Tag Archives: paranormal

This Is What Real Love Looks Like

Burning Love -- Spring Botanical Red Tulip Flower“Real love is something so deep, so energizing, that you will not know it unless you experience it. Love is an expression of energy, not something that is transacted. Tell me one thing: can you love people when you meet them for the first time?”

(From the audience: No Swamiji! We don’t even know them, then how can we love them?)

Exactly! This is what you think. Let me tell you, with a little bit of intellectual understanding and meditation, you will realize that you can love anyone without a reason! You can love the trees on the road, you can caress them and feel the energy flow from you. You can love people whom you pass by on the road without even knowing them. Love is actually your very being, not a distilled quality that you possess.

Nothing is as misconstrued as love is today. Today, love is more of a transaction. If someone says something nice to you, you love him; tomorrow if the same person falls short of it, you don’t love him that much or you probably hate him.

Even your lifelong friend, with whom you chat everyday on the computer, will seem suddenly not-so-close if he says something that goes against your approval. Where is your love at this time? It has suffered temporarily!

It is just games that you play; a game in which love and hate surface alternately and interchangeably. And this love-hate relationship is not love at all. Be very clear. It is simply your reaction to a person or a situation, that’s all. This is what we call love. This is not real love. It is subjective love, that’s all.

Real love knows no object. It is simply there whether there is an object or not. Real love is the subject itself. It does not know any object. You are the subject and you have become love, that’s all. Any object that comes in touch with it, feels it. Just like a river flows naturally and people enjoy it at the different places that they encounter it, real love exudes from a person and the people around him will be able to feel it.

There is absolutely no room for conditioning in real love. The energy in you should overflow and express itself as love. It is then that you can break through the highly knotted boundaries of relationships and express yourself beautifully, as a loving being!

In order to discover the quality of your being, that is love, two things can be done. The first thing: repeatedly listen to words like these so that they create a conviction in you about real love; so that a space is created in you for the process of transformation. Second thing: meditate so that the transformation can actually happen.

In practical life, when you go deeper and deeper into relationships, you will understand that all that you feel is not real love, but just some form of give and take. It is all just adjustment, some compromise, some duty-bound feelings, some fear, some guilt. It is all there in the name of love.

Meditation will take you beyond these mis-understandings of love. Meditation will work at the being level. That is why it is a shortcut! When you have to go through life and know it by yourself, it will take you a lifetime. But with meditation, a space opens inside you to experience these things clearly for yourself, whatever your age may be.

Just understand this one thing: when you are able to love without a reason, you will expand like anything. Your world will suddenly seem larger than life. It will be so ecstatic. You will become an energy source to yourself and to others. You will be so overflowing that the energy in you has to touch others. There is no other way. Others will be naturally drawn to you.”

 

Originally posted September 2011

What is Enlightenment?

"We are always chasing happiness. We want to be happy all the time. The shortest way to be that way is to become enlightened!

 

Let me tell you what it means to be in the state of enlightenment. This is my personal experience.

 

The enlightenment keeps me in tremendous ecstasy 24 hours, 365 days a year. The word ‘ecstasy’ is not enough to describe the bliss I am in. Scientists say that whenever pleasure is stimulated in your system, a hormone called dopamine is released. Doctors call the point where it is released as the D-spot. When the chemical is released, our body is flooded with enormous energy.

 

When I am in the state of enlightenment, the idea of boundary, a limiting factor for most of us is lost. The feeling that my body ends here and the rest of the world starts here is absent. Everything is mine. The sensitivity with which I feel my body is the same that I feel for the whole cosmos.

 

My first experience with this kind of joy happened when I was a mere teenager. When I experienced it for the first time, the heightened sense of ecstasy lasted only for a few days. It gave me the first experience, the first glimpse. But after enlightenment, I live continuously in this heightened ecstasy. I am always in bliss day in and day out. It does not diminish, reduce. It just is. There is no time where I am not in this state.

 

When I became enlightened, I could no longer be judgmental. I only have compassion for everyone and everything. Merely by my physical presence, I radiate energy that will touch everyone.

 

With enlightenment, the basic idea of sex disappeared. The idea of being either male or female died. Though I have a male body, I can never identify with a male or female body. The truth is I am holding on to my body delicately, just like I hold a handkerchief, with my fingertips.

 

My mind doesn’t exist. I am like a tape recorder that plays when it is switched on. When it plays, you hear the sound. When it is switched off, there is silence. Similarly, when I stop talking, a space is created. There are no words here. There is only silence.

