Tag Archives: Positive thinking

Intent of the Day: Choose Positivity

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Today we’re looking to turn around some of this gloom with a burst of positivity. With the recent rush of emotions coming from all directions, it’s time to find a firm place to plant our feet and we hope that is in a place where we can do good and move forward. So our intent is to make a choice and that choice is to choose positivity.

You too? Here are 3 resources to help: Continue reading

Is Jealousy Preventing You From Getting What You Want? (Part 1)

danes-300x300I’ve written many past articles about how emotions and thought patterns are associated with different energy frequencies.  For instance, strong emotions like hate, anger, and disempowerment, are associated with lower energies (scientists can now actually measure energy frequencies associated with brain activity and emotions).  We also know from the basic principles of law of attraction that like energy vibrations attract each other.

What this basically means is that if you think hateful thoughts, you are more likely to attract people, circumstances, and events that are a vibrational match to those thoughts.  Sometimes, this is easily apparent- like when you see a really angry person that turns off everyone around them- they just seem to have a negative vibe.

But most of us don’t have just one strong frequency or emotion going.  We think millions of different thoughts daily, and all of those thoughts have their own unique frequency associated with them.  Most people also vary in their emotional set point from day to day, and therefore tend to get mixed results in terms of what they are manifesting.

More subtle emotions that we don’t always outwardly show, like those of jealousy or envy, for example, also have detrimental effects on our energy that may not be as obvious.  So how exactly can an emotion like jealousy (wanting someone’s attention) or envy (wanting what someone else has) sabotage our energy and dampen our manifestation efforts?

Jealousy has a boomerang effect. A jealous thought about someone does little to the person you’re thinking about.  To the contrary, the thought simply bounces off that person, and comes back to you.  Let’s say you’re thinking about how someone you know has more money than you, and perhaps you believe that they don’t really deserve it because you work a lot harder than them.  The Universe then reflects that thought back to you and simply reinforces your core belief, which in this case, is something along the lines of “there is injustice in the world, and people are succeeding unfairly.”  It doesn’t matter if the thought is actually true.  If it reinforces a negative core belief you hold, it is ultimately detrimental to your manifestation efforts.

Jealousy amplifies insecurity. Feeling jealous about the lack of another’s affection or attention towards you, for example, has an underlying root cause of insecurity.  Let’s say you are insecure about some aspect of yourself (your looks, your inability to attract or keep a partner, others’ perception of you, etc).  Although you may not be consciously thinking about it, you are activating and holding a chronic underlying vibration of insecurity.  This underlying insecurity often manifests as the emotion of jealousy towards a partner or another person.  The partner then senses the insecurity, and causes the negative energy frequency to expand in both your lives.   When you feel jealous, therefore, it works best to take your attention away from the object of the jealousy and point the finger back at yourself.  As you clean up your own vibration of insecurity and doubt, the object of the jealousy often becomes a non-issue.

Jealousy signals a lack of self worth. We only usually covet what someone else has when we don’t feel worthy or capable of receiving it ourselves.  People who feel confident in their ability to live their dreams and manifest their desires rarely feel jealous of others, regardless of how successful or happy another is.  When we get frustrated about our hard work and efforts not panning out, or see success coming easily to someone else, it makes us doubt our own worthiness.  This sets up a vicious cycle where a feeling of envy or jealousy (even though it’s a negative thought about someone else) just makes us feel worse about our self, not better.

In next week’s article, I’ll be providing some practical tips about how to erase jealousy and envy in our lives through proven ways to increase emotions like confidence, worthiness, security, and self-love.

A Focus On The Positive Is Key To Success In Addiction Recovery

think positiveOne of the best experiences I had in writing my book “The Law of Sobriety” was the opportunity to think back on the clients I have worked with throughout the years. By looking at many different cases I was able to clearly see patterns emerging that signaled either success in addiction recovery or a return to the life of an addict.

The biggest issue that I noted and, in my own life have found to be true, is that the more that you focus in on what you want in a positive fashion the more likely you are to reach that goal. The clients that I worked with that used the positive influences, energy and elements in their life were the most successful in recovery and continue to be throughout their life.

