It has been sixty-five years since my parents’ wedding, a ceremony celebrating their commitment to love each other forever. Many years of dedication and shared experiences after they wed, Alzheimer’s disease stole the memories of this promise. After their diagnoses, I watched in amazement as my parents newly discovered each admirable trait which brought them together decades before.
Now refined through trials and seasoned with life’s experiences, their attraction was magnetic. My parents’ shared disease made me wonder: what keeps marriages strong despite the challenges of life we all face? I believe it is more than sheer grit and determination. Experiencing my parents’ love on autopilot led me to believe the key to lasting love is in developing basic traits which become the essence of who we are. Continue reading
The love of money may be the root of all evil, but arguing about money is the third leading reason (at 22 percent) given for divorce. Going into a marriage, two partners think they’ll “make it work.” It turns out that blending what often are two disparate views about finances isn’t quite so easy, and the issues become even more intransigent if one or both partners refuse to talk about it. Here are some ways you might be able to avoid the dreaded “D” word, and we don’t mean Dallas. Continue reading
Being married for any length of time is truly an accomplishment these days. Just last week a woman asked how long I had been married and when I said forty years this July, her eyes got huge and she said, “To the same person? How is that possible?”
When we got married people were taking bets on how long our marriage would last. The average bet was between two weeks and two years because of our age difference and personalities. Let’s just say, my husband is calm, wise and conservative and I am the exact opposite. I do remember feeling really shaky when I said my vows. … “for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and health, till death do us part.” Now that’s a huge promise! Could I really do this?
Flash forward forty years. We are still married, happy and love each other, although it hasn’t been an easy road and our relationship has been tested on many occasions, and I’m sure more will come as we navigate through our senior years.
Someone once said, “I married you for better or worse, but not for breakfast and lunch.” I never really understood that until now. Obviously, when couples first get married, it is exciting challenging, romantic and fun. And then if children come along, the marriage gets even more interesting and challenging as people try to raise their kids, together. But after the kids are gone, and retirement looms, people start to feel displaced as their roles in life change. Who are we without our careers and kids? What do we have to talk about? And why do we keep bumping into each other in the kitchen?
So in order to keep a marriage going all the way to the end, here are six rules of engagement to keep the fires burning. Continue reading
She didn’t know anyone whose marriage had survived separation, but here it was, staring her straight in the face. The woman, we’ll call her Wendy, had only been married a few short years but it was obvious that things were getting stale.
He wanted out. Separation. Relationship halt.
She didn’t see that coming. Aside from things being stale in their young marriage, there wasn’t anything major going on. No affairs or big fights. Nothing that would indicate that her husband was particularly unhappy with her. So when he wanted to move into another apartment, she was in shock. Now what?
When married couples contemplate such a move, it can be scary. Being separate typically means there are big problems, and big problems can lead to divorce. Separation just prolongs the questions. Will this work out? Will we find our way back to each other again?
Wendy kept their separation a secret save for a few who were closest to her. Mostly, she cried alone at her house, or at her desk at work. She cried a lot. Likely she thought about all the things she should have done while they still lived together. Regrets loomed.
Was it all too late? Continue reading
What’s the key to finding long-lasting love? How many of you know the difference between a fling and real love? Is there an actual recipe to pure, genuine emotional intimacy? Believe it or not, the secret to building a strong romantic relationship is made of a blend of feelings – lust, respect, adoration, trust and many more. Love is artistic and not necessarily scientific. There are times when we fall in love for all the wrong reasons, and even though we know it might damage our soul, we do it anyway. Are you willing to take a leap of faith in the name of love? Here are 10 tips to help you find real love.
By Brigitte Cutshall
Were you aware that chronic stress is linked to the six leading causes of health issues? Heart disease, cancer, stroke, lower respiratory disease, and accidents. Chronic stress can affect your brain, raise your blood pressure, and reduces your immunity and ability to heal.
At least 75% of doctor office visits are for stress-related complaints stemming from job stress. It’s a $1 trillion per year “under the radar” health epidemic according to Peter Schnall, author of Unhealthy Work.
The cost to treat those with chronic diseases (from stress) is about 75% of the national health expenditures per the CDC. Chronic diseases cause 7 out of 10 deaths each year – but are preventable and treatable.
Chronic stress not only affects the physical aspects of your life such as health or general energy level, but it can affect job performance and personal relationships. For this reason, every person needs a stress management strategy, a way to focus on personal empowerment and feelings of “loss of control” in check.
Dealing with cancer twice and a brain tumor diagnosis confirmed that I can’t take anything for granted. I want to be there for my family, watch my kids grow up and thrive. This reality made me stop, take a step back and evaluate my life, intentions and overall goals. Developing a stress management strategy was important. My curiosity also led me to become a certified health coach and health advocate.
Here are 6 essential tips I recommend to help you develop a stress management strategy: Continue reading
By Gracie X
A long-term relationship or marriage is a blessing—but what do you do when the doldrums set in? How can you see your spouse with fresh eyes? Appreciating everything you have together and awakening what may have gone dormant? Continue reading
By Petra Kreatschman
Are you that girl nobody can believe is still single… to the point it’s getting really annoying to hear that again and again?
You have a great career, wonderful friends, cool hobbies and a full life. You are fun, smart, hot, independent and accomplished, yet – no serious takers in the romantic department.
You can’t help but wonder: where here are all the great men? Taken? Busy exploring some remote wilderness or saving hungry children? Do they even exist?
You are a great catch, yet men either don’t stick around or simply can’t keep up with you. Most can’t get enough of you at first, but that quickly wears out and they disappear without a trace.
One day they’re crazy about you, the next they’re ignoring your messages.
You got used to rejection, but it still stings. It’s hard not to take it personally. Maybe you need to tone it down, hide your qualities and accomplishments, talk less?
What if men don’t want to date a woman who has it all sorted out? Are they just looking for damsels in distress? No matter how confident you are, doubt creeps in. What if there is something wrong with you? What if nobody will love you just the way you are? Continue reading
By Peter Sacco
It is that time of the year again, the season of nostalgia, romance and longing to be with a ‘special someone’. Actually, when you think about it, when isn’t it that time for many? Okay, I am being a little facetious with the latter remark, but in all actuality, people, yes both men and women begin to yearn to have someone ‘special’ in their lives once the Holiday season rolls around, and if that isn’t enough, the new year brings even more hope, as you know what is right around the corner shortly thereafter… I will type it in a whisper, Valentine’s Day.
Society, which I use as a generic, trite term seems so hell-bent on people needing to be in relationships all of their adult lives in order to be ‘happy’. When you get into the whole notion of relationships and happiness, oh boy–that folks is a whole other can of worms, or book (complete with drama, melodrama and anti-climatic moments)! Relationships are awesome, and yes, should be the goal of most people.
Starting a relationship, or staying in one should be done for all of the right reasons. Too often, people stay in them for the wrong reasons, namely they do not want to be alone. Interestingly, people who stay in dysfunctional relationships, the bad ones because they do not want to be alone, often feel lonely. Talk about an oxymoron! Continue reading
Oftentimes, there’s a common misconception that introverts are painfully shy, awkward or simply unsocial. However, this is not the case. Many introverts will surprise you with their witty repertoire. It is worth the wait.
Maybe, as an introvert, you don’t feel comfortable around large groups of people, but are the social planner for your small network of friends. Maybe you simply need “me” time to recharge cuddling up with a book, watching Netflix, or coloring that painfully detailed adult coloring book, in lieu of hanging out with others. Or maybe you are one of the shy introverts who prefers to remain to herself.
We are all uniquely ourselves, even if we may have tendencies on one side of the spectrum.