Tag Archives: emily pereira monroe

Navigate Beyond Fear by Finding Safety in the Moment

amazing-sky-amazing-sky-moon-clouds-1400x1050If you’re above the age of – let’s say six – then chances are you are well versed in life’s ability to throw a swift curve ball at the worst possible moment. Perhaps you’ve discovered what I have: at times those curve balls oddly resemble cruise missiles. When something blows up in your life and compromises your work, your love, and your beautiful plans, it’s common to want to immediately go into disaster control. And while what I’m about to share may feel counter-intuitive, in many cases, it’s the best thing you can do.

Nothing.

Doing nothing allows you time to process whatever emotions are coming up for you, and get clear on how you feel about your situation. If this means watching 17 episodes of Nashville in a row, eating ice cream for dinner and sobbing yourself to sleep, that’s what it means. Eventually, when you emerge from the wreckage- maybe after a day, maybe a week, or longer, you will need a plan. But often times things aren’t clear yet, and even the best options available seem terrifying or bleak at best.

In times like these, I’ve found the most effective thing to do is remind myself: I am safe in this moment.

Opposed to the gravity of whatever you may be going through, this mantra may seem ridiculously simple, but I assure you it’s your most powerful ally against fear, because 99.9% of the time it’s true.

Fear can feel very real, paralyze us, debilitate us and rob us of our happiness. To get beyond it, you may need to say this mantra ten, fifty, or one hundred times a day. But the more you say it, the more you will remember that you are actually OK, and things will begin to shift. Recognizing you are safe in the moment allows you to be the eye of the hurricane, and actually ensures your safety and well being for the future. Your vibration today dictates your tomorrows.

YOU ARE SAFE IN THIS MOMENT.

7 Ways to Let Go and Watch Your Life Flourish

if it makes you fly...

By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond the winning. -Lao Tzu

So often we think we need more to be happy, when in actuality we just need to let go of limiting beliefs and erroneous understandings. The following are 7 things you can let go of right now that are part of my continual practice, which I know yield significant results!

1. Let go of living your life for your parents.

From a very young age we seek approval and acceptance from our parents because generally we’d be rewarded if we did what they pleased. As we grow the stakes become higher. If we aren’t careful we end up living our entire lives by our parents expectations without ever understanding what it truly means to be ourselves. Performance is exhausting, and when you are performing you are out of affinity with yourself. Authentic people are happy because life becomes an effortless expression of who they are. Let go of what your parents want for you, and unapologetically be your authentic self.

2. Let go of negativity.

Every single word that leaves your lips has an energy vibration attached to it, and what you put out to the universe comes back to you. We unconsciously complain about insignificant things like the weather, traffic, a plane delay, with no understanding we humans are gigantic energy systems generating a vibration that serves as a magnet drawing things of matching frequency to us. Life is in your mind. Detox yourself from your negative talk, and watch your perspective of the world around you change.

3. Let go of the need be right.

It seems like “being right” has a dynamo PR team spinning the virtues of being right, with promises of love, riches and security in heaping measures to the extent that the idea of being wrong has become so horribly unacceptable. The reality is the need to constantly be right is an external sign that something is very not right on the inside. The need to be stubbornly right is an attempt to control things, which stems from deep fear and non-trust of you. The next time you find yourself going toe-to-toe with someone ask yourself, do I want to be right or do I want to be happy?

4. Let go of judgments.

Judgments are the killer of creativity, and consciousness, yet we judge all the time. We have a very finite understanding of what is right or wrong and we criticize and judge people for being different, and ourselves for not being good enough. If we can take a step back and recognize that 99%of people simply operating off the information they’ve been given, we grow into greater compassion and acceptance. It doesn’t mean we have to agree with them, it just means we see the bigger picture. After all, with all the diverse displays of creation, destruction, action and reaction on planet – as messed up as it seems sometimes – we’re all just trying to be OK. Let go of your judgments, and discover how much happier you’ll be.

5. Let go of your excuses.

I wasted years of my life with excuses! “It’s not the right time, I need some training, I’m not sure…blah, blah, blah.”

Excuses are nothing more than fear of failure. The most effective way I know to neutralize these fears is to simply be the beginner. The moment is NOW. Set a photo directive and start before you’re ready! You and your trusty pal, Google, can figure it out together. There is boldness in action, and when you take action it’s like sending a flare signal to the universe attracting all that you need right to you! Get going!

