Tag Archives: perseverance

“Affirmations Are B.S.” and Other Things You Shouldn’t Believe

UpwardBy Orion Talmay

“Affirmations? Yeah, whatever… I don’t do that new age B.S.! That’s only good for weak people with no self-confidence! The people I train don’t need that crap!”

I actually heard these words from one of my fitness mentors I look up to. His huge resistance to the idea of affirmations was kind of shocking to me. I, for one, believe in “that stuff”. Does that mean I am weak? Is it all a scam to make us feel better about life? Am I just a hippie dreamer?

In my free-spirited late teens, I read two books that really shaped me. One of them was The Power of Your Subconscious Mind by Dr. Joseph Murphy. Murphy spoke about the power of our thoughts and how they influence what we manifest in our lives:

There is a miraculous curative force in your subconscious that can heal the troubled mind and the broken heart. It can open the prison door of the mind and liberate you. It can free you from all kind of physical and material bondage.

The other book was You Can Heal Your Life by the remarkable Louise Hay. Hay’s philosophy is similar to Murphy’s. In the book she described using positive affirmations to eliminate self-defeating thoughts: “What you choose to think about yourself and about life becomes true for you. And we have unlimited choices about what we can think.” According to Hay, an affirmation is anything we say or think, therefore all of our self-talk is a stream of affirmations. In order to change your life, you must pay attention to your thoughts and choose empowering ones. By choosing thoughts that make you feel good and stating a desirable intention as a daily practice, you are retraining your brain how to think and speak and you are reprogramming your beautiful subconscious mind.

Affirmations are the seeds of your dreams that you plant for later harvesting. By writing your dreams down and affirming them in ink, or vocalizing them out loud, you bring them into the physical realm and one step closer to manifesting. If you say a lie over and over again, won’t you start believing it? If telling a lie can affect you like that, why not tell a good “lie” – one that has the potential to change your life for the better?

Many times when I’ve gone back to read what seemed originally to be “impossible” affirmations, I actually found they had manifested in my life. Who cares if it seems weird and too “outside the norm”? Who wants to be normal anyways? Popular thinking usually turns out to be average thinking. Galileo Galilei was sentenced to spend rest of his life in prison for his ideas. He vocally supported the Copernican hypothesis that the earth is not the center of the solar system, but one of many planets revolving around the sun. Three centuries later he was called the “father of modern science” by Einstein.

When researching this subject, you will find that in this day and age, science is backing “new age” thinking more than ever before.

At the dawn of the twentieth century, the tidy, objective, mechanistic view of the world began to fall apart…scientists began looking into the world within the atomic nucleus, and they were shocked to discover that on the subatomic level, the physical world did not behave at all the way Newton said it should. In fact, the “atom” itself turned out to be a sort of illusion: The closer scientists looked, the less it really appeared to be there…And when our vision of the atom fractured, the foundation of classical physics fractured along with it. Our view of how the world works was in for a radical transformation. – John Assaraf & Murray Smith (The Answer)

Quantum physics nowadays include theories like parallel universes. It’s no longer science fiction that the power of our thoughts affect physical objects and create new realities. No longer are we in an age where meditation sounds “funny.” Today’s science backs up the positive sweeping impact of quieting one’s brain waves into lower frequencies. People are opening up to possibilities in the realm of the unknown.

The ancients knew that space is not empty; it is the origin and memory of all things that exist and have ever existed…[This insight] is now being rediscovered at the cutting edge of the sciences [and is emerging] as a main pillar of the scientific world’s picture of the twenty-first century. This will profoundly change our concept of ourselves and of the world. – Dr. Ervin Laszlo (as quoted in The Answer)

When I train my clients, my rule is: no negative self-talk. “It’s too hard”, “no way can I do it” are being thrown out the window in the first session. I know for a fact that the body reacts to what you tell it. What you affirm feeds your future blueprint. One of my favorite clients once said “OMG, I am so bad at lunges”. So I told her: “Let’s change your self-talk about lunges. I think it would serve you better to instead say that I am getting better and better”. She looked at me frazzled and really forced it out uncomfortably, saying: “I am getting better and better.” Guess what? She did get better and better, AS SHE WAS SAYING IT! She started listening to – and modifying – her self-talk outside of our training sessions and consequently improved on achieving other personal goals.