 

There are thousands of enlightened masters living on planet Earth. Their energies are all one and the same. Only their expressions are different.

 

Let us all strive towards enlightenment. Let us all partake the ecstasy and bliss that is eternal. Let all of us be in Nithyananda – eternal bliss."

 

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Ol’ Boogeyman Still Comin’ To Getcha?

BoogeymanIn my line of work there is often an unhealthy obsession with the concept of evil. It appears we are simply not able to rid ourselves of this ‘thing’ we seem to have for the boogeyman (here in my country known as the tokoloshe).

Just the other day I was listening to a radio psychic scaring the living daylights out of his unsuspecting caller. She just wanted some career advice, but instead he was hell-bent on convincing her that her home was infested with evil entities. His charming co-host also jumped in to offer some old-wives’ cures for getting rid of all the demonic forces. Truth be told, the only disturbance I was picking up on was the fact that the poor, freaked out woman would not be getting much sleep for weeks!

Now, don’t get me wrong. The struggle between good and evil is very, very real. It is a fundamental component of the human condition. It is also the basis of all Creation. It stems from the duality found in every important aspect of our expanding Universe: dark versus light, life versus death, night versus day. Light needs the presence of darkness to be truly visible and meaningful.

 

A belief in a supernatural source of evil is not necessary; men alone are quite capable of every wickedness –  Joseph Conrad

 

The co-existence of good and evil is also the basis for an inner conflict that each of us have to resolve in this lifetime. It is part of the reason why we are here. Both good and evil therefore do serve a purpose in the greater scheme of things. No doubt about that. But blaming the spiritual realm for the darkness of men is my idea of heresy and blasphemy.

Our morbid fascination with all things dark is as old as the hills, but it is still very much de rigueur. Just the fact that psychics and mediums are today still being accused of doing the devil’s work is sufficient proof in itself. In many religious circles ‘fire and brimstone’ remains the height of fashion. Not to mention the latest 2012 doomsday prophecies, conspiracy theories and apocalyptic visions of evil forces, undercover aliens and secret societies; all hype eagerly spread by fear-mongers, spin doctors and social entrepreneurs.

But those are the most obvious kinds of evil mania. What truly amazes me about our obsession with all things evil is that it is not something you only find in traditional churches or conservative circles. No, some truly gifted, spiritually aware and highly intuitive people, with whom I share many beliefs and blessings, are also fanatic about finding evil spirits, curses and dark entities under their beds, inside their closets …and deep-down in the purses and wallets of their clients.

 

The only good is knowledge and the only evil is ignorance – Socrates

 

Yesterday a wonderful client called me, devastated and in tears. She had been persuaded by a well-meaning friend to “try out” another psychic she knows of… just for fun. The self-proclaimed ’spiritual advisor’ had a field day predicting doom and gloom for her current relationship and warned her that another woman was doing magick to steal her man away. She also offered to do spell work for her to fix the problem, to the tune of $400! Meanwhile my client’s love life is perfectly on track and they are in fact a very happy couple. How dare someone mess with the lives of others out of sheer greed? It truly disgusts me. May God have mercy on her soul.

It is deeply disappointing that many who share in the collective consciousness appear to be obsessing about evil entities and dark forces all of the time. In fact, they are so busy doing this that they hardly have any time or energy left to be co-creators in our spiritual evolution. They seem to miss the point that evil is about regression, destruction and reversing into the past. Evil is the antithesis of creation and expansion, and they seem to forget that what they focus on, sadly, does become their reality.

The good versus evil ‘battle’ has been waged one way or another since the dawn of civilization. It is an ancient archetype that is one of the most recognizable themes in literature and the arts. Let’s face it; ‘good guys versus bad guys’ is the stuff that bestsellers and box office hits are made of.

 

Eternal good is eternal becoming or eternally moving forward to greater life. Eternal evil is to cease becoming and “to be” that which was in the past – JJ Dewey

 

I guess it therefore comes as no surprise that some spiritual seekers are forever obsessing about the evil they fear may be creeping up on them. One only has to tune in to a few podcasts, or watch the latest online videos, to witness the spiritual community’s fixation on everything evil. Indeed, fundamentalism is not only found among the religious and the dogmatic. Some of the ‘spiritually enlightened’ and ‘intuitively evolved’ seem to insist on clinging to medieval concepts and out-dated superstitions.

