The end of the year is nearly here, and if you are planning to set a New Year’s resolution you are not alone. According to this Forbes article, over 40 percent of Americans make resolutions; however, after six months only 46 percent of people are able to maintain their goals. In other words, the odds are not in your favor, yet, if you are willing to change your mindset the chance of sustaining your resolutions greatly improves.
Further, the good news is that change is possible. The brain science behind neuroplasticity teaches that our brains are able not only to adapt to change, but are able to form new connections. With training and practice our brain is able to create new patterns.
There are things you can do to optimize the chance you can succeed and reach your goals.
Here are Five Things to Help You Sustain Your New Year’s resolutions: Continue reading
Failure is a part of life. You can call it whatever you want, a setback, an emotional let down, a breakup, a loss, but part of the reason why the experience is so incredibly painful is because at some level you feel you failed. You might be reluctant to admit this even to yourself, so you outwardly you label it as growing pains or transition; however, inwardly you’re a mess.
When it comes to grief many times those who love and know someone experiencing loss want to offer assistance; however, they are unsure of just where to begin. There are things that one can do that are not only meaningful, but also needed.
About four years ago, I began to do research for my book, “A Widow’s Guide to Healing” and I interviewed widows from all different backgrounds about their experiences. The widows often reported that one of the most frustrating things about their grief was that others seemed to ignore them, and didn’t offer any help. It may be the case that some well- meaning people simply do not know what to do and instead of stepping in to ask how they can help, they just walk away.
Here are seven things you can do to help someone in grief: Continue reading
A few weeks ago I had the honor of being a panelist at The Parliament of World Religions conference in Salt Lake City. The Parliament of World Religions held its first conference in 1893, and since this date has attracted such remarkable speakers including: His Holiness The Dalai Lama, former president Jimmy Carter, Dr. Jane Goodall, Dr. Vandana Shiva, and Dr. Eboo Patel.
In September, I was in New York City when a professor asked me in person if I would be willing to join a Parliament panel and talk about my book, A Widow’s Guide to Healing, and immediately my heart was in my throat. It was not one of my finer professional moments as I couldn’t even muster up the words, “Thank you.” I didn’t answer “yes”. I said I had to think about it and this was partly true. I would need to make travel and work arrangements to get coverage at my day job, where I am a clinical social worker. The other part that I did not share was that I was scared. I was intimidated by the nature of such a large conference, attracting 10k people from 80 different nations and 50 different faiths, and the other panelists I knew had doctoral degrees from fancy ivy- league schools. I flew home and thought long and hard about this amazing opportunity and why I was so reluctant to accept it. Deep down I knew that it was my own insecurity because I had never have spoken in a panel format and I didn’t want to disappoint anyone, especially since I realized that the professor was taking a risk in even asking me to participate.
And a few days later, it occurred to me that I needed to revisit my original intent in writing my book. The intent was to be able to share the narratives of other widows so that a widow would be able to find herself in one of these stories and feel less alone. Before writing my book, the words that C.S. Lewis wrote “We read to know that we are not alone” rang true to me. And I know first- hand how lonely and scared grief can leave a person. I was 33 in 2007 when my husband, Roy, died from advanced adrenal cancer nearly eight weeks after being diagnosed with bronchitis at his family doctor’s office. Continue reading