Dear healthy readers,
If you’re reading this, you obviously are one of the die-hard LIFE PROs which I appreciate.
I’m really all about helping you get into the right mindset that continues to produce the results you wish to see. So, here is my moment of getting vulnerable and open about a most recent event.
I have written this blog about some feedback I received which I thought was saying more about the person who gave the feedback than about me and my presentation. Nonetheless, I felt it was not fair. The person ultimately accused me of being a "rip-off artist". That didn’t sit well with me.
By definition, a rip-off artist is just out to get your money and run, while his product or service doesn’t: It’s about delivering results and this over 7 weeks. Here is some feedback from a recent client who not only got rid of her emotional barriers but also a physical ailment disappeared because of finally letting go of old negative energy in her system:
I showed off my healed neck to everyone at the party yesterday. Everyone was amazed. I’m spreading your name and program everywhere like Johnny Appleseed. I had two of my nieces (ages 7 and 9) all day Friday and overnight and then to the party. I did really well. My overall condition is great. The pain when I arise in the morning is minimal now – it used to be horrific. The grinding of the tendons when I rotate my head is gone! I am having the slightest spasming once in awhile, but not to the degree that it tilts my head. Just a slight pulling to the right that I can control. I am doing my neck strengthening on the other side to counter balance the muscles.
Denise Cassino was suffering from severe Torti Collis which kept her in pain and prevented her from living a life that was worth living day in and day out. Everyday chores, such as cooking, had become a real "pain in the neck" – excuse the pun.
Here is a picture of her neck, to show you how very bad it was:
If you have attended my Global Teleclass, you have been witness to what I thought was an OK presentation but honestly, it did not do my program justice, neither my otherwise sparkling presentation skills.
So, stay with me whilst you understand that this is not a bad case of my "Inner Critic Gremlin" having a go at me. No, I’m as objective as I can be, talking openly about critique that I received about me and my program.
So, if you want my honest opinion, it wasn’t all that stellar. I can deliver better presentations.
The main thing was that – the time used for introduction of what I was going to present was longer than I had expected and then – due to technical difficulties – the presentation was delayed and I did not get to present one of the vital parts of the call, which was matrix reimprinting.
If you were one who was disappointed about that, if you now want to give me the boot forever, please feel free to unsubscribe. If you want to learn about Matrix Reimprinting from the co-author of the book which is being published by Hay House, join me on 23 August on
Living La Vida Healthy Radio
And, if you are like me, you understand that sometimes when you mess up, you have to honestly say "You messed up!" and keep going. So what! I goofed! It happens to everyone. Nobody was hurt and I can honestly say that this was not the only feedback I received: Here is some positive feedback:
the class was interesting
I think that with the short time that was provided it would have been better not to have the demo. I would have preferred to have the speaker explain more in depth about the L.O.V.E concept and touch on what the matrix is.
The information was great for EFT. She didn’t really go over Matrix Imprinting and that’s the reason I listened in. I felt that the technical difficulties took away from the program.
Felt badly that the phone logistics were difficult to co-ordinate. Feel it took too much time away from the class and inhibited the leader from moving forward with the information. Felt too much delay.
Very much enjoyed this class. Problem with trying to get person on line was mild irritation.
Leader was very good and would love to hear her talk any time on this subject or any other. She was very energetic and very enthusiastic about her subject. I would love to hear more about this topic from her.
And NO, I did not pay this last person to write this review… it’s all volunteering information, which costs time and thought. So, I thank everyone… including the one who offered me the gift of practicing Mental Kung Fu:
Kung Fu translated means "hard work" and I really tried to think hard of how I could make up for the loss that people had by not being able to learn more about Matrix ReImprinting.
So, here is the chance, which I did also repesent but here I was on the receiving side of the coaching relationship on my own radio show with Sasha Allenby
But back to the subject of "How do YOU handle negative feedback?" which is more of interest to me than talking about me.
When disappointment happens it is because you had expectations that were not met. What do you do?
In this case, my expectations were that no technical glitches would happen and I don’t know if it was June’s mention at the beginning of he call that jinxed the class, but I really thought and was convinced that I would not have to deal with technical problems. Did I expect too much?
Here is what I did NOT do: freak out.
I stayed cool like a cucumber.
The demonstration was also very calm and if you were a collector you’d be able to add me to your stamps – that’s how collected I was. I solved the problem and continued, as planned.
What I did not expect was that after I had been given feedback on it, I would read something like this:
She was not a good speaker. She rambled and did not present her material in a very clear fashion. Her talk was not well organized and she didn’t deliver it in the manner that she promised at the beginning of her talk…..she left out half of what she said she was going to talk about. And the fact that she said at the end that she charges $3,000.00 for her service, but was willing to give it away for $600.00 for those on the call, if they called within a limited time period is preposterous. I learned about EFT and how to do it online for free and so can anybody else learn it for free online. I think she’s a ripoff artist. That’s my opinion.
