Tag Archives: love yourself

Words of Wisdom: The Work of Loving Yourself

“Love yourself” is simple to say and sometimes the most difficult thing to do.
It means asking ourselves what love is.
It means asking ourselves what we believe our value to be.
It can mean dismantling a lifetime of false or negative beliefs.

Scientists have taught us for hundreds of years about inertia and a physical object’s “resistance of any physical object to any change in its state of motion”. People are not always unlike that in an emotional or mental sense. Changing direction can be a struggle even when we detect that we’re headed down a road we’ve stopped wanting. It will take force. It will take focus. It will take intent to change, to push yourself to be the best you, to keep pushing when you get tired.

Today we are happy to help with the pushing. We are sharing words of wisdom from brilliant minds who believe that loving yourself is worth the work: Continue reading

How to Make Friends With the Li’l Inner Demon Voice Inside Your Head

positiveinchallengingBy Lindsey O’Connor

You know that voice that pops up during your low and vulnerable moments and makes you feel even less? The one telling you you’re not good enough, that says your thighs are too big, or your pimple looks like Mount Everest? Or that convinces you not to wear that cute, sexy top because it will show your stomach sticking out way too much in it?

Yeah, that guy. I call it the Li’l Demon.

It’s incredible how convincing and persuasive the Li’l Demon can be and how easy it is to believe it when you’re feeling a little sad, vulnerable or anxious! When something causes me stress, then BOOM! I’m all ears.

Most of the time I am fully conscious that what this voice is saying is far from the logical and rational truth. But that little demon can be deceptively comforting, because it’s my comfortable “go-to” in a stressful situation. It just peeks over my shoulder and says, “Oh, you’re feeling anxious? Let me help you.” ..NOT.

I keep getting this image in my head:

herculues Too bad he’s not some cute, cuddly, fuzzy baby slothy thing saying this to you:

sloth

Here are some ways I deal with this  little inner bully.

1. Don’t force that voice away, don’t try and push that demon out of your mind. The more you want that voice to go away and the more you try to forcefully separate it from your being, the stronger it becomes.

Don’t give it more power and energy by doing that, because that’s what it wants. I say things like,

“Oh hey li’l demon, what’s up? So you’re here today. That’s cool. Do you want some crayons and a coloring book? Cause I’m busy today doing my own thing and enjoying my life, so I don’t have time to listen to you. You can totes chill here for a while, but I choose to focus on things that make me happy and make me feel good about myself.”

Ok, so I don’t go through that extensive of a conversation all the time, but something along those lines. Just greet it, shake hands with it metaphorically, accept that it is a part of you today. But then go about your normal business and don’t feed it any more energy. If you need distractions from it, have a good book on hand. Call a friend to catch up. Go get coffee. Turn on your favorite music and dance or sing.  Get a hug from a co-worker or friend or loved one. Don’t let that li’l demon take over your day. Accept that it is there, give yourself a big hug and go about your business.

2. Send loving energy to where the voice is sending negativity. If the voice (in my case) is telling me that my stomach is huge, bloated and heavy, I accept the fact that those are the thoughts floating through my mind at this point and they shall pass. Then I close my eyes, breathe and hold my stomach and say how much I love it. I send it loving energy. I connect my belly with the rest of my body, which makes me stronger and more whole against that little demon. I focus on how it fills with air each time I breathe deeply. Be stronger than your demon and overcome its negativity with some self love and care.

I know that this guy can pop up at any moment – at work, at school, before an interview, with a significant other, when you’re all alone – so be prepared. Arm your sexy self with tricks and tools that you’re ready with whenever it rears its ugly head. In your car? Pop in your favorite CD and sing like you’ve never sung before. If you’re at work take 5 deep breaths and focus on a task to do.

Be cognizant of when this demon pops up. Is it with the same people? Certain situations? Specific times during the day? See if there is a pattern to it. If there is, you may want to try relieving yourself of those people and situations. Or find trick of how to handle them and the stress in a positive way.

So, all in all, the less attention and energy you give to that demon (aka the less you try and force it away and the less you focus on it) the smaller and smaller it will become.

Do you ever do battle with your “Li’l Demon? How do you make peace with it or get it to shut up? 