6. Let go of the past.

The past. Everyone’s got one. Sometimes we run from it and other times we glorify it, but either way it’s like dead weight shackled to our leg. It happened; it hurt, but now what are you going to do about it? You have a choice. When we stay resentful and focused to the past, we carry a victim (poor me) vibration that makes it very difficult to create what we want. When we let go of it and recognize that every single past event led us to here, where we are gaining consciousness to create a life of our dreams, we vibrate in gratitude – which is a spiritual superpower. Let go and claim your power!

7. Let go of externalizing your love.

This is tricky business, my friends, and one I can’t claim to have completely figured out yet. However I know from the spiritual teachers with whom I personally work that it is possible, and they are exponentially happier because of it. To externalize our love means we’ve made something outside of ourselves the reason for our happiness, and therefore we’ve become dependent on it. This dependency on externals is bound to create unhappiness, because nothing in life is constant and things – whether we want them to or not – will change. To let go of this means if our love, dog, home, money, etc. were to disappear, we would still be OK. It means understanding the true source of love and security comes from within, and is not dependent on that which is external to us. This is the unshakable belief to which I am inching closer, but let’s face it…still have quite a ways to go!

Be the Author of Your Own Life Story

Too young and eager to die from H1N1As a youngster I never felt young. I remember teenagers and adults speaking freely in my presence under the pretext that my seven-year-old psyche was much too naïve to understand such grownup subjects. I let them believe that, but I didn’t miss a thing. Quickly learning straight A’s said I was smart, being athletic meant I was popular, and hanging with the boys made me cool. As I got older, I equated partying with fun, money with success, and a sparkler on an all-important finger with security.

Despite my quick-witted, adventurous, yoga sculpted, high-kickin’ and high-falutin’ life, I repeatedly found myself in a pool of tears on the floor of the beachfront home I shared with my Internet pioneer boyfriend.

In my limited scope of consciousness, I blamed my man. Obviously he wasn’t doing enough for me… for us. This prompted a stubborn case of the “when we’s”, that ruthlessly hijacked me from the present moment. When he stops working so much, then we’ll be happy. When we stop partying so much, then we’ll be happy; when we get engaged, then we’ll be happy. After all, didn’t I have all of the other ingredients that are supposed to create a happy life?

It wasn’t until years after we went our separate ways that I recognized the real source of my sadness. I’d been unconsciously following a script based on the messages I’d soaked up from the fabric around me, and internalized them as my own. Turns out, I wasn’t as savvy as my seven year-old self would have you believe.

My narrow script left little room for creative risks because taking chances might expose my character as not being the image of perfection I was used to portraying. Of course I had no idea I was doing any of this; I just assumed the creative gene had unceremoniously passed me by. So instead, I partied. And believed myself to be a rebel in doing so, unable to grasp that real rebels don’t escape. They seek truth, and challenge the status quo with the audacity of the truth they’ve uncovered. Rebels walk the walk of the change they wish to see in the world, despite how uncomfortable it may be.

Rather than cultivate my own unique genius and inner beliefs, the competition element in my script attracted me to the smartest, most athletic, most successful alpha male. It read: basking in his glow, girl feels secure. Vulnerability, gratitude and authenticity weren’t traits that had been written into my part, which made fulfillment for much of anything nearly impossible. Looking back, I sometimes wonder how I got along at all with that befuddled script.

As I panned out to a much wider view of reality, I was able to see that while I didn’t necessarily write the script, I’d followed it blindly for years. By identifying the illusions that caused pain, I was able to let go, and open my mind and heart to the possibly of creating a new script. With the understanding that life is merely a reflection of our inner thoughts, I awakened to new information and aligned with spiritual truths. As I did the inner work, I watched in amazement as my life transformed into an vibrant expression of gratitude, acceptance, creative passion and wonder.

When More is Never Enough: My Triumph Over Addiction

200559715-002Food, work, the internet, caffeine, booze, exercise, shopping, lovers… many of us grapple with addiction in some way. Many commonly ascribe genetics to addiction, but it’s actually a complex spiritual condition stemming from unresolved emotional pain. Regardless of whether it is pain originating in childhood, or another lifetime, unresolved pain shows up on the physical plane as a voracious appetite for more. To constantly need something outside of ourselves to be OK is a very legitimate state of dis-ease.

