Tag Archives: positivity

I Intend to Keep Holiday Happiness All Year Round

flowerhappinessI have to say the holidays from Thanksgiving to New Year are my most favorite, but not just because of all the festivities. The family and food and wine and chocolate, and I love to give gifts. My mom is the most amazing seamstress and every year we create something for her to make. We give them as gifts; made by hand and imbued with our love.  There is such sweetness in thinking of each person, what will bring a twinkle in their eye and a deep wrinkle-causing smile to their face.

That smile is what I love.  For most of the year, getting my friends and family to smile like that seems harder than convincing Kim Jong Il to admit he’s been holding Elvis Presley hostage all these years. Seriously, life seems to be so full of busy this and busy that these days, we often don’t take the time to stop and smile from the depths of our soul, a smile so wide our eyes squint and we see the world just a little bit differently.

But something happens just after we take that first bite of Turkey. It’s like the Turkey (or maybe it’s stuffing, could be the stuffing) alters our DNA. It’s as if eating pumpkin pie (or any holiday pie) is the magic porthole that sucks us into another dimension where life is just…well…altered. I look around and everything appears to be softer, diffused, and just a little bit blurry, in a good way. All the worries of the year seem like a distant memory.  And everyone is smiling like a Cheshire cat.

And just like Alice in her wonderland, I too have fallen down a rabbit hole, but this one is warm and fuzzy and full of love and all things good, and I have no desire to find my way out of it. I float about this new world where everything is made of candy canes and marshmallows and even as the snow falls, I still feel warm wrapped in my favorite winter scarf, that one I only seem to wear during the holidays.

The vibrations of love and joy wind upwards all the way to January 2nd where I wake up, and after surveying the empty champagne bottles and confetti, realize that somewhere in the night I transported back to reality. I see the pile of bills on the table by the door, the Christmas tree is looking dry and tired, and dust has collected in the nooks and crannies of my collection of Santa’s from around the world. And I know it’s time to put it all away for another year.

And for a while I feel sad. I miss my house filled with people, all laughing and singing, having too forgotten about their woes for a while. I miss the jolly feeling I carry with me, as if I’ve had just enough bubbly to make me float. My feet are firmly on the ground now, ready to face another year of busy this and busy that.

With each year that passes, I notice I’m less interested in the New Years resolutions. I’m less interested in creating vision boards I probably won’t live up to, and I know that life will creep up on me and chaos will ensue. I like it that way. I’ll dream a dream and go about bringing it to life; I need not make a list for that to occur, and dreaming and doing is what we humans do, after all. But as we embark on another year of living, I reflect back on the years I’ve already lived and I am happy with all my doing. For sure there is more I could do, more I should do and more I want to do, and I will, but underneath all of that, there is a smile as wide as Texas and this year I’ve decided not to put that smile away with the Christmas lights and the stockings. This year I intend to wear that smile all through the seasons. And when I begin to forget that feeling of warmth from the fire I sat by on Christmas Eve, when I lose site of the glow that shines from the holiday lights that herald the joyous season, I’ll put on my scarf, close my eyes and smile like a kid on Christmas morning.

Like Betsy’s intent? Support, share and adopt these similar intents on Intent.com!

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Intent to stay positive

DIY: Create a Jar of Awesome for 2014

We can all fall victim to the negative sometimes or end up in funks that last weeks or months because we don’t feel satisfied with where we are in our lives. It’s a natural rhythm, but how can we pull ourselves out? What can we do to remember the positive things – no matter how small – to remind us to be grateful for the advantages and blessings we already have?

You create a Jar of Awesome.

The idea has been floating around Pinterest for a few years now, but as Intent is heading into a major make over in 2014 we wanted to share this idea with our audience. Get yourself an empty mason jar, bottle, or small box – any empty container you choose. Decorate it with paints or glitter or markers – write positive sayings on it, quotes that lift you up, paint it a ridiculously bright color – whatever you choose. We’ve included a gallery of some of the favorites we found on Pinterest that you can use for inspiration.

