By Bristol Baughan
In today’s episode of 30 DAYS OF INTENT, Natalie and Iman learn about Orgasmic Meditation, an intimate sensual practice from author and speaker Nicole Daedone. I thought Iman was going to lose his mind when the demonstrator’s pants came off!
I’ll never forget my first experience hearing about Orgasmic Meditation. It felt like someone was punching my comfort zone in the face. Below is an excerpt of a scene from a one-woman show I wrote featuring my first time hearing of Orgasmic Meditation:
NICOLE’S VOICE: So it’s really simple you see. Orgasmic Meditation is a 15 minute timed practice where your partner strokes the upper left hand quadrant of your clitoris while you focus solely on sensation. Your job, as the man is to create a space for your partner to fully surrender, and you women, your job is to melt into the floor, just melt and let everything go. There is no goal. Nowhere to get to. Focus on the sensation of his finger on your clitoris and silence your mind. Sink deeply into that floor.
BRISTOL: Um, excuse me? I’m just here working so I have no right to say anything. I didn’t pay like the rest of you pathetic people looking for a way to jump start your sex lives. I just got off a 7am flight from LA and we’re just here to shoot a video for TIME. But what you are saying is making me sick. I can literally feel my stomach twisting. So your saying, we just lay there and surrender and don’t give anything back to him? What about him? This sounds completely selfish. Surrendering, allowing, receiving, all getting and no giving. Don’t I have a responsibility or something to DO something? I know it is call Orgasmic Meditation but can it really be a meditation, silence the mind and let sensation take over? Whoa. I’m not feeling so well. You guys don’t look so comfortable either. This woman is crossing her legs a little tighter and this guy is on the edge of his seat, of course. Perv.
In walks a pretty brunette wearing black stretchy yoga pants and with her is a nice Mormon-looking guy. They look comfortable. She lies down on a pink yoga mat with her head on a pillow; he sits beside her, one leg over her torso. What are they…Oh they are going to do a demo. Oh no! No they wouldn’t… ok she is taking her pants off. I should really go. We are in a conference room at the Ramada for Christ’s sake. It smells like cheap coffee and Windex. The last group in here was probably the Rotary Club or AA. I mean, does management know what is going in here? Don’t you need a permit or something? I’m not really breathing so well. My chest is tight. I mean, this is private right? The Mormon-looking guy reaches for his black iPhone and sets the timer for 15 minutes.
Ok, now she is opening her pale, white legs, like the widest they can go open and he is just staring between them, right between her legs and the lights are on. Mercilessly on and bright and fluorescent and he is just staring at her. He then…oh no he isn’t, oh my God. He is describing it. You know, her parts. Out loud. Round, pinkish, brown oval. Did he just say that? Can that be right? Pink, brown, oval? Whoa! Ok now he is putting his index finger in something…oh lube, organic lube! Of course it’s organic! We should all go and let these two consenting adults do whatever it is they are going to do now…or…not.
(Watch and listen)
NICOLE: Now light as a feather, you stroke the upper right hand quadrant of her clitoris, very, very, very lightly. Yes, that’s it. Now reach your clitoris toward his finger. Reach. Reach. Good.
BRISTOL: The woman’s breath begins to get deeper, slower. One hand is gently resting on his shin, and the other palm open on the yoga mat beneath her. The only one breathing in this room is the woman on the floor and oh is she breathing! All 12 of us in a conference room at the Ramada, all different sizes, shapes, colors, and ages, couples and singles, all watching and feeling the heat build. My brain has left the building. My stomach is burning and something is definitely happening… down there.
Wait a minute. What is wrong with me? Why does it feel like someone is punching me in the stomach? What is it inside of me that is being assaulted? He is just touching her, on the outside of her body. I’m pretty sure these people aren’t even dating and he is touching her so softly, so lovingly, so willingly. Like there is something in it for him. I’m so confused. She is moaning ever so slightly and I feel, well I feel…jealous. I want that. I want to be seen. I want to be touched. I want to surrender and allow and receive. I want to quiet my mind and just experience sensation in my body. I’m not even totally sure I have ever had an orgasm. I am a 30-year-old woman with a decent amount of experience, and I’m not even sure I’ve ever had one. No, I’m lying. I’m pretty sure I’ve never had one. I have never felt a “climax” like something was exploding or like I was going off a cliff of some kind. I just seem to keep climbing. I’ve always thought maybe I was broken. This seems perfect for me.
No! Wait, I can’t do that. I don’t have a partner, I have to find someone I trust, like for realz trust, who will see my you-know-what in the light, the direct light. I could never do this with a stranger, oh God, how dirty I would be. How insane that would be. A stranger. Wow. I always thought meditation was boring but this is totally…fucking…crazy…awesome! I’m in. Where do I sign up?
~ Excerpt from “Judge-A-Holic a One-Woman Show” written and performed by Bristol Baughan
Does orgasm actually lead to enlightenment? Who the hell really knows? What I do know is that it has helped me take another small step toward more personal freedom. Either way, this topic seems to be a really clear indicator of where fear, insecurity, and limiting beliefs exist in consciousness. I hope it serves you as it did me. Needless to say, it has been 2 years since Orgasmic Meditation entered my life and I am definitely better off for it. MUCH better off.
Subscribe to The Chopra Well and don’t miss tomorrow’s episode with Natalie and Iman’s first Orgasmic Meditation demonstration!