Instead of being fully devoted to unconditional love, kindness, generosity, selflessness and the greater good, much energy, time and money is being spent every day fighting evil entities and keeping the ‘darkness’ and its ‘extremely powerful forces’ at bay. Potions, spells and candles are actually the very products that keep scam psychics and fake mediums in business. All this while the true battle of Armageddon is being fought right here under our noses, in the streets in front of our houses.

There is no dominating source of evil, because if there was, we would not exist, nature would not exist and neither would the Universe. It is counter-productive to assign so much influence and power to something that is in fact just vast emptiness, non-entity and anti-matter.

 

To rid ourselves of our shadows – who we are – we must step into either total light or total darkness. Goodness and evil – Jeremy P. Johnson

 

I have often said, and will say it again, if you want to know true evil just switch on the evening news. If you are curious to see the real face of Satan, you will find him lurking on the cover of celebrity magazines, in newspapers and on political campaign posters. The battle between good and evil is not being fought in the spiritual realm. Spirit knows no anger, envy, fear, violence or hatred. The real war is happening in mundane places, like the television set in your parlor or at your child’s school.

If you want to find demons, shadow people or anti-Christs, look for them in our educational institutions, communities, churches and governments. If you truly want to find evil incarnate, seek it among the school bullies in our midst, those who drive their peers to suicide or post vile online jokes about their deaths.

Stop hunting ghosts, witches, psychic vampires and energy thieves, and rather expose the narcissists among us who dominate, dictate and destroy so many relationships, families, careers and lives – devoid of empathy and compassion. Search also the boardrooms, public offices and parliaments. There you will find among our leaders and kings many ego-maniacs who abuse their power, corrupt their economy and violate the basic human rights of their people, while they wage senseless wars on their critics and each other.

 

It is a man’s own mind, not his enemy or foe, that lures him to evil ways – Buddha

 

Evil, darkness, threat and fear are not spiritual forces… they are the evil creations of man. JJ Dewey writes that “all forces, powers, and energies are neither good nor evil in themselves. They are completely neutral, but only become good or evil when they are intelligently directed.” He also states that “all energies and creations vibrating in their pure state are good.” And that is the whole point. Focusing so much of our thoughts, feelings and intentions on evil, instead of that which is good, is counter-productive and contrary to our Divine Purpose. We are here to serve each other and grow, expand and become, not to cast an exaggerated, ominous shadow over all that is potentially good in the world.

The spiritual realm is much like the natural world. It is in essence breathtakingly perfect, completely harmonious and utterly flawless. I have yet to meet an evil animal or discover a satanic plant. The only evil I have ever witnessed among plants and animals are the scars left on them by the inhumane, dark deeds of men. It is certainly not the devil who is trashing the environment, abusing the animal kingdom or trampling the hearts of loving women and breaking the spirits of brave men.

The Divine Light that you and I come from, and will return to one day, knows no evil and does not recognize the power of these shadows that some so willingly fear and follow. Believing in the supremacy of evil entities and dark beings implies that we all come from a spiritual place of imperfection. It suggests that the Divine Source is somehow diseased, that Creation is riddled with flaws and falsehoods that dwell among us. And, worst of all, that we are so far superior in our human state that we alone are capable of fixing this broken, dysfunctional or chaotic spiritual mess.

 

The reason our definition of good and evil changes over the ages is because our capacity to understand and experience freedom changes – JJ Dewey

 

I realize that for some it must be fun to indulge in this paranormal soap opera, but most of us simply don’t have the time, or the inclination. We know we have much work to do, gifts to offer, blessings to share. We are the Wounded Healers, the Empaths, the Shamans, the Indigo Children, the Starseeds, and the Lightworkers. We speak to the Angels, listen to our Spirit Guides and trust in the guidance of our Ancestors, Ascended Masters and Loved Ones. We fight true evil by saving the planet and healing humanity, by drying one tear at a time.

We have no need for spells, talismans or obsessive-compulsive psychic defenses, for we are surrounded by the everlasting and indestructible shields of Love, Peace and Harmony. The phenomenal power of our Spiritual Heritage surges through our being every moment of every day. We are illuminated by the Divine; there is much Light around us.

The spiritual evolution of mankind is our ultimate aim, our Divine duty. As we continue to expand the Universe, this dazzling, bright Light we carry will continue to emanate from us with much Glory. And we know that there shall come a time when there will be no more evil among men. And we shall know that all is Good.