Once your jar is decorated to your liking, find a visible place for it and keep it near a small notepad or stack of sticky notes. Starting on January 1st, every time something positive, inspiring or awesome happens to you write it down on one of those sheets of paper. Write down the date if that helps, or not (it’s really all up to you) and put it in the jar. Make the commitment to yourself to try and stick at least one piece of paper in the jar a day. Encourage your friends to also make jars. Then on December 31st of next year throw a get together so you can read through all the great things that happened to you over the past year.

The jar also works for mid-year or quarter-year slumps. Whenever you start to feel taken over by the negative, open the jar and read through the great things that have happened to buoy yourself back up. This is a great DIY craft to do with your family or with a group of friends at your New Years party. At the end of the year it’s a really fun way to share your memories and to reflect on everything you’ve accomplished over the year (It’s way more than you think it is). The potential to make 2014 awesome is up to you, and creating this jar is just one tool to help you get there.

What would you put on your Jar of Awesome? If you’ve made one show us your pictures in the comments below! 

How Awareness and Positivity Will Lead You to Lasting Wellness

photo remix: Yoga woman on exercise ball - flickr_enthusiast_rocks_Nilmarie_Yoga-001Whenever you start a new diet or weight loss program there is one important question to ask yourself: why? Don’t stop yourself at the simple answer “Oh, I want to lose a few pounds to fit in those new jeans” or “I don’t want to feel self-conscious in a bathing suit.” Dig deeper. Many people begin the journey to permanent weight loss and overall wellness because they feel that being healthier will make them happier. While being healthier does give you more energy and confidence, you can’t expect it to cure all of your unhappiness. In fact, in Deepak Chopra’s new book “What Are You Hungry For?” he argues that tending to your personal and emotional wellbeing as you begin your weight loss program is absolutely key to making the changes stick.

While no one can claim to be happy constantly, Deepak advocates that being in tune and aware of your body and emotional state allows you to better fill its needs. “It’s an infallible kind of radar,” Deepak says, “Awareness allows you to sort out what you’re doing, how you feel, what you fear, hope and wish for – indeed everything in your life.”

You are living an unaware life when you unconsciously follow habits and rote behavior without question. Do you often let others take charge of your life or feel emotionally trapped by those around you? Isolating yourself and cutting off your connections to close friends and family can be another sign that you are out of tune with your body and need to increase your awareness to make permanent change.

You can help gain awareness by including a yoga practice or meditation in your diet and exercise plan. “Peaceful practices such as yoga or meditation to help build a refreshed sense of self,” explains Sports Club/LA nutritionist Karen Sherwood. “This is the glue that seals in the new lifestyle as the body begins to change physically, resulting in a new stream of motivation.

Being aware and working to keep a positive attitude will inevitably help keep you motivated as you progress towards your goal, and push you over hurdles or plateaus you reach along the way.

“Making any change is very emotional, so if you are starting this change from a negative, pessimistic place or allow yourself to go to that negative place, you won’t succeed.” Ginger Mallory of Sports Club/LA says. “However, if you vow to remain positive no matter what challenges may come with making this change, you will succeed! Your state of mind going into this will absolutely make or break you.”

But how do you find that awareness and keep that positive attitude? If you feel yourself slipping try these tips from Deepak.

  • Remember that you are both loved and loveable
  • Appreciate where you are – Even if you are just starting out, recognize the power in making the decision to make a change versus where you were before you took the first step.
  • Feel good about who you are – You are more than your shape or waist size. Remember that you are a worthy person and this process is only to make you healthier, not to change you in any way because you’re amazing the way you are.
  • Maintain loving and supportive relationships – Support will be key in this process. Stay close to those who inspire you, push you to be better and support you on the days when you can’t get to that place of positivity by yourself. Let them help hold you up.
  • Experience a deeper connection with a higher form of love – It doesn’t mean you have to prescribe to any specific religion, but connecting with a force or faith bigger than yourself can help you channel frustrations and negative feelings that arise out of your system. It can help buoy you during this transition and be another force to propel you forward.

