Tag Archives: Sharing

5 Tips to Deepen Intimacy in Your Relationships

innersexyDeep connections, quality relationships – the experience of feeling seen, heard and understood brings us the greatest joy in life. Here are 5 tips to deepen intimacy in any relationship – a friendship, family or love relationship.

1. Ask for Help (sooner than you want)

Our attachments and intimacy with others are bred through our vulnerabilities.

The meeting of our vulnerabilities is the sweet spot. This is where we have the ability to truly see one another. The experience of being seen and seeing is called mirroring. Psychologically, it is the bridge of intimacy and forges a strong bond (attachment) – knowing someone else will accept and be there for you, even (especially) in your weakest moments.

Take a risk of to be vulnerable and open yourself up to share from the heart. What is happening under the surface of your life and the veneer of your persona? Tell your partner if you’re sad, afraid, hurt or emotional. Practice staying authentic and articulate about your emotional state and ask for understanding, tenderness or help.

2. Let Your Partner Take the Lead

In relationships we tend focus on ourselves and assume that our needs are more important than our partners.

Flip it. Just for this month, practice allowing your partner’s needs to take priority. What if their needs are just as (or more) important than your own?

Self-abandonment is not what I am suggesting. Assuming you have healthy boundaries, attune to what your partner wants or needs. Ask them. Let your partner take the lead. Where do they want to go to dinner? Where do they want to go on vacation? What do they want to do this weekend?

This is a Buddhist/yogic concept of expanding the definition of who you are to include the ‘other’. Widening our perception of Self to include another breeds understanding and union. Instead of using a relationship or looking at our partners as a means to meet our needs – we elevate into a selfless, giving, generous approach. Much like building a successful business or any join venture, ask:

  • “How can I help you?” 
  • “How can I give more?” 
  • “What do you need and how can I serve?”

3. Set a Daily Check in with Your Partner

Set aside 10-20 min. a day to tune in to each other in full presence (no cell phones or TV, please). A great time to do this is at night. Take 10 minutes each to reflect on the day. Listen athletically to each other and offer support or feedback. When you can manage, try to go to bed at the same time, cuddle and reflect out loud – What went well? What was disappointing or frustrating? What do you intend to create for the next day?

Practice gratitude together. Get in the habit of reflecting the positive and holding each other in positive regard so you mirror back to your partner their positive attributes. Encouragement and support changes our biochemistry. Consistency in authentic connection is the glue that keeps a relationship together. Commit to a daily check in.

4. Show Up with Fresh Eyes

See your partner anew. We evolve and change constantly. Our hopes, dreams and skills shift. When we’re in relationship, it’s tempting to view our partner through an old, outdated perspective – who they were, how they acted or what they wanted before. Give your man (or woman) the space, just like a child, to shape shift, change, learn and grow. Tune into them – ask them “Where are you at today?”  “What are you feeling/wanting/dreaming of?”

Try silently observing and allowing them to show you who they are. Open your eyes and your mind. This creates more spaciousness to feel held and supported in who we are authentically – today. Let yourself be surprised. Seek to learn something NEW about your partner everyday.

5. Breed Affection

Bring more affection into your relationship. After years of listening to couples in therapy, I can tell you – it’s often (if not, usually) the smallest things that end up fracturing and eroding a relationship. Know the little things that your partner needs, wants or delights in.

  • How can you show random acts of kindness?
  • How can you be more affectionate?
  • How can you sweetly surprise them and bring a smile to their face?

Gentle touches, thinking what they might want from the grocery store or reaching out sending them a text or a note at work in support go a long way in building a foundation and reservoir of love.

Leave a comment and share – how do you deepen intimacy in relationships with those around you?

The One Superpower You Can Activate Anytime, Anywhere

Some superheroes wear capes and masks, crested unitards, and holsters filled with magical tools. But there’s another kind of superhero. The kind that wears smocked dresses with patent leather Mary Janes, grass stained jeans, and Red Sox caps.

My kids are the latter kind. At least I’ve always told them so. When they were tiny I’d tell them that they were born with a superpower: the power to make people feel good by showing kindness and forgiveness, the power to end sadness by sharing their toys and offering a helping hand. If they ever doubted the strength of their powers, I’d say, “Go on and test it out. See that little boy crying by the monkey bars? Ask him if he’s okay. Use your superpowers to see if you can make him feel better.” And they would. And they’d be convinced. “See? That’s the power of compassion!”

