Tag Archives: elderly

Watch: Hilarious 88-Year Old Woman Creates Ellen’s Favorite Show Moment

Gladys Hardy of Austin, Texas is a dedicated watcher of “Ellen.” She loves the show. In fact, she loves it so much that she called the show’s hotline to insist that Ellen move the spiked plant situated behind her chair due to its distracting nature when Ellen’s face lined up right in front of it. What a caring and observational viewer, right?

Since Gladys was so gracious with her advice Ellen decided to call her back and ask for more suggestions to help improve the show – and Gladys was only so glad to help! Watch as this endearing woman complains about the local news and tells the hilarious story of the first time she was on television.

We don’t blame you at all for drinking a little bit Gladys – have some fun! We think it’s a shame that traveling is too bothersome for you to come to the show though (those liquid restrictions are instense). We would have loved to see you on air, but thank you for giving us a reason to smile about over the phone!

What did you think of Gladys’s advice and conversation? Let us know your favorite Ellen moments in the comments below!

Will We Meet Again?

All elderly people they were: chattering away, and had their been little kids in the room, or even their big kids starting to lose their hair and with widening waist lines, the stories might not have been the same. Comments would have been edited out before leaving the lips of a laughing eighty five year old. Sarcastic remarks might have not left the lips of a sparking ninety year old woman who takes perfect care of herself. They were all attending  a family event. People came from all around the country. What a wonderful week it was as they all shared stories and caught up on the gossip that had laid dormant for many years.  Oh what fun it was to talk about their children, their grandchildren, and in this day and age, their GREAT grandchildren.  Gathered around the dining table, and it was even nice not to have any little kids underfoot.   Plus any small kids might have tripped over walkers and the chords that led to the oxygen tank as they would not have been accustomed to watching out for so many life sustaining health aids.

It was time for everyone to go home. It took longer than usual for people to load their cars.  One 85 year old man with severe knee problems had to move a suit case slowly. Some slightly younger in the room were in conflict as they tried to decide whether to help him or let him have his pride.  No one helped him. Suitcase loaded, and having helped his wife into their car, which by the way he was prepared to drive for several hours, he came back into the room.  Across the room sat his sister who had traveled long and far to see the family.  His look became more intense as he approached her.  His arms went around her, and he fought the tears that he would never show anyone, clown that he is.  He hugged her with a longer hug than ever before, and slowly left the room, wonderful "will we meet again?"

As we get older and visit with our loved ones, the parting becomes bitter sweet as we do not know if we will see each other in person ever again. Yes we will be on the phone, and if we  have caught up with technology we will be on-line, on text, and maybe EVEN on twitter.  But our eyes may never meet again, and our arms may never reach out to each other in a long and intense hug. 

As a psychic medium, I know from experience, that we will meet again and be together eternally.   But life on earth is very special.   This story reminds us to visit each other as much as we can, even if we are younger and think we are invincible.  Life is fragile and one never knows.

 (If you think this message will be helpful to someone you know, please pas it on.)

Psychic Medium and Inspirational Author Carole Lynne

www.carolelynne.com

www.carolelynnecosmicconnection.com

6 Ways to Protect Elderly Relatives from Identity Theft

Senior Citizens are more vulnerable to Identity Theft because they are more trusting and less aware of the increasing variety of scams. Although most of our older relatives have no interests in the complexities of smart phones, computers, the Internet, and online banking; many that give it a try leave themselves defenseless against thieves.

 

The Elderly can be easily targeted online or through the mail in old fashioned schemes to steal their identity and ultimately their money. They are more likely to tell a stranger stories of their past that include simple password reminders (birth date, city, childhood pet, etc). They are less likely to suspect that an interested individual is a con-artist and not just a new friend. They can also be conned through the phone or in person by thieves impersonating a representative from a charity or a well-known company.

Although it is impossible to be fully protected from Identity Theft here are a few ways that you can keep them protected.