This blog is part of our “What Are You Hungry For?” series with Sports Club/LA and to celebrate the release of Deepak Chopra’s latest book. Find out how you can win a copy of your own here and tell us what you are hungry for in the comments below. If you don’t want to wait for the give away you can purchase a copy of Deepak’s book today. 

photo by: adria.richards

A Focus On The Positive Is Key To Success In Addiction Recovery

think positiveOne of the best experiences I had in writing my book “The Law of Sobriety” was the opportunity to think back on the clients I have worked with throughout the years. By looking at many different cases I was able to clearly see patterns emerging that signaled either success in addiction recovery or a return to the life of an addict.

The biggest issue that I noted and, in my own life have found to be true, is that the more that you focus in on what you want in a positive fashion the more likely you are to reach that goal. The clients that I worked with that used the positive influences, energy and elements in their life were the most successful in recovery and continue to be throughout their life.

Most people, when they think about their future, think about what they don’t want to happen. They don’t want to be addicted, don’t want to hurt friends and family and don’t want to experience that constant downward spiral. Focusing in on what they don’t want brings a negative energy and mindset to your recovery. In keeping with the Law of Attraction you know that the more you dwell on the negative the more this becomes a reality. On the other hand, focusing in on the positive goals and objectives you have allows you to tap into the powerful energy in the world around you.

Key ways to set positive goals for your immediate recovery and life include:

  • Take the time to really understand what you want in your life. What your friends and family want for you is important to consider, but you have to make the decision for yourself in order to be authentic and honest.
  • Think both short and long term when setting goals. Short term goals are like milestones that will help you achieve your long term goals as a sober, happy person.
  • Seek help and work with an addiction recovery therapist, coach or counselor that can assist you in taking full advantage of the power of the positive energy in your life.

Getting help in goal setting and focusing in on the positive goals in your life is a critical part of your recovery. This is a central part of charting your path forward and dealing with issues, challenges and the reality of this important lifestyle change.

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Sherry Gaba LCSW, a psychotherapist and life, love and recovery coach, is featured on Celebrity Rehab on VH1. Sherry is the author of  The Law of Sobriety, which uses the Law of Attraction to help people recover from addiction; she is also a contributor to Conscious Entrepreneurs, and to several e-books: Empowerment Manual: Finding Purpose with Intention, Filling the Empty Heart: 5 Keys to Transforming Love Addiction. The e-books Relapse Prevention and Eliminate Limiting Beliefs can be downloaded free of charge at www.sherrygaba.com. Contact Sherry for webinars, teleseminars, coaching packages and speaking engagements.

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How to Make Friends With the Li’l Inner Demon Voice Inside Your Head

positiveinchallengingBy Lindsey O’Connor

You know that voice that pops up during your low and vulnerable moments and makes you feel even less? The one telling you you’re not good enough, that says your thighs are too big, or your pimple looks like Mount Everest? Or that convinces you not to wear that cute, sexy top because it will show your stomach sticking out way too much in it?

Yeah, that guy. I call it the Li’l Demon.

It’s incredible how convincing and persuasive the Li’l Demon can be and how easy it is to believe it when you’re feeling a little sad, vulnerable or anxious! When something causes me stress, then BOOM! I’m all ears.

Most of the time I am fully conscious that what this voice is saying is far from the logical and rational truth. But that little demon can be deceptively comforting, because it’s my comfortable “go-to” in a stressful situation. It just peeks over my shoulder and says, “Oh, you’re feeling anxious? Let me help you.” ..NOT.

I keep getting this image in my head:

herculues Too bad he’s not some cute, cuddly, fuzzy baby slothy thing saying this to you:

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Here are some ways I deal with this  little inner bully.

1. Don’t force that voice away, don’t try and push that demon out of your mind. The more you want that voice to go away and the more you try to forcefully separate it from your being, the stronger it becomes.