But affirmations are not enough! If you look at your dirty laundry and say all day long “My laundry is getting cleaner and smells great” nothing will happen… You have to take action. Say you can do it, then do it! Just like saying I am getting better and better, while lunging. Affirmations will put you in the mindset to take action. They will keep you focused on your goals and desires. They will keep your unconscious mind open to all great opportunities around you. Previously you may not have noticed your self-talk if you were not attuned to it; but now that you are aware of its power, you will know to leverage it for positive action.

Please comment below and share your questions, stories, and experiences with affirmations. I would love to hear your thoughts; I greatly appreciate the feedback!

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picOrion Talmay is a fitness expert and life coach who helps her clients transform their bodies and their lives. Her fitness skills include yoga, weight training, kick boxing, Aikido, MMA (mixed martial arts) and Krav Maga. Orion completed the Tough Mudder, a 12-mile extreme obstacle course with an ice pool, electric wires, buttered monkey bars, and more. She’s not all hard-core though; she is also a woman of the arts — loves to dance and sing, went to acting school, and speaks three languages. She is a graduate of the American Academy of Personal Training and is AAFA, AAPT, KBA, and Zumba certified. She is currently working on an online coaching program for weight loss and self development, designed to empower people across all aspects of their lives: physical, mental, social and spiritual. Orion is also working on her first book, about transformational change. Originally from Israel, she currently lives in sunny Santa Monica, California.

5 Attitudinal Traits of Winners

Screen Shot 2013-07-16 at 11.19.34 AMBy Lyna Jones

“You will turn out to be an alcoholic and a prostitute, just like your mother. You are too stupid to do anything else.”

This sharp statement would resonate in my ears daily for nearly four years. My foster mom apparently didn’t perceive any potential in my 13-year-old self. Ever since that statement, I have been fiercely determined to win the game of life and break the chains of my past. I knew that my strength of will would ultimately liberate me from the ruinous patterns of my family.

Winning isn’t everything. The will to win is, as are the mental tools to become the victor of your own existence.

Here are the 5 fundamental traits of a winner that have permitted me to claim the happiness that I own today.

1. Staunch Perseverance

The only person who holds the chief capacity to get in the way of your goals is yourself.
Anything and everything is possible if we possess the staunch willingness to persevere until we reach our destination. We must recalibrate our mental focus upon our destination every single day. It becomes a personal value that shapes our character and refines our approach to win. Thomas Edison was the epitome of perseverance: He conducted nearly 10,000 experiments before finding a filament that would burn in the electric light bulb.

Perseverance does not entail an obsessive repetition of the same behavior and techniques but the ability to re-assess our approach keeping our end goal in mind. The path of high-achievers is paved by failures, rejection, and discouragement. But the winning mind is simply never deterred by such momentary setbacks. It strives forward with tenacity and resolve.

2. Clarity of Purpose

Do your dreams truly come from the innermost part of your soul or do they belong to somebody else? Our family, environment, peers, and cultural expectations, role models, largely influence us. It is paramount to live up to your authentic dreams. Let yourself stand for your individual truth. Honor and pursue the jolts of your own heart. Embrace your peculiar preferences. We are often programmed to fit into the current societal norms that we loose touch with our unique desires.

My childhood dream was to become an attorney-at-law. I was persuaded that such a profession would automatically earn me the approval and respect of the others. That dream was irrelevant to my soul. It was not carved out of a passion for the law. It was chosen to impress others. Clarify your vision. Write down your burning pursuits and their accompanied reasons. Let go of what is not genuinely yours to create space for your soul to barge in. Let authenticity be the authoritative mark of your dream.

3. Always Learn More

Winners are fully committed to developing their craft. Become a perpetual student to increase your knowledge, your value, and your confidence. A winning mind stays teachable. Tiger Woods is the greatest golfer in the world. Yet he works with a coach, Sean Foley, to sharpen his swing.

People with the most information always have an advantage. Develop a system to increase your repertoire of information. I maximize my daily 45-minute commute to work to listen to personal development audio books and podcasts, which is the equivalent of a book per week. My life schedule is extremely tight but I make my free time very productive.

Learn more. Accumulate experiences. Bust through the walls of your comfort zone to propel your growth forward.

4. Look Forward

How do you feel about your future?

You are not your personal history.

