Tag Archives: libido

Love, Dating, and Loneliness: 5 Articles to Meditate On This Weekend

The desire for love and connection is pretty universal. But let’s face it – relationships are hard! And being single is hard, too! Here are a few articles that take a slightly different approach to the “happily ever after” conundrum. Whether you’re dating, married, or spending some quality time with a book and a glass of wine this weekend, you can meditate on what you really want your love life to look like, moving forward.

Let’s jump right in with a look at an alternative relationship. It’s not for everyone, but… to each her own?

Confession: How I (Still) Make My Open Relationship Work (HuffPost)

Before you start jumping up and down and clapping at the idea of having multiple boyfriends, consider the qualities that make up a ‘real’ man.

5 Signs You Are Dating a Real Man (YahooShine)

But if Mr. Right(s) takes a while showing up, what do you do about the whole ‘having babies’ thing?

I’m Seriously Considering Freezing My Eggs (The Gloss)

Ultimately, try not to be afraid of being alone. Be the soul mate for yourself! (And anyone else who wanders into your life will just be bonus.)

25 Ways to Be Alone, But Not Lonely (MindBodyGreen)

When you are ready to start getting frisky again, make full use of these natural aphrodisiacs!

7 Libido Boosters from Around the World (Care2)

5 Effective Ways to Tune Up Your Libido This Spring

Spring is the season for lovers. Taking our cue from the birds and the bees, we feel more sensual to the new vibrational energy in the air. We are more receptive to experience new things within the context of daily life. Spring liberates us a little from that “ought to” voice to play more and take a bit of a vacation from some of our responsibilities. Let’s tap into this energy.

Quick laughter and fun lead to sensuality.  Fun breeds fun: Feeling Uninhibited Naturally. Life energy and sexual energy are intertwined. Your sexual style is as unique as your finger print. Consider your sexual style your passion print. You express your passion print in the way you move, the scent you emit, how you speak with your eyes, part your lips and breathe. Identify your sexual style and then consciously use it.

If you lovemaking has become too goal oriented, or you feel depleted by overzealous work schedules, parenting, household responsibilities and a sedentary lifestyle, improper eating habits and poor sleep, you might not feel sexy – plain and simple. You probably need to jumpstart your libido.

Here’s how to boost your love life and feel that romantic high of walking on air:

* During the day flirt, email, call or speak with your eyes – absolutely no touching your partner. Then in the evening you can unleash the pent up energy from all that teasing.

* Sex begins in the brain, so write the screenplay for the romantic movie in your head and the good news is that you don’t have to censor your thoughts. Then act out what you feel comfortable doing.

* If you are afraid of the “other woman,” become the other woman. Get a cheap wig, new lingerie which makes you feel attractive, etc and let your partner see you with adulterous eyes.

* Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Take a break – no sex for a couple of days or a week (you decide for how long) – forbidden fruit can be overpowering.

* Make love in unusual places like the car, the beach or perhaps a dressing room – you don’t have to belong to the mile high club. Nothing like the thrill of secrecy and novelty.

Have a romance with life!

Sex, the Great Healer

Finally, that spa trip you have long awaited is almost here. In magnificent seclusion, hidden away from time and urban life, you and your beloved will rediscover each other. Under the ancient arms of gently swaying trees, you will regenerate yourselves. And while all thought of budgets, children, and employment melt away, you may even have the best sex of your life.

Many couples notice that it takes a vacation away from daily stresses to relax the body, free the mind, and rediscover sexual desire. That’s because erotic love naturally blends together with physical and mental healing. When you recover from an illness or climb out from under that mountain of papers, your sex drive returns. Overwork, worry, and physical strain consume the juice needed to run your sexual batteries.

But in case you had forgotten, sex, like health, is worthy of rediscovery. Everything in life is easier if you are having great sex. Mountains turn into molehills. You appreciate of the goodness life brings you, your outlook brightens, and your body feels more vital. If you think these statements aren’t true, you have never had great sex on a regular basis.

So why must it take a bungalow, a Jacuzzi, and your parents babysitting for a week to revive the passion confined by the daily grind? It is possible to maintain that healthy hunger for life and each other without depending upon that elusive weekend off. But you must have a clear idea of how great sex and great health complement and create each other. Then you can intentionally use one to access the other and create lifestyle habits that allow you more of both.

Sex Makes Us Healthy

We know that every part of the body must be used to remain vital. Medical literature has shown us that to keep the heart healthy it needs stimulation with aerobic exercise. Bones require weight bearing exercise to maintain high calcium levels and avoid osteoporosis. Even octogenarians can revive a fading memory with a few simple mental exercises.