Don’t give it more power and energy by doing that, because that’s what it wants. I say things like,

“Oh hey li’l demon, what’s up? So you’re here today. That’s cool. Do you want some crayons and a coloring book? Cause I’m busy today doing my own thing and enjoying my life, so I don’t have time to listen to you. You can totes chill here for a while, but I choose to focus on things that make me happy and make me feel good about myself.”

Ok, so I don’t go through that extensive of a conversation all the time, but something along those lines. Just greet it, shake hands with it metaphorically, accept that it is a part of you today. But then go about your normal business and don’t feed it any more energy. If you need distractions from it, have a good book on hand. Call a friend to catch up. Go get coffee. Turn on your favorite music and dance or sing.  Get a hug from a co-worker or friend or loved one. Don’t let that li’l demon take over your day. Accept that it is there, give yourself a big hug and go about your business.

2. Send loving energy to where the voice is sending negativity. If the voice (in my case) is telling me that my stomach is huge, bloated and heavy, I accept the fact that those are the thoughts floating through my mind at this point and they shall pass. Then I close my eyes, breathe and hold my stomach and say how much I love it. I send it loving energy. I connect my belly with the rest of my body, which makes me stronger and more whole against that little demon. I focus on how it fills with air each time I breathe deeply. Be stronger than your demon and overcome its negativity with some self love and care.

I know that this guy can pop up at any moment – at work, at school, before an interview, with a significant other, when you’re all alone – so be prepared. Arm your sexy self with tricks and tools that you’re ready with whenever it rears its ugly head. In your car? Pop in your favorite CD and sing like you’ve never sung before. If you’re at work take 5 deep breaths and focus on a task to do.

Be cognizant of when this demon pops up. Is it with the same people? Certain situations? Specific times during the day? See if there is a pattern to it. If there is, you may want to try relieving yourself of those people and situations. Or find trick of how to handle them and the stress in a positive way.

So, all in all, the less attention and energy you give to that demon (aka the less you try and force it away and the less you focus on it) the smaller and smaller it will become.

Do you ever do battle with your “Li’l Demon? How do you make peace with it or get it to shut up? 

6 Quotes to Inspire a Weekend of Positivity

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It’s all about starting the day with the right attitude. Let go of what happened yesterday and tell yourself that today will be a good day. Half the battle is believing that a good day is possible, which opens you up to see the great things that happen all around us we sometimes neglect to see through the haze of our own drama.

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A lot of the time the thing standing in the way of what we desire most is ourselves. Tell that voice in the back of your head to be quiet and step out of your own way. You’ve got this – go for it.

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Keep going! The road to all things worth it is obviously rough and full of obstacles. Don’t let them thwart your progress. Just go one step at a time, and it all adds up. We have faith in you.

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Doesn’t just reading that make you feel better? Don’t sweat the small stuff. When you find yourself stuck in the weeds take a deep breath and a step back. Give yourself a minute to look at the bigger picture and reassess the current snag you’re stuck in. 99% of the time you’ll find it’s nowhere near as bad as you thought it was.

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Carpe diem Intent! Don’t get stuck in your head to the point you can’t see the opportunities that are unfolding right in front of you.

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Okay, we admit it. This made the list in most part for the picture, but it’s still true! The best way to create a positive atmosphere around yourself is to spread it to other people. Smile to the rude lady at the bank, don’t engage the family member that always starts the fight. You have the power to pay the positive energy forward, so do it!

Change Your Inner Voice with Positive Affirmation

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By Simona Rich

I was staying in a guesthouse room in the ancient city of Bhaktapur, Nepal. I was preparing for the night’s sleep – I switched off my laptop and was about to go to the bathroom to remove my makeup and brush teeth.

A thought came as a response to my intention to go to the bathroom – “Wait a minute, I already removed my make-up and brushed teeth! I’m so lucky!”

The last thought caught my attention. Was it really lucky to have brushed my teeth and removed make-up? It wasn’t, but the most important thing here is that my mind is so used to positive affirmations that they come out naturally, even in situations they shouldn’t.