© 2010 Anthon St Maarten

Ol’ Boogeyman Still Comin’ To Getcha?

In my line of work there is often an unhealthy obsession with the concept of evil. It appears we are simply not able to rid ourselves of this ‘thing’ we seem to have for the boogeyman (here in my country known as the tokoloshe).

Just the other day I was listening to a radio psychic scaring the living daylights out of his unsuspecting caller. She just wanted some career advice, but instead he was hell-bent on convincing her that her home was infested with evil entities. His charming co-host also jumped in to offer some old-wives’ cures for getting rid of all the demonic forces. Truth be told, the only disturbance I was picking up on was the fact that the poor, freaked out woman would not be getting much sleep for weeks!

Now, don’t get me wrong. The struggle between good and evil is very, very real. It is a fundamental component of the human condition. It is also the basis of all Creation. It stems from the duality found in every important aspect of our expanding Universe: dark versus light, life versus death, night versus day. Light needs the presence of darkness to be truly visible and meaningful.

 

A belief in a supernatural source of evil is not necessary; men alone are quite capable of every wickedness –  Joseph Conrad

 

The co-existence of good and evil is also the basis for an inner conflict that each of us have to resolve in this lifetime. It is part of the reason why we are here. Both good and evil therefore do serve a purpose in the greater scheme of things. No doubt about that. But blaming the spiritual realm for the darkness of men is my idea of heresy and blasphemy.

Our morbid fascination with all things dark is as old as the hills, but it is still very much de rigueur. Just the fact that psychics and mediums are today still being accused of doing the devil’s work is sufficient proof in itself. In many religious circles ‘fire and brimstone’ remains the height of fashion. Not to mention the latest 2012 doomsday prophecies, conspiracy theories and apocalyptic visions of evil forces, undercover aliens and secret societies; all hype eagerly spread by fear-mongers, spin doctors and social entrepreneurs.

But those are the most obvious kinds of evil mania. What truly amazes me about our obsession with all things evil is that it is not something you only find in traditional churches or conservative circles. No, some truly gifted, spiritually aware and highly intuitive people, with whom I share many beliefs and blessings, are also fanatic about finding evil spirits, curses and dark entities under their beds, inside their closets …and deep-down in the purses and wallets of their clients.

 

The only good is knowledge and the only evil is ignorance – Socrates

 

Yesterday a wonderful client called me, devastated and in tears. She had been persuaded by a well-meaning friend to “try out” another psychic she knows of… just for fun. The self-proclaimed ’spiritual advisor’ had a field day predicting doom and gloom for her current relationship and warned her that another woman was doing magick to steal her man away. She also offered to do spell work for her to fix the problem, to the tune of $400! Meanwhile my client’s love life is perfectly on track and they are in fact a very happy couple. How dare someone mess with the lives of others out of sheer greed? It truly disgusts me. May God have mercy on her soul.

It is deeply disappointing that many who share in the collective consciousness appear to be obsessing about evil entities and dark forces all of the time. In fact, they are so busy doing this that they hardly have any time or energy left to be co-creators in our spiritual evolution. They seem to miss the point that evil is about regression, destruction and reversing into the past. Evil is the antithesis of creation and expansion, and they seem to forget that what they focus on, sadly, does become their reality.

The good versus evil ‘battle’ has been waged one way or another since the dawn of civilization. It is an ancient archetype that is one of the most recognizable themes in literature and the arts. Let’s face it; ‘good guys versus bad guys’ is the stuff that bestsellers and box office hits are made of.

 

Eternal good is eternal becoming or eternally moving forward to greater life. Eternal evil is to cease becoming and “to be” that which was in the past – JJ Dewey

 

I guess it therefore comes as no surprise that some spiritual seekers are forever obsessing about the evil they fear may be creeping up on them. One only has to tune in to a few podcasts, or watch the latest online videos, to witness the spiritual community’s fixation on everything evil. Indeed, fundamentalism is not only found among the religious and the dogmatic. Some of the ‘spiritually enlightened’ and ‘intuitively evolved’ seem to insist on clinging to medieval concepts and out-dated superstitions.

Instead of being fully devoted to unconditional love, kindness, generosity, selflessness and the greater good, much energy, time and money is being spent every day fighting evil entities and keeping the ‘darkness’ and its ‘extremely powerful forces’ at bay. Potions, spells and candles are actually the very products that keep scam psychics and fake mediums in business. All this while the true battle of Armageddon is being fought right here under our noses, in the streets in front of our houses.

