency of what you want. That’s all the other person is doing as well; it’s not magic- they’ve simply tapped into a positive energy frequency and held their focus there. Here are some positive truths that replace the old low frequency thoughts you were holding:

I am Consciousness in physical form and worthy of all the good things in life. I am deserving by the simple fact that I exist.

I am capable of attracting what I want into my life, and the Universe always has my back.

I inherently know how to love and be loved.

Other people’s success is evidence of the truth of these laws, and gives me hope and inspiration of what is possible in my own life.

While some of these statements may feel a little far-fetched at first (especially if you’re a chronically negative or pessimistic person or you’ve held negative core beliefs for a long time), know that they are truths. The more you begin to acknowledge these truths in your own life, the more they will start making themselves self-evident in your daily experience and help you in creating the life you want.

4 Tips for Dealing with Online Haters

shutterstock_76767721-11By: Dr. Kulkarni

With more of the world creating and consuming information on the internet, online behavior, etiquette, and the rules of engagement are becoming increasingly complex.  Basically, online etiquette is virtually nonexistent.  Sitting behind an anonymous computer screen, with an anonymous screen name, many people feel empowered to say things in comment boxes, chat rooms and on boards that would never say in real life.  In some ways, this creates open, honest, unfiltered dialogue.  On the flip side, it really brings out the dark side of people where they unleash all their frustration, anger, and even boredom through their keyboards.

So what to do if you’re an online writer, blogger, tweeter, or anyone who puts any sort of content out there that people can read and comment on?  These are my top tips for surviving and navigating through the world of online “haters”:

  1. Don’t take it personally.  This seems like an obvious one, but it’s good to remind yourself that the people that are writing nasty or negative comments probably don’t know you in real life.  They have not put as much thought and effort into their words as you probably have into yours, and aren’t as invested in what they’re saying and how it might be hurting you.  Most people just have a knee-jerk reaction, comment on the first thing that comes to mind and move on.  Also remember that some of these people are bored, and it’s much easier for them to tear someone else down than to do something constructive themselves.  So keep a cool head, your emotions in check, resist the urge to respond, and move on.
  2. Know what you’re getting yourself into.  When you voluntarily post your work, writing, or thoughts onto the world wide web, you are by definition exposing yourself to the world (or at least anyone that has access to the site you are posting on).  Take this into consideration before you put something out there on social media, a blog, etc.  If you are writing something that you know in your heart is controversial, that doesn’t necessarily make it wrong to put it out there, but be prepared for the backlash.  And don’t act surprised when it comes.  This is all a part of learning how to handle your online persona.  Having a thick skin is a part of it.  The other part of it is understanding how the majority are going to perceive something, and then tailoring your message to reach your audience most effectively.
  3. Realize that disagreement can be healthy and be utilized as constructive feedback.  On the flip side of the first point, if you see a comment that is well thought out, and written in a respectful manner, but just happens to disagree with you, don’t automatically discount that person as a “hater.”  Varying points of view are necessary for productive dialogue, and people reading your words have different degrees of life experience, perspective, and insight.  Not to mention different value systems and ways of looking at the world.  When something goes out to a broad audience, you should expect dissention.  You can sometimes utilize the feedback to your advantage to help you evolve your own point of view or understand another’s perspective, which will only make you better.
  4. Stay focused on your message.  If you’re reading this, you probably understand Law of Attraction basics.  So you know that split energy or negativity within yourself will cause disturbance in your energy and potentially attract haters.  Try to come from a clear, pure space of love and positive intention in all of your work and writing.  You will never be able to please all of the people all of the time, but focusing on your own strongly positive intention and message will help keep you from being brought down by people at a different energy frequency.  In other words, stay in your own positive mind space, and let your work and words flow from there.  The haters will eventually get bored and move on as well.

***

Dr. Kulkarni is a New York City based physician, spiritual author, and personal coach.  Find her @Dr_Kulkarni or visit www.leveragingthought.com to learn more.

Why National Politics Are Largely Irrelevant To Your Personal Reality

shutterstock_74345122By Dr. Kulkarni

With the recent government shutdown, dysfunctional Washington politics, and passionate opinions on both sides of the political aisle, I’m going to make a bold assertion: what happens in the political world will be largely irrelevant to your personal reality.

There.  I said it.  I know it’s almost blasphemy; we are taught that being politically involved is our civic duty.  That what happens in Washington affects all of us.  That this country is doomed if (fill-in-the-blank with the party you’ve decided is evil) takes control.  And finally, that it is simple common sense to make sure that that the particular party that doesn’t represent our self-interest is stopped.

I don’t disagree with some of these premises.  Obviously, policies on healthcare, the economy, energy, and the environment do affect our daily lives on some level.  I also think in order for a democracy to work (or, rather, a Republic, which is what the United States is), we must make our individual and collective voices heard.

But with those objections preemptively addressed, I’d like you to consider whether or not a Democrat or Republican in the White House is really going to dramatically alter your daily reality.  Have you ever seen a billionaire become poor because a Democrat is now in power?  Sorry to break it to you, but people that are successful and know how to attract wealth on a personal level will just continue to do so.  They will find creative outlets, lucrative business deals, cultivate meaningful relationships, execute on ideas, and utilize the best accountants and lawyers just as they did before.  Sure, they may be taxed more or be faced with greater regulations, but their individual point of attraction and their ability to attract abundance on a spiritual / energy level is something politics won’t change.

On the flip side, do you really think someone who currently lacks abundance is going to magically be catapulted and become wealthy, productive, inspired, and motivated because of a shift in power in Washington?  The truth is, only you, as an individual, are creating your own reality.  You have the power within YOU to create opportunity, motivation, abundance, love, and creativity regardless of the political climate.  And if those traits are blocked within the individual, a shift in political power isn’t really going to help.

Think about your own life:  if you’re reading this, you’ve probably been alive in periods when both a Democrat and a Republican have been in power.  Has the trajectory of your life really changed that much in either case?  Have your relationships, your passions, your inspirations, and your goals been significantly altered?  No Democrat or Republican politician can save you from yourself, or can shift your energy for you.

For all the angst and anger about our national politics and who wins, the truth is, it’s not really affecting your ability to create your own personal reality.  You can choose to be happy, healthy, and successful through your personal choices.  And it’s these choices that are the true, effective catalysts in creating the changes you seek and the life you want, not the speech that some guy in Washington gave on election night.

***

Dr. Kulkarni is a New York City based physician, spiritual author, and personal coach.  Find her @Dr_Kulkarni or visitwww.leveragingthought.com to learn more.

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