To the new student in my class this week…

Flaws RevealedHer face was clean. That’s what I remember thinking when I first saw her. Remarkably clean. Clean lines, arched brows, beautiful bone structure. Exquisite, really. She had a look about her — that unique paradox of girl next door/supermodel rolled into one. In a way, she reminded me of a movie star. She didn’t want to meet my gaze. When I introduced myself, like I always do when new people come to my class, she looked side to side, trying not to meet my eyes. Her voice was soft. Ryan was her name. She had a boy’s name. I love it when girls have boys name’s. A dear student brought her, Iris, one of the one’s I have enjoyed watching blossom of late. I’m always excited to meet her friends when she brings them. Iris has brilliant energy and usually attracts like-minded souls.

I settled in and started teaching the class. Breathing, seated work and then onto core work we went. It’s a gradual, but intense progression. The core work we teach is not for the faint of heart. It’s slow, meticulous, exact and often described as excruciating. Trembling is normal. Quaking is too. Profuse sweat? Yep. Absolutely. Those of us who practice it everyday love it. We crave it. We see how it pans out and helps us in poses and in life. Things just aren’t quite so intimidating when you have a rock solid core. It makes sense if you think about it. So we teach it with gusto, passion and more than a small amount of well-intended sarcasm. I find if I make people laugh in core work, they usually hate it less.

I looked at Ryan. She was totally lying there, watching her friend work her ass off and doing nothing. This does not fly in my class. And yet, somehow, I knew something was up; something didn’t feel quite right. I could tell her quit-streak ran deep. I could tell confronting her head on might not be the most effective strategy. So I did something I rarely do — I looked the other way.

Then when core work was over, while all of the other students were writhing in that miserable glee that comes from someone politely kicking-your-ass-royally, I approached her.

I whispered, ‘Are you ok? Is something going on?’ I was hoping she wasn’t injured or worse, pregnant, as I never want someone to engage in this work when prenatal.

She looked at me and spoke in a plain voice, ‘Yes, I’m fine. I’m just new. Do you want me to leave?’

There it was. Something harsh, brittle, fierce disguised as gentle. A river of self-loathing washed over me when I was near her. It did not belong to me, it was hers. In my empathic abilities, I was simply picking up on it. She seemed barely able to contain her rage. Numbing it had rendered her lifeless. Dull. Void.

I looked at her and said, ‘No. I just wanted to make sure you weren’t in need of help and that you weren’t suffering an injury that I should know about.’

And then I stepped away and settled back into teaching the class. I made it a point to speak to the importance of each individual in the room. I made it a point to make sure that they all contemplated, danced around and hopefully embraced their own brilliance, beauty and joy.

Later, after class, after my date night with husband, which also falls after class, I was thinking about the exchange. It was high voltage. I knew I had side stepped a land mine. I wasn’t sure of the outcome. And of course, because the universe is infinitely kind, I received a message from my student, Iris, the one who brought Ryan.

She said, “Thank you so much for helping my friend. I’ve always wanted to bring her to class, but she has resisted. I wasn’t sure how it would go and I really appreciate you taking the time to work with her. I thought it was a lost cause, but I texted her just now and she said, I can’t stop thinking about what the yoga teacher said tonight. I want to keep going.”

Bliss. This brings me to a state of bliss. I want to help others. I hope to offer them a glimmer of their brilliance, their sparkly bits, the parts of themselves that they did not question when they were 5, but somehow between now and then they have lost touch with these pieces. My true aim, it’s not showing people how to pike into handstand, although that’s good fun, it’s to help people realize their magnificence. No matter how many days, weeks, months, years, decades, someone has spent self-flagellating, I’d rather help them see the beauty, glory, and love that resides within. Yep, within. Sigh. Good tidings, Ryan. I hope to see you soon.

photo by: JenavieveMarie

Freedom Stew

How many hats do you wear…Mom, Dad, Daughter, son, plumber, CPA, salesman? Yippes the list is endless.  How about tossing your hats in the closet of no return…and looking beyond what you believe defines you?

Here’s what I did…I took my favorite labels and decided I make a stew, put them in a big pot and puree them, let them cook down, until the blend was so tasty, delicious that I could be real in the moment without switching gears. I’m not talking rigidity here, I’m talking freedom. The kind of freedom that is connected to loving nature, people, loving what we do without having our ego identity sewed up in it, slamming us at every turn to be more, do more, telling the lie that we are not good enough, perfect enough or deserving.

Here’s what I discovered.  It’ so simple; when I’m working with my accountant, I’m more left brain concentration. When I’m filming “MerrieWay Day”, I bring on the funnies, hopefully you’ll agree, or not. See, that’s the biggee, letting go of the result, the need for approval, being on top. That doesn’t mean you’re not on top of your game, you just don’t need it to be whole.