I completely changed my self-talk. I used to put myself down a lot when I was a child and a teenager. Children always thought of me as different and thus I was alone most of the time. It was easy for me to make up imaginary reasons why I had so few friends.

When, after finishing school, I moved out of the family home and out of my country (Lithuania) to study in England, I felt more empowered to change my behavior and my life. It was as though I gifted myself a blank page of life to write whatever I wanted on it.

I started using positive affirmations to heal my mind and self-image. Although it sounded silly to tell something about myself to myself that I didn’t believe in, I continued with the practice because something in me felt it was the right thing to do.

It worked. I’m a living affirmation now. I am lucky. I’m one of those bloggers who succeeded to make a living of this art and I only need to work a few hours a week.  I live wherever I want – now in Nepal; soon I will be going back to India where I usually stay. Early next year I’ll be settling in London to organize sound therapy sessions.

I feel so blessed and happy. Yet the being that blessed me was my own self. Affirmations made me into who I am today, so my own life experience tells me not to underestimate the power of simple words said regularly and with complete focus on them.

What’s the mantra you’re going to use to empower yourself with? What is it that you really want to manifest? A change in behavior? Material riches? A loving relationship? This you can surely do if you dedicate a few minutes a day, every day, to repeating words that already embody the change you want to experience.

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Simona Rich lives in tropical South India, rides scooter, meditates, does yoga and helps people create fulfilling and unique lives. Read her story to find out how she changed her life. You can also find her on Facebook, Twitter and Google+.

photo by: lednichenkoolga

Focus On Love And Let Go Of The Rest

shutterstock_34411321I have friends who have been mad at their ex-spouses for more than 15 years. I have coaching clients who are still fighting with their siblings about something said when they were kids. I see people lose their cool when someone ahead of them in line takes too long. I see people cut each other off in parking lots and in line at the grocery store. It doesn’t have to be this way. Focus on love and let go of the rest.

I want to be really practical about this. I know that we should all just focus on love but in our world, how do we do this, and if we do, will we get pushed to the side?

The reason to focus on a loving response is that it is critical to developing a great and happy life. Though a great life can also mean finding our fit and living our passions and purpose, it really refers to how we show up to each of the moments of our lives. In each moment we have the choice to love, fear or fight.

To choose love, opens our hearts, which amplifies our internal energy. We see more, feel more and connect more. We bring in greater events and people into our lives. We are intrinsically happy which inspires greater happiness and opportunities. It is an upward cycle.

To choose fear or anger means we close our hearts. We find fault, complain, fight, feel like a victim and invite suffering. Closing our heart shuts down our internal energy. Life feels like a struggle; events take more effort and few seem satisfying.

The amazing thing about love, fear or anger is that we choose which emotion shows up. The events in our lives are neutral – we assign them a love or fear emotion. Good and bad things happen – we choose how we respond. We can celebrate the good and learn from the bad – both in a state of an open and loving heart. We can get stuck in a line and find a way to be happy. We can go through a painful divorce or break up and still have an open and loving heart.

We make mistakes as humans – it comes with the territory. These mistakes are for us to learn from and we learn more and faster when our heart is open and loving than when it is closed, afraid and angry. We get though our pain faster, rebuild faster and move on faster when we stay open and loving. And the opposite is true. The process is more painful and longer when we close our hearts and focus on fear or anger.

To live a great and happy life requires we see the joy and love in all of life – not just the good times. Learn from those who are intrinsically happy. Talk to them about what their lives are like and you will see that they have not been spared from hurt, tragedy, pain and disappointment. The only difference is they don’t stop loving when it happens. They open up and commit to all that comes with life.

Do I do this? I really try. Some days I do well, others not so well. And there are still some people in my life that bring up painful memories and living with an open heart and loving is more difficult. But I see it. I am present to it. And in that moment I can limit the closed heart by intentionally changing it. Like everything it takes practice. But the benefits are amazing. To be in a space of loving life instead of fighting with it creates opportunities and possibilities we never imagined.

