Tag Archives: Good Morning America

VOD: Why Ideal Beauty is Photoshopped

Good Morning America showed this viral ad of a model being photoshopped a few days ago. The time lapse clip lasts a little over 30 seconds but you can see how one model is completely transformed for whatever campaign they plan to use the image for. It’s not just that her blemishes are touched up or maybe they add a bit of bronzer to her skin. Her eyes are widened, hair lengthened, legs and neck are extended – basically her entire body is re-done. It almost begs the question of why have a model there in the first place? It almost seems cheaper to CGI what they want.

The deeper message here is that we often hold these magazines and ads up as the epitome of beauty that we are supposed to replicate – but it’s impossible. Even the models that pose for the picture don’t meet these standards. So the real question is: why do we let images like these dictate what we think of ourselves? Let’s stop that.

What do you think of the video? Let us know in the comments below! 

VOD: Twin Brother Asks Santa to Save His Sister From Bullying

Screen shot 2013-10-07 at 11.15.25 PMAre you already thinking about what you want for Christmas? When 8-year old Ryan’s mom asked him and his twin sister to write their letters to Santa early (so she could get a head start on saving up for it) the only thing Ryan asked Santa for was to stop the kids at school bullying Amber. “She doesn’t do anything to them,” he says before adding “I’ve been praying for it to stop but God is busy so he needs your help.”

His sister is overweight and suffers from a few mental health issues, their mother admits to “Good Morning America.” So the kids at school taunt her to get her to do different things. “They call me fat, and stupid, and hideous,” the little girl confesses to cameras in one heart breaking part of the video. To make things worse she’s admitted to her mom she sometimes wishes she could die to make it stop.

Luckily for Amber, she has a family that loves her unconditionally and reaches out for her benefit. Her mom had a meeting with the school principal to see about stopping the bullying, and “Good Morning America” surprised Amber with one early Christmas miracle thanks to her brother Ryan’s good will.

Warning: This video will absolutely cause tears, but is definitely worth it.

Share this video if you know of any special child being bullied. What do you think of Ryan’s selfless request for his sister? Tell us in the comments below! 

Thursday Morning Melody: All We Are

If you had to pick one song to be the last one you heard for the rest of your life, what song would it be? Do you think you’d be able to choose? Jessica Stone faced that choice five years ago when doctors discovered tumors in her ear drums. The surgery to remove them would save her life, but it would also leave her deaf.

Jessica chose “All We Are” by Matt Nathanson – a Boston native transplant to San Francisco who is known equally for his self-deprecating, witty stage banter as he is for his heart breaking ballads. “All We Are” is the last track on Nathanson’s breakthrough album “Some Mad Hope.” The song ends the record on a positive note, hoping to push people to be more than they are and into what we could all be. No wonder Jessica picked it as her last song.

Good Morning America  chronicled Jessica’s journey leading up to the surgery and afterwards, including getting the VIP treatment at one of Matt’s shows before she went into surgery. The cameras caught her listening to the song on her iPod as she was rolled into surgery.

You can listen to a stripped down acoustic version of the song in the video below.

Six months after the surgery Jessica Stone found out that she was a candidate for cochlear implants and had them put in! So all in all she was deaf for less than a year, but she still made the courageous leap to have the surgery, and “All We Are” will always have her story attached to make it even more special.

PS. If you loved this song and are in the LA area, Matt is performing at the Wiltern Theater tonight. You should definitely check it out because he has an amazing live show.

What are the songs that touch your heart? Send them to us for our next Thursday Morning Melody! 

How Mothers Unintentionally Harm Their Daughters’ Self-Confidence

 Earlier this week on Good Morning America there was yet another story on the body image crisis affecting our pre-pubescent daughters.

We all know our society is hard on girls and women. It values thinness and "beauty" above all else, and propels our girls, at younger and younger ages, into understanding their worth as indiscriminate, sexually objectified things. Infant bikinis, thongs for tweens, sexually over-the-top pop stars…

But our society is made up of two genders. It’s not only men, but women who encourage girls to concentrate their attention and efforts in the pursuit of skinny, sexy "beauty". In the GMA story, for example, both a mother and a female teacher are called out as shaming little girls into dieting and chasing physical perfection as the ideal features of being female.