Let your past be your mentor for the positive lessons it contains and leave the darkness of the past behind. The elements of your past can be immensely useful if embraced as constructive blocks for a better future. Anything is possible because nothing is certain in the future tense. Winners assume the energy of a triumphant outcome.

5. Core Confidence

You must become your biggest fan.

If you believe that you can, you are right. And if you believe that you can’t, you are also right.

Develop a self-belief so strong that it will ineluctably compel others to support you in your journey. Know that you possess the necessary skills, mindset, and self-concept to prevail in the end. Enough positive self-talk will burst through any obstacle so give up your “I can’ts”. My primary goal since first witnessing my mothers drunkenly fall outside of a bar has been to set my soul on fire in order to teach others self-reliance, determination, and the power of self-love.

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Born and raised in Normandy, Lyna Jones is a Certified Life Coach with a staunch desire to help others step into their extraordinary life. Having endured many grave hardships throughout her journey from childhood into young adulthood, Lyna is equipped with passion and perseverance. Still growing and developing as a writer, she is a passionate individual dedicated to inspire and galvanize each soul she works with.



Do You Have the Grit It Takes to Follow Your Dreams?

Screen Shot 2013-06-04 at 1.50.34 PMHave you ever wanted to give up on something that you really, really wanted because it was just too darn hard to keep trying? 

You can’t run one more step, write one more word, endure one more dead end? Join the club.

Can I Sit Down Now?

But, before you throw in the towel, there’s something you should know.

People who succeed at getting what they want in life aren’t smarter, more talented, or luckier than you.

They just might have something psychologists call grit: the ability to keep going no matter what. Grit, it turns out, may be one of the most powerful ingredients in your success recipe.

Smart Grit

I’m not talking about trying endlessly to reach a goal where the chance of victory is close to zilch, like opening an ice cream shop in Antarctica. Although never say never.

I’m talking about the grit you need to stay on your healthy diet, save money, or start that business. Grit is different from willpower, the ability to focus for snippets of time, say, just long enough to resist that cookie. Grit is willpower’s big brother. It’s endurance for the long haul; the stamina to keep going even when you stumble.

I Want Some Grit, Please

When I was writing my doctoral dissertation, an intense research project that was my final step before getting my PhD, I needed a giant dose of grit.

That’s because the dissertation experience can be pretty grueling. I’d met students who were in dissertation-anxiety support groups, and I’d watched exhausted graduates–sporting newly spawned gray hair–lumber down the aisle to finally accept their diplomas, some after ten years. It was clear; I was going to need some serious stick-to-itiveness if I wanted to make it to graduation before my social security benefits kicked in.

Santa To The Rescue

My own grit arrived in an unexpected flash of inspiration. In the midst of a late night writing session, I suddenly remembered a television show my brothers and I watched every year at Christmastime called “Santa Claus is Comin’ To Town.” In the show, there was a song I never forgot called Put One Foot In Front Of The Other.

I suddenly realized that to complete my dissertation, that’s exactly what I needed to do: put one foot in front of the other. Rather than looking at the enormity of the task ahead of me, I needed only to write one word, one paragraph, one page at a time. If I could do that–over and over again–I could find my grit and finish my dissertation.

To remind myself, on the wall over my computer, in big blue letters, I taped the words “Darlene, Put One Foot In Front Of The Other.” When I felt my spirits sag or there was a unexpected detour, I looked up at those words on the wall. I pushed ahead–one step at a time–and made it all the way to graduation day.

You Can Do It!

Are you chasing a dream that feels distant? Or do you want to improve your life in some way, but it’s hard to stay on track? I know it’s tough to keep going when you’re alone on your path or the road ahead is unclear.

That’s why I want to share with you the 3-minute video clip that inspired me. Watch it, and remember its simple message: put one foot in front of the other. Those words were so encouraging to me, they’ve since become my personal mantra. No matter where you’re headed–one step at a time–that’s how you’ll get there.

What Are Your Dreams? A 7 Step Strategy for 2011


One of the main reasons people don’t get what they want is because they don’t know what they want.

 Write down your top 8 dreams for body, mind, heart and soul. Be succinct and clear or you’ll start to feel confused and overwhelmed. If you have too many, narrow it down to the essential 8.

Then write one thing you can do every day to bring them into reality. For example:"I want to be happy. I commit to 2 minutes of laughter meditation every day". "I want to be fit and healthy. I commit to walking at least 120 steps every day". 

