Tag Archives: negativity

Boost Your Self-Confidence in 5 Easy Steps

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We aren’t innately born with perfect self-confidence. In fact, I think I was born with the least amount of confidence in myself as was possible and it took me a long time to build it up. I spent years in high school feeling awkward, unbalanced, and just plain out of place despite the fact that nearly every other teenager around me felt the same. My low self-esteem swept me up into a flurry of years of college as a quiet, constantly-apologizing, ball of self-doubt.

Many of us spend our days criticizing or comparing ourselves to everyone, and because of this, you might realize you aren’t very content or comfortable in your own skin. You might become overly anxious because of this, stressed or even depressed. As I began investing more time into understanding how to love me for who I was and also figuring out just how to “gain self-esteem,” I began to realize how common my own journey was.

According to the UT Counseling and Mental Health Center at the University of Texas, low self-esteem can be a big cause of strained relationships, it can impair your performances at school and work, and can “create anxiety, stress, loneliness, and increased likelihood of depression.” On top of this, low self-esteem can even make you more vulnerable to drug and alcohol abuse. No one wants that.

Because of the change that this journey had on my life, I knew I couldn’t just walk merrily along my way and not share. So here are five ways to help you boost your self confidence. And know this: how you love and view yourself won’t change overnight. It will take time, and patience, but it will happen. And these five things aren’t the end-all, you will spend time each week practicing these things to keep your confidence and yourself in a good place. Continue reading

From Intent.com: Battling A Scarcity Mentality with Gratitude

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One day this week I was sitting on an LA subway (translate: no internet) without emails or text messages to distract me from the growing anxiety and worry over to-do lists and conquering of constantly looming life questions.

“Am I making enough money?”
“Am I wasting time/my life?”
“Should I go home for Christmas or would it be wiser to stay in town?”
“Did I email so-and-so about the time change for the coffee meeting in two weeks?”
“Is marriage in the cards for me?”
“Do I already have a padded envelope to do that mailing or do I need to pick one up?”

Questions were coming at me like I was sitting at the base of a waterfall.
All mixed together. No theme or particular problem to unite them.
My whole life was starting to suffocate me at the Pershing Square station and that part that felt most suffocating was that it was so easy to answer every question with negativity.

“No, there’s not enough time/money/energy/happiness in my day.” Continue reading

From Intent.com: Visualize

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Does it ever feel like being a realist is synonymous with being a cynic? You want to stay grounded in your hoping and dreaming, so you end up focusing on the worst case scenario. If you’re aware of the worst case, at least you can’t be disappointed. But there are plenty of books, news articles and bumper stickers that remind us about the power of positive thinking. Continue reading

Clean “House” with These Inspiring Quotes

One of the most important skills in maintaining balance and wellness is to de-clutter your life of negative influences. Sometimes that’s easier said than done because we are attached to things that aren’t necessarily good for us (food, people, habits) or we can’t recognize the negative effects they are having on our lives. It’s important to do a regular clean out of the things that are weighing or bringing you down. To help you keep on track with your New Year’s goals we’ve compiled a few inspiring quotes to help you “clean house” and keep yourself motivated!

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What is your favorite inspiring quote for letting go? If you don’t see it here please share it with us in the comments below! 

Help Your Health With The Law Of Attraction

Life Entrichment 1Everyone has health goals they want to meet for a variety of personal reasons. Some people know there is a history of specific conditions in their family while others want to lose weight, lower their risk of cardiovascular conditions or simply become more fit. While there are physical regimes and practices that can assist you with your goals, you first have to be in the right mental place.

The biggest issue with getting healthy is that if you can’t change your mental picture of yourself from unhealthy, overweight or ill then you will not be able to achieve your desired health goals. It is a lot like the process I outline in my book, “The Law of Sobriety” when it comes to changing addictive behaviors. For addicts they have to see themselves as successfully sober in order to truly achieve that goal for a lifetime.

Health is absolutely no different. There is a way to prepare your mind, using the Law of Attraction, to bring in the positive energy you need to live a healthy life. This doesn’t mean you will never have illness or never have challenges, but it means that you create the mental and physical environment to lead the healthiest lifestyle possible.

To use the Law of Attraction in building a healthy, positive mental picture of your life start with the following:

1. Understand your emotional state is directly related to your physical state.

When you are mentally healthy, happy and positive you create an energy that can be used by your entire body to heal, maintain health and change your life for the better. When people are sad, depressed, anxious or negative, all emotional conditions commonly associated with poor health, the body immune system and healing abilities are greatly decreased. Changing the emotional state from negative to positive will ramp up the body’s ability to heal itself.