Most people, when they think about their future, think about what they don’t want to happen. They don’t want to be addicted, don’t want to hurt friends and family and don’t want to experience that constant downward spiral. Focusing in on what they don’t want brings a negative energy and mindset to your recovery. In keeping with the Law of Attraction you know that the more you dwell on the negative the more this becomes a reality. On the other hand, focusing in on the positive goals and objectives you have allows you to tap into the powerful energy in the world around you.

Key ways to set positive goals for your immediate recovery and life include:

  • Take the time to really understand what you want in your life. What your friends and family want for you is important to consider, but you have to make the decision for yourself in order to be authentic and honest.
  • Think both short and long term when setting goals. Short term goals are like milestones that will help you achieve your long term goals as a sober, happy person.
  • Seek help and work with an addiction recovery therapist, coach or counselor that can assist you in taking full advantage of the power of the positive energy in your life.

Getting help in goal setting and focusing in on the positive goals in your life is a critical part of your recovery. This is a central part of charting your path forward and dealing with issues, challenges and the reality of this important lifestyle change.

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Sherry Gaba LCSW, a psychotherapist and life, love and recovery coach, is featured on Celebrity Rehab on VH1. Sherry is the author of  The Law of Sobriety, which uses the Law of Attraction to help people recover from addiction; she is also a contributor to Conscious Entrepreneurs, and to several e-books: Empowerment Manual: Finding Purpose with Intention, Filling the Empty Heart: 5 Keys to Transforming Love Addiction. The e-books Relapse Prevention and Eliminate Limiting Beliefs can be downloaded free of charge at www.sherrygaba.com. Contact Sherry for webinars, teleseminars, coaching packages and speaking engagements.

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Super Thoughts: 5 Ways to Make Yours Empowering

Beata Zita“Your mind is a garden. Your thoughts are the seeds. You can grow flowers, or you can grow weeds.” ~Author Unknown

I’m a long-time believer in the power of our thoughts, and I tend to focus on the positive. But, sometimes, those darn thoughts just spin out of control and go on their own little tangent, taking us along for the ride. This happened to me recently, but it served as a good reminder of just how powerful our thoughts are.

I was messing around online when an article caught my eye. There was a local headline about a fatal motorcycle crash. Eeek, bad news, for sure. Normally, I would avoid clicking on such an article just because I prefer not to fill my conscious with the gruesome details of the unfortunate things going on in the world. However, I couldn’t help but click this time. You see, my father sometimes rides a motorcycle and the crash happened within a few miles of his home. I felt a strong urge to read more. When I clicked on the article and started reading the details, my heart sank. While the identity of the motorcyclist was not released, the details of the crash had it taking place on a road, in a direction, and at a time that could have easily been my dad. I gulped. Very aware of my own body, I could suddenly feel my heart rate quicken and my breathing become more shallow as my chest tightened up. It was an uneasy, although not completely unfamiliar feeling. I started to feel a deep sadness and worry. I did not like it at all.

“Okay, wait a second,” I said to myself. I had no idea how many motorcycles drive down that road on a given morning, but it had to be a lot. It was a very busy intersection, after all. Plus, I didn’t even know for sure if my dad drove his bike that day, or if he even took that route. There was no real logic behind the sudden panic feeling. I was being crazy, and I knew it. In fact, I did confirm shortly thereafter that all was well with my father. Phew.

This example of the human mind at work is something we can all relate to. It’s just how we’re wired. From back in the caveman days, we were programmed with a “fight or flight” trigger, which used to have a very real purpose (you know, running away from dinosaurs and such). Though we have evolved quite a bit since then, our brains are still wired very similarly. The reaction I felt in my body was actually a defense mechanism. My brain was preparing me for danger. And, despite the incredibly low probability of that bad news actually pertaining to me, from a logical perspective, my brain treated it as if it was actually happening to me. In fact, the feeling was so real that it was indeed my reality for those few moments while the feelings took place. I had created my own illusion just like each and everyone of us go around creating our own illusions on a daily basis. Our perception is our reality.

I tell this story to help others become more acutely aware of their own thoughts and just how incredibly powerful they are. Isn’t it funny how our brains work? From worrying about something that hasn’t even actually happened to reliving a moment in the past to making assumptions that what other people do or say has anything to do with us at all – these are all ways that our mind likes to create illusions for us! And, yes, we are ALL a little bit “crazy” like this at times.