The sex organs are no exception. For example, women who breast feed have lower breast cancer rates, while celibate men turn up with higher percentages of prostate and related cancers. A woman who enjoys regular sex may have fewer PMS symptoms. Actively sexual women going through menopause have fewer symptoms associated with the drop in reproductive hormone levels. This means that they get to feel wet and wild into their 90s. And because of the release of endorphins (the body’s own feel-good drugs) during the act, outlook also improves. Depression just can’t exist in the middle of great sex. Have you noticed? We benefit from using the body in all the ways it was designed to be used.

As an acupuncturist and doctor of traditional Oriental medicine, I have discovered that the early Chinese physicians were among history’s first sexologists. They spent thousands of years observing their patients to learn more about the nature of the sexes and the optimal ways to utilize sex for pleasure and healing. For my professional ancestors, sex was not just a pastime to be enjoyed for recreational and procreative purposes.It was a highly valued and coveted tool: an antiaging strategy and the source of unlimited power to be tapped into at will. These great sages spent centuries formulating their ideas, which, by the first century A.D., were already quite advanced.

In this country, sex education is about how babies are made. But ancient Chinese scholars realized that a high level of sexual skill involved techniques that brought both pleasure and health. Multi-orgasmic experiences for both men and women were important aspects of lovemaking. This required men to develop the ability to separate orgasm from ejaculation. It was proven that orgasm is not what puts a man to sleep within thirty seconds of climax, rather, it is the ejaculatory process. A man could have many orgasms in one lovemaking session if he could control the release of semen.

The idea that sex is an antiaging tool is based upon the idea that you can make love with skills that actually generate more life force. You can lower your biological age by bringing more stamina into your body through sexual play. The vitality that keeps us alive is intertwined with sexual strength. The more vitality generated in the bedroom, the more that’s available to live your life. Likewise, if you waste your life force in the bedroom with unskilled sex, the weaker you become generally. While sexual ecstasy inspires the body to function at its best, sexual frustration propels people into old age.

During your precious few days at a spa or retreat, your mind slows down and your sex drive reminds you that it still exists. An acupuncturist would tell you that this is because the “pot” of energy that governs the mind also governs sex drive. There is one battery to run both heads, so to speak. This is true for both women and men.

So when your brain is cranking 24 hours, 7 days a week, there is not a whole lot of juice left over to keep your sexual engine running. It isn’t that your libido is gone, it’s that it’s being used to cut a path through that jungle of mental activity you muddle through every day.

Why wait until you are off in some resort with hot springs and palm trees? Rejuvenate your sex drive now! If you follow the idea that quieting the mind lets your libido speak louder, you can create islands in time for the heat of passion even during the most hectic days of the week. And what else is there to do on an island? Listen to music, stroll through beautiful scenery, dine upon fine food in a relaxed atmosphere, regain your strength, and boogie your brains out.

I have always suggested a once-a-week date night to my patients. If that is not suitable for you, come up with your own variation. The rules are that kids, business, money, and in-laws are not permitted topics for discussion, and that each date night is consistently planned for and written into your schedule and nothing but the Resurrection or a life-threatening illness will change that. By taking the time for yourselves, everything—your stamina, outlook, health, and love affair—will improve, and you’ll be able to have homemade vacation-style sex any night of the week.


Hard Exercise Should Not Reduce Libido

If hard exercise or training causes you to lose interest in making love, get a medical check-up. If your doctor finds nothing wrong with you, you may be training too much. Most endurance athletes have normal blood levels of the male hormones, testosterone and dihydro-testosterone, and lose neither sexual desire nor sexual performance (Journal of Endocrinological Investigation, October 2008).

Endurance athletes who have low levels of testosterone usually have normal blood levels of LH and FSH, the brain hormones that control testicular production of testosterone. Defective testicular production of testosterone is usually associated with very high levels of brain hormones. That means that reduced sexual desire associated with endurance training is governed by the brain, not testicular damage, and is often part of an overtraining syndrome.

Training for competition is done by taking an intense workout on one day, feeling sore on the next, and going at reduced intensity for as long as it takes for the soreness to go away. Taking intense workouts when you feel soreness causes muscle injuries and fatigue that affects all your organ systems, including your sexuality. Once you develop an overtraining syndrome, it can take a very long time to recover. If this has happened to you, I recommend jogging slowly each day and stopping each workout immediately when your legs feel heavy or sore. When you feel better, you can start to train intensely again, but be sure to include slow recovery days in your training program.

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