2. Recognize medicine can only do so much.

If you do not have the will, desire or positive belief that you will become healthy you will not become healthy. This is not an assumption; it is a well-documented fact known as the placebo effect. If you think you are going to get better you are much more likely to achieve your goals than if you think you are destined to remain ill or that you are unable to achieve health. Medicine will help, but you have to believe and see yourself as a healthy individual for the maximum power of the medical treatment to be seen.

3. See stress is generated by negative thoughts and energy.

Dismissing negative thoughts and replacing them with positive energy and thoughts eliminates stress in our lives. When we are not under stress, which all starts with those negative states, our bodies are magnificent healing systems. Eliminating negative thoughts during recovery will not only speed up the process but it will prevent stress for taking over our lives.

We can think ourselves healthy; people do it all the time. However, these people all have the gift of being able to believe, really believe, that they have the power to heal. We just need to learn how to tap into that ability through positive thoughts and energy and trust in our own ability to have health and happiness in our lives.

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Sherry Gaba LCSW, a psychotherapist and life, love and recovery coach, is featured on Celebrity Rehab on VH1. Sherry is the author of  The Law of Sobriety, which uses the Law of Attraction to help people recover from addiction; she is also a contributor to Conscious Entrepreneurs, and to several e-books: Empowerment Manual: Finding Purpose with Intention, Filling the Empty Heart: 5 Keys to Transforming Love Addiction. The e-books Relapse Prevention and Eliminate Limiting Beliefs can be downloaded free of charge at www.sherrygaba.com. Contact Sherry for webinars, teleseminars, coaching packages and speaking engagements.

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Stop Talking Yourself Out of Your Own Greatness

Priska climbing the classic Star CheckRecently, as I found myself sitting in front of my laptop, tapping away at the final touches of my book  proposal, I’ve drifted away from my usual writer’s bliss and instead have been, oh you know, totally freaking out! You see, the deadline to submit the proposal to my dream publisher, Hay House, as part of the contest they’re holding for participants of last April’s ‘Writing from Your Soul’ conference is quickly approaching. And, wouldn’t you know, all of a sudden, my ego is totally tripping out on me! “Who would even want to read my book” “What are the odds of getting picked with over 500 others in attendance?” “I bet there are some pretty amazing book ideas out there.” As I’ve allowed these thoughts to creep into my brain, they have literally taken over, sucking the creativity and joy out of what is usually one of my most favorite activities, writing!!  I even started creeping into the “why bother?” territory. Yikes!

With just a little over a month away to finish up, fine-tune, and put my best step forward, I didn’t have time for this self-sabotage crapola and needed to snap out of it, stat! Through all of my spiritual work, deep down, I know that this is just the fearful illusion of my ego, trying to keep me “safe.” In reality, I don’t truly believe this crazy-talk deep inside. At first I thought it was fear of failure or fear of rejection. Then, I realized that it was a much deeper fear. All of a sudden, I had an a-ha moment as I heard Marianne Willamson’s voice in my head with her world famous quote:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Yes, this absolutely rings true! I was on the brink of psyching myself out into playing small. We all do this. It really is our own light that frightens us the most.

You see, all I’ve ever wanted to do is be a writer. When deciding what to major in college, I shied away from pursuing writing as a career because I didn’t see how I could make a living at it. I chose a different path to pay my bills. But, in more recent years, I have been strongly guided towards it again. It truly feel it is my calling. I’ve amassed a lot of experiences and wisdom through the years in my entrepreneurial and life adventures and through my spiritual studies, which has all helped me tremendously with my own personal growth and transformation. I feel that it is my duty to share this information as I know it can help so many others as well.  And, through my blogging, I’ve made so many beautiful connections with readers and affirmed this truth. So, I had to give myself a little Marianne Williamson-esque, “who are you not to be a writer?”

I share this story with you because I want you to be aware of your own potential greatness! But, also to be aware of your own negative self-talk that will try so hard to snuff out your fire. You are meant to shine, baby!! We all are. And by shining your light, you are helping others to do the same.

Try these 4 steps that I used to put a muzzle on my own negative chatter:

  1. Be the observer. Instead of owning these thoughts as if they came from you, “I won’t win” “I can’t do it” — take on the role of observer, as if somebody else is saying them to you. This is called separating yourself from your ego. While the ego may have good intentions of keeping us safe, instead it keeps us living in fear and not taking chances or reaching our full potential. That voice is not who we really are!

