Tag Archives: Self

Words of Wisdom: The Work of Loving Yourself

“Love yourself” is simple to say and sometimes the most difficult thing to do.
It means asking ourselves what love is.
It means asking ourselves what we believe our value to be.
It can mean dismantling a lifetime of false or negative beliefs.

Scientists have taught us for hundreds of years about inertia and a physical object’s “resistance of any physical object to any change in its state of motion”. People are not always unlike that in an emotional or mental sense. Changing direction can be a struggle even when we detect that we’re headed down a road we’ve stopped wanting. It will take force. It will take focus. It will take intent to change, to push yourself to be the best you, to keep pushing when you get tired.

Today we are happy to help with the pushing. We are sharing words of wisdom from brilliant minds who believe that loving yourself is worth the work: Continue reading

Loving You? Questions to Ask Yourself When You’re Unsure

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February 14th is a day we hold synonymous with love and romance. We plan dates, write love letters, and celebrate our other half, but when was the last time you checked in with yourself? Would you even know if you were not treating yourself well?

When it comes to checking in on your own love and well being, here are some honest questions to ask yourself to hone in on whether or not you are giving yourself the time and attention needed: Continue reading

Default Settings: Words of Wisdom from David Foster Wallace

Author David Foster Wallace spoke at the 2005 graduation ceremony for Kenyon College. His message was directed at students who were about to venture into the world as independent, functional humans but his message on thinking is important for everyone to hear even ten years later. In our current global state, perhaps it’s time to relearn how to think.

“Everything in my own immediate experience supports my deep belief that I am the absolute center of the universe. The realest, most vivid and important person in existence.

We rarely talk about this sort of natural basic self-centeredness because it’s so socially repulsive but it’s pretty much the same for all of us. It is our default setting, hard-wired into our boards at birth. Think about it: there is no experience you have had that you were not at the absolute center of.

The world as you experience it is there in front of YOU. Or behind YOU.
To the left or right of YOU on YOUR tv or YOUR monitor and so on.
Other people’s thoughts and feelings have to be communicated to you somehow but your own are so immediate, urgent, real. Continue reading

From Intent.com: The Kind to Self Challenge

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Let’s take a two minute pause to stop and consider kindness.
If you Google “kindness” , you’ll get responses like

“the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate.”

If you Google “friendly“, you’ll get all sorts of synonyms like communicative, approachable, easygoing, unreserved, benevolent. While those are words we can understand in relation to other people, they are not always things we think to extend to ourselves. Are we being a friend to ourselves before we try to be a friend to someone else? Are we showing kindness to ourselves in the same way we know other’s hope to receive?

So here’s your Kind-To-Self challenge for today: Continue reading

Evaluating Intention From the Inside, Out

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Normally when we discuss intention, it’s about our internal directive and how we want to achieve something. Whether that is being more loving, maintaining balance in our lives, or practicing patience; it’s very easy to understand our own objectives. But what about when it comes to others?

For instance, what about the driver who cuts you off in traffic? Do you believe they’re being aggressive? Or the person who repeatedly kicks the back of your seat in a movie theater or airplane? Are they being deliberately annoying?

How we interpret another’s intention actually reveals more about ourselves than them. The stories we fabricate of what we’re observing, can be subtle but rampant. Yet this is the cognitive energy we lug around when we unconsciously follow these unexplored guesses that usually result in lashing, negative and superficial judgments. Continue reading

Choose Love Over Fear: 5 Myths About FEAR

By Michael Bianco-Splann

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Fear has prevented me from living true to myself and from taking prudent risks. But fear is a broad catchall for other negative emotions.  Fear is based on future outcomes that, in most cases, do not occur. We tend to separate emotions of anger, hate, jealousy, betrayal, resentment, sadness, hurt, and discontent from fear. Yet, all are tentacles of the same root cause: fear.

This pattern has pulled me away from honest self-expression, meaningful exchanges of love and compassion while also limiting my leadership ability and catalyzing a life governed more by the incessant false ego than the universal gift of love in all its magnificent possibilities. The outcome is living well below my full capacity as a friend, partner, professional, father, husband, lover, and contributing member of my community.

I recall my shyness as a young boy, feeling insecure that I would be left behind. It was not until well into my adulthood that I understood that this fear was attached to my being given up for adoption. The fear manifested in my creating a life of falsehood.  Creating a safe haven where the real Michael was hidden became a primary objective, for to open that door would show me as unlovable and someone to be cast aside.  After failed marriages, less than desirable professional outcomes and lethal addiction, I realized the fallacy of my life’s journey. The change came as a result of slowly tearing away the fearful foundation upon which I had constructed my reality. Continue reading

The Four Things Your Subconscious Ceiling May Say About You

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By Tamara Dorris

If you want to know what self sabotage is, think Lindsay Lohan…John Belushi…Chris Brown. I actually would run out of space if I listed all the well-known celebrities, athletes, and entertainers who had the world by the…um…you know, and then threw it all away with what seemed to the rest of the world—reckless abandonment. So what’s up with that?

The truth is we all have what can be referred to as a subconscious success ceiling. This success ceiling tells each of us just how far we can go in the world. Sadly, this ceiling is based on your subconscious programming that may not always be top shelf.

Let say something really amazing happens, yay you! But then you find yourself getting an IRS audit. Or, you meet the perfect mate, but drive him off by inviting him to pick his favorite china patterns on date two. Ah, what about attracting a beautiful business opportunity but then blowing it by a seemingly unrelated event? Continue reading

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