  1. Online Security. Encourage them to continue to bank in person rather than online and have the bank inform you of any purchase over a certain dollar amount. Also, install security software on any computer they use and keep it up to date. If they do click on a link including a virus their computer and information will be more protected.
  2. Freeze their credit. A credit freeze is the fastest and easiest way to protect yourself from Identity Theft. A credit freeze is simply an agreement you make with the three main credit reporting bureaus (Experian, Equifax and TransUnion) that they won’t allow new accounts (credit card, banking, brokerage, loans, rental agreements, etc.) to be attached to your name/social security number unless you contact the credit bureau, give them a password and allow them to unfreeze or thaw your account for a short period of time. Yes, freezing your credit takes a bit of time (maybe an hour of work), can be a little inconvenient when you want to set up a new account) and it can cost a few dollars (generally about $10 to unfreeze, a small price compared to the recovery costs of identity theft). And it is worth it!
  3. Credit Check and Monitoring Service. If you are not going to do a credit freeze, then frequently check their credit report with them to make sure they understand if any new accounts have been opened. You can even use an Identity Theft Monitoring Service for as little as $10 a month to help you keep an eye out for suspicious activity.
  4. Opt Out. Have them opt out of junk mail that comes from financial institutions. They can do this by going towww.OptOutPreScreen.com or by calling 1-888-567-8688. This should significantly reduce any pre-approved credit cards or junk mail that may get thrown in the trash and swooped by a dumpster diver.
  5. Buy them a shredder. By shredding anything that has their name, address, birthday, social security number, or account numbers they will be less likely to have their identity stolen through the trash. Teach them what to shred and make it convenient. If it’s not as close as the trash can, they won’t use it.
  6. Keep them Informed. By staying current on the newest scams and social engineering techniques you can not only protect yourself, but you can protect others. Whenever you hear of a new scam tell them about it. You can stay current and informed by using Google alerts or subscribing to our newsletter.

John Sileo is the award-winning author of Stolen Lives, Privacy Means Profit (Wiley, August 2010) and the Facebook Safety Survival Guide, a professional Financial Speaker and America’s leading identity theft expert. His clients include the Department of Defense, FTC, FDIC and Pfizer; his recent media appearances include 60 Minutes. Learn more about him at www.Sileo.com  and www.ThinkLikeaSpy.com.

photo: CC Flickr//Ed Yourdon

Two Kinds of Deaths

I notice elderly people a lot. Maybe it’s because I’ve passed the mid-century mark and know I am moving into the later stages of life or maybe it is because my children have moved out of the house; whatever the reason, elderly people catch my eye. Sometimes they are shrunk within a wheelchair being shuttled by a caregiver in white uniform through a grocery store. Sometimes they are vibrant and laughing and getting a Starbucks coffee in front of me. Sometimes they are dying and the subject of attention of my friends or colleagues as their loved ones’ lives slip away. Sometimes they are walking arm in arm in my neighborhood ‘for exercise’ or on holiday ‘for fun’. I saw Jack LaLanne on television recently celebrating his 95th birthday with 95 push-ups and 95 sit-ups. Sometimes they are sitting alone in a nursing home, sad and suffering, just ‘ready to go’.

When I see the elderly I often think about them as children, adolescents, mothers and fathers, business leaders, artists, persons with youthful skin, vibrant laughter and a hunger for life. Then I see them falling into categories – happy and curious, content and blissful, comfortable, struggling, frightened, angry and grasping. While physical discomfort, illness, memory loss, and other ailments affect their outlook, most of all I notice that their attitude toward life seems to shape how they move toward death.

It is as if there are two orientations of attitude that can be described by a metaphor of a funnel. One view in life is looking through the funnel from the narrow side out – this group of elderly seems to share an expansion of view as they age – an openness, a widening of thought, an increasing curiosity. They appreciate life and are curious to see patterns, connect dots of their experiences with that of others across the landscape of life’s experiences. The other group of elderly seem to view life through the other end of the funnel, instead of expanding with age – they seem to contract, to narrow their view, to become more and more focused on a self-oriented view of things, with diminishing curiosity. They become less interested in the world and more focused on what is affecting them.

It is an interesting dichotomy – one group seems to open with age, the other seems to close. With openness, it seems that death is much less frightening as if it is merely another viewpoint of sorts. With the closing of view, death looms large. I think it is analogous to a landscape painting. If the landscape is vast, one tree is but a blip on the horizon; if the landscape is narrow a single tree can consume the canvas.

Perhaps wisdom is the exuberance of youth seen through the widening lens of age, a broad, open perspective on the landscape of life. When one opens with age, exuberance arises because discovery abounds. This discovery requires no movement of sorts, it unfolds from within, from an endless expanse of curiosity and novelty in everyday experiences.

In death approached from this stance of wisdom, fear of the unknown seems to have little space to grow.

Relief in Sharing?

