When you made the decision to start your own business, you probably got lots of advice on how to be successful, right? Solid advice like: keep an eye on your expenses, create a marketing plan, put yourself out there as much as possible, etc.
But did anyone warn you that the biggest and most likely threat your business faces is not out there in the marketplace, but instead living and breathing inside of you?
Let us introduce you to your Inner Critic or Inner Mean Girl as we like to call it (or Inner Bully for all you guys out there) That negative, self-sabotaging, self-critical voice in your head tells you big fat lies like “You’re not good enough,” “If you try, you’ll probably fail,” or “You’ve got to work harder if you’re ever going to make this business fly.”
Your Inner Mean Girl / Inner Bully is the slave driver, achievement junkie, doing addict, perfectionist and wishful thinker that keeps you working like a dog, doing all the work yourself, and spending money, time, and energy in the wrong places. It’s the voice that makes you feel less happy and successful than ever.
Here’s the truth; you can have the best strategies, the most stellar product, but if you don’t have the right mindset you will fail, and you’ll exhaust yourself in the process! Or maybe you’ll get lucky and reach your goals but be unable to feel successful or enjoy everything you worked so hard for. Your Inner Mean / Bully just loves to rob you of celebrating!
The best way to keep your mindset healthy, and your Inner Mean Girls / Bullies off your back is to know their toxic tricks and have an antidote in your back pocket to use when you find yourself in their grips.
After coaching entrepreneurs from all walks of life for over 17 years combined, we’ve developed processes that put your Inner Mean Girl and Inner Bully in their place.
Here are 3 super powered tools for turning your inner critic into your best business partner!
#1 Toxic Trick. Comparison
You find yourself going crazy, comparing yourself to every one else who is more successful, farther along, or more together than you. Your Comparison Queen / King is using the Inferiority Complex on you!
Antidote: Compliment the person you are comparing yourself to. Dig deep and find the inspiration. Yes, that’s right, reach out and tell that person how inspired you are by who they are and what they are doing. You’ll be amazed at the new connections you’ll create!
#2 Toxic Trick. Future Tripping
You achievement junkie is filling your head with lies like “When I hit that goal, then I’ll be happy!” or “When I hit 6 figures (or 7 figures or more!), I can finally relax.” Your Inner Mean Girl/Inner Bully has you running so fast to the future that you’re too exhausted to enjoy today.
Antidote: Get grateful for what you do have and get happy in the present. When you find your mind future tripping, stop, drop and do 10 gratitude statements. Write or say aloud what you appreciate about today. Notice how you can enjoy the moment!
#3 Toxic Trick. Unrealistic Expectations
You’ve just started your day and you already have a To-Do List a mile long that you are counting on getting done today. Deep down you know it’s humanly impossible to accomplish them all. But your doing addict has got you convinced that you can get through the list. So you work like an energizer bunny gone mad all day, and come 8pm you’ve not accomplished half of what you set out to. You set yourself up to fail, and now you beat yourself up with the “I’m a loser” lie.
Antidote: Take a pause and get real. When you feel yourself moving into overdrive to get it all done, pause, take a deep breath and decide on the 3 things that are most important for you to complete today. In your mind, move the rest to another day. Get real and honest with how much is reasonable for you to do today. With only those 3 things on your mind, you’re guaranteed to set yourself up for success, and find time to have a personal life too!
Here’s the truth – you have a one-of-a-kind gift to give the world through your great work. And if you don’t take care of yourself, if you try to do it all alone, and if you don’t enjoy the process along the way, you will never be able to reach your full potential.
We invite you to try these antidotes PLUS get started on transforming your own Inner Mean Girl.
Originally published September 2011