Tag Archives: love

3 Ways to Get Your Best Guy Friend OUT of the Friend Zone

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All us gals have a guy friend or brother who we know is just such an awesome and nice guy. We know he’s deserving of a really great woman and we want to see him hooked up, yet for some reason he seems to have little luck with attracting or keeping the ladies.

As a Dating & Relationship Coach helping men and women over the last decade, it isn’t actually much of a mystery why this happens to great guys, as there are patterns that all of them repeat. So be a good wing-girl and share these 3 secrets with him to assist him in permanently getting out of the Friend Zone with women. Make sure his 2017 rocks! Continue reading

Ready, Aim, Bullseye: Seven Sentences That Will Go Straight to Her Heart (and why they work)

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I know that when my husband married me, he took on hefty responsibilities—not just for himself anymore—but for me and our future children, including promises to…

  • Please (always),
  • Provide (as much as possible),
  • Protect (when necessary),
  • Problem solve (as called upon), and
  • Procreate (as agreed upon)

But it wasn’t enough.

Because my appetite for attention was insatiable and his execution was never up to feminine standards, my subtle calls for transformation (“hints”) began to sound more like commands. Of course, when that approach didn’t work either, I resorted to ultimatums. It nearly broke us. What I didn’t understand at the time of course was how insecurity—common feminine anxiety—was the actual saboteur. Misdirected and misunderstood, my fear-inspired attempts to connect with my husband actually threatened to disconnect us—permanently.

You’ve probably jousted like that with your own wife and know what it feels like to be knocked off your horse. Chances are her heart remains a moving target, and your efforts to play Cupid continually fall short. As frustrating and demoralizing as that may feel, I’m here to ask you not to give up on her, or yourself. There is a way to aim those well-intentioned arrows with pinpoint accuracy.

In this archery lesson, we’ll identify seven relational values women prize most (beyond the above five “P’s”). Honoring these seven feminine needs or desires, practically universal to women, will work wonders in allaying her fears; minimizing behaviors that hurt you both.

Note the first letter in each value: their alphabetical order will help summon up the right one at the right moment. Champion archers, in the heat of a tournament, have to know their stuff by heart. Continue reading

Intent of the Day: All the Love

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Happy Valentines Day!
May you find that you have so much love to give.
May you find that you are showered in all the love you hope to find.
May you find that there is never a shortage on love in your life, only that it is multiplied over and over.

In case you’re needing any help getting the declarations of love going, here is some inspiration from some of our favorite stories to help you: Continue reading

Intent of the Day: Love All Year

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On the eve of Valentines Day, it’s entirely possible that you’re sweating the big day tomorrow. There’s a lot of pressure to prove just how MUCH you love someone one day a year which means you’re having to do a check-in on where you’re at, where you should be at, how you compare to other couples in your same place… oh look at that. More sweat.

We here at Intent.com are of the camp that believes that proving your love isn’t a once-a-year kind of thing. Instead we hope to communicate love and commitment all year. Truthfully, a grand gesture can do wonders, but they will never measure up if they aren’t met with consistently showing up. The little things add up and it doesn’t mean you have to be a well of little things. Perhaps finding your few little things that you do on a regular basis is the difference between needing one all-out extravaganza in early spring.

How to do that? Here are 3 small ways you can consistently say ‘I love you’ all year long: Continue reading

Intent of the Day: Healthy Relationships

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Stuck in a cycle of unhealthy or unfulfilling relationships? You’re not alone. As you seek to express the feelings and ideas in your mind, an important next step will be connecting with people who help you feel heard and empowered. When we feel safe and loved, we are so much more likely to be active and impactful in our intentions. So we’re starting with step one. Our intent is to seek healthy relationships. These are people who are patient and listening, people who are kind and honest, people who are encouraging and also ready to share their hopes and inspiration. Do you know the names of those people? If so, maybe this is a good time to invest in those relationships. If not, maybe this is an important time to find people who are ready to rise to the occasion along side you!

On the hunt? Here are 3 things to help you find and develop healthy relationships:

Continue reading

The Power of Genuine Connection

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It can feel sometimes like the world has gone mad. Public discourse is filled with anger and confusion; people sit together in crowded spaces staring at their own flickering screens, isolated by the technology intended to connect them. And throughout the world, parents look for answers: How do I raise healthy, happy children in this complex world? How can I guide their behavior without punishing or spoiling them? Is it possible to build strong relationships in a fractured world?

