Tag Archives: self care

Caretakers: Reward Yourself

Many of us spend a large percentage of time taking care of others: our children, grandchildren and elderly members of the family.  We also have responsibilities to our partners, our pets and if we work, our bosses. AND if we are in our own business, we are responsible to the entire staff and the clients we serve.  Sometimes as we wade through all our responsibilities we forget to be responsible for ourselves.  In our exhaustion we eat and drink things that are not good for us, and do not find the time to exercise and relax.

As caretakers we must realize that we are just as important as those we care for.  Here are some suggestions for successful care taking:

Resist the temptation to be a hero. 

If you find yourself talking about how you are taking a problem on your shoulders with no ones help, this is a clue that you are not managing the situation well.  And some of us subconsciously like to be the hero so that people will think well of us or feel sorry for us.  Do not play the role of the hero. Talk to members of the family and insist that everyone do their fair share of the work.  And if you are in a situation where there is no family to help you, then inquire within your community to find out what public services may be available to you that you have not known about. Do not let pride keep you from asking for help when you need it.   Divide the work.  Get help. This is the more spiritual approach as you will be taking care of yourself.

Reward Yourself Each Day 

It is amazing how far a little self respect can go.  If you respect yourself, you will find a way to get some pleasure out of each day, even the toughest of days.  Rewards do not always have to be expensive or fattening!  For instance, on your way to take care of a chore that is not particularly pleasant, you might stop someplace for five minutes to gaze at a beautiful site such as a pond, a garden of flowers or a sunset.  Or you might keep a favorite book of poetry in your car, and take three minutes to read one of your favorite poems.  Taking several minutes to refresh yourself can make all the difference.  As you reward yourself, you will be uplifted and ready to take on whatever tasks await you.  If you do not reward yourself, you will be resentful, unhappy and exhausted. 

It is not always easy for us to remember to reward ourselves.  Perhaps when we are making out our lists of what we need to do each day, we can add “reward myself.”

Psychic Medium and Inspirational Author Carole Lynne

www.carolelynne.com

www.carolelynnecosmicconnection.com

Mother’s Day: The best mother of the year award goes to …

Tell the truth. Are you a bit cranked out, disillusioned or just plain tired?  Are you giving, running, doing until you are dry?  If yes, I’d like to encourage you to stop it, right now!    There’s no way you can be the ‘best mother ever’ or even come close to it if you are running on empty!

PUTTING YOURSELF FIRST …

… a revolutionary idea whose time has come!

Do you put everyone and everything before yourself?</strong>  The kids, your partner, significant other, spouse, your job, family members, community obligations, friends, and goodness knows who or what else?

Are you cranked out? Annoyed? Maybe even angry and bitter?  How about drained and exhausted?  Do you feel like you’re juggling so many balls, you may as well join the circus?

And to add insult to injury, your healthy eating plan has gone out the window, hasn’t it?

I could hypothesize as to why we put everyone else’s needs before our own, but it matters not why we do it.  What matters is that we STOP doing it.

When you put everyone before yourself and stop paying attention to your own needs, stop doing the things that you love to do, stop connecting to yourself, you effectively don’t exist.  You’ve lost your identity, and run the risk of playing the victim.

I’m not saying that you should abandon others or neglect others, I’m simply suggesting that you take care of yourself first.

Let go of the guilt of getting your own needs met before others.  Those who neglect themselves often experience deeper levels of unhappiness, low self-esteem and resentment than those who take the time to nurture themselves.

Taking care of yourself, nurturing yourself, nourishing yourself, appreciating yourself, and loving yourself allows you to give to others from a satisfied and happy place (vs. bitter and empty).

PUTTING YOUR SELF FIRST.  If you lose yourself, you gain weight.  Interesting how that works!

Here are some suggestions of things to do that may help you to get reacquainted with yourself.  

Take a bath.
Listen to music.
Read a book.
Sit and stare.
Write in your journal.
Take a walk.
Go to the movies.
Go to a museum.
Sing at the top of your lungs.
Ask for what you want!!! (They are not mind readers.)
Say "No." (In any language.)
Sleep when needed.
Smile.
Laugh.
Take a Leap of Faith.

Make your own list and schedule some time for yourself, TODAY.

I understand that it’s difficult to prioritize something like taking a bath when the sky is falling, but self care is so very important, and you so deserve to take care of yourself.

Taking care of yourself sends a message to others that you and your needs are important, too.   Carve out some time TODAY to do something meaningful and pleasurable. Rejuvenate NOW!