There is no dominating source of evil, because if there was, we would not exist, nature would not exist and neither would the Universe. It is counter-productive to assign so much influence and power to something that is in fact just vast emptiness, non-entity and anti-matter.

 

To rid ourselves of our shadows – who we are – we must step into either total light or total darkness. Goodness and evil – Jeremy P. Johnson

 

I have often said, and will say it again, if you want to know true evil just switch on the evening news. If you are curious to see the real face of Satan, you will find him lurking on the cover of celebrity magazines, in newspapers and on political campaign posters. The battle between good and evil is not being fought in the spiritual realm. Spirit knows no anger, envy, fear, violence or hatred. The real war is happening in mundane places, like the television set in your parlor or at your child’s school.

If you want to find demons, shadow people or anti-Christs, look for them in our educational institutions, communities, churches and governments. If you truly want to find evil incarnate, seek it among the school bullies in our midst, those who drive their peers to suicide or post vile online jokes about their deaths.

Stop hunting ghosts, witches, psychic vampires and energy thieves, and rather expose the narcissists among us who dominate, dictate and destroy so many relationships, families, careers and lives – devoid of empathy and compassion. Search also the boardrooms, public offices and parliaments. There you will find among our leaders and kings many ego-maniacs who abuse their power, corrupt their economy and violate the basic human rights of their people, while they wage senseless wars on their critics and each other.

 

It is a man’s own mind, not his enemy or foe, that lures him to evil ways – Buddha

 

Evil, darkness, threat and fear are not spiritual forces… they are the evil creations of man. JJ Dewey writes that “all forces, powers, and energies are neither good nor evil in themselves. They are completely neutral, but only become good or evil when they are intelligently directed.” He also states that “all energies and creations vibrating in their pure state are good.” And that is the whole point. Focusing so much of our thoughts, feelings and intentions on evil, instead of that which is good, is counter-productive and contrary to our Divine Purpose. We are here to serve each other and grow, expand and become, not to cast an exaggerated, ominous shadow over all that is potentially good in the world.

The spiritual realm is much like the natural world. It is in essence breathtakingly perfect, completely harmonious and utterly flawless. I have yet to meet an evil animal or discover a satanic plant. The only evil I have ever witnessed among plants and animals are the scars left on them by the inhumane, dark deeds of men. It is certainly not the devil who is trashing the environment, abusing the animal kingdom or trampling the hearts of loving women and breaking the spirits of brave men.

The Divine Light that you and I come from, and will return to one day, knows no evil and does not recognize the power of these shadows that some so willingly fear and follow. Believing in the supremacy of evil entities and dark beings implies that we all come from a spiritual place of imperfection. It suggests that the Divine Source is somehow diseased, that Creation is riddled with flaws and falsehoods that dwell among us. And, worst of all, that we are so far superior in our human state that we alone are capable of fixing this broken, dysfunctional or chaotic spiritual mess.

 

The reason our definition of good and evil changes over the ages is because our capacity to understand and experience freedom changes – JJ Dewey

 

I realize that for some it must be fun to indulge in this paranormal soap opera, but most of us simply don’t have the time, or the inclination. We know we have much work to do, gifts to offer, blessings to share. We are the Wounded Healers, the Empaths, the Shamans, the Indigo Children, the Starseeds, and the Lightworkers. We speak to the Angels, listen to our Spirit Guides and trust in the guidance of our Ancestors, Ascended Masters and Loved Ones. We fight true evil by saving the planet and healing humanity, by drying one tear at a time.

We have no need for spells, talismans or obsessive-compulsive psychic defenses, for we are surrounded by the everlasting and indestructible shields of Love, Peace and Harmony. The phenomenal power of our Spiritual Heritage surges through our being every moment of every day. We are illuminated by the Divine; there is much Light around us.

The spiritual evolution of mankind is our ultimate aim, our Divine duty. As we continue to expand the Universe, this dazzling, bright Light we carry will continue to emanate from us with much Glory. And we know that there shall come a time when there will be no more evil among men. And we shall know that all is Good.

© 2010 Anthon St Maarten

Spooked

On a whim Sunday morning, we decided to head to Estes Park. The elk are wandering through town right now, and the giant bulls didn’t disappoint with their huge antlers. They were holding up traffic on the main thoroughfare, and really didn’t care much about that.