Who and what events in your life need you to focus on love and let the rest go? How will your life be better by loving instead of fearing, fighting or suffering? It’s always a choice. Choose wisely.

Are you choosing love in your life? Share your stories in the comments below!

How to Own Your Flaws Like a Champ

Freedom“Hi, my name is Yael and I’m a flirt. It’s embarrassing for me. I don’t like it.”

Believe it or not, this was progress.

This is the conversation I had with myself in my room several months ago, before I fell asleep. A fairly revealing talk with my best friend left me thinking. As she had (multiple times) before, she told me that I’m a “flirt.” That “everyone” knew this and it was just a part of who I was. This offended me, so I ignored it – like we all ignore things what we wish to avoid and pretend never existed…ever. But I soon came to realize that “avoidance” is a silly and detrimental thing.

Surprise! None of us are perfect. We ALL know this, yet we have trouble looking at ourselves once we realize that we, in fact, aren’t perfect (whatever “perfect” means). We all have qualities that need fine-tuning or adjusting. To ignore them is to do ourselves a disservice. So let’s empower ourselves and get to tuning!

Years and years of self-analysis, frustration, shamelessly crying, and over-thinking have led me to a place where I know how to “edit” myself pretty effectively and relatively painlessly. Here are some tips I’ve learned that may help you achieve a place of calm and self-acceptance:

  1. Find your cave. It doesn’t have to be a cave. It can be your bed, the corner of your room, your favorite lawn chair, or even your local ice creamery (I mean…why not). It mostly just needs to be a place you call your own—one you feel blissfully comfortable in. This is your quiet place. Your place to think.
  2. Get comfortable. We’re about to do some fairly uncomfortable things, so don’t make the situation worse. Use the restroom, make sure you’re properly hydrated, and put on some sweat pants.
  3. Reflect. Think about your daily actions. Try to hone in on the things that didn’t feel right or perhaps upset you.
  4. Analyze like you’ve never analyzed before. Try to look at those little bits more carefully and figure out where they are coming from. Is this a recurring pattern? Is it triggered by something else? What can you do to reverse this? What does it make you feel?
  5. Let it all out. Now that you’ve picked yourself apart, you’ve got to organize! You can’t let these thoughts continue to stew in your brain and transform into a frightening monster you’re likely to run away from (because we’ve been running for far too long). To do this, you should write it down or say it aloud. I personally prefer the latter (though I do write quite frequently as well). When you say your issue out loud, it’s almost as if you are transforming it into an entity that is outside of your self. You hear it from a distance, and it becomes less personal, less internal, and you start to warm up to the idea that it can and should be worked with. The same goes for writing, or really any expressive tool. Once it’s out there, in the open and out of your head, it’s manageable. It’s more concrete. It’s a real, tangible thing you can handle.
  6. Put your thinking cap on and brainstorm. At this point, you should try to think of solutions for your problem. You don’t have to do this alone if you feel comfortable enough discussing it with a trusted other (but always trust yourself, first and foremost). Think of ways you can change the aspects of yourself that are weighing you down. If you come up with something, I suggest trying to put it into a short, witty mantra so you can carry it around with you in your head, all day every day. If you don’t come up with a solution, it’s not the end of the world. A lot of the time we won’t. It’s important to acknowledge that merely getting it out there in the open is beneficial in itself. The solution will come with time.
  7. Hop on to the flip side. Get positive! Just like you were once required to do when editing someone’s rough draft in high school English class, it is pertinent that you point out some flaws you may want to address (or keep as part of your quirky bits of flair), but ALSO, and very importantly, make note of the things you really like. When you analyze yourself, you need to also praise yourself for and reflect upon your positives. The things you love about yourself and that others love about you. This creates level-headedness, self-confidence, and self-esteem. Things that suffer when we acquire a tunnel-vision-focus on our personal flaws. You’re awesome. You’re great. Be patient with yourself. You wouldn’t throw out a car just because it needed a few routine maintenance checks—that would be silly. So why would you treat your self-esteem and self-confidence like that? Don’t do it. Just don’t do it. You deserve better than that!

