For decades now, people have admired the rapport between my husband and I. Whether we’re presenting on stage together, or chatting with friends in our living room, the chemistry is obvious and apparently enviable. A curiosity. Where, I’ve been asked, does it come from?
If only I could take my inquirers to Paris. Because my answer is there, in the Louvre Art Museum, specifically in the “Salle des Etats”, where Mona Lisa sits composed in the midst of constant chaos: hundreds of photographers clamoring for their shot at any given moment. And why not? She is the most famous face in history. What most people don’t know about Mona Lisa though, is the fact that it took forty-plus years to create her––at least it took that long for Renaissance man, Leonardo da Vinci, to become expert enough, to craft his masterpiece.
And therein lies the answer to our question, “Where does a charmed marriage come from?” Continue reading
It’s been said that “a good marriage is a long conversation that always seems too short”. Perhaps it’s because of this companionship that getting hitched boasts such a bevy of health benefits. Recent research shows that married couples report higher level of happiness, better cancer survival rates, more sex, less loneliness, and longer lifespans than their single counterparts.
But, if these aforementioned long conversations are more likely to happen over an indulgent meal than a shared workout, beware. A 2016 study of nearly 2,000 married couples indicated one hefty downside to marriage: a larger waistline. Men in the study were nearly twice as likely to be obese, while both women and men that were married worked out less (approximately 47 minutes less per week) than their married counterparts.
So, what’s a health conscious but happily betrothed couple to do? As it turns out, there is a silver lining in all this. A study presented by Johns Hopkins researchers that analyzed the data of questionnaires completed by 3,261 middle aged couples 6 years apart. It showed that while married couples typically have overall lower exercise rates, it only takes one person to in the relationship to sway the trend in a positive direction. For example, if you (but not your spouse) breaks a sweat on a regular basis, your better half is up to 70% more likely to meet minimum exercise recommendations in the future–so long as you keep up the good work. This effect was maintained, regardless of whether the husband or the wife was the original fitness buff. Conversely, if either spouse gave up their exercise regimen, the other was more likely to follow suit. The implication is that your exercise behavior has an outsized impact on that of your spouse.
My partner still won’t exercise!
Sometimes, it seems that despite best intentions, it’s impossible to get your partner off the couch. Here are 5 ways to get moving together! Continue reading
I am over 50 & have been married for over 26 years. We have one child – early 20’s, independent but still at home. I have fallen out of love with my husband. I love him but there is NO spark. I have come to this realization within the last couple of years since becoming an (almost) ’empty nester’. I was too busy to realize this sooner. I have tried talking to him and we have tried counseling; counseling failed due to poor counselor. There is no intimacy between us. I know this is something I can’t live without. I have never cheated on him but I have had some recent temptations. He is (too) agreeable with any thing I suggest but it never accomplishes anything. He ‘listens’ to me and agrees but everything seems to go in one ear and out the other. He is not abusive or addicted to anything (drugs, alcohol, gambling, etc.). He can’t possibly be happy with the way things are. I asked him if he was gay and he said no. He has difficulty with physical intimacy due to his being overweight & some medications he takes. He gives little effort to lose weight and get off his meds. I don’t know if I should stay or not.
Dear NO Spark
Asking someone for directions is easy: understanding them so you arrive at your intended destination requires a whole other set of skills. Continue reading
The “Big Day” is almost here. You aren’t sleeping or maintaining focus at work. If you are irritable and grouchy with everyone, including your fiancé, it’s time to get a grip and get back into control of yourself before the best day of your life turns into the worst day ever. You want to look and feel your best on your wedding day in order to enjoy it. Here are six ideas to make sure you are a beauty and not a beast on that big day. Continue reading
Many couples spend hours after work watching TV and not talking. It’s easy to fall into this routine. However, If you are hoping to figure out how to spice things up, then it is necessary to find something that both of you like to do. One of the most beneficial things that a couple can do together is exercise. Exercise will get you both in shape and loving each other’s good looks once more. Often, couples disagree on the exercise format. Which often keeps them from doing their workout together. Here are three exercise techniques that will are fun, healthy and will strengthen your relationship. Continue reading
I stare with awe at the Brooklyn Bridge every time I visit New York because I know that it wouldn’t be there if it Emily and Washington Roebling hadn’t faced down every conceivable challenge during its fourteen-year construction.
Whenever I visit Boston, I wonder at the life of John and Abigail Adams, who of necessity, lived apart more than together during the tumultuous birthing of America.
And when I enter the hospital room of a loved one, I thank God for Pierre and Marie Curie, who worked side by side nearly every waking minute of their entire marriage to produce the miracle of radium.
The fact is, if we dug into the back-story of most of the world’s grand accomplishments, we would undoubtedly be impressed with how many of those accomplishments are the product of grand marriages. Continue reading
According to CNBC, finances are the leading cause of stress in a relationship. 35% of people surveyed said that money was the primary cause of friction in their relationship. Managing your finances as a couple can be difficult, but it doesn’t have to be. Here are 5 tips to help you prevent money arguments with your spouse. Continue reading
It has been sixty-five years since my parents’ wedding, a ceremony celebrating their commitment to love each other forever. Many years of dedication and shared experiences after they wed, Alzheimer’s disease stole the memories of this promise. After their diagnoses, I watched in amazement as my parents newly discovered each admirable trait which brought them together decades before.
Now refined through trials and seasoned with life’s experiences, their attraction was magnetic. My parents’ shared disease made me wonder: what keeps marriages strong despite the challenges of life we all face? I believe it is more than sheer grit and determination. Experiencing my parents’ love on autopilot led me to believe the key to lasting love is in developing basic traits which become the essence of who we are. Continue reading
The love of money may be the root of all evil, but arguing about money is the third leading reason (at 22 percent) given for divorce. Going into a marriage, two partners think they’ll “make it work.” It turns out that blending what often are two disparate views about finances isn’t quite so easy, and the issues become even more intransigent if one or both partners refuse to talk about it. Here are some ways you might be able to avoid the dreaded “D” word, and we don’t mean Dallas. Continue reading
I’m very interested in the role of TV-watching in our happiness. After all, after sleeping and work, it’s the biggest consumer of the world’s time.
So I was interested to see that new research suggests that for couples who don’t have lots of mutual friends, watching the same TV show (or reading the same book or going to the same movie) can help both people feel that they inhabit in the same social world.
It turns out that couples who have lots of mutual friends tend to have the strongest bonds, and for those who don’t have a lot of mutual friends, having “shared media experiences” helps them to feel connected. Continue reading