After watching these guys eat their way through town, we headed over to the Stanley Hotel. Those of you who are Stephen King fans will know that following one night in Room 217, he returned to Boulder and wrote "The Shining" in seven days.

And then there are the Ghost Hunters episodes. Their first trip there, they have video footage of a closet door opening and closing and a glass shattering on its own. There were beds and tables moving that freaked out the guys. Then they did a live Halloween edition in 2007. This weekend they were back for a conference and for some research.

With not much encouragement, we decided to take the tour. Kevin was our guide, and quite frankly, he was the best guide I think I’ve ever had. After giving us the tour of the first and second floors, we went up to the fourth floor. This is where the nannies and children stayed. Room 401 is where Jason (from Ghost Hunters) experienced the closet door opening and closing. Room 401 was occupied, so he took us around the corner to Room 404. Kevin wouldn’t tell us anything about the room, but being one of the first to enter, I stood over by the closet. He asked if anybody wanted to go into the closet, and I thought, "What the heck?"

I opened the door and immediately felt a cold rush from above. She felt it too. Goosebumps went down my arms and legs, and the hair stood up on my neck. The rush of energy was like when you get a mild electrical shock, but tehre was no pulling away. I didn’t say anything, but was secretly a little freaked out. I moved out of the closet to listen to Kevin. As I stood there, I could feel cold fingers playing with my pant legs. I could feel myself get flush. I rolled up my sleeves, then noticed that the bed ruffle was moving. After everybody left, I knelt down and ran my hand under the bed. Again, cold air, which was quite a contrast from the very warm room.

From there, we headed to the basement, and into "The Cave" — a passageway for the employees, from 1909 to the mid-1950s. As we stood in there, I felt somebody "playing" with my hair. I ran my hand over my head, nothing was there. I checked above my head, nothing was there. But the playing continued for the entire time we were in the cave.

That’s where the tour ended, so we went up to the dining room for some lunch. We decided to call Madame Vera, the resident psychic at the Stanley and set up an appointment after lunch. Her office is the other side of the wall where I was standing when something was playing with my hair. We talked to her, and she said that the "nannies" like to play with people’s hair. She also told me that the "children" like to touch legs and hide under beds, because that’s what kids do. The one that was harder to explain was the blast from above when I first opened the closet door. 

Afterward, I sat outside and invited any spirits who had attached themselves to me to stay at the Stanley.

I definitely think I need to go back. Soon.

A True Ghost Story–for Halloween and My Wicca Friends

“It looks like a coffin—a brick one.”
 
“Yeah, thanks for your input, George.”
 
My buddy George and I were standing in the driveway of my new home—a tiny brick house I had just rented after my separation. It was all I could afford. It wasn’t much bigger than the typical mausoleum one finds in the better cemeteries. Vines, grasping their way up from the exposed dirt near the foundation, spread out like fingers over the house’s front face, deterred in their skyward reach only by the overhanging roof. I felt myself choke. I shook my head, repeated the word ‘optimism’ to myself, looked at George and said “Let’s go in.”
 
Two floors; two big rooms. The lower floor smelled of mildewed carpet. I figured I’d put my weight machine down there. George cupped his hands around his mouth and yelled “Hello, anybody in here?” No answer.
 
The upper had a small kitchen area; a kitchenette. I’d do all my living topside. Bathroom, tiny, with old fixtures. The place had been cleaned, of course. Odd, I noticed a few strands of hair in the sink—long, black hairs. The cleaning lady’s? They weren’t George’s—he was bald. They weren’t mine; I’m blonde and look like I fell out of Northumbria. Oh, well.
 
As I closed and locked the kitchen door I caught a glimpse of myself in one of the small paned windows. For a second or two I looked at this face and realized I was on the verge of tears. Then the face seemed to change, only for an instant, a flash, into the face of a young woman, a woman in tears. Then it was back to my face. A trick of light, no doubt.
 
The first night after I moved in was uneventful, or so it seemed. I had driven the couple of hundred yards down the road to The Indian Leap, one of Norwich’s last biker bars, and spent a twenty on Bass Ales. A young woman, late twenties, smiled at me from the other side of the bar. I sent over a White Russian. I didn’t follow up; it was just too soon. As I finished my last pint and stood to leave she shot me a look of disgust. Just too soon.
 