Like most things in this world, it comes back to balance. Treat yourself with care. Do not beat yourself to a pulp with your flaws, and do not raise yourself up to the highest peak with compliments. Do not be afraid to make adjustments you really think will better you as an individual, but do not be too hasty to alter all the little things within you that make you, well… you. This process takes practice, but that practice will lead you to a comfortable place that no amount of avoidance could ever get you. I’m still working to get there, but I can’t wait.

 

5 Steps to Break Negative Thought Patterns

Road RageBy Dr. Kulkarni

Here is a simple, five step process to recognizing and breaking negative thought patterns:

1. Catch yourself in the act.

Most people don’t even recognize when they are having a negative thought, because it is so ingrained they don’t even perceive it as “negative”. They see it as Truth. As reality. Most people also erroneously assume that other people would have the same thought/reaction if faced with a similar stimuli or circumstance. For example, take the thought, “This traffic is so terrible. I am wasting so much time. I can’t believe I have to deal with this.”

While it may seem logical and true, this thought creates a stress response in the body. The basis of this thought is, “I have been put into an unpleasant circumstance that I cannot control. I will attempt to fight back by reacting negatively and with resistance.” Feel the emotional space of helplessness and anger that this thought places you in. If you hold this negative emotion strongly enough, and for long enough, you will find yourself in many, many other circumstances where you feel helpless and out of control, because Law of Attraction naturally continues to draw to you what you are most dominantly feeling. That’s why it is so important to catch yourself in a chronic, negative underlying thought pattern.

2. Recognize that you are thinking the thought; the thought is not thinking you.

This gives you some immediate relief as you realize that you are thinker of this thought – it did not just think you (although sometimes it seems as if our thoughts are thinking us). This also almost instantly diffuses the negative energy associated with thought because as you shine a spotlight on it, it loses its power. As you begin to observe your thoughts, you gain a more objective, detached perspective that helps you assess the situation more rationally.

In the example above, you may say to yourself, “I may not be able to control the traffic, but I can control how I feel. I recognize that this thought is not serving me, and I choose to not allow it to overwhelm me.”

3. Consciously release the negative energy or emotion associated with the thought.

As you release the negative emotion and tension associated with the negative thought, it has less of a negative influence on your vibrational frequency. This is an extremely important step. Remember, this is not some intellectual exercise of seeing the glass half full. You are trying to consciously change your thoughts and emotions to change your vibrational frequency and energy pattern. Releasing negative emotion at its core releases resistance so that you begin to attract more positive energy automatically.

What are the underlying emotions of being irritated in traffic, for example? Lack of control, helplessness, anger, frustration – to name a few. Are there other aspects of your life in which you feel this way? Chances are, one of these emotions might be a chronic negative emotional pattern for you. This is when you begin to see that it has nothing to do with the traffic. It never did. The traffic is just a consequence, a mirror, to what you are already feeling and vibrating. This is a powerful realization.

4. Replace the negative thought, with a more positive (but believable) one.

For this concrete example, you might say to yourself, “Well the traffic is bad, and I would rather not be here, but maybe I can use this time to take in some deep breaths and relax. Maybe I can listen to a nice song or program on the radio.” Anything can be a meditative experience, if you will let it be. Releasing resistance and negative energy is all about accepting the moment as it is, rather than fighting it. The key here is to begin to soothe yourself by telling yourself things that you can actually sort of believe – otherwise the exercise will seem disingenuous and forced.

5. Feel the positive energy or emotion associated with the new thought and then place conscious focus and attention on it for as long as possible.

This is the last and most important step. Focusing on the positive emotion and feelings of the new thought is what allows a new energy pattern to replace the old one. Your new thought might have made you feel more relaxed, less stressed, less anxious. You are now in a completely different emotional and vibrational place than you were a few minutes ago.

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smallprofilepicDr. Kulkarni is a New York City based physician, spiritual author, and personal coach.  Find her @Dr_Kulkarni or visit www.leveragingthought.com to learn more.

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