Tag Archives: expectation

From Intent.com: I Intend to Love Without Expectation

candleheartI watch the people in my life chase after the elusive and I totally get it. But so much heartbreak is wrapped up in people not meeting your expectation- not saying the right words, not doing the right thing, not being in the right place at the right time. It’s unrealistic and it’s unfair.

This week my intention is to love without expectation. Just full-fledged, wholly abandoned love for those in my life whether or not they have the capacity to love me back. I have all I need and I won’t run out of love.

One of my favorite authors, Eugene Peterson, wrote:

“Every day I put love on the line. There is nothing I am less good at than love. I am far better in competition than in love. I am far better at responding to my instincts and ambitions to get ahead and make my mark than I am at figuring out how to love another. I am schooled and trained in acquisitive skills, in getting my own way. And yet I decide, every day, to set aside what I can do best and attempt what I do very clumsily– open myself to the frustrations and failures of loving, daring to believe that failing in love is better than succeeding in pride.

All this is hazardous work; I live on the edge of defeat all the time. I have never done any of these things to my (or anyone else’s) satisfaction.” (from “A Long Obedience In the Same Direction”)

Whoa. WHOA. He’s right.

I don’t like the idea of holding love for ransom. I don’t like the idea of equating love with winning.

Now, please don’t read this and take it to mean that abuse or neglect is something you should allow to persist in a relationship. That isn’t love.  I’m talking about wanting real love and being willing to give real love in order to find it. Not recklessly. Not flippantly. But taking a risk to treat people how they’d like to be treated in the hopes that one day (even if it’s not right now), they’ll be able to pay it forward. Be the first.

FYI- Every Tuesday Intent.com will start to feature intents set by our users in our weekly newsletter so you can get involved! Next week is about the power of meditation so head to Intent.com and post in our meditation category. And if you have a project or idea you’d like to spread the word about Email MeLissa@Intent.com! We want to help!

A Chopra in Yoga Class and the Intent to Connect

We are midway through week two of our 21 Day Yoga Challenge with Tara Stiles and Sports Club LA and I want to thank all of you that have participated.

There have been a lot of inspiring intents about creating a yoga practice, getting back into it or simply wanting to create a deeper connection. Here are a few of my favorites that I wanted to share with everyone.

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The best thing about starting Intent has been to foster a community that supports each other and pushes themselves to do better things. That’s the real purpose of these challenges – to bring everyone together and encourage each other. Click any of the intents above to support them or adopt them as your own. If you want to join us you can create your own and put it in the yoga category on Intent.com.

And you’re not alone! I’ve been using the challenge to push myself in yoga as well As a Chopra there is this expectation for me to be really good at yoga, but the truth is I’m not. I’m not at all.

One Christmas, Gotham gave me a gift certificate for yoga classes. The certificate was valid for 6 months, and I had not redeemed it. When the guy looked at the certificate, luckily, there was no date on it — so, I lied. I told him, with a sweet smile, that I received it for my birthday in July. Not a moment of Chopra guilt.

As he was putting my info in the system, he furrowed his brows and I knew the question was coming. “Any relation to Deepak?” I nodded. “Yes, he’s my father.” He replied, “Cool. We have his books here.” I looked up, and my fathers face was smiling at me from above the counter.

“Deepak Chopra is your father!!” A woman waiting in line next to me, squealed with delight. “Oh, my God! I love him. Can I touch you? I have never met anyone famous before.” The rest of the people in line peered at me. I smiled awkwardly. “I’m not famous,” I said. “People know my father…”

The woman was right in my face now. “My name is Sarah. I loved his book – 7 Practical Laws of Love.”
Seven Spiritual Laws of Success,” I replied.

Sarah put her mat next to mine. She started telling me about how the Law of Least Resistance had changed her life. The yoga instructor walked in, “I just heard you are Deepak’s daughter,” she announced to the room. “Now, I feel all this pressure!” The other people turned, looking at each other, nodding knowingly. And, then it all went totally downhill. I completely unraveled. It was the moment of truth and the whole room witnessed it.

I kept slipping during Downward Dog Pose. I couldn’t balance during Tree Pose. Forget about even attempting, Sirsasana, the Headstand Pose. Every time I turned to the left, Sarah was ogling me, but also a bit confounded about what I was doing. I felt totally inadequate. I just could not perform. People pretended not to see my awkwardness. Sarah actually stopped looking over. The teacher seemed to have slowed down a bit, embarrassed. Finally, it was Mrtsana, the Corpse Pose, and, thank god, it was over!

I rushed out. I did not glance at Sarah — well, to be honest, she was not even looking at me any more. I did not want to face the teacher. I felt like everyone in the room had discovered my most intimate secret. But as I ran out, the man at the register stopped me. “Hey, Ms. Chopra, could you do us a favor and sign these books?” There was a pile of my dads books on the counter. People started drifting out of the room.

I panicked for a moment. Sarah was looking over my shoulder now. “Oh, wow. I didn’t know Deepak had written a book on yoga.” She actually sounded perplexed. I took a deep breath. I dropped my head in shame. I took another breath. And, then, something miraculous happened. With that breath, somehow, I had re-connected. Another breath. Connection. I was a Chopra. Another breath. Admit it, I suck at yoga. Another breath. That is ok.

I smiled at the man at the register. “Sorry, I really can’t sign those books. They are my father’s, not mine.” Another breath. I started to walk out.

Remember who you are.

“But, you know what,” I turned back in. “I could sign my book, if you carried it…”

Sarah looked up, and the look was coming back into her eyes. The look of hope, the look that there was still something to believe in.
I stood tall, put my hands together in Namaste, and smiled that Chopra smile at her with all of its glory!

Setting goals and intents aren’t about being perfect – it’s about trying. So I hope you try with us!

A Vision For A Gift Economy

 Saturday, August 20th

 A Vision for a Gift Economy

"A gift economy flourishes in Mali, Africa one of the poorest nations on Earth, in materialistic terms. Theirs is a culture of constantly giving to their neighbor, with no immediate expectation of return. Their cultural belief is that by giving, you will also be given to and be taken care of. Hoarding is frowned upon, so people avoid it.

 

It works in the small villages that dot this vast, mostly arid land. Medical care, education, Social Security and other things that many Westerners think are supposed to be provided by the government are handled on a personal basis and somehow, everybody gets what they need.

 

What would happen if everyone on earth lived this way?

 

It would be heavenly – and can easily work in any country, whether the people are rich or poor, in a wet climate or dry, etc. Giving, on all levels, is our collective next step."

– – The Intenders of the Highest Good; Vision Alignment Project

Steve Farrell

Humanity’s Team

World Wide Coordinating Director

 

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