The good news is that as powerful as our thoughts are, we can work to take control of them and harness that power for good. Here are a few pointers on how to do just that.

  1. What are you thinking? Notice whenever your mind starts reeling and also take note of the physical changes in your body. Knowing really is half the battle. A mentor of mine, Angela Jia Kim of Savor the Success, says there are really only two types of thoughts: empowering ones and dis-empowering ones. Simplify it to that level, and learn to ask yourself in any given moment, how is this thought serving me?
  2. Check Yourself. Don’t get me wrong sometimes we really are in danger … but, usually not. Is there really a “dinosaur” chasing you? Is it really about you? Give your self an ego-check. In addition to trying to protect us from (often imaginary) danger, our ego likes to make us feel really special and like everything is about us. But, upon a little logical reasoning, we can realize that whatever dis-empowering thoughts we are having are not actually about us or even real at all. With this awareness in hand, we can then work towards changing them.
  3. Just breathe. This simple nugget of wisdom can be applied to just about any uncomfortable situation. Breathe it out. Deep breathing actually has a physiological effect on our nervous system that sends out neurohormones to basically tell the stress hormones to take a chill. Visualize as you practice breathing. Inhale peace slowly and deeply through your nose into your diaphragm and exhale stress slowly and completely out through your mouth. Continue this until you feel calmness restore.
  4. Fill your consciousness with positive and uplifting ideas. Since thoughts are energy and they turn into our reality, why not feed your brain with some good stuff? From the articles you read to the people you hang out with, to the TV you watch (or not), you are setting the stage for what kind of thoughts will go into that beautiful little noggin of yours. Fuel your mind with knowledge that empowers you. Surround yourself with people who lift you up.
  5. Practice Mindfulness. I can’t recommend a mindfulness practice enough. It helps us become so much more aware of our thoughts and what’s going on with our bodies. It keeps us connected with our core being and intuition. While meditation is definitely at the top of the list of becoming more mindful, there are many other ways you can practice. Yoga is another wonderful one. However, it can also be taking an introspective walk or doing your favorite in-the-flow activity: maybe painting, sewing, or playing an instrument. Regularly practicing these mindfulness enhancers will help you stay grounded, and to keep those crazy thoughts at bay.

Learn to harness the power of your thoughts and enjoy the reward of unlimited peacefulness and joy!

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photo by: ckaroli

6 Action Steps to Release Anger

We are taught to not feel angry.

We are taught, however, that anger is “bad” and that you “shouldn’t be angry”.  Have you ever felt angry or resentful but have been unable to express it?  Perhaps you were fearful of what the consequences may be.

 We did learn as children, after all, that showing our anger usually meant getting punished.

 The truth is that anger is a necessary emotion.  You need anger to motivate you into action when some sort of injustice has been done to you or to someone you love. Anger occurs when you feel that you are not being seen, heard, valued or respected.  You need this negative emotion to stimulate the actions that will initiate change.

 What is not necessary is the behavior that arises from anger that can be damaging to you and others—when you react with a punch or vengeance, rather than respond with clarity and balance.   Research even shows that such reactivity can hurt your health. Hostility and anger, for instance, have been linked to an increased risk of heart disease.

To respond with clarity and balance, you want to be able to allow yourself to be angry, then release it as you heal your own hurt.

Here are some things you can do: 

1. Allow–allow yourself to feel angry. You have every right to feel this way. You are not “bad” and you are hurting no one by allowing yourself to “feel angry.”

2. Acknowledge to yourself
that you are in need of attention, value and comfort.

3. Express & Release--anger is a powerful force of energy that needs to be let out—watch kids. When they are angry, they scream. When as children we are taught that it is bad to scream, we are essentially being told that it is bad to self-express. Here are some ways to let it out:

a. Scream into a pillow.  

b. Get a punching bag and beat it up–
what I prefer, because I prefer not to experience pain in my hands, is do a qi gong exercise (which is actually something that many wisdom traditions do) is get two small paddles and a bag of rice in burlap. And hit it as you scream AAAAH. It is good exercise too!