Spread the word … NOT the icing,
Janice

Our Lady of Weight Loss En"LIGHT"ens
@ Omega Institute for Holistic Studies

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From Self Care to Self Destruction to Self Care at last

By now, with all the self help books, classes you have taken, TV shows you have watched, specialists you have seen, information you have gathered, and diets that you have been on, you know what constitutes “self care”: a balanced diet, healthy lifestyle, exercise, adequate sleep, meditating, maintaining a positive attitude and positive emotions, as well as good social networks, etc. 
In fact, when you are on vacation, self-care seems easy—the sun is shining, you have fewer responsibilities, you are breathing fresh air and a smile is likely on your face. You want to feel good and continue feeling good. You sleep more, eat healthier, exercise, spend time with friends, perhaps gaze at a sunset or two, maybe meditate or go on retreat. You might feel more positively about your world and are generally happy.
But then life happens—stress builds up. The demands at work increase. You have to juggle these demands with the kid’s needs, the payment of the bills, your husband’s loss of employment, your ailing parents, your car which keeps breaking down, and your constant guilt that you are not giving more to the needy children you keep seeing on the commercials on TV. You start losing sleep, cut out your daily exercise routine, grab food on the run, and when you see that box of donuts in the office kitchen, you think, “I deserve something sweet!” and you eat two. Now of course, you feel guilty.
Before you know it, to add to your stress, you start developing your own health problems—you name it.
How did that happen? How did you go from self-care to self-destruction? Why haven’t you reached out for help?
When stress takes over your life, your stress response will be set off more often than not. When this happens, the body can break down, the mind can lose its ability to be rational and clear, negative emotions take over, leading to the outpouring of negative attitudes and beliefs. 
The more stress accumulates and takes over, the more these negative beliefs, thoughts and emotions come through, the more your body, mind and life can break down and now you are in the Fear Response (see slide).
If at your core, you do not truly love yourself, self-destructive behaviors will take over at this stage. So even if you pride yourself on self care behaviors normally—you have read all the books, taken all the classes, and followed all the diets—you will fall off the wagon. You can’t stop it from happening because it would be like trying to stop a shiver when it is cold outside.
The key is therefore to fix the belief you have of yourself and attitude you have toward yourself. You have to choose to reprogram your unconscious mind to believe that you are lovable and loved. You choose to love yourself.
Here are the tips how: (see slide)
1. When you find yourself reaching for that “comfort food,” calling that ex-boyfriend, pushing yourself to stay up late when your body is exhausted, take a second to ask yourself a question that begins with: “If I loved myself would I…”
If I loved myself, would I choose to bathe my internal organs with diet soda instead of water?
Also a “no duh” but most people do not consider that they are washing their internal organs with diet soda when they drink it.
So ask yourself, “If I really loved myself, would I put this unhealthy substance in my body?
This question can be used is so many difference scenarios:
If I loved myself, would I date this person? Would I not give my body the rest it needs? Would I push my mind and body so hard that I start getting sick? Would I sit for hours in front of a computer or television without giving my body and mind the exercise it needs and craves? Would I not surround myself with people that adore me and support me? Would I get mad at myself anytime I do something wrong (i.e. “I am so stupid! I can’t believe I did that”/
If I loved myself, would I not speak and treat myself the way I would my best friend?
2. Honor your feelings: Pay attention to how situations, people, foods, actions, or behaviors make YOU feel—You are the star of the show. YOU matter. How is something or someone making you feel? Good or bad?
This is a VERY important step, because you are acknowledging and honoring you!
Then you can choose what you can do for you.

Where is your head? In the moment or where you think you need to be?

 

Are you enjoying the moment being and giving full attention or are you thinking about all that you have to do or where you have to go?

Do you rush around trying to get it all done, doing everything you think you should be doing and wonder at the end of the day – why? Does your schedule include any time for you to replenish your energy?

Does taking an afternoon off to pamper yourself seem completely out of the question and overindulgent?

Listen to this4 minute interview sharing tips and ideas on the topic of Work/Life Balance

 
~ Wishing you peace, purpose and harmony.

Embrace your life!

Kelly McIntyre M.Sc.
Life/Career Coach

Take a break – you will be better for it!

Well, I knew it was time to take a break when I noticed my first grey hair. And after I counted one, I noticed a second and eventually counted 6! My parents were late to grey so I easily deduced that stress was likely a factor in the mini-crisis that I had in front of the mirror last week 🙂

Immediately, I booked a mini retreat for four days to Samana on the north east coast of Dominican Republic (my new home). The resort was beyond gorgeous! These are some real pics..

With the upcoming Get Away & Get a Plan retreat and other special projects that I am working on, I decided to go away and practice what I preach (but still with the idea that I would check email and work a little if necessary.)

So, as I am standing in reception being told that the internet has and will be out of service indefinitely, I felt a little let’s say, uneasy.

For the first day, I would wander to the reception and casually ask if service had been restored and each time I received the same answer, "No, sorry Senorita". Then it became obvious that everything was aligned for me to have 4 days to rebuild, rejuvenate, sleep soundly and breathe in the beautiful scenery.

So I did! I am back and feel fantastic! I am full of ideas and energy to share with my clients and readers. It was a good reminder to not let the pressure build and to practice self-care every day. And do you know what? The world didn’t fall apart! 🙂

Contact me anytime to share your stories and take advantage of a complimentary 30 minute coaching session!

Best to you today!
Kelly McIntyre M.Sc.
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