Everything you do is based on the choices you make. It’s not your parents, your past relationships, your job, the economy, the weather, an argument or your age that is to blame. You and only you are responsible for every decision and choice you make. Period.”
This is a powerful comment about owning our lives; we are accountable for our choices. However, the comment he doesn’t make is that our choices are directly influenced by our degree of consciousness – by how aware and present we are to the moments and events in our lives. The more aware we are of our situations and ourselves, the more information we have and the more intentional we can be about making wise choices. Otherwise, we feel like victims and though we have choice, our choices don’t seem very powerful.
We are each the product of every relationship, event and circumstance that we have experienced right up to this very moment. Each of these influences how we think, see, feel and act in context of our world.
We may have had a bad relationship and now we can’t seem to be but a little suspicious and apprehensive of being in another relationship – so we blame our past and let it hold us back from starting again.
Our family may have had money problems when we were younger and we now always feel we never have enough of it, no matter how much we have; we constantly worry about money and are not generous with the things we have.
We have a manager who is cheap with praise and is always critical; we decide we can get back at him by doing just enough not to get fired. We wonder why we are always passed over when it comes to promotions or advancement.
We blame these events or people in our lives. We allow ourselves to play small, to get even with another, hold ourselves back in our careers, and live life in the “just enough” zone. We believe the world to be cold, harsh and unfair. We believe that people are selfish, pushy and not worth our time. We say that others made me feel this way; others make me angry; my life is tougher than others. Though we think the problem is outside of us, it is actually within us because the problem is our perspective and not realizing that it is our choice in how we respond to what the world sends us.
So, how does blaming others for the things that are not working in our lives improve or change things for us? They don’t. The only way to change is to take ownership, realize we choose our responses and be intentional about moving forward. We can be happy or unhappy. We can be grateful or ungrateful. Both are choices. One may be a more difficult choice at times, but they are still both choices.
So as we look at the world and how it plays out in front of us, I find it so empowering to know that I have the choice to decide how it will be for me. I can’t always create the circumstances that I want but I can always remind myself to be conscious enough in each moment to remember that how I respond is up to me.
I can be intentional about choosing things that serve me instead of those that don’t. I can choose to find the value, lesson and wisdom in tough times and choose to learn instead of blame. I can also choose to be completely impressed by the majesty and magnificence of our world instead of see what is lacking. I can choose. And today, I choose and intend to be fully involved in life, accepting what comes my way and choosing to show up as my greatest self, grateful for the opportunity to share this planet with so many others.