One day ages ago I was at a splash park with my daughter and her friend. The girls were whispering and pointing at a woman across the water wearing a beige burqa, black gloves, and purple Merrells. Her face was veiled, just her eyes were visible. Those eyes were focused intently on her baby girl splashing playfully and wildly in the same pool as my crew.

“I’m afraid of her. She’s a stranger,” said my daughter’s wide-eyed friend, laying eyes on a fully covered Muslim woman for the first time.

“No, no, she’s not scary. Let’s go say hi to her and she won’t be a stranger anymore.” The girls looked at me like I was totally insane. They resisted and skidded as I grabbed their rigid slippery hands and sloshed across the puddles. As we approached, the Muslim woman was chatting on her cell phone.

I waved at her and wrinkled my eyebrows apologetically, “Would you mind if I interrupted your phone call to ask a question?”

She looked a little surprised but smiled at me with her eyes and hung up her phone, “Oh yes, is everything okay?”

“My daughter and her friend were feeling a little afraid of you because of your burqa, and I wanted them to meet you.”

“Come! Come!” she beckoned with one gloved hand. She pulled the veil away from her nose and leaned into the girls. They peeked down her dress (as did I) and admired her gorgeous face. “I only wear this when I’m outside. But when I’m at home I wear anything I want. I wear my hair long, I wear make up. My favorite color is pink. What’s yours?”

“Purple and turquoise and orange and yellow. And pink,” said one girl.

“Rainbow and pink,” said the other.

“Come and talk to me anytime. Don’t be afraid. I’m a mom just like your mom.”

The girls asked a few intrusive questions, as kids do, and I thanked her as we splashed away, figuring out which superpowers we’d just activated.

“The power of friendliness!” my daughter shouted, bounding over a shooting stream of cold water.

“The power of fearlessness!” I cheered.

“The power of pink!” laughed her friend.

Then we extended our list of superhero garb to include bathing suits, aqua socks, and burqas.

Experiencing the likeness I share with all things.

Like a galaxy, I am energy expressed as form.  We are one.

Like a blade of grass, I will die, return to the earth and live again.  We are one.

Like a migrating bird, I long to travel the earth from on high.  We are one.

Like all people,  I sing my song of Life.  We are one.

Like spirit – We are all one.

Separateness is a popular delusion.

I choose to experience myself in your shadow and light, song and dance, laughter and tears.

Soon, all will be as one, intending once again –  to experience uniqueness.

 

 

 

Celebrate Your Life

 This past weekend, I unplugged and recharged by attending the "Celebrate Your Life" conference sponsored by Mishka Productions. I have been in the past, and loved it before.

I chose to go because Wayne Dyer was a keynote speaker, and Gregg Braden was going to be there. I was very interested in hearing both of these men speak. And they were both fabulous! I was also looking forward to seeing Sonia Choquette again, as I had just read her newest book, The Answer is Simple, Live your Spirit, Love Yourself. She was more spirited than ever! Her workshop was a blast! And I also got to see Alan Cohen and Neal Donald Walsch, both of whom I have been reading/following for almost 15 years now. So, all good.

And as usual when I go to these things, I got some unexpected surprises. For one, two of the members of one of my networking groups were there, and it was great to keep running into them between events. We weren’t in any of the same events, so we will have many notes to compare. On Sunday night, four people who often come to EarthLove’s rituals (two young teenage girls who bring their mothers) were there for the James van Praagh keynote, and James happened to contact the late husband and father of one of the pairs. It was so amazing to watch the array of feelings they went through as James indeed confirmed that he was actually in contact with their loved one. What a gift to be able to bring that level of comfort to people.

Another surprise I got was discovering the LifeLine Technique of Dr. Darren Weissman. I didn’t expect to be shifted as I sat in the audience watching him work, but I was. So I got a treatment, which I didn’t expect to be nearly as effective as it was. I am considering becoming a practitioner of this work. It would work in conjunction with my coaching, or as a standalone treatment. I was most impressed by how it works so succinctly with a person’s subconscious – really getting to the root of whatever issue is being addressed. I got in touch with some nasty stuff from when I was 13 years old that I had forgotten. Seems that even some of my health challenges had its root in some of the stuff that happened back then. Who knew? More on this as things develop, for sure.  