4. Anger release journal-
-this is in my book: You set the timer for 15 minutes, give or take a few minutes.

Then, you write without stopping. Write obscenities if you want about you why you are angry. Write without thinking as you
let it out.

When the timer goes off, stop writing and place your hands on the words. Say these words out loud: “I now release you from my body.

Then destroy the paper–burn it or shred. But create a ritual.

This entire process reprograms the notion of allowing, expressing and releasing.

5. Heal--this is really important. The reason you are feeling anger is because you feel invalidated, disrespected, not seen or heard, etc.

To help you be less reactive in the future, you deserve to receive love and know that you are loved just because you are alive.

–You can use your imagination here or go to a ‘live person’ to allow yourself to receive love. If you do not have someone you can go to, you can imagine that a divine parent is holding you and telling you that they love you just because you are alive.

6. Do the DIG. This is one of my favorites.  

Again, anger stems from feeling de-valued, feeling robbed of your dignity, integrity and not being treated with grace. You can do it yourself. Imagine the sun shining down around you so that you feel held, safe and protected from the world, and let it pour into your body so that it fills you up with dignity, integrity and grace. Then repeat to yourself: Dignity, Integrity and Grace.

You can do this one in the moment, and the amazing thing, is that as you change internally, the person you are next to will change too. Seriously, if you put up your dukes, that other person will too. If you open your heart, they will too!  

Originally published in 2009

3 Tips for Getting Out of a Funk

Some days we can be caught in a gloomy funk with no clear way out. But being in a bad mood isn’t the issue: It’s how we handle it that is. A typical response to a bad mood is to try to force it to stop, but controlling your mood can actually make you feel worse. Instead of swimming against the stream, swim with it. Learn to let your mood pass with these simple steps.

Step 1: Honor how you feel
The first step toward getting out of a bad mood is to honor your emotions. Find a comfortable, quiet space and sit for one minute of stillness. Become aware of how your mood is affecting you physically. Identify the tension in your body and take five deep breaths in and out. Breathe into the discomfort and allow yourself to be present in the experience. This step will help you accept whatever it is that you’re feeling.

Step 2: Flow with it
Now that you’re aware of how your mood feels in your body, it’s time to just flow with it. Take action by doing some kind of physical activity, like dancing, running or stretching. Move with your emotions, and eventually they will move through you.

Step 3: Choose to let it go
Often we get stuck in a bad mood because we’re unwilling to let go of negative thoughts. Now that you’ve taken steps to shift your energy, it’s time to shift your mind. Commit to letting go of your bad mood through the power of positive thinking. Set your alarm clock with the affirmation, “I choose happiness instead of this.” Set this alarm four times throughout the day. When the alarm goes off, recite the affirmation in your mind. Continue this step throughout the day. Your mental commitment combined with your breath can create miraculous shifts.

Use these three steps any time you’re in a funky mood, and trust that swimming with the stream will always lead you in the right direction.

Gabrielle is the best selling author of Spirit Junkie and Add More ~ing to Your Life. She is also the founder of HerFuture.com the social network for women to inspire, empower and connect. For Gabrielle’s free guided meditations click here: gabbyb.tv

photo by: kozumel

What a Surprise? You Hold the Key to Longevity

Everyone is destined to die. It’s like this analogy: We all come in the middle of the movie and we all leave in the middle of the movie. However, you can maximize your good time in the theatre. To live longer and with a better life quality you need to know how to harness your power.  Here is the formula:  The more things you love and enjoy, the longer you will live.  A positive outlook is intricately connected to longevity and life quality.

Essentially, you can to a good degree will yourself healthier.  Think yourself timeless. Scientific research to date asserts that the secret to a long life may be linked to your personality. Are you living in chronic stress or do you let perceived insults slide off as though you massaged olive oil on your body?

A study (May 2012) in the Journal Aging analyzes people who lived 100 years or more in relatively good health. The common denominator for all the participants is a positive outlook, an authentic cheerful demeanor. Nir Barzilai of Albert Einstein Medical College while focusing on the genetic reason for longevity, interestingly enough became aware that hopeful feelings and resilient thoughts contribute too. In fact, past scientific research has claimed that chronic stress shortens DNA telomeres and shorter telomeres are a concrete marker for accelerated aging.