  2. Notice how silly it can be. As I listened to my ego voice as an observer, I actually giggled out loud. “Where do you come up with this stuff? You aren’t very nice!,” I thought to myself. Then, I said, “thank you for trying to protect me, but I’ve got this.”

  3. Channel your Marianne Williamson. ”Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?” Remember this line always. Seriously, who are you not to be?! Print it out and put it somewhere you can always see it. You are not alone. We all go through this, but you can rise above. You are meant for greatness!

  4. Remember who you really are. For me, I had to remind myself of my deep passion for writing. Also, I am not doing this for me, but I feel a calling to share information to help others. I’m not doing myself or the world any justice by copping out. Same applies to you! The world needs what you have to offer. Don’t hold back!

Finally, after doing all of the above, I sat down with more focus and clarity then I have had in a long time. The words just flowed out of me. I reconnected with my purpose. I might not be good at a lot of things, but writing is definitely my calling..

And, of course, this does not mean I am a shoe-in for the Hay House prize by any means. But, winning or losing this contest is not what matters most. It’s about pushing through personal boundaries. And, at the end of next month, I will have a completed book proposal. That is a big deal for me, regardless of the outcome. I will continue to push towards my dreams, silencing my own negative chatter along the way.

What about you? Can you think of a time when you were talking yourself out of your own greatness? How did you get back on track? Have you ever missed out on an opportunity because of your own inner-critic? We can all learn from each other and would love to hear from you in the comments below!

For more from Dawn, check out www.dawngluskin.com and join her inspiring Facebook community

5 Steps to Break Negative Thought Patterns

Road RageBy Dr. Kulkarni

Here is a simple, five step process to recognizing and breaking negative thought patterns:

1. Catch yourself in the act.

Most people don’t even recognize when they are having a negative thought, because it is so ingrained they don’t even perceive it as “negative”. They see it as Truth. As reality. Most people also erroneously assume that other people would have the same thought/reaction if faced with a similar stimuli or circumstance. For example, take the thought, “This traffic is so terrible. I am wasting so much time. I can’t believe I have to deal with this.”

While it may seem logical and true, this thought creates a stress response in the body. The basis of this thought is, “I have been put into an unpleasant circumstance that I cannot control. I will attempt to fight back by reacting negatively and with resistance.” Feel the emotional space of helplessness and anger that this thought places you in. If you hold this negative emotion strongly enough, and for long enough, you will find yourself in many, many other circumstances where you feel helpless and out of control, because Law of Attraction naturally continues to draw to you what you are most dominantly feeling. That’s why it is so important to catch yourself in a chronic, negative underlying thought pattern.

2. Recognize that you are thinking the thought; the thought is not thinking you.

This gives you some immediate relief as you realize that you are thinker of this thought – it did not just think you (although sometimes it seems as if our thoughts are thinking us). This also almost instantly diffuses the negative energy associated with thought because as you shine a spotlight on it, it loses its power. As you begin to observe your thoughts, you gain a more objective, detached perspective that helps you assess the situation more rationally.

In the example above, you may say to yourself, “I may not be able to control the traffic, but I can control how I feel. I recognize that this thought is not serving me, and I choose to not allow it to overwhelm me.”

3. Consciously release the negative energy or emotion associated with the thought.

As you release the negative emotion and tension associated with the negative thought, it has less of a negative influence on your vibrational frequency. This is an extremely important step. Remember, this is not some intellectual exercise of seeing the glass half full. You are trying to consciously change your thoughts and emotions to change your vibrational frequency and energy pattern. Releasing negative emotion at its core releases resistance so that you begin to attract more positive energy automatically.

What are the underlying emotions of being irritated in traffic, for example? Lack of control, helplessness, anger, frustration – to name a few. Are there other aspects of your life in which you feel this way? Chances are, one of these emotions might be a chronic negative emotional pattern for you. This is when you begin to see that it has nothing to do with the traffic. It never did. The traffic is just a consequence, a mirror, to what you are already feeling and vibrating. This is a powerful realization.

4. Replace the negative thought, with a more positive (but believable) one.

For this concrete example, you might say to yourself, “Well the traffic is bad, and I would rather not be here, but maybe I can use this time to take in some deep breaths and relax. Maybe I can listen to a nice song or program on the radio.” Anything can be a meditative experience, if you will let it be. Releasing resistance and negative energy is all about accepting the moment as it is, rather than fighting it. The key here is to begin to soothe yourself by telling yourself things that you can actually sort of believe – otherwise the exercise will seem disingenuous and forced.