Although we don’t mean to, we mothers often model for our daughters our own insecurities and the way we ourselves succumb to ridiculous standards of beauty. When we do this, we pass down our self-loathing to them, and we consciously or unconsciously systematically campaign for their adoption of unhealthy physical obsessions. We talk of dieting, and weight loss. We say we feel fat or ugly. We judge other women. We jump on the bandwagon and buy magazines that pit women against each other, like the Who Wore It Best competitions. And we do this even as we fail to teach them an understanding and appreciation of their healthy sexual development, which would foster a healthy body image.

We focus on what’s unnatural, and disavow them from what is.

If we took the energy we spend, in effect, supporting our daughters in the development of eating disorders, anxiety and depression, and instead spent it on cultivating self assurance and ownership of their bodies, it’s possible it would be easier for them to hold their own against societal pressures.

When we inadvertently make life harder for our girls in these ways, we need to understand that they go on to carry this discomfort and lack of ownership over their bodies into adulthood with them. It undermines their confidence — interpersonally, academically, professionally and sexually — because it demands their attention in a crippling way every day.

A negative body image will affect a daughter’s self worth and her ability to be comfortable in her body in all areas of her life, because if she has a negative body image, then throughout everything she engages in she will, quite literally, be in a body that torments her.

Of the women in my research who expressed their feelings about body image, most reported spending 30-40% of every day thinking about body image, and 46% of them said they focused on it because their mothers did. And they resent their mothers for this.

According to a Wall Street Journareport, one study found 80% of ten-year-old girls had already dieted to lose weight, and another found that girls as young as five have a preoccupation with body image. It also stated that anorexia and bulimia are on the rise.

In addition to starting earlier than we think, these problems also stay with us longer than we’d like to admit. Eating disorder clinics are now treating significantly more women over 30, with one clinic reporting a 400% increase in serving women over 40. From pre-pubescent girls to women in their 60s, these statistics represent millions of females. By simple extended logic, they reveal the struggles of millions of mothers and daughters.

Depending on the intensity and pervasiveness of the body pressures we place on them, or on ourselves and other women in front of them, our daughters can come to believe they’re unworthy, undesirable and unlovable unless they look a certain way. They also witness how we don’t value ourselves as we are, which makes us less idealizable as women in their eyes, and sets them up to lose respect for us.

Women in my practice have taught me that daughters keep these fears and beliefs to themselves because they’re devastating and humiliating. They don’t talk to their mothers about this dynamic because they have little faith that we’ll be able to support them. It’s hard for our daughters to imagine we can help them inspire confidence in themselves when they see we can’t do it for ourselves.

Our own fixation with body image doesn’t just disrupt our relationship to ourselves, it by extension disrupts our daughters’ relationship to themselves. As women in my book confess over and over, a mother’s inability to appreciate the female body and authentic female sexuality causes daughters to lose faith in their mothers’ ability to be confident role models of health and happiness. Then our daughters go on to struggle with the same themes.

As women, we can’t help but be affected by the sexist attitudes we grew up with, but we focus on negative body image with a fervor that belies some of the strides we’ve made toward equality. The issue at hand at this point in history is whether we’re willing to evaluate our own behavior in an effort to lessen the harmful impact of that sexism on behalf of our daughters.

 

 

How Mothers Unintentionally Harm Their Daughters’ Self-Confidence

 Earlier this week on Good Morning America there was yet another story on the body image crisis affecting our pre-pubescent daughters.

 

We all know our society is hard on girls and women. It values thinness and "beauty" above all else, and propels our girls, at younger and younger ages, into understanding their worth as indiscriminate, sexually objectified things. Infant bikinis, thongs for tweens, sexually over-the-top pop stars…

But our society is made up of two genders. It’s not only men, but women who encourage girls to concentrate their attention and efforts in the pursuit of skinny, sexy "beauty". In the GMA story, for example, both a mother and a female teacher are called out as shaming little girls into dieting and chasing physical perfection as the ideal features of being female.

Although we don’t mean to, we mothers often model for our daughters our own insecurities and the way we ourselves succumb to ridiculous standards of beauty. When we do this, we pass down our self-loathing to them, and we consciously or unconsciously systematically campaign for their adoption of unhealthy physical obsessions. We talk of dieting, and weight loss. We say we feel fat or ugly. We judge other women. We jump on the bandwagon and buy magazines that pit women against each other, like the Who Wore It Best competitions. And we do this even as we fail to teach them an understanding and appreciation of their healthy sexual development, which would foster a healthy body image.