The answer is yes—but it takes thoughtfulness and commitment. And the foundation is both simpler and more complicated than you might think. When parents are asked what they believe is most essential to raising capable, healthy children, most of them offer the obvious answer: love. But as it turns out, some of the things parents do in the name of loving their children are not helpful or effective. Children need more than love alone.

Imagine an infant lying contentedly in her crib. She may be watching her hands or gazing with fascination at her own feet when she suddenly becomes aware of a need. She may be hungry, or wet, or lonely, or tired. Whatever the cause, she cries to let her caregivers know that she needs them. And those caregivers usually rush to pick her up and soothe her. Especially when parents are new to the job, it may take several bumbling efforts before the cause of the baby’s distress is discovered and resolved. Eventually, however, the baby goes back to resting contentedly and her parents breathe a sigh of relief—until next time.

How many times in a day do you think this little scenario unfolds? Dozens, even hundreds of times—and each time, a baby learns more about trust and about the family she is now part of. If this cycle continues consistently throughout her childhood, she will develop what researchers refer to as “secure attachment”, what Alfred Adler and Rudolf Dreikurs called a “sense of belonging and significance” more than 100 years ago, and what in Positive Discipline is simply called “connection” (www.positivediscipline.org). This sense of being wanted and cared for unconditionally sets the stage for everything children will learn in life. Continue reading

Intent of the Day: Love Looks Like

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2016 was a particularly stressful year for many of us. Families and friends were divided politically, socially, geographically and that can force us to reconsider all we took for granted and expected from our relationships. What if we don’t agree? What does that mean for all of us? While this can feel scary, we want to consider a different and more empowering question. What will love look like when it’s full of intent?

We are excited about the opportunity to take an active role in deciding what love will look like for us. We are excited to be purposeful when it comes to loving those around us and beyond. To love with intent is to give our best effort at making a difference.
Today our intent is to decide what love will look like for us.

You too? Consider what it’ll look like to love these 3 groups of people in your life: Continue reading

Intent of the Day: Find What Excites You

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New Year – a new chapter, new verse, or just the same old story? Ultimately we write it. The choice is ours.
– Alex Morritt

The year is currently a blank slate laying in front of us, which can actually be a very daunting thing. What story will you write?

There are the things you should do…
The things you could do…
The things you want to do.

Likely the truth of what you’ll put down on your pages is somewhere in the mix, but where do you start? Have you considered what you love? We don’t always think about it. The things that make us come alive can feel like things that should be preserved for personal time, but what if those are the things that we should spend this year investing in? Instead of saving it for the spare moments, perhaps it’s time to operate our of our love and passion. So what is it? If you have no clue or don’t remember, now is a good time to dig in!

Our intent? It’s to find the thing that excites us! You too? Here are 3 things to help: Continue reading

Dream Weaving: Three Ways To Prepare Your Marriage To Change the World

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I stare with awe at the Brooklyn Bridge every time I visit New York because I know that it wouldn’t be there if it Emily and Washington Roebling hadn’t faced down every conceivable challenge during its fourteen-year construction.

Whenever I visit Boston, I wonder at the life of John and Abigail Adams, who of necessity, lived apart more than together during the tumultuous birthing of America.

And when I enter the hospital room of a loved one, I thank God for Pierre and Marie Curie, who worked side by side nearly every waking minute of their entire marriage to produce the miracle of radium.

The fact is, if we dug into the back-story of most of the world’s grand accomplishments, we would undoubtedly be impressed with how many of those accomplishments are the product of grand marriages. Continue reading

Marriages That Last: Small Gestures Yielding Big Benefits

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It has been sixty-five years since my parents’ wedding, a ceremony celebrating their commitment to love each other forever. Many years of dedication and shared experiences after they wed, Alzheimer’s disease stole the memories of this promise. After their diagnoses, I watched in amazement as my parents newly discovered each admirable trait which brought them together decades before.

Now refined through trials and seasoned with life’s experiences, their attraction was magnetic. My parents’ shared disease made me wonder: what keeps marriages strong despite the challenges of life we all face? I believe it is more than sheer grit and determination. Experiencing my parents’ love on autopilot led me to believe the key to lasting love is in developing basic traits which become the essence of who we are. Continue reading

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