I thought I would just start writing (venting) this afternoon while I am trying to put into perspective my mother’s journey into her ill health and subsequent recent surgery.  Over the last year or so, she had made at least six trips to the emergency room with extreme pain in her lower bowel.  On one of those trips she decided to go home and suffer because the emergency room was too crowded and she felt too ill to stay.  My sister took her back home and Mom felt better by the next day.  She has been admitted repeatedly and kept in the hospital for up to a week at a time while the doctors have ordered all kinds of X-rays, MRIs, CAT scans, etc. trying to find out what was the cause of her pain.  She was always sent home with no conclusive diagnosis or advice to her.  She is 83 years old.

However this last time she went to the hospital, and after they had done the same routine tests–that had never found the cause before–she had an attack of pain while in the hospital (they were just about ready to discharge her again) and decided to do an exploratory surgery on her.  So on July11th of last month they opened her up and found a great deal of dense adhesions that had grown into her abdominal wall and parts of her bowel that were in a state of necrosis and disease.  In the doctor’s report that my sisters and I read yesterday, they reported that they had never seen such dense adhesions before and that they couldn’t even tell if she had a gall bladder or not because of the overgrowth of scar tissue.  (Her gall bladder had been removed many years prior).  These adhesions can form from previous bowel operations (which Mom had had about 20 years previous).  So the doctors removed a portion of her diseased small intestine along with the adhesions and were confident that this would relieve her problem.  After a week in the hospital, Mom went to a rehabilitation center for further care and physical therapy to get her strength back before returning home.  My youngest sister came from out of state to be at home with her when she was released from rehab.

Mom had been gaining strength and attended her daily physical therapy treatments for sometimes up to two hours at a time.  She’s a real trooper for her age!  But then she started having these bouts of indigestion and vomiting.  She would try to eat but her meals would not digest.  We didn’t know what to think.

Yesterday she had her routine followup appointment with the surgeon who performed the operation on her (two of my sisters and I went with her) and he was very concerned to hear of her continuing problem.  He advised that she go back into the hospital for more tests and X-rays to try to find the cause–he said perhaps there was an obstruction somewhere that they had not seen.  So we took her straight from his office back to the hospital.

So here we go again.  I feel angry that it took so many trips to the hospital (and much needless suffering for my mother and all of her children) for the doctors to find the problem.  What good are MRIs, CAT scans and X-rays if they don’t show you everything?!  And they did the same tests over and over again each time she went in there!

My mothers problem was found in her small intestine, what good does a colonoscopy do (which she had had three months ago) that only checks the large intestine?  Am I missing something here?

I will be writing a terse letter to the hospital regarding my mother’s care and treatment and perhaps something will change.  If nothing else, I’ll feel like I tried.

We are praying that they will not need to open her back up and repeat another operation on her.

We also have been horrified at what the rehab center fed to Mom while she was there–all of us kids are into very healthy whole foods (I and my two brothers are vegetarians).  One meal she was served was a "mystery" meat that even Mom couldn’t identify with greasy gravy on it!  This for a woman who just had bowel surgery!  And white bread?  I haven’t eaten white bread since I was a teenager!  We asked Mom if we could request a vegetarian diet for her while in rehab but she said no.  She also loves her sweets and unhealthy snacks.  What to do?

People in the healing industry should know more about nutrition and how to feed people that are trying to regain their strength and energy.  I just don’t get it!  But wait, I do get it–these people are not in the healing industry–they are in the money making business.  Oh, silly me, I forgot!

But of course, Mom has to take a lot of the responsibility for her own predicament.  She is the one who has made the choices that have created the consequenses of a low fiber, high sugar, meat-filled diet.  We have tried to no avail to get her to try another way of eating, even going so far as to remove all the junk food from her house during one of her visits to the hospital and replacing them with healthier alternatives.  But before long, there appeared her cookies and snacks again.

It just makes me marvel, that in spite of how crappy you can treat your body–it tries valiantly to keep going!

What are the critical thinking ethics learning tools to teach kids how to avoid organized crime through the course of their live

What are the critical thinking ethics learning tools to teach kids how to avoid organized crime through the course of their lives?
 

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Those Who Came Before: Turning to Ancestors for Guidance

Many entities assume the role of spirit guide. Throughout our lives, we may call upon angels, animal and nature spirits, ascended masters, and celestial guardians for aid, protection, and support. Our ancestors represent another wellspring from which we may draw wisdom in times of need for they, too, can act as our spirit guides. Since our forbears spent at least one lifetime experiencing the tribulations that are a part of human existence, the perspective they can offer is a uniquely grounded one. Ancestral spirit guides can empathize with our fears and our frailties, worry, temptation, and feelings of insecurity. Once you have requested their guidance, they will see to it that you emerge unscathed on the far side of conflicts and are well-equipped to fulfill your potential.