Dr. Albert Levy, MD, a Fellow of the American Academy of Family Physicians and a professor of Medicine at Mount Sinai School of Medicine in New York explained to me during a radio interview that throughout the years he has observed that his healthiest patients have the happiest demeanors.  Happiness and optimism boost the immune system to function at peak performance. Perhaps, happy people take better care of themselves too.

6 steps to extend your life journey and make it joyous. Now, step on it!

  • Practice reinterpreting the negative into the positive. Tell yourself a better story as your life depends on it. However, if you are still angry, put all that churning energy into a positive purpose. Get passionate with righteous indignation to effect a change for the better.
  •  Make the unconscious conscious as Freud said. Stress is based on individual perception. Become aware of your stressors. Don’t suppress them; give them a voice and let them go. The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 80% of patients’ symptoms presented to their family care practitioners are stress-related.
  •  Listen to your body to figure out what your mind is trying to tell you. Physical symptoms of stress can potentially unlock a mindset: Back pain- who is not supporting you? Stiff neck – feeling stubborn and unyielding? Stomach pain – a bruised ego? Acne – an angry eruption? Head ache – Overanalyzing? Knee pain – Afraid to move forward? Laryngitis – lost your voice?
  •  You are what you eat to the extent that food and mood correlate highly – eat quality foods. Also, stop having a food fight. Remember to savor your food and really taste it.
  •  You are what you absorb. Bad moods are contagious. Move away or at least put up an emotional barrier like an invisible wall when you are near toxic people. Read and watch uplifting stories.
  •  Move your body and the mind will follow. Create movement that matters, so that you mind your muscle. Have a positive intention for your exercise regimen and reap the emotional rewards.
photo by: Steve-h

6 Strategies to Confront Your Transition Fears

Transitions are inevitable.  Sometimes, the prospect of making a transition is exciting, but more often, it can be scary.

How do you handle transitions, especially when you feel you are being forced into making a change?  Like when you are being forced out of your home because you cannot pay the mortgage, or pushed out of your job because there is no money to pay you.  Your partner wants to end the relationship, or your body is aging before you are ready.

Change is often scary because of the associate uncertainty.  Wherever you are now, even though you might be miserable, you can at least trust that it will stay miserable.  The whole point of being in transition is that you do not know where you stand in the moment and where you will stand in the future.  So fear sets in.

Will I find another job? Will I lose my home? Will I find a new love?  Will I get sick? Will I be enough or have enough?

Your brain is always asking this question at any given moment anyway–will I be enough or have enough?  Sometimes the answer is “yes”, and often the answer is “no.”   When you brain falls into the “not enough” perception mode, it’s called ‘stress.”  When your brain perceives that you are in stress it triggers the stress response, which sets off a series of biochemical and physiological changes like causing your heart to race, you blood pressure to go up, your negative emotions to take over and your mind to shut down (to name a few).

If the perception of stress goes on for too long, eventually the mind will shut down more, the body will break down, negative emotions will take over, destructive actions and behaviors take the reigns, and you might find yourself more miserable and alone.  Fear begets more fear.

Loss and change cannot be prevented in life.  It would be nice if we could prepare for them or predict the future.  The reality is that the future is uncertain and that anything can happen, positive or negative.  The reality is that you can control your own physiology so that you don’t stay in fear, but find your balance, stay level-headed and keep yourself open to the positive possibilities the transition may offer you.

When you shift your physiology out of fear, you can move into positive expectancy or the belief is that anything is possible. Your perception changes so that you see the transition as an adventure, rather than a curse.

Here are some tips shift your physiology:

1.    Allow yourself to feel fear, anger or whatever negative emotion you feel–you have every right to feel this way.

2.  Connect with others: reach out to friends or other loved ones or a therapist or counselor and ask them for help. Tell them you don’t want advice, but just to be held; to have a space held for you so that you can rest and heal.

3. Connect with your beautiful self:  do something loving for yourself because you deserve it–massage, retreat, etc.  I call these “love me gifts”

4. Practice self love always–do not berate yourself.  Hug yourself. Look in the mirror and keep saying “You are fabulous!”