By keeping your dreams simple, clear and doable on a daily basis, the likelihood of them coming true increases by 80%!


Keep a journal to record EVIDENCE that your dreams are coming true. Each day, notice when you feel happy, when you feel healthy and fit and write it down. When you log into your journal positive EVIDENCE that your dreams are happening, it increases your confidence and ignites your passion to persevere, even on less-than-optimal days.


Thoughts create words which create actions.Keep your thoughts positive. If you find yourself slipping into doubt, for example: ”I’ll never be fit and healthy – I don’t believe it can happen for me”, reel yourself in and remember that you can RE-FRAME every thought into a positive.  “I love myself and I’m taking steps every day towards feeling fit and healthy.”


Avoid naysayers, negative TV and news reports like the plague. Keep yourself connected to people who also want to stay positive and go for their dreams. Isolation is a dream-killer. Read free newsletters, blogs,and Facebook pages with positive messages. If you’ve already read my book "Laughter, Tears, Silence,: Expressive Meditations to Calm Your Mind and Open Your Heart"  read it two more times. Seek out positive reinforcement in inspirational workshops, webcasts, articles.

Join my next Laughter Meditation 101 teletraining. This monthly one hour call guarantees to keep you connected to like-minded positive people.


All wins, big and small are important. What we focus on expands. The more you celebrate and share your wins, however small, you expand your capacity to receive even more goodies. You are creating a HABIT OF SUCCESS. Even if you have nothing in particular to celebrate, celebrate anyway, celebrate yourself for having the courage to follow your dreams.


Right Timing is an essential part of the dream manifesting process. If things are not happening fast enough for you, remember that the universe has the big picture overview, not you. You might have to be patient and TRUST that what is meant for you will come to you at the right time, not a day sooner, not a day later.


Gratitude for what you already have is key to attracting what you want. Law of Attraction states that there are two types of vibrations: positive and negative. Being grateful keeps you in the positive vibration and attracts even more of what you already have into your life. Is that good or good?

Here’s a powerful meditation for you to practice to help you be aware of your thoughts.

4 Minute Meditation: The Power of Presence
The power of your presence shines so much light and love on your inner world that negative thoughts dissolve and only peace, wisdom, and joy remain. Problems either dissolve or solutions arise.

Sit comfortably with eyes closed. Watch the thoughts passing across your mind. It doesn’t matter if they are good or bad thoughts. They are all thoughts. Let them pass by. If you notice yourself drifting into the past or the future, take a deep breath and, with non-judgment and compassion, come back to the present.

I look forward to reading about your dreams in the comments. To your success!

Pragito’s new book is available now:  Laughter, Tears, Silence:Expressive Meditations to Calm Your Mind and Open Your Heart 

Pragito offers: Free Weekly Meditations; Laughing Buddhas Network(it’s free to join); Laughter Meditation 101 Teletrainings and more. Visit her website: www.discovermeditation.com

PHOTO (cc): Flickr / rappensuncle



Embracing Obstacles: 3 Ways to Turn Challenges into a Hurdle-Jumper’s Paradise

Unless you’re a hurdle runner or a high-jumper, you probably don’t like obstacles.  They seem to slow you down and block the way to goals.  But they also build character. 

1.)    A good obstacle can test resolve.  If a runner sits down in front of the first hurdle without even trying to get over it, then she doesn’t deserve to win the race.  The people who win are the ones who make continued, solid efforts and persevere.   Good runners, scientists, artists, teachers and writers know that it takes persistence over long periods of time to achieve results.  Most face multiple trials, frequent rejection and even ridicule at their drafts and plans before achieving a level of competence that will bring them name and fame.  Only those who persist in perfecting their work will succeed.  Thomas Edison, renowned for inventing the light bulb failed over and over before he found the filament that worked.  When others criticized him for being foolish and wasting time, he replied that he’d found 9,999 ways that didn’t work.  Imagine if he had not continued on to the 10,000 attempt to invent the light bulb.  The world would be a much darker place.

2.)    Challenges strengthen us for future trials and tests.  Remember being back in school?  A mid-term test checked progress and we had to pass it to move onto the finals.  Life presents tests in the same way.  Without occasional trials along the road we don’t know our own strength and capacity.  Embrace the tests and welcome them.  They’ll teach you how tough you really are.