When I received this review, I was naturally taken aback by the insulting way in which the person addressed me. What is obvious is that the person still thinks that the available free material will solve all her problems. If it works for her, great. However, it is obvious that s/he has a severe need for "being heard" and "getting her opinion across"…and a pronounced "lack thinking" and in the way my program works, we could work on all these issues and more, and heal them in no time. But I doubt this person would be able to afford my program.
Not having done his/her own inner balancing work with EFT is another obvious one, your opinions will mirror some of what you think about yourself. Had s/he offered an objective review, she would not have had to resort to "name calling". There might be a slight suppressed anger issue. The use of "labels" might also be a EGO-driven kind of compensation for coming from a place of lack and his/her obvious display of poverty consciousness and not valuing coaching is a subject that could receive a series of books, dedicated just to that.
I would love to ask Denise Cassino to comment below as to how valuable my 7 week program was for her and whether she thinks I’m a scam artist – or whether she received the value of her "time" (I’m not even talking about money, which I could refund if it didn’t work out – time I can’t refund!!!), which is 7 weeks, of working on her issues.
I’m going to do a lot more demonstrations on Matrix Reimprinting and the amazing things it does. Please sign up for the next one that’s upcoming in September with the title:
"Dealing with negative feedback"
This subject really leads us to where our patterns for abusive relationships, alcoholism, drug abuse, and self-loathing, come from and we will explore the very reasons as to why some people respond in this self-destructive way rather than questioning the thoughts that trigger the emotions and asking the questions as to whether it is really true or only a perception, which can change when going into the Matrix, and working on the ECHOs.
I would like to also invite Mike Tyson who could explore with me as to where his belief came from that "I’m a pig" – no, that’s not him saying this about me, it’s him speaking about himself in an article I read recently and I thought "God, please lead me to him so I can help him get over this issue"…and other issues.
In this same article he stated:
"Nah, it’s trauma I’m dealing with. And it’s this fucking ego of mine."
When we experience trauma, part of our consciousness gets split off and we lock our ECHO into the Matrix – this is where it will stay and keep a time-string attached to us, which is on a frequency of emotion that – each time someone hits that frequency – this time-string starts vibrating and resonate with us. That’s when we recall emotional memory, stored in our field and activated by the cellular self-receptors that remind us of this feeling. And here is what I responded to his article (I have no idea whether he would ever get to pick up on this but he will if the time is right for him to receive it – I firmly believe in my serendipitous approach to life and the LOA):
"Trauma is not something that you can fight with your fists. It’s something you have to let go of from your heart. I don’t teach "Zen shit" I teach the ability to see things as they are, without the judgments that come from self-loathing and the inability to forgive. If you ever decide to be ready for your life path to go to the next level and transcend – transcend self-loathing, transcend an unforgiving spirit, and do so from your heart. Forgiving is the most selfish heart-based decision you can ever make for the greater good of ALL those who love you, which is the basis of truth, healing, and true power. Not the fear-based power intimidation of an adversary. The power of L.O.V.E. which essentially means: Letting go of the limiting beliefs you hold, Open up your mind and heart to who you truly are and learn to deeply and completely love and accept yourself, V – the VICTORY which is not over someone in the ring but the one over the negative emotions that are driven by a twisted perception of self and the power of EGO (extremely great obstacle)- and then finally EMERGE beyond what you ever imagined possible by making yourself available for the greater good of all by serving from your heart and embracing the god-given mission you receive to be ALL you can be in this life-time. Only you can decide when the right time has come. And when it has come, the teacher will appear."
Perhaps Mike will listen to this call and decide to take my offer of working on this belief he holds.
Back to this person who commented so strongly: Well, since everyone is entitled to his or her opinion, I take it as that and hope s/he will be able to solve all her issues with the free EFT material available.
What I can also say is, s/he did me a great favor by giving me finally a chance to see how I would react to negative feedback. So, I was reading this and thought to myself: here is YOUR chance to see how YOU can handle negative feedback.
I’m so used to getting positive feedback from my clients, that I was quite spoiled in this regard. But for me, there is a space of learning and growth when something like this unexpectedly challenges me to think:
Wait a minute … IS THIS TRUE?
So, I’m happy I finally get a chance to practice that skill and now my question to you is this:
How do you handle negative feedback? Do you REACT or WITNESS, ACCEPT, THANK the person for the opinion and leave it at that? Or do you start finding fault with yourself, or call the person names, or do you get aggressive in other verbal or physical ways?
Oh, and another valuable lesson I took away from this is:
This confirmed to me again that FREEE doesn’t work for MEEE anymore. So, prepare to pay for the next teleclass I do but I promise that it won’t be anything that you wouldn’t be able to afford. So, if you are prepared to pay for 2 hours of intense matrix work, please do leave me a comment below and I will send you an invitation.
I have done my FREEBIE for the entire year of 2009 and I draw the lesson from it:
"FREE" equals "NOT VALUABLE".
The ultimate conclusion I have is this:
"You can’t please everyone." and "Opinions are a gift with a message from the universe offering an opportunity for learning and growth. Learn to say thank you – if the message contains value for you, take the lesson….if not, say "thank you for offering your opinion but don’t expect me to share it".
On this note, I wish you a sparkling day!
All the best,
Cover Photo: CC Flickr//Vernon Dali