5. Connect with something larger than you-– You can take a walk in nature or you can connect with your imagination:

  •        Imagine golden light shining down upon you surrounding you in unconditional love and grace like a shield of light (Part of my SHIELD techniques).
  •        You can imagine a divine presence like a divine mother or father holding you and nurturing as if you were a baby.
  •        As you allow yourself to be held, say these words to yourself:  “The support I need is here.  I am loved and lovable.”  Say these words often, over and over and eventually the subconscious will take them in as truth.

6.  Practice laughing out loud–start by saying Hahahahahaha slowly and then faster and faster.  Laughter is the best medicine

You have to break up the fear response, even if only for a short period.  When you feel better, your transition just might move more smoothly.

Originally published in 2009

photo by: rvthomas67

Understanding The Power Of Self-Sabotage Thinking

Have you ever found yourself wanting something with all your being but yet being afraid to attempt to obtain your desire? Have you ever had an opportunity present itself but you passed because you were afraid that you might not succeed? Almost everyone can answer “yes” to one if not both of these questions, which indicates that self-sabotage is a common issue that everyone has to work through. People in recovery, as I discuss in “The Law of Sobriety” have a bigger battle with self-doubt and self-sabotage that others and need to spend time learning about their negative thoughts and how they are blocking the ability to change.

Self-sabotage occurs out of fear, usually fear of failure. People with addictions have made promises to themselves and others in the past that have not been kept. They have very negative thoughts about their ability to make positive changes and to make the most of opportunities provided by the universe around them. Instead of trying, they allow fear and self-doubt to stop them. This is directly related to allowing negative thoughts and energy to control your life. Making a change and bringing positive energy into your life starts with getting rid of those negative thoughts and doubts and seeing yourself as a success.

To see if you are self-sabotaging your opportunities and the positive energy in your life ask yourself the following:

  1. Why do I think that I cannot succeed in this venture? Is it because of something in the past that is influencing how I see the outcome of this situation?
  2. How would my world look different if I made an attempt and kept a positive perspective on this opportunity in my life?
  3. What is the reason behind my negativity? What am I afraid of if I were to make an attempt and succeed?

Understanding how negativity is shaping your life is important to be able to change your perspective from “can’t” to “can” and start bringing positive perspectives into your life.

PHOTO (cc): Flickr / Toni Blay

Don’t Spill On Your Shirt

I was picking up my clothes at the dry cleaners when I overheard the conversation. “I asked him not to spill on this shirt—it’s the one I gave him—but naturally, he spilled on it.” She rattled on, “I wanted to go out for steak, but naturally he chose an Italian place and of course he got tomato sauce all over it.”

An engaging story, it made me think that likely at one time or another we’ve each worried about spilling on the clothes we wear, probably because it’s one of our favorite pieces. And there are a few of us who are also guilty of saying to a spouse, “please, don’t spill on your shirt.” With all the worry and concern, ultimately we usually find a spill on that favorite shirt. Why is that?

The Law of Attraction

Tip #1: What you focus on you receive. That is to also say, what you say you want, is what you get. Okay, yes, the sentence is: “don’t spill on your shirt.” Glad you asked. Here’s the answer.

Tip #2: The Universe responds to the action verb—not to linking verbs, contractions or negative adverbs (such as the word “don’t.”) In our shirt example “spill on my shirt” is the action you actually place energy on. And, that’s the energy to which the good-hearted Universe responds.

Sound complicated? It’s simple really. And those two little tips will greatly advance your success in attracting what you really want. Here are some starter steps:

  • Practice actively listening to the words you think and speak.
  • Capture a few sentences in your daily routine and mentally diagram them out to the core subject, verb, and object, deleting any linking verbs, contractions and negative adverbs you hear.
  • Say the remaining words aloud. Remember: what you say you want is what you get.
  • Make wording corrections as needed for your positive expression and gain. For instance, in our example, try saying instead, “I keep my shirt clean.”
  • Repeat new sentence 3-5x with positive energy.
  • Follow with “and so it is.”

Practice active listening, and positive thinking and speaking in all areas of your life. As you step away from the old slang, you will be delighted in attracting more and more of your heart’s true desires. Just relax, and keep your shirt clean.    Angel Blessings~ N   www.MainStreetAngel.com

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