We focus on what’s unnatural, and disavow them from what is.

If we took the energy we spend, in effect, supporting our daughters in the development of eating disorders, anxiety and depression, and instead spent it on cultivating self assurance and ownership of their bodies, it’s possible it would be easier for them to hold their own against societal pressures.

When we inadvertently make life harder for our girls in these ways, we need to understand that they go on to carry this discomfort and lack of ownership over their bodies into adulthood with them. It undermines their confidence — interpersonally, academically, professionally and sexually — because it demands their attention in a crippling way every day.

A negative body image will affect a daughter’s self worth and her ability to be comfortable in her body in all areas of her life, because if she has a negative body image, then throughout everything she engages in she will, quite literally, be in a body that torments her.

Of the women in my research who expressed their feelings about body image, most reported spending 30-40% of every day thinking about body image, and 46% of them said they focused on it because their mothers did. And they resent their mothers for this.

According to a Wall Street Journareport, one study found 80% of ten-year-old girls had already dieted to lose weight, and another found that girls as young as five have a preoccupation with body image. It also stated that anorexia and bulimia are on the rise.

In addition to starting earlier than we think, these problems also stay with us longer than we’d like to admit. Eating disorder clinics are now treating significantly more women over 30, with one clinic reporting a 400% increase in serving women over 40. From pre-pubescent girls to women in their 60s, these statistics represent millions of females. By simple extended logic, they reveal the struggles of millions of mothers and daughters.

Depending on the intensity and pervasiveness of the body pressures we place on them, or on ourselves and other women in front of them, our daughters can come to believe they’re unworthy, undesirable and unlovable unless they look a certain way. They also witness how we don’t value ourselves as we are, which makes us less idealizable as women in their eyes, and sets them up to lose respect for us.

Women in my practice have taught me that daughters keep these fears and beliefs to themselves because they’re devastating and humiliating. They don’t talk to their mothers about this dynamic because they have little faith that we’ll be able to support them. It’s hard for our daughters to imagine we can help them inspire confidence in themselves when they see we can’t do it for ourselves.

Our own fixation with body image doesn’t just disrupt our relationship to ourselves, it by extension disrupts our daughters’ relationship to themselves. As women in my book confess over and over, a mother’s inability to appreciate the female body and authentic female sexuality causes daughters to lose faith in their mothers’ ability to be confident role models of health and happiness. Then our daughters go on to struggle with the same themes.

As women, we can’t help but be affected by the sexist attitudes we grew up with, but we focus on negative body image with a fervor that belies some of the strides we’ve made toward equality. The issue at hand at this point in history is whether we’re willing to evaluate our own behavior in an effort to lessen the harmful impact of that sexism on behalf of our daughters.

 

 

How Mothers Unintentionally Harm Their Daughters’ Self-Confidence

 Earlier this week on Good Morning America there was yet another story on the body image crisis affecting our pre-pubescent daughters.

 

We all know our society is hard on girls and women. It values thinness and "beauty" above all else, and propels our girls, at younger and younger ages, into understanding their worth as indiscriminate, sexually objectified things. Infant bikinis, thongs for tweens, sexually over-the-top pop stars…

But our society is made up of two genders. It’s not only men, but women who encourage girls to concentrate their attention and efforts in the pursuit of skinny, sexy "beauty". In the GMA story, for example, both a mother and a female teacher are called out as shaming little girls into dieting and chasing physical perfection as the ideal features of being female.

Although we don’t mean to, we mothers often model for our daughters our own insecurities and the way we ourselves succumb to ridiculous standards of beauty. When we do this, we pass down our self-loathing to them, and we consciously or unconsciously systematically campaign for their adoption of unhealthy physical obsessions. We talk of dieting, and weight loss. We say we feel fat or ugly. We judge other women. We jump on the bandwagon and buy magazines that pit women against each other, like the Who Wore It Best competitions. And we do this even as we fail to teach them an understanding and appreciation of their healthy sexual development, which would foster a healthy body image.

We focus on what’s unnatural, and disavow them from what is.

