Tag Archives: expert

10 Tips to Help You Find Long-Lasting Love


What’s the key to finding long-lasting love? How many of you know the difference between a fling and real love? Is there an actual recipe to pure, genuine emotional intimacy? Believe it or not, the secret to building a strong romantic relationship is made of a blend of feelings – lust, respect, adoration, trust and many more. Love is artistic and not necessarily scientific. There are times when we fall in love for all the wrong reasons, and even though we know it might damage our soul, we do it anyway. Are you willing to take a leap of faith in the name of love? Here are 10 tips to help you find real love.
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Participate in “OWN” Television Series in Washington DC Area with Iyanla Vanzant!




WHAT: The Oprah Winfrey Network (OWN), is seeking participants for the “Help Desk” series featuring spiritual life coach Iyanla Vanzant!

WHEN:  Sunday January 12th, 2014 (specific time TBA)

WHERE:   WASHINGTON DC area (specific location TBA).

WHO: Iyanla Vanzant is the host of OWN: Oprah Winfrey Network’s Number 1 reality show “Iyanla: Fix My Life,” in which she helps individuals in crisis whose relationships and lives have broken down.   Iyanla is a frequent “Oprah’s Lifeclass” guest teacher and is a regular columnist in O, The Oprah Magazine.  Iyanla is the author of 16 books, including an astounding 5 New York Times’ best sellers, With her no-nonsense approach and underlying message of, “live better by loving yourself,” Iyanla has ignited a universal spark of self-discovery.  Iyanla’s new release, FORGIVENESS: 21 Days to Forgive Everyone for Everything  (SmileyBooks), is on sale now.

Iyanla is an acclaimed spiritual life coach, empowerment orator, minister, Emmy award winner and New York Times best-selling author whose focus on faith, personal development and loving relationships has captivated and inspired audiences around the world.


Help Desk is a television show on OWN that features renowned self-help experts making themselves available in public spaces to provide advice to anyone who needs it.  Help Desk is a deeply substantive series that grounds some of the great wisdom provided by today’s top experts and helps people live better and more fulfilling lives.  Although the event is public, we are looking to secure a select group of participants who will be given priority to sit down with Iyanla.

What we are looking for:

We need people who are seeking advice to help them with a specific life issue or circumstance.   Below are a few examples but we are open to hearing about any particular issues you would like to discuss:

-Divorce or breakup
-Loss of a family member or friend
-Coping with job loss
-Overcoming addiction
-Issues revolving around sexual identity
-Overcoming specific anxieties or fears
-Difficulty with weight loss/eating disorders/body image
-Parenting issues
-Issues surrounding financial hardship
-Sex and relationship issues
-Dissatisfaction with career/feeling trapped.


1. We need applicants to be available during the day on Sunday January 12, 2014 in the Washington DC area. Specific time and location TBA.
2. Provide simple description of yourself (age, profession, relationships status) and contact information (email and phone number).
3.  Photo of yourself
4.  Single paragraph description of the specific life circumstance that you need advice to overcome.
5.  Specific question(s) you would like to ask Iyanla.
6. If selected, applicants will need to sign an Appearance Release.

Send email with answers to the above questions to:    iyanlahelpdesk@gmail.com

Smoke and Mirrors

Years ago I worked pretty hard to build the smoke and mirrors that would make me look as if I had things together—that I was calm and collected and easy and fine.

I put on the funny and added the witty and offered to carpool and volunteer and listen and give good advice and is there anything else I can do—why of course I can do it all. And if I were to be seen as the super mom—the look-she-can-do-it-so-I-should-be-able-to-also gal, then so be it.

I lunched with the girls who were putting on the same show—no nothing’s wrong life is good and let’s throw a summer soiree we’ll invite all the smoke-and-mirror ladies and they will come because they will have to come. And of course, they did and we all bought new handbags for the occasion and had our hair blown out and acted as though we were being photographed.

There is, as always, a price to pay for living this lie, this endless trap that is too easy to fall into in our modern-day isolated put-on-the-show-and never-let-them-see-you-sweat motherhood society.

Sooner or later—it is ineveitable—the smoke will begin to fade and the mirror will crack and we will be seen for exactly what we are without our makeup and shiny hair and the Marc Jacobs bag at our side for protection. It will be revealed that we are all the same.

We are all the same.

If your dust happens to clear before one of the lunching ladies’ does, it will be painful. If you happen to get fat or depressed or to yell at your kids in public even a moment before they do, it will sting. And they will judge. And they will remember. And the moment will sit with you just as it did when you were 13 and shunned by the cool kids in front of the lockers before the class bell rung.

But, rest assurred, their smoke will fade, too.

As adults, we may, at times, feel more mature, more confident, better knowing we’ll go home to our spouse and our kids who will forgive us our dorky ways, but when it comes down to it, when the moment hits and we are vulnerable, we all share raw adolescent self-doubt.

I gave up the smoke and mirror lifestyle years ago, and though it may not be seamless or pretty or clean, I now go about my life openly showing my faults.

As Don Miguel Ruiz points out in “The Four Agreements”, most compliments are given by someone who’s senses are hightened to that topic. For example, if someone comments on the fact that it seems you have it all figured out, they are probably sensitive to the fact that they don’t.

So now, if someone tells me they think I am put together, I want them to see the safety pins that are holding up my pants and the new age spot on my cheek over which I have plastered several layers of makeup.

I want the person chatting me up at the cocktail party—the one who thinks I’m cool—to know that I tripped and fell on my face on the way in.

I want to let the new mother who thinks I’m an expert because I have three kids know that one time I thought I was in labor because I threw up and my water broke and when I went to the hospital the handsome intern told me I had only peed my pants.

He said it was quite common—which is exactly my point. You may not have peed your pants and been sent home from the hospital without a baby, but you’ve done something just as embarrassing, and so has she and so has he.

It’s time for us to let it all hang out, to put the cards on the table. To be okay with being who we are—the good and the bad—and love the fact that we all share our own ups and downs and gifts and burdens. Our faults make us who we are. They make us better people.

They make us just like everyone else.

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