While washing my hands in my bathroom sink I glanced at my face in the mirror. Despite everything, still youthful. Only tiny wrinkles at the corners of the eyes. Nothing to proclaim that I was a man in his early forties except my thinning hair, which was slightly askew. I noticed the hair brush: A clump of long black hairs. I pulled out the clump. It seemed to be wet. I chucked it in the toilet in disgust and flushed. I washed my hands, and for a second thought the sink turned red. I looked again and the porcelain was milky-white. I shivered, and my spinal fluid turned to ice water.
 
I searched the house, downstairs first. My weight machine stood guard, mute. The upstairs? No one in the kitchenette, no one in the big room that held my recliner, television and bed. Back door locked; dead bolt. Somehow I felt the Sphinx was laughing at me.
 
The next day: On the Internet looking for freelance work. My desk was near the picture window so I could look out across the street and behold Norwich’s famous Rose Garden, still in full bloom—red, white and pink—in July. Once—just once—I wheeled about in my office chair, sure someone was looking over my shoulder. The air behind me was cold, even in the summer heat. But there was nothing there, except for the print of the lone winter crane, perched on a snowy branch, on the back wall. I shivered.
 
Later that day I ventured into the Garden to meditate: standing post meditation, in which you squat, arms in an arc, for up to an hour. Opens all the acupuncture meridians. I was doing an advanced meditation, in which the pineal gland is activated—the so called “third eye.” The seat of psychic powers, according to ancient tradition. Perhaps wisdom.
 
I didn’t know if there was anything to it; I didn’t feel any wiser, just bitter over my impending divorce. Back to the Indian Leap that night. The young woman from the previous night wasn’t there—probably thought I was gay. Six or seven Bass ales; I left a little drunk.
 
The hops in India Pale Ale make you sleepy. I slept the sleep of the sepulcher, a sleep of utter darkness without dreams. Until near dawn; when I dreamt of tiny fists pounding on the bottom of the box spring–as if someone had squeezed under the four or five inches of space under the bed. I awoke, eyes blinking wide open to stare at the cheap foam ceiling tiles. I felt another flurry of pounding fists reverberating through the mattress. A child’s fists? I sensed tiny knuckles poking my back. Then they stopped. I didn’t move. I focused on my breathing, gathered my courage, threw off the sheet and leapt out of bed. The digital clock read 5:30 a.m.
 
I grabbed my hickory fighting cane—which I kept near the bed in case of an intruder—and swept the hooked handle under the bed. Nothing. That wasn’t good enough. Kneeling was difficult because of my damaged hips and knees; I lay on the bed and ducked my head over the side. Nothing but dust, which already had started to accumulate.
 
That was it. Nothing more happened for months, until I decided to move on. The landlord let me out of my lease early.
 
The night before the move I stayed out of the bars to have a clear head for hoisting furniture the next day. I went to bed early.
 
…Diaphanous. She floated over me, wordlessly, her black eyes, caves in a coal mine, weeping tears of what seemed to be anguish from the contortion in her shockingly white face. Then the tears turned to blood; I felt them dripping on my chest. I felt an electrical charge; contact with the field of powder blue light enveloping her. She started to sink toward me, inch-by-inch, and I felt myself rising; not me, but my penis. Then she disappeared in a puff of white light and I ejaculated…
 
I sat bolt upright, breathing hard. Above me, only the ceiling tiles. I felt my chest; dry, no tears, no blood. My penis was at half-mast and my groin and boxers wet and I smelled the bleach-like smell of semen. The clock—12:01 a.m. I flicked on the light on my night stand. The room was empty, save me.
 
I washed up and changed my boxers and tried to go back to sleep. The light remained on. The last time I looked at the clock it was four. Then I drifted off, only to be awakened by tiny fists pounding on the bottom of the box spring. Somehow, it wasn’t as frightening the second time. It stopped. The clock read, again, 5:30 a.m. I didn’t bother looking under the bed.
 
The landlord came by toward the end of the move to collect the keys.
 
“Nice having you here.”
 
“Yeah, nice.”
 
She turned toward her car in the driveway, hesitated, then turned back to face me.
 
“Did you know this house was haunted?”
 
“You’re telling me now?” I laughed.
 
“It seems the previous owner, who lived here, killed a young woman with his car on the turnpike in the early morning hours. He sold the place to me for a song; he was in an absolute panic to leave.”
 
“That’s news to me.”
 
A month later I drove by and the “For Rent” sign was gone and the place was occupied. Just for kicks I drove by a few months later and the “For Rent” sign was up again.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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