Addiction comes in many shades, and while I (maybe) didn’t look like a person who was suffering from addiction, I, too, used to be trapped in the insatiable cycle of more – that never seemed to be enough. I was young and fit, but it wasn’t enough. I had a good job and a boyfriend, but it wasn’t enough. I had a closet full of designer clothes and a home on the beach, but it wasn’t enough. I didn’t know what was missing exactly, but I still felt like I needed something more, and then I’d be happy.

The belief that more money, more work, more accolades, more food, more alcohol, more clothes, more concerts, more lovers – whatever it may be – will make us whole/better/happier is an indicator that we are in emotional pain. With this corrupted thinking, we believe we are not enough just as we are, making it very difficult to value ourselves. If we can’t value ourselves, it makes it very difficult to value anything thing else we create.

On the spiritual plane, when we’re in emotional pain, we go “out-of-body” as spirit. You may be familiar with going out-of-body from instances when you are driving and suddenly you realize you have no memory of the road you’ve traveled down for the past twenty minutes. Where did you go? If you weren’t there, who was driving the car?

Every spirit creating through physical form is innately a trans-dimensional creator, meaning we go in and out-of-body many times throughout our day. What people call “spacing out” is more accurately understood as “going out” of our physical form. When we are struggling with emotional pain, we go out-of-body more frequently because we are living in a pain body and it doesn’t feel comfortable to be in-body. What’s more, we go out-of-body to a greater degree when we ingest drugs or alcohol. You may recognize how people you know seem to have different personalities (alter egos) when they’ve ingested drugs or alcohol. This is because going out-of-body leaves our bodies open to a number of spirits who then direct through us. Just as if you were to leave your house with the door wide open, lights on, and the music blasting, some people might take up residence in your home and party down while you’re gone- the same goes for your physical form.

In other words, the sensation of lacking control, otherwise known as addiction, is a result of literally not being in-body enough to maintain ownership of your body; therefore multiple spirits direct through you, making it feel like you have an insatiable appetite for more. These spiritual dynamics – compounded with the inability to value ourselves – prompts us to feel like we need even more, sending the cycle of compulsion spinning round ‘n round and making it nearly impossible to sit still and even enjoy the present moment. As we heal old emotional pain, and cultivate our own personal self worth, it becomes easier to be in-body and present in our lives a greater percentage of the time.

Despite the our society’s vague promise that net worth equates to self worth, I discovered that the real seeds to self worth – and ultimately a much happier life – are Dollars funnel.authenticity, vulnerability and integrity. Probably much to my parents’ dismay, these weren’t attributes I emerged with from childhood. I was pretending on the pretending and I didn’t even know I was pretending. Most people don’t. They just know they want more.

So how does one go about cultivating authenticity, vulnerability and integrity?

Authenticity means being true to yourself. Not going with the crowd just because that’s the easiest way to win approval and acceptance. Taking time to truly find what lights you up inside, and not just doing what you think is expected of you from your parents, teachers, and friends. It means making hard and sometimes unpopular choices, but if you find the courage deep inside of you to do so, you’ll find the authenticity, and power, you never knew you didn’t have.

Vulnerability means expressing the full rainbow of emotions we human beings are capable of feeling, rather than just portraying a picture perfect veneer. Only when we are truly honest with others about who we really are, and what we’re experiencing, can we share a genuine heart connection. If you are being validated for an image of perfection you portray, your performance is being validated, not your authentic self; therefore, you don’t feel seen or loved.

One of the most effective ways I’ve found to get comfortable being vulnerable is to create art of any form. Art is effective in drawing out our vulnerabilities because in order to access our creativity, we must suspend our judgment, and let go of fears of what other people might say or think of us. In creating (paintings, music, writing, acting, dance) you are removing the mask you may not even know you hide behind. The more I did this, the more comfortable I got feeling exposed, and discovered in the midst of creative passion, the tell-tale signs of being in body – hot hands and feet, heightened concentration, and unabashed enthusiasm – appeared and I found myself relishing the elusive, present moment. In the throws of inspiration, there was no place I’d rather be, and the last thing I needed was more.