The message for the weekend was live your authentic self, and share your wisdom with others. A wonderful message, to be sure, and one I aspire to constantly. 

 

Power Prayer For Living Our Dharma with Reverend Jennifer Hadley ~

 

Beloved Friends,

Click here to listen to the Daily Power Prayer and turbo charge your spiritual practice, aligning you with your Divine Purpose so that you clearly live and demonstrate a Masterful Life of Love!

Power Prayer for Today

Blessings of Love & Peace Always,

Jennifer

Events

Follow this Link for All Event Details

Monday Call – A Course In Miracles

Please join me Monday for our weekly conversation on practical application of forgiveness and spiritual practice inspired by Disappearance of the Universe & A Course In Miracles

Whether you’ve studied these books or not, all are welcome to join and share, put forth questions, and dialogue or simply listen. All calls are offered on a love offering basis…

5:30pm (Pacific) 7:30pm (Central) 8:30pm (Eastern)

You can go to my website for more info and listen to recordings or sign up for podcast

Conference Dial-in Number:

(269) 320-8200

Code: 959679#

The only charge is the cost of the toll call

PLEASE NOTE: If you do not want to be heard on the call (including all of your background noise) you will need to mute, please locate the mute button on your phone (or press *6 to mute). Cell phones often generate a lot of static and so it’s best to mute yourself out except when you are sharing. Many times you cannot locate the mute button on a cell phone until the call is in progress. Your carrier will be able to tell you where the mute button is on your make and model of cell phone… Thank you for being courteous!

Join Me In Prayer Every Day

The only charge is the cost of the toll call

Call: (616) 712-1861

Every day I intuitively tune into those who will call that day and record a prayer for everyone…More info about prayer at my website

 

Join Jennifer Hadley’s Profile at:

Jennifer Hadley's Facebook Profile

Sharing

 "Whenever I found out anything remarkable, I have thought it my duty to put down my discovery on paper, so that all ingenious people might be informed thereof." – Antonie van Leeuwenhoek

"Our best thoughts come from others." – Ralph Waldo Emerson

42-17248303

"Shared joy is a double joy; Shared sorrow is half a sorrow." – Swedish proverb

Sharing truly does make the world go ’round. The relationships we build on a daily basis with people, places and things create a need for us to socialise and to converse with others, and discuss what has happened to us.

This is true of all aspects of life, whether the sharing comes in the form of advice given as a response to personal experience, or whether the sharing comes as a recommendation as the most basic form of marketing.

What is key, however, is not that you use the concept of sharing as a way to gain information, money, or experience, but as a way of giving information, money, or experience.

You can approach sharing from both a physical and a spiritual perspective. When somebody offers me advice and they genuinely believe that the advice will benefit me, I am most grateful and will thank the person. Many people don’t like to be given advice, or to be given information that they feel they should know already. However, from a spiritual perspective everything you are given should be given to others so that you can keep the information moving in the Universe. 

For example, I had dedicated myself to a strenuous and eventually addictive and boring task of learning new things, and recently I gave this practice up for a whole month. Now, learning new things is good and learning is an important principle in success, however I forgot to learn, and then to share!

The information that I have was becoming stagnant, I was being overloaded by information that I didn’t particularly want to know, but thought that I should know it just for the sake of it!

So now, I have dedicated myself to something new, and it is called "Sharing". It’s fairly simple really, and there is one rule that you must follow: Talk to people.

I know that this seems alien being 2009 an’ all and most of us spend more time in front of the computer than we do with people face-to-face, but try to get out in the world, begin conversations, and if the right time arises for you to share your knowledge with someone then don’t hold back, and believe that the information will help someone.

I am sure that in your field of expertise you know more than 99.9% of people out there. I know absolutely nothing about car engines or DIY, so if someone gets chatting to me and has any knowledge on this subject then they’ve got me beat! But equally, I specialise in developing systems to improve a person’s lifestyle through managing their wealth and their health, so I know more than most on this.

Why am I telling you this today? Because it’s important to keep information moving. And when you give more information away, then you not only create relationships, but you help others, and in turn help yourself too by giving a good service to another person.