3.)    Getting stuck behind a hurdle only becomes problematic if you don’t recognize you’re blocked.  Becoming aware of the obstacle in the path is the first step to getting over it.  One of the harder things in life is continuing to learn and grow.  It’s easy to get stuck repeating the same comfortable routines and going to the same places over and over.  It’s harder to move out of one’s comfort zone and try something new, reach out to new people and learn a new skill, craft or art. Life long learning means taking the risk of looking ridiculous.  Learning a foreign language without having native speakers smile or laugh is virtually impossible.  The best way to get past worry of ridicule is to take yourself lightly and keep a sense of humor.  If you stick to it, soon they’ll stop laughing and start admiring the progress you’ve made in a new language. 

Obstacles offer opportunities to open new doors and view things in another way.  Embrace and welcome them.  If none existed life would get pretty boring and we wouldn’t know our own strength and ability. 

Bio: Debra Moffitt

Debra’s essays and articles appear in publications around the world and focus on drawing attention to the spiritual in a mostly material-minded world. She’s on the faculty for The Sophia Institute’s 2010 Program (www.thesophiainstitute.org) and gives workshops around the U.S.and Europe. Her fiction was broadcast by BBC World Services and appears in literary magazines. Read more at www.debramoffitt.com

This body/mind/spirit writer touches people with her simple, direct language and makes complex spiritual practices clear and accessible. In her forthcoming book, "108 Spiritual Practices for Challenging Times" she describes walking labyrinths, creating sacred space, meditation and dream work with humor and lightness. Drawn from ancient spiritual traditions she makes the tools accessible to everyone from Buddhists to Baptists and beyond.

 PHOTO: Flickr / texaseagle

Live in Harmony with Reality

"The truth is that the only time we ever really "fail" at anything in our life is when we mistakenly walk away from it before we’ve allowed it to teach us its secret ways."

How do we normally develop a new skill? For example, how do we learn to high jump? We listen to instruction, and perhaps we watch someone else; but for the most part, we learn by doing; by trying it ourselves. Generally, with our first attempts we end up crashing into rather than clearing the bar, and when we do, there’s no denying it. We can see, and feel, that we’ve come up short. Our collapsed condition tells us, unmistakably, that we’ve done something wrong. So now, we try a new angle of approaching the bar, or a new technique of leaving the ground. We do this over and over. And each time we fail to hit the mark, we see we’ve made a mistake and we alter our behavior, knowing that eventually our self-correction will lift us to the success we desire.

These elementary but exact laws of learning are the same when it comes to our psychological and spiritual development. Each time we feel an emotional pain, we should use that as a signal that we’ve made a mistake, that we’ve crashed and now need to find and try another new way. For example, our presently pained position is the proof that our past responses to personal crises are inadequate to clear the barriers we still are crashing into — that we not only need a new way to meet life, but that our old ways just don’t work.

The problem for most of us is that we rarely allow ourselves to learn in this way. We have hundreds of experiences each day in which our expectations crash into reality. Whenever this happens, we have a close encounter of the truthful kind, because in that same moment of trial we see for an instant that we really don’t know what to do. These small and large self-crashes in themselves are not a problem. They are, in a way, the school of life. The problem is that we won’t admit we don’t know what to do. We don’t use the event to learn a new response. Instead, we become defensive and return to the same mindset that led to our latest collision. We tell ourselves we understand the cause of getting hurt, and that we know what or whom to blame. And once we’ve assessed fault through this unseen faulty approach, then we know what to do. Some self pops up and tells us to "act happy," "eat something," "call a friend," "think about it."

But none of these responses has ever made us better equipped to handle the next crisis.  We persist in our belief that we know what to do, and instead of trying something different, we just return to the familiar route.

Until we understand where the true cause of our unhappiness lies, we can never be happy. As long as our preconceived notions about life run into the reality of it we will continue to feel like we’re on the losing side, and since we do not learn from the crash, the process continues. We feel that our lives are out of control, and they are.

We start learning from life when we stop blaming reality, and accept that it was our lack of understanding that created the perceived problem. Our sincere wish to learn cannot fail to attract the healing truth we desire, which can then become a part of us and act through us. This can only happen through our own self-work. No one can tell us the truth, for then it would not become a part of our own nature. We must test our beliefs and question our responses for ourselves. When we begin to understand the truth about reality, and our own place in it (because we have actually entered into it for ourselves), that truth, along with all its power, becomes our own.