If we took the energy we spend, in effect, supporting our daughters in the development of eating disorders, anxiety and depression, and instead spent it on cultivating self assurance and ownership of their bodies, it’s possible it would be easier for them to hold their own against societal pressures.

When we inadvertently make life harder for our girls in these ways, we need to understand that they go on to carry this discomfort and lack of ownership over their bodies into adulthood with them. It undermines their confidence — interpersonally, academically, professionally and sexually — because it demands their attention in a crippling way every day.

A negative body image will affect a daughter’s self worth and her ability to be comfortable in her body in all areas of her life, because if she has a negative body image, then throughout everything she engages in she will, quite literally, be in a body that torments her.

Of the women in my research who expressed their feelings about body image, most reported spending 30-40% of every day thinking about body image, and 46% of them said they focused on it because their mothers did. And they resent their mothers for this.

According to a Wall Street Journareport, one study found 80% of ten-year-old girls had already dieted to lose weight, and another found that girls as young as five have a preoccupation with body image. It also stated that anorexia and bulimia are on the rise.

In addition to starting earlier than we think, these problems also stay with us longer than we’d like to admit. Eating disorder clinics are now treating significantly more women over 30, with one clinic reporting a 400% increase in serving women over 40. From pre-pubescent girls to women in their 60s, these statistics represent millions of females. By simple extended logic, they reveal the struggles of millions of mothers and daughters.

Depending on the intensity and pervasiveness of the body pressures we place on them, or on ourselves and other women in front of them, our daughters can come to believe they’re unworthy, undesirable and unlovable unless they look a certain way. They also witness how we don’t value ourselves as we are, which makes us less idealizable as women in their eyes, and sets them up to lose respect for us.

Women in my practice have taught me that daughters keep these fears and beliefs to themselves because they’re devastating and humiliating. They don’t talk to their mothers about this dynamic because they have little faith that we’ll be able to support them. It’s hard for our daughters to imagine we can help them inspire confidence in themselves when they see we can’t do it for ourselves.

Our own fixation with body image doesn’t just disrupt our relationship to ourselves, it by extension disrupts our daughters’ relationship to themselves. As women in my book confess over and over, a mother’s inability to appreciate the female body and authentic female sexuality causes daughters to lose faith in their mothers’ ability to be confident role models of health and happiness. Then our daughters go on to struggle with the same themes.

As women, we can’t help but be affected by the sexist attitudes we grew up with, but we focus on negative body image with a fervor that belies some of the strides we’ve made toward equality. The issue at hand at this point in history is whether we’re willing to evaluate our own behavior in an effort to lessen the harmful impact of that sexism on behalf of our daughters.

 

 

Need Advice?

There are many times in our lives when we need advice.  We’re here to help each other learn and grow, and one way we can do that is by both seeking advice and by offering advice.  I started the “Letters to Lissa” feature on CoffeyTalk for this very reason.

And now, Good Morning America, the popular morning talk show on ABC-TV, is looking for an “Advice Guru!”  I found out about this from a few of our subscribers, who wrote to me saying “this would be perfect for you!”  I checked it out, and absolutely loved the idea, so I applied.  Turns out, more than 15,000 other people applied for the job as well.  GMA looked through all the essays and chose a top 50.  I got a phone call!  It was a GMA producer saying I had made it to the top 50, and now they were doing phone interviews.  This was unexpected.  Time had gone by and I’d pretty much forgotten about the whole thing!  I answered his questions, and sent up a prayer of thanks.  Then a week later, I got another phone call – I made the top 20!  Now they wanted video – three questions answered in just 1 minute 20 seconds. 

So here we are.  The 20 of us are up on the Good Morning America website answering viewers’ questions.  And viewers are rating the questions on a scale of 1-4, 4 being the best.  There are all kinds of social media tools that viewers can utilize to help get the word out about their favorites – if you’re on facebook you can “like” or “share” – if you’re on twitter you can “tweet” – and you can also leave a comment so that producers can get your feedback.

The questions change periodically – we’re on the second one now.  I’m posting the link to the main page where you can see all 20 finalists.  I’d love it if you could click on my page and read the question I got and my answer – give me a vote, write a comment, anything you want to do.  It’s all helpful, and I appreciate your support.  Thanks!

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/DearGMA/

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