This is why on all of my websites you’ll find these Te!!-A-Friend Buttons that you can use to send my posts on to other people through your various social networks. Try them out and if  you find the information on this page helpful then click, and help another out!

SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

So, what have I been doing lately and I want to share? Since cutting down on the information that I take in, and sharing it out my productivity has gone through the roof and I feel healthier for it too! I don’t feel constantly stressed that my To Do List is piling up and I am working smarter and not necessarily harder. My latest venture has a simple, new information site that might intrigue you. Check it out here.

Let me know what you think, and remember to keep sharing!

This post was originally published on Wealth, Health and Time – http://www.wealthhealthandtime.com.

How a Two-Minute Story Helps You Lead

 Leaders gain trust and teach people what’s important to them by telling stories. But these days there’s so much to attend to — now! — coming at us so fast. You might be tempted to let slide your soft skills, like how to tell a useful story. Just get to the point and move on to the next thing on the list. No time for fluff.

Even President Obama, who masterfully demonstrated his storytelling skills in the campaign, was recently described as shuffling from one crucial issue to the next, like an iPod listener flits from song to song. No time for albums. Trying to do too much, too fast, and on too many fronts can be risky, yet today’s environment requires that we get better at doing so.

All the more reason, then, for giving attention to how you get others to pay attention. The trick is to show movement on the issues that matter while, for each issue, helping your key stakeholders grasp the meaning of what you’re aiming to achieve — why the goal matters to the team or the organization and how we’re going to get from here to there.

So don’t give up on honing your storytelling skills; instead, learn how to move faster among your different narratives. Through practice and feedback, improve your ability to connect through stories — while keeping them short to hold beleaguered attention spans. For even as the digital age compels us to develop ever-increasing capacities for a switch-your-focus-but-remain-present state of mind, as a leader you still have to be able to convey a narrative that resonates with your people and inspires them to move with you in the right direction.

A good leadership story has the power to engage hearts and minds. It has these six crucial elements:

  1. Draws on your real past and lessons you’ve learned from it.
  2. Resonates emotionally with your audience because it’s relevant to them.
  3. Inspires your audience because it’s fueled by your passion.
  4. Shows the struggle between your goal and the obstacles you faced in pursuing it.
  5. Illustrates with a vivid example.
  6. Teaches an important lesson.

Leaders at all levels and in all walks of life can improve their skill in telling a good, fast leadership story. Here’s how: think of a story that meets these six criteria and convey it to someone — anyone who you’d like to teach — in less than two minutes. Then ask them what impact the hearing of your tale had on them. Where they moved? Did they learn what you wanted to convey? Next, repeat with someone else — but do it faster. Then again, faster still.

Let us know what you discover.

 

Asking for Help- the Other Side of Volunteering

I heard a wise phrase the other day: "in every moment, you are either serving or being served." The give and take, or giving and receiving, is a constant balance of life. How often to you serve others, and how often do you allow others to serve you? Is it easier for you to give than to receive?

In my last blog, I asked the question of  "Why Don’t We Volunteer?" And issued a Dare to Care as a means to challenge all of us to get out of our routine, and lend a hand to help support President Obama’s <a href="www.serve.gov">United We Serve </a>campaign. Today, I’d like to explore the topic of volunteering from a larger perspective. The other side of volunteering is asking for help. Today, more and more Americans need help – in big ways and small, and asking…… well, is not so easy.

I stumbled across a fantastic example of this blend of giving and receiving, in William Brandon Shanley’s grassroots company: <a href="www.getgiveshare.net">Give, Get, Share</a>. His slogan is a mathematical equation: +Give -Get = Share. His site claims, "We’re a gifts and wishes pool. We match resources with needs. We organize goods, services, people power, brainpower, and the indomitable human spirit and make them available to everyone for free. As a public service. To help people. To enhance life. To save the Earth."

This site is undergoing a retooling to make it even more user friendly. Shanley said, "Give Get Share is about values fulfillment of knowledge, inspiration, professional services or the arts. You can be a millionaire in Miami and be lonely, and ashamed of your loneliness. But to a family of five, who are needing a grandparent, it is a gift."