Integrity is being honest with yourself and others. It means telling the truth, and following through with what you’ve committed to do. Integrity is the willingness to apologize when you’re wrong and pave the way for forgiveness. A common saying amongst people healing from addiction is “you are only as sick as your secrets.” Integrity means telling the truth – even when it’s uncomfortable – even when it can get you in trouble. I grew up stretching and bending the truth because I pushed and rebelled, and when I got caught, I didn’t want to get in trouble. Sure I escaped being punished, but years later, in a never-ending quest for more, I found myself in a different kind of trouble. I had fear and shame (emotional pain) and as a result I was “out of body” and on the never-ending quest for more.

I finally resolved to tell the truth, even if my voice shakes. I committed to show up and follow through with what I set out to do; I began creating art, making music and writing. As I cultivated my authenticity, vulnerability, and integrity, I started to experience a contentment I’d never known before, and was surprised to see my addictions lose their grip on me. I still work, eat, shop, drink, love, and of course use the internet, but none of these things dictate my days or nights and rather than feeling like it’s not enough, I feel gratitude for my life and what I’ve created.

I now know the aforementioned practices were immensely powerful because they served as building blocks for what I now know as self worth. While there are certainly many different pathways to healing from addiction, I’ve found it cowers in the face of true self-worth. I realized this one day, when I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, and felt sincere love and respect for the woman staring back at me, and it felt really good to be in her body.

The Secret to Unleashing Your Creative Potential

“In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert’s mind there are few.” -Shunryu Suzuki

Would you believe me if I told you that you’re a wildly creative person? That it doesn’t matter if you’ve never picked up a paintbrush, written a verse, or played a song. Just like breathing, creativity is a quality inherent to being human.

I get it. You just don’t feel creative, or maybe you know it’s there, but you feel blocked. I understand because I didn’t think I had a creative bone in my body for the first 31 years of my life. It wasn’t until I realized I was waging an unconscious war on my creative self that was as able to get in touch with my own unique creative genius.

The problem is perfect. Perfect is narrow; it’s stagnant. Perfect keeps us playing small. Perfect stalls us in our skin, preventing us from engaging in something that might expose us to others as not being, well, perfect. Perfect hijacks our ability to appreciate the present moment as we continually strive to be something we aren’t.

Perfection – while a constant on the glossy pages of magazines – is actually an illusion. Nothing in the natural world is perfect; a snowflake isn’t perfectly symmetrical, a tree doesn’t grow perfectly straight, and human beings aren’t perfect either.

Whether we are conscious of it or not, seeking approval and acceptance from others is an unavoidable side effect of our competition-centric society. While many wax about the benefits of competition creating innovation and moving society forward, the idea that we will be judged for our creations is potent enough to stop many of us from pursuing that one thing that will deliver us the most joy.

For years I had no idea I was trapped in the perfection performance of life – making my choices based on what others would think of me. I felt apathetic about engaging in creative pursuits, telling myself I didn’t have time, or I’d get to it – one day. As I peeled back the layers of my unconsciousness, I came to understand that my fear stemmed from the illusion that only if I was perfect then I’d be worthy of approval, acceptance, and ultimately love and joy.

While in theory it sounds great to pop a pill and suddenly be an expert at guitar or be fluent in another language overnight, this couldn’t be further from the truth. Life is messy; it’s a process. When we forgo the process, we squander opportunities for vulnerability and authenticity – the very qualities that allow us to develop genuine self worth, self-love, and joy.

However, there is a way to reverse this war you’re waging on your creative self. It’s so very simple you might want to brush it aside with thoughts of jamming on a guitar around the campfire, or writing that story humming through your mind. But if you listen closely and take it to heart, you will unleash a powerful passion to create, and in turn create space to relish in the ever-elusive present moment.

All you need to do is: be the beginner. The beginner isn’t expected to know a damn thing, so the beginner never fails.

As children we were beginners in everything we did, and our creativity soared. Studies show that 5-year-old children operate with 80% of their creativity, but by the time they reach twelve, it decreases to 2%.

When I awakened to the reality that it was actually fear of failure masquerading as apathy, I gave myself permission to just be the beginner and create. What started with writing took on the form of a snowball quickly gaining momentum on a steep mountain, and soon I found myself enthused to learn guitar, write music, and sing. Letting go of perfect inspired me to build an art studio in my home for painting and begin jazz dance classes. Most of all letting go of perfect has allowed me to grow into the woman I sensed was hiding deep inside of me; the woman I was quietly destroying with my fear of not being perfect enough.

Be. The. Beginner. And watch the passion create infuse your life with inspiration and joy!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...