5. Feel the positive energy or emotion associated with the new thought and then place conscious focus and attention on it for as long as possible.

This is the last and most important step. Focusing on the positive emotion and feelings of the new thought is what allows a new energy pattern to replace the old one. Your new thought might have made you feel more relaxed, less stressed, less anxious. You are now in a completely different emotional and vibrational place than you were a few minutes ago.

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smallprofilepicDr. Kulkarni is a New York City based physician, spiritual author, and personal coach.  Find her @Dr_Kulkarni or visit www.leveragingthought.com to learn more.

7 Ways to Let Go and Watch Your Life Flourish

if it makes you fly...

By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond the winning. -Lao Tzu

So often we think we need more to be happy, when in actuality we just need to let go of limiting beliefs and erroneous understandings. The following are 7 things you can let go of right now that are part of my continual practice, which I know yield significant results!

1. Let go of living your life for your parents.

From a very young age we seek approval and acceptance from our parents because generally we’d be rewarded if we did what they pleased. As we grow the stakes become higher. If we aren’t careful we end up living our entire lives by our parents expectations without ever understanding what it truly means to be ourselves. Performance is exhausting, and when you are performing you are out of affinity with yourself. Authentic people are happy because life becomes an effortless expression of who they are. Let go of what your parents want for you, and unapologetically be your authentic self.

2. Let go of negativity.

Every single word that leaves your lips has an energy vibration attached to it, and what you put out to the universe comes back to you. We unconsciously complain about insignificant things like the weather, traffic, a plane delay, with no understanding we humans are gigantic energy systems generating a vibration that serves as a magnet drawing things of matching frequency to us. Life is in your mind. Detox yourself from your negative talk, and watch your perspective of the world around you change.

3. Let go of the need be right.

It seems like “being right” has a dynamo PR team spinning the virtues of being right, with promises of love, riches and security in heaping measures to the extent that the idea of being wrong has become so horribly unacceptable. The reality is the need to constantly be right is an external sign that something is very not right on the inside. The need to be stubbornly right is an attempt to control things, which stems from deep fear and non-trust of you. The next time you find yourself going toe-to-toe with someone ask yourself, do I want to be right or do I want to be happy?

4. Let go of judgments.

Judgments are the killer of creativity, and consciousness, yet we judge all the time. We have a very finite understanding of what is right or wrong and we criticize and judge people for being different, and ourselves for not being good enough. If we can take a step back and recognize that 99%of people simply operating off the information they’ve been given, we grow into greater compassion and acceptance. It doesn’t mean we have to agree with them, it just means we see the bigger picture. After all, with all the diverse displays of creation, destruction, action and reaction on planet – as messed up as it seems sometimes – we’re all just trying to be OK. Let go of your judgments, and discover how much happier you’ll be.

5. Let go of your excuses.

I wasted years of my life with excuses! “It’s not the right time, I need some training, I’m not sure…blah, blah, blah.”

Excuses are nothing more than fear of failure. The most effective way I know to neutralize these fears is to simply be the beginner. The moment is NOW. Set a photo directive and start before you’re ready! You and your trusty pal, Google, can figure it out together. There is boldness in action, and when you take action it’s like sending a flare signal to the universe attracting all that you need right to you! Get going!

6. Let go of the past.

The past. Everyone’s got one. Sometimes we run from it and other times we glorify it, but either way it’s like dead weight shackled to our leg. It happened; it hurt, but now what are you going to do about it? You have a choice. When we stay resentful and focused to the past, we carry a victim (poor me) vibration that makes it very difficult to create what we want. When we let go of it and recognize that every single past event led us to here, where we are gaining consciousness to create a life of our dreams, we vibrate in gratitude – which is a spiritual superpower. Let go and claim your power!

7. Let go of externalizing your love.

This is tricky business, my friends, and one I can’t claim to have completely figured out yet. However I know from the spiritual teachers with whom I personally work that it is possible, and they are exponentially happier because of it. To externalize our love means we’ve made something outside of ourselves the reason for our happiness, and therefore we’ve become dependent on it. This dependency on externals is bound to create unhappiness, because nothing in life is constant and things – whether we want them to or not – will change. To let go of this means if our love, dog, home, money, etc. were to disappear, we would still be OK. It means understanding the true source of love and security comes from within, and is not dependent on that which is external to us. This is the unshakable belief to which I am inching closer, but let’s face it…still have quite a ways to go!

