If no one has ever told you before, you can say no.
You have a freedom, a right, and the ability to say no and say yes but that doesn’t always mean it’s natural to act on it. History, upbringing, natural inclinations, all of it can blend into an atmosphere where it can be easy to agree with others even when it is problematic or even harmful to you. We do know this- saying no doesn’t necessarily get easier without practice. It means the first several times may feel gut-wrenching but as it goes with any intent, finding purpose and joy on the other side of your practice can encourage you to move through the discomfort to a new habit. There is something amazing about knowing you have the freedom to say no and it begins with knowing that freedom exists. We intend to give ourselves permission to say no.
You too? Here are 3 things to help with the fear: Continue reading
We all have a right to say no. Most of us are used to hearing this phrase in terms of drug use or consent (“Just say no!” and “No means no!”). Many of us feel as though we are obligated to do things, or that if we commit to something, we cannot change our minds and back out. This is false. We have the ability to make our own decisions, and to say no whenever we feel we need to.
Saying no can be hard! There are people that we want to impress, and a lot of the time, we truly don’t mind doing something for a person here or there. There are some of us however that feel overwhelmed with how much we have agreed to do, and we find ourselves unable to say no. Perhaps we want to seem like we are always willing to help, or we want to give a good impression of ourselves. Maybe, we don’t even realize that our problem is saying yes to everything. The good news is that there is always room to grow. Continue reading
I couldn’t wait for Thanksgiving.
My second Thanksgiving in Orange County, California was all I thought about since my first Thanksgiving in Orange County.
Friends, food, a family talent show with a $100 cash prize on the line.
Thursday was going to be glorious.
The downside was that Friday was going to be terrible.
I’d overcommitted- to people staying in my home, to side projects that were WAY more involved than I thought about, to future plans. And it was all putting a big strain on what were supposed to be happy days leading up to vacation. All I could talk about were the stressors. All I could think about was how terrible the days following Thanksgiving were going to be and after one hysterical crying episode, I realized I had to start doing things differently.
My intention this week? I intend to embrace the power of “no”.
There’s definitely a struggle of balance. Am I being selfish by saying “no” when people need help and come to me? Am I missing out on great things because I’m filling up my schedule with things I don’t want to do? I honestly don’t know yet. I’m new to this “no” thing. I do know things have to change because this isn’t any way to live (and by that I really mean the amount of complaining and trepidation I feel about upcoming days).
Are there things you need to say “no” to?
Is there a “yes” you can’t make because you’ve filled up your life with a lot of things you don’t care about?