To be YOU…the one inside that bubbles up with joy, the one that has compassion for yourself, as well as for others, is the Knower– Infinite wisdom, infinite self, the Self. Maybe we’ve been here before, another lifetime, another planet. All of that doesn’t matter: It’s NOW. This is the moment that counts- to accect your infinite divinity.

That means letting go of the labels and all they insinuate, not only to you, but to everyone involved.  Can you do it?  Can you toss those ego hats in the closet of no return?  Which label bothers you the most? Come on share how. 

MerrieWay Muses:  There is one label I will not toss and no one can take it away… “I am LOVE”… Now isn’t that something–So are YOU.  LOVE

 

Who Inspires You?

 We all need inspiration from someone or something. It doesn’t have to amount to hero-worship or idolising someone, but typical we all look up to someone as a kind of role-model. This might be Mum or Dad, Grandparents, authors, actors, sports stars, and on and on.

I know that I have always looked up to people, ever since I was young, and I still do it now. If I come out of a movie that I really liked or related to then for the next week I’ll start acting like that person. I am sure you can relate in some way?

Even if you were just driving way to fast after watching Fast and the Furious, we are all inspired by something. Maybe it’s not a person?

Maybe you are inspired by a beautiful sunset, or maybe you are inspired by being present enough to see the beauty and intricacy of a bird’s wing and the wonder of flight in both a bird, and even a plane.

What I’ve been experimenting with lately, however, is that it might be possible to actually create inspiration on your own rather than looking for outside sources or people for your motivation.

I went through an exercise recently to clarify my goals, dreams and ambitions, and then whilst picturing myself there I saw who I was when I was there, or the virtues that I acted out.

The next step was to spend a day on each of these virtues and wholly act them out and really push them to the limit. Over the last six days I have been wholly ambitious, totally dedicated, fully loving, supremely wise, and unconditionally happy (at least most of the time!)

For me this exercise was to prove that I can BE these things without physically having the end goal or dream that I am after in, say, 5 or 10 years down the line. And the result? Of course I can BE these things.

This in itself is very inspiring for me, and the realisation that motivation does not come from outside sources of people to model myself on is very profound. It is also quite relieving that I only need to be myself and I can act as if I have created my dream life, bringing it closer to me in every moment.

The interesting thing is also that the virtues that I am aspiring to BE are also virtues that I see in my “role models”.

So, between now and the next post, can you inspire yourself? You never know you might inspire somebody else too.

 

FIND PIECE OF MIND AND HEAL.

INTENTION: FEELING LOVED AND VALUED.

HOW DO WE INTERACT WITH PEOPLE WHO MAKE US FEEL BAD:

How does it really work? Why do we try sooo hard to heal ourselves, feel good, and just when we feel like we are there, someone says or does something and our energy level goes down completely? If it sounds familiar, I have some thoughts to share:

I realized a while ago, that my confidence level and how I see myself has a lot to do with how others treat me. The more love and kindness I give to myself, the more I get from others.

It might be working on several levels:

First: You declare your self worth to the universe, and it becomes your reality.

Second: The better you get at loving yourself, the more you get to know yourself as you pay attention to great qualities you have. You pay attention to what makes you happy. You tap into that feeling of joy, which you become more and more aware of… As you feel better, you share your experience, and you attract people who are like minded.

Third: As your confidence level starts going up, the abuser, the negative, the angry, the miserable all start leaving the house, They just don’t feel home anymore, since you are on a completely different frequency…

We can not change others, but we can choose who we let into our lives, and how close we get with them. A very negative person might decide to change one day, when he/she is ready to do so, not when we need them to. It is very important to keep ourselves protected. Not by fear, but by the knowledge, understanding of the cycle and the tools we have.

It is your CHOICE to either to help or stay away from a negative person. If they don’t welcome your help, it may be because they need more time and their own space until they are ready to transform their thoughts..

When you can not peacefully communicate with someone, try to see something good in them. (very challenging) I sometimes feel that they are unhappy inside. It’s nice to offer help but make sure you do not risk your own piece of mind, self love and self worth.

Love yourself first. Treat yourself kindly, and others will start treating you much better too. It’s a statement you need to make and let others see, declare it! You are important!