Manifesting 101: How to Create the Life You Want

24-08-10 If I Only Could I'd Make A Deal With GodIn order to manifest that which will bring you fulfillment, joy, purpose and abundance, it is necessary to understand the steps that will allow such things to come into your life with purpose. Take a moment with open mind to view these steps to creating your new bountiful future.

Intentions: You must be fully aware of what it is that you really want. You must have a clear definition. You can not simply say “I want change.” You must be specific what kind of change it is that you seek. If you are not specific you may find that the change which occurs will be all towards a downward spiral. Freeing yourself to be able to say I want positive forward movement in my change will be an incredible empowerment tool for your future success.
Be Mindful: That old expression “garbage in, garbage out” here comes to mind. If you continually take in negative thoughts, surround yourself with friends, or even family who continually tell you there is no way you can over come you will never amount to anything then guess what? You won’t. If you take your intentions to another level, and say I intend to listen to new creative ways to bring success and peace of mind in both my personal and professional life, then you will start to break those old reckless cycles and move forward.
Show Gratitude: I can not stress enough how important it is for you to be thankful for your current situation. This time in your life has brought you to the steps of your greatest accomplishment yet; abundance, creativity, success and boundless positive energy that will push you forward. Once you have been to the very bottom there is no other place to go then up. Be thankful for your failures they will be your inspiration.
Allow Forgiveness: Showing compassion for what has brought you to this time in your life has great meaning. It is the life blood of all of the things in your past that have placed you in a sense of powerlessness or success. Once you make that decision to forgive others where it is possible, or even proper, and then make that leap to forgive yourself and find peace you will be on your way to experiencing who you are truly meant to be. Honesty is paramount here seeking out that which causes you pain, however, is not always an easy task. This may require a professional to speak with one who is caring and understanding and can help teach you ways to deal with these personal issues.
Take Action: Let the new positive thought and energy flow; do not impede forward movement no matter how small it may seem at first. All things are connected. Every time you made a decision; including those times when you really felt like you did not make any type of decision comes into play here. You must be willing to accept the things you have done, and be prepared to make new choices for the future. You are an active participant in your manifestation of your positive future.
Follow Through: Whether you take your first step, or you stumble keep moving don’t quit!!! Know that you are blessed simply because you breathe. Believe in yourself for it will be your greatest asset, and your truest virtue. If you have made a decision to work this plan towards you future success then let me be the first to congratulate you, you have taken your first step towards abundance and peace of mind.
Originally published January 2011

8 Ways To Feel Better In 30 Seconds Or Less

CL Society 194: Laughing girlPeople tell me, “I don’t have the time to …

“… go to the store and pick up fruits and vegetables.
“… exercise.” 
“… sit and breathe.”
“… to be positive.”

Really?  Too busy to be positive?

Surely, you can clear a scant 30 seconds to do something positive for yourself, can’t you? If thinking about what to do takes up too much of those 30 seconds, here follow 8 suggestions!

8 Positive things that you can ‘accomplish’ in a mere 30 seconds. 

  1. Breathe. 70% of waste is eliminated via your lungs! You can place your hand on your belly and feel it rise and fall with each breath cycle. Thirty seconds of breathing can do wonders!
  2. Affirmations. Repeat one powerful affirmation over and over again for 30 seconds. If it’s a short affirmation, “I am whole and complete,” you may be surprised to find how many times you can repeat “I am whole and complete” in just 30 seconds.
  3. Stretch. Stand and reach for the stars!
  4. Smile. Smiling relaxes hundreds of muscles and releases pockets of stress and tension held in your face.
  5. Stay Hydrated. Your brain is approximately 75% water, and it’s the first place in the body to lose water. Your brain needs water to think clearly. Drink a glass of water.
  6. Close Your Eyes. Give yourself a real break and allow your body a 30 second opportunity to re-balance itself. Close your eye, cup the palm of your hands over your ears and listen to the blissful sounds of the ocean playing. Just like when you were a kid and held that shell to your ear!
  7. Dance It Out. Plug your iPod into your ears and shake it up for 30 seconds. The ultimate energy boost!
  8. Do Nothing. Just sit and stare; perhaps out the window or at the ceiling. Just be sure to do nothing!

Surely, we all have a few 30-second pockets of time during the day where we can take the time to just be. Start NOW!

Spread the word … NOT the icing!

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For the best in wellness and weight loss wisdom, visit Janice:
Our Lady of Weight Loss
join the Kick in the Tush Club

Follow Janice on Twitter @OurLady
Facebook.com/OurLadyofWeightLoss

 

Originally published July 2011

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