(Excerpted from Seeker’s Guide to Self-Freedom by Guy Finley, Llewellyn)

Guy Finley is the acclaimed author of more than 30 books and audio programs on the subject of self-realization, several of which have become international best sellers. His popular works, published in 16 languages, are widely endorsed by doctors, professionals, and religious leaders of all denominations. Among many others, his popular titles include: The Secret of Letting Go, Design Your Destiny, The Lost Secrets of Prayer, Apprentice of the Heart, Let Go and Live in the Now, and The Essential Laws of Fearless Living. Finley is the founder and director of Life of Learning Foundation, a nonprofit center for self-study located in Southern Oregon where he gives talks four times each week. Visit www.GuyFinley.org for a wealth of free helpful information, free audio and video downloads, and to request your free Self-Improvement Starter Kit. 

Discover the Secrets of Being Unstoppable



sometimes I feel like I’m dying,

sometimes I feel like I’m coming alive,

sometimes I don’t feel like trying,

sometimes I feel like I’m touching the sky

it’s a long road, growing,

with ups and downs and turnarounds, 

it’s a hard grind, knowing

if I’m building it up or tearing it down

state of flux, no way to tell

whether I’m sinking, or whether all’s well,

muddle through is all I can do,

until the truth lights up my view ….

…. that’s when the walls fall, 

and I break through.


Determination to Achieve Your Goals

I believe that a key aspect of successfully achieving our goals is knowing which goals to set in the first place. Expending energy toward goals over which we have no control and no influence is a waste of energy. But when we sharply focus our powerful mind on what we bring to our own job/work, our own relationships, our own health, and our own lives, then anything is possible! The focused energy of the human mind is unstoppable! Nothing can prevail against a determined will to win:

The Will To Win

If you want a thing bad enough
To go out and fight for it,
Work day and night for it,
Give up your time and your peace and
your sleep for it 

If only desire of it
Makes you quite mad enough
Never to tire of it,
Makes you hold all other things tawdry
and cheap for it

If life seems all empty and useless without it
And all that you scheme and you dream is about it,

If gladly you’ll sweat for it,
Fret for it, Plan for it,
Lose all your terror of God or man for it,

If you’ll simply go after that thing that you want.
With all your capacity,
Strength and sagacity,
Faith, hope and confidence, stern pertinacity,

If neither cold poverty, famished and gaunt,
Nor sickness nor pain
Of body or brain
Can turn you away from the thing that you want,

If dogged and grim you besiege and beset it,
You’ll get it!

— Berton Braley 

May you feel re-energized to determinedly pursue and achieve your goals!

To read other motivational and inspirational thoughts throughout the day, follow me on Twitter:


How to Get Back on Track

Oh dear. The last straw landed. You veered off the road. You’re on your knees in the dirt, wondering how to get up and continue to carry the heavy load. The temptation to lean forward and topple onto your face, to give up altogether, looks pretty good right about now.

If you’re only in a ditch, don’t look around for a chasm.

You have options in a ditch. Shove off the heavy load, just for a few minutes. It’s not going anywhere. Have a sip of cool water. Wipe the sweat out of your eyes. Lean back and take in the stunning view of the sky. Breathe deeply without the burden of weight on your shoulders. Slow down.

Then consider your heavy load. Do some sorting. These straws here are so old they’re never going to provide anyone nourishment. Toss them blithely over your shoulder. Good riddance. And the load was ridiculously lopsided. Here, bundle this bit together neatly, and that bit, too, and the whole thing balances much more easily. Right, then. Off you go.

Focus on the stop, not the drop.

When something goes wrong and you feel exasperation and futility rise up, focus on the thing that went wrong. Don’t succumb to the allure of the deep drop that sucks everything else into the darkness with you. Just because the load was too heavy and you fell into a ditch doesn’t mean you’ll never get to the market, or your partner will kick you out of the cottage, or the villagers will shun you, or you’ll die poor. Fix the one thing. Adjust the load. Move on.

The ditch is a dip. The chasm is a choice.

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Pep Talk | Ditch the Chasm, on www.highlysensitivepower.com

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