Set your boundaries. Learn to say "no" and not feel guilty. (It has a lot to  do with the feeling of self worth.) Give yourself credit for your work, your business, your relationships, your health…. Every day is an accomplishment. (But remember, work is what you DO not who you ARE).

Recharge: If you were a cell phone or digital camera you would need to charge your batteries. Find ways to relax. Take a long bath, get a massage, just lay down on your bed and stare at the ceiling while listening to soft music, the best is when you close your eyes and think of something that makes you smile, someplace that you love, someone that you love to be with or something that you love doing. (all of them combined sounds great) . imagine that you are in that place… It gets better and better with practice. You can even do it at work during short breaks.
 
Quiet times are the most important part of our daily lives. That’s when you are really alone with the Real You. Do you want to meet your higher self? It is the time.

Give others… Giving your love, your time, your attention, your money is a happy feeling when it comes from the heart. Not expecting is the key, tapping into that special feeling inside you, brings you more of  many great things. It makes you happy because it helps you to see your own kindness. As you get used to just giving (without expecting anything in return), that’s when the real transformation starts.

Say hello to your true self…

 

Gulay Ersoz Goddard

 

 

 

 

 

The Tyranny of Valentine’s Day

In a recent session a client asked me if I got a lot of desperate calls around Valentine’s Day. I was surprised for two reasons. I had noticed that Valentine’s Day tends to be a depressing day for many people but I assumed that more people  saw beyond the hype of big business consumerism wanting to drive a profit by making you feel "less than" or "not worthy" of love.

They only have power over us, if we give it to them.

My response was to write a post on my blog, The Science of Energy Healing, about how to take back Valentine’s Day and make it a day to celebrate your own sensual nature.

And I give the readers a gift of my podcast meditation for healing the four chambered heart and the qualities of commitment, constancy, clarity and courage.

Enjoy! Here’s the link: Free Yourself From the Tyranny of Valentine’s Day

Quote: Be Yourself!

"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
Realize that the opinions of the world have no power over you–unless you let them!  Today watch for any thoughts or worries that play across your mind that are based in the fear of judgement.  Letting this fear creep in will only limit your abilities and opportunities.  All you have to do is be aware, and be the silent observer.  As a close friend recently told me: everyone in life is different and has their own beautiful and unique gifts to offer the world.  When you spend your time trying to be something that is simply not you, you are robbing the world of your own unique gifts!  Learning to completely love and accept yourself in every moment should be your top priority and will bring you the greatest freedom.  Acquiring other "gifts" will then come naturally.  
 
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How to be healthy, Part 4 of 5

Originally posted at Vitality Health Hub.

When it comes to human needs, and fulfilling these needs in order to be healthy, the next stage after the social needs of a person are the esteem needs – self-esteem, confidence, achievement, respect of others, respect by others.

All of these esteem needs, in my eyes, come down to one thing and one thing only, and that is whether a person loves themselves or not. The word "esteem" comes from the similar word "estimate", which would show that "self-esteem" is a person’s own estimate of themselves, or how much they feel that they are worth.

Obviously to feel that you are worth anything requires you to love yourself. When a person truly loves themself they can sure to be free of all mental ills, particularly the prevalence of depression. And once a person is at this stage of developing their human needs, it almost makes the lower or more primal human needs less important.

A person who loves themself is the type of person who will not partake in self-destructive lifestyle habits, like smoking, or alcoholism, and junk-food. And even when this person does "fall off the wagon" and have some food they know doesn’t agree with them, or misses a workout session in the gym, the normal guilt that is associated with these behaviours is not there to accompany it.

A person who shows their love internally will have enough respect for themselves to choose a job or profession that nourishes them, and by also keeping hobbies and activities that allow them to manage a healthy balance between work and life.

In my professional opinion this level is equally as important as the first level of the physiological needs.

To improve your own "self-love", the best exercise by far is to openly and honestly acknowledge that you love yourself. Of course not in a conceited way, but in a way that shows your own achievement and confidence. Begin by looking in the mirror every morning, staring in your eyes, and saying "I love you" ten times. At first you might find this hard, but try your best, and it will make you feel fantastic when you finally get there.

Doing this in the morning you will then carry this love along with you in your day. Plus, you know what they say don’t you? "You can only love another, as much as you love yourself!" So if you want to share love with your family, friends, or the world as a whole, you must begin with yourself.

Start by showing yourself how much you love you by eating good quality foods, exercising, sleeping, drinking plenty of clean water, and minimising your stressors.

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