If your relationship with your relatives was strained when they were earthbound or you feel disconnected from your heritage, the thought of asking your ancestors for aid can be disconcerting. But when the soul takes on its spirit form, it becomes pure light. Your ancestors, regardless of who or what they were in life, are monitoring your life’s journey because you are their progeny and they want to see you do your best. You can communicate with them directly, as well as through meditation, your dreams, or the written word. Creating an altar or shrine that displays images of your forbears or objects owned by them can help you connect with individual ancestors. The guidance they provide may take many forms as each ancestral spirit guide retains its individual identity and will thus have its own style of communication. If your ancestors do not speak to you directly or visit you in your dreams, examine your life to determine whether they are replying to your queries subconsciously.

When you make contact with your forbears, thank them for being a part of the web of intent that gave you life. Honoring their wisdom and experience can make your life seem larger and richer. Like other spirit guides, your ancestors won’t interfere with your choices or attempt to deprive you of free will. They will only do their best to answer your questions and provide you with all the love, aid, and guidance you ask for in order to help you evolve as an individual.

 

For more inspiration, visit DailyOM.

Older People Need More Sunshine

  A study from the University of Warwick in England shows that more time in the sun can help older people avoid diabetes and heart attacks (Diabetes Care, July 2009).  They evaluated 3,262 people aged 50-70 years old in Beijing and Shanghai, China, and found that 94 percent were low in vitamin D and 42 percent had
metabolic syndrome: abdominal obesity, high triglycerides, low HDL and high blood sugar levels. This is consistent with world-wide studies that show that as people age their skin atrophies, reducing their ability to make vitamin D from sunlight.  Seniors also usually exercise less so they do not go outside as often. Since they are more susceptible to cold, they usually wear more clothing when they do go outside. Inadequate vitamin D increases risk for heart attacks, strokes, certain cancers, arthritis, auto-immune diseases and many other health problems.

A major function of vitamin D is to increase absorption of calcium from food. When vitamin D levels are low, body levels of ionized calcioum drop. This forces the parathyroid glands to increase production of parathyroid hormone that blocks insulin receptors, to raise blood sugar levels markedly and increase production of insulin. High levels of insulin constrict coronary arteries to cause heart attacks.

Vitamin D deficiency occurs when the concentration of D3 (25-hydroxy-vitamin D) is less than 75 nmol/L.  If you are deficient, you need to expose skin to more sunlight or take at least 2000 IU of vitamin D3 per day.  To address skin cancer concerns, protect the most frequently exposed areas, since it is cumulative life-long exposure to sunlight that increases risk for skin cancer.  For most people, this means you should use sunscreen or wear clothing to cover your face, scalp, neck, tops of the ears, forearms and hands whenever you will be in the sun for more than 30 minutes.

Elderly Counseling

 Question:

As an "elder Law" attorney, I counsel clients daily who are experiencing the "losses" associated with declining bodies and minds.  But I KNOW that the real self is intact and eternal and  PERHAPS that this time of decline is a time to FINALLY realize their essential connection to God.
 
 I am interested in studying this area, specifically, I believe it is an understudied and potentially important tool in working with those suffering from Alzheimer’s.  If we can remind them that they are not their mind, just as we are not their body, we can show them that they have a truer connection to their spirit BECAUSE of the removal of their minds barriers.  
 
Could you give me some direction, who to talk to of where to go to study in this area?
thank you in advance for any assistance you might offer.
 
Answer:
 
I agree that this is a neglected and yet important area that you could be of service in.
The key to helping the elderly with this knowledge of their real self is to first of all determine whether they are receptive at this time  or not. If they are, then you also need to assess what tradition or language you believe they can most easily take it in. For instance someone without a religious background may not be interested in a Kabbalist or Christian exposition on their essential connection to God.
 
My books “How to Know God” and “Life After Death” could be helpful study tools for you. I can also recommend Sogyal Rinpoche’s “The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying.”
 
Love,
Deepak
 

Sex, Death and Illness

Lester liked me.  I was warm and pretty.  I showed interest in his opinions and listened to his stories.  We would speak on the phone for a long time and when I sat near his bed, he would grab my hand and include a sexual innuendo in our conversation.  At 83-years-old, he had forgotten much of life, but he was never far from remembering the fun of erotic excitement.  Typically, older men welcome all wisps of sensual pleasure and luxuriate in remote memories of erotic fulfillment.   They feel respect and gratitude for a woman’s presence that one rarely finds in the young.   

