This afternoon I received a call from Peter Gould, the CEO of my company: ‘Lilou, I have bad news.’ He paused for a few seconds.
It seemed an eternity. I had felt the tension in the company, and sensed something bad was about to happen, but nothing could have prepared me for his words: ‘Your job is being made redundant.
We’re not going to be able to keep you any longer.’ My heart was pounding. I asked, ‘So when do you want me to leave?’
He replied, ‘Well, as long as you hand in all the work you have, and do a professional handover, you can leave now.’
In a few seconds, with those few words, my life changed. My future had altered. What was I going to do? I’d been in the job for six months – Internet Marketing Director for a London-based hospitality company. For the previous seven years I had worked in the USA on a self-employed basis. I’d applied for this job from the USA. I was thirsty for a new adventure. I was thrilled, and accepted the position. It’s a dynamic, entrepreneurial company, but I have to say that it wasn’t all plain sailing, especially the last few weeks…
I just accepted the news at face value, trying not to read too much into it. I stayed professional on the phone, and tried to find out more about the practicalities. ‘OK, so how does this work? This has never happened to me.’ Since I had been with the company for only six months, the official policy was to give me only a week’s severance pay. However, as I had relocated from the USA, Peter told me that I’d be given a month’s salary. I thought that was generous, and it was some relief. Peter told me to call Alexis, the HR person, to arrange the details. Before our conversation ended, I asked him to email the 60 employees working in the office to let them know immediately.
He sent an email explaining that I was ‘moving to pastures new’.
Pastures? What is that now? Is this a British way of saying that you have been sacked? I didn’t think so. I had been fired and that was the truth, but that’s not how he put it. He possibly meant to imply that things would be greener for me on the other side…? Yes, that was probably it… I was hopeful.
I was certainly grateful for that smooth and considerate email, as
I did not want to be the recipient of everyone’s sympathy, to look
bad in front my colleagues. I had only worked six months in the
position. Thirty minutes later, HR was in my office, and we discussed
the details of my redundancy.
So that’s the news today: I’ve lost my job.
All afternoon colleagues came into my office and asked me what
I was up to. They wanted juicy details. Under pressure, I started
making up a story that I had some plans that I could not, as yet,
share, but, yes, I was certainly moving to ‘pastures new’, as Peter
had said. All the while, as I was saying to people, ‘It’s been a great
experience, but, you know, it’s time to move on…,’ I was thinking
of what exactly these pastures could be. By the end of the day,
having received numerous visitors and emails, a new scenario was
taking shape in my heart and mind: I was inviting my life to lift off.
The bad news was transmuting into great news. I felt increasingly
liberated by the minute. Here was an opportunity for something new,
an opportunity for something great to start. It was up to me.
I’m back home now, digesting the fact that I was made redundant
today. This is a first. I cannot explain why I now feel such relief! It has
awakened such joy in me – and energy. I look forward to being guided
rapidly to something new and fulfilling, where I can truly develop my
passions and purpose, and prosper to the fullest extent.
I have to admit that I was not happy at work and it was affecting my
entire life, especially the last few weeks, always stressed, working
long hours, sleepless and not feeling like the captain of my own ship.
Yuck! But I have learned a lot there. I have sharpened my skills, but
most importantly I have learned what I did not want. I am extremely
grateful for that.
Now it is time for more – to find something new. I am asking Life to
guide me. This is the time for my dreams to become real…
I LOVE AVOCADOS
It’s three days since I lost my job, and I’m just doing what feels good,
from moment to moment.
I am in the kitchen now. It is time to nourish my body. I am a raw
vegan. For me, the main thing is to eat foods that feel good. For
example, I love avocado. I am holding an avocado right now, and
I definitely want to add it to this beautiful healthy salad I am about
to create. I love the avocado’s richness, its creaminess, and how it
nourishes my body. So yummy!
NEW IDEAS FLOW
Soon after I lost my job I had the revelation that I should keep a
journal as I look for a new job – a dream job – and then make this
journal into a book. This project should help me and, I hope, others
in this time of economic crisis. It should help them find what their
true Selves really want!
I cannot believe how effortlessly the ideas have been flowing since
then. I haven’t stopped writing, whether on the London tube earlier,
or now that I am in the kitchen trying to find the time to eat some
healthy foods. I have all these amazing thoughts, attracting them one
by one. I am really aware of this right now, and very, very grateful.
This flow of ideas has been happening ever since I started asking for
I am so struck by the fact that this is happening at such lightning
speed! I have the thought that, yes, it is going to happen pretty fast,
and, yes, I am going to get a book out of it. It is amazing to be riding
that wave right now and my goal is to keep on feeling that way, to
stay tuned and to feel guided. I am going to focus on anything that
feels good. I am recording every single step, because every step
now is important, as my life unfolds.
MY DIFFICULTIES WERE MEANT TO BE
I think people need this book now. People are losing jobs. Many are
unhappy in their current positions. I wasn’t happy in mine. I stayed
there six months. I had a lot of conflict internally: learning how to
deal with other people and teams, working with women… (Yes, I am
one, but that doesn’t make it easy!) So when I got the news that I
had been sacked I was grateful because I had some understanding
of the Law of Attraction. I knew this was not a coincidence; it was
meant to happen.
And now, a few days later, I understand that there is something
important unfolding. I must share this story to inspire others going
through similar experiences, those who might not have the tools that
I have acquired over the last eight years. So this book is to share
my life with people who really need this support right now. It could
be a guide to help job seekers, job haters, graduates, stay-at-home
moms, and people simply bored with their jobs, not just to find ‘a
job’ but the job, one that corresponds with their desires and needs,
so that they can wake up in the morning, fully alive and passionate
about what they are doing: a job they know that they do well but
which stretches them, one that feels great! That is the kind of job I
am talking about.
I feel a sense of urgency, because people are in real need. I feel
compelled to share this journey – every single step – and the faster it
happens, the sooner the book can go out, the better. I do not think I
am the fastest typist but I can do a pretty good job. As yet, though,
I’m undecided whether to transcribe the memos I’m recording myself,
or attract somebody else to type them up.
A PRECEDENT: NEALE DONALD WALSCH
I had heard about Neale Donald Walsch, and then I saw the movie
of his life, Conversations with God, on DVD about a year ago. After
losing a highly paid job, he also lost his friends and found himself on
the street at about 50 years of age. He kept asking God, ‘Please
God, help me, help me, help me!’ As I remember it, he was sitting
on a sofa one day when he suddenly started to write. He could not
stop writing. I feel exactly the same right now. Walsch said that his
writing was inspired by God.
I am very surprised that, all of a sudden, this is just coming out,
but I realise that it was in me. It was in me and it is just coming out
because I have allowed it to come out. I have asked for guidance. I
have asked for higher guidance and I am receiving it. So I can see
where Walsch was coming from. I remember in the movie the pages
and pages and pages flowing out. He just could not stop.
I remember vividly the moment when God tells him: ‘I am not
concerned about your worldly success, only you are. You are not to
worry about making a living. True masters are those that chose to
make a life rather than a living. Go ahead, do what you really love.
Do nothing else. You have so little time. How can you think for a
moment about making a living from something you don’t like to do?
That is not a living. That is a dying.’