Alice is a spunky 72.  She wears her, silver hair pulled up in a French twist.  Her last boyfriend, Paul, was 34.  “He was so immature” she muttered.  “But oh so cute and fun to look at.”  Alice beamed with pleasure when she complained about Paul that way.  It was a brief affair but the flame that has been ignited in her body had brightened her spirit ever since. 

There is a sophistication that comes after decades of wrestling with the erotic aspect of life.  When a person knows their body’s hungers and limitations, peacefulness can prevail over tension.  The elderly are not plagued by their sexual inclinations.  Erotic thoughts neither torment nor frighten.  

Society belittles the elderly and their “lecherous” sex. We deem it unnecessary.  But if we could calmly appreciate the subtleties of sensuality and touch, as do the elderly, wouldn’t we be happier?  If we reveled in the sexual energy dripping off beautiful, young people, would that not be a lovely addition to each day? 

Yesterday I helped insert a catheter into Lester’s urethra, the tube through which urine leaves his body.  He had lost the ability to control his bladder and the catheter would insure that his urine went from the opening at the end of his penis, through a tube and into a plastic bag, rather than all over the bed.  As I looked at his genitals I noticed how childlike they were.  There was no hint of mature masculinity left, no aura of potential.  According to the great sages of Oriental medicine, when vitality leaves a man’s penis, his health is in jeopardy.  The sexual spark holds the essence of life.  Without sexual potential, life in its entirety becomes precarious.   This was the first time I had been around Lester and not felt his spark.  It had always come out somehow, in his light, caustic, banter or the sudden, slight hint of color in his usually empty cheeks. 

I have the privilege of lecturing at an up-coming cancer conference for medical doctors.  I will spend a day reminding them how important it is to support their patients’ sexual identities during treatment. We forget the infirm also keep their genitals with them.  Personal identity hinges on our gender and an individual’s sense of dignity cannot easily survive the callousness of being treated as sexless.   

I told John and Clara how important it was to hold tight to their erotic past.  He was 46 and dying of cancer.  They had been married 25 years.  “ I don’t care how low your weight gets” I told him, “climb on top of her and feel the wonderful familiarity. You don’t need to have an erection or any sense of sexual excitement.” In truth I did not expect him to feel any urges as his body was riddled with both tumors and toxic chemicals.  It is not important to perform the act.  It is only necessary to feel its sacredness.  It is the truth within our sexual love that deserves recognition.  The act itself will come and go.  Some decades we are up for it.  Some we aren’t.   

Jim rolled over slowly and painfully, with Clara’s help, on top of her in bed.  He lay his head on her chest and felt the loveliness of her breasts.  Her breasts had nursed both of their babies, had given them years of pleasure, and felt like home. His pelvis found the familiar angles of her hips and she received what was left of his weight with joy.   Even during the darkest days of their lives, they rediscovered joy simply by “assuming the position”.  After Jim died, Clara told me he had felt happiest when they lay together than at any other time during his illness.  No matter the fury of the disease, his masculinity was, temporarily, more powerful.  No matter the time remaining, this was their moment.  Their bodies were old friends and sexuality had been the means through which this friendship had been cultivated and maintained.   

Our journey on earth is a somatic experience.  The difference between being alive and being dead is having a body and living through the experience of it.  Do not run from the urges that bring light to the eyes of even the weakest.  Instead, recognize the majesty in this hunger and all its manifestations.  Become a student of this holiness.    

Your sexuality is precious whether you know, fear, love, express or hide it.  You can use it to love another person, and to respect your self, understanding more about your rightful place in life.  

Many of you have written to me.  You are hurting, you are non-orgasmic, you are unable to control ejaculation, can’t please your partner, or are wounded from old traumas, Some are grateful to have found a new beloved while others are suffocating with a stagnant one.  You are everything, a wonderful collage of life’s yearnings.  But no matter your challenge, you all want to increase your sexual self-respect and mastery.   

My first recommendation is: Remember that sexual love is the expression of life’s desire to continue.  Sex brought you into this world and will provide its greatest joys, if you let it.  Respect it in others, in the sick, the dying, the old, the ugly.  Its majesty is reflected not only in the dramatic, vigorous acts of the young but also in the subtle caress that comes with maturity.  Stroke the hand of a sick or elderly person.  Watch the sparkle come back into their eyes. 

This article is dedicated to Lester, who left us today. 

 

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