Currently, there are more Americans living alone than any time in history. According to the General Social Survey from Duke University, 25% of Americans have had no one to discuss important life matters with in the last six months. The idea of success being tied to self reliance is strong, and asking for help is a sign of weakness – at what cost to us all?

President Obama has declared there are "too many jobs lost," with unemployment rates climbing ever higher. When the statistic becomes a reality, the emotions of frustration, anger, shame, depression and fear preclude the ability to access resources needed to maneuver through the tidal waves. "There’s nothing anyone can do," is the easy answer. Yet, maybe someone can lend a hand, pitch in, make you laugh, and ease the burden just a tiny bit – if you just ask. I belive the beauty of Intent.com is offering a medium for others to ask for help- simply by crafting an intention, and knowing other’s energy can help to make it happen!

Greg Cortopassi, founder of <a href="www.launchyourdreams.com">Launch Your Dreams</a>, is a career and life coach, who offers the idea of service as a ‘life skill’ that has to be exercised like a muscle; and the act of contributing and receiving is something we are always doing. The better we become at serving, and allowing ourselves to be served, the greater our capacity for joy in life.

"Many people view the idea of service or contribution as something that comes from a feeling of guilt or obligation to their work, families or communities. Most people perceive that they are just not the "volunteer types," don’t get involved unless they have to, and then the act of serving is half-hearted," he explained. "If we hold a perspective that anyone on our path is an opportunity to serve, then it doesn’t become conditional or loaded. On the flip side, if we can’t receive when someone or something is trying to serve us, it also blocks the flow."

There is a balance in serving and being served. Some of us are better at one than another. Here’s a simple example. If someone pays you a compliment, how often are you tempted to either discount it, or quickly offer another one back as a hot potato toss? Come on, admit it. One of those, ‘You look great today,’ followed by an instant: ‘thanks, so do you!’ Someone was making an attempt to serve, in a simple and lovely way. Why is it so hard to simply say, "Thank you," and receive?

The fear of opening our hearts to others, being vulnerable, being ‘seen’ is one of the culprits to the rising feelings of loneliness, isolation and disconnection in the United States. Despite the assurances the recession is slowing down – or not – many folks on Main Street have not seen the tidal waters receding, and the riptides are moving the shoreline farther and farther out of reach. When people are flailing to stay above water, asking for help is not always on the top of their minds. People are losing their homes, downsizing, coping with job loss, holding off on college and giving up stress relieving vacations.

It is time to move aside the fabricated curtain of "everything’s fine" syndrome. The other side of volunteering is allowing someone to help you, to keep you company, to care about you. Over the weekend, we celebrated our nation’s birthday. Every American is a star on the flag. Every stripe binds and connects us together. Our nation became the mighty power it is by individuals taking turns serving one another, and being served in turn.

As we blow out the candles on our nation’s birthday cake, consider: How do you serve your country each day? Do you respect and care for the environment that surrounds us? Do you participate in civic duties? Do you support local businesses and buy American made products? It feels good to serve, so find a way to do so that seems right to you, and be conscious of your action.

How do you serve your fellow Americans? Do you know someone who is coping with cancer, lost a job, or is down and out, who could use a hug, a kind word or a referral for a job lead? Serving them in turn serves our country, and helps you forget about your own troubles for awhile.

How does our country serve you each day? Do you enjoy full access to topics from Iran to Michael Jackson without fear of retribution? Do you enjoy the free speech and citizen journalism of places like the Huff Po? Do you walk the streets freely, without seeing machine gun clad military patrols? How about walking into a grocery story with 200 different kinds of cereal to choose from?  Take a moment to reflect, and just to receive. To say, "thank you" for all the goods and services that are so readily available in this nation of bounty.

How have your fellow American’s served you? Have you been touched by someone or something that took you by surprise? Have you felt truly supported by your co-workers, neighbors or friends when you really needed help? Take a moment to gather in your mind the faces of the ones you love. Inwardly thank them for serving you, even if you forgot to acknowledge their actions. Every hand counts, as we come together this Independence Day holiday, and a chain is much stronger than a single link.

To a Man Who Loves

 

 

To the man that would pop me up in a tree when I was little and take pictures of me.

To the same man that has inspected ALL of my apartments and houses over the years; examining the quality and potential, always making the point of showing me the fire escapes.

To the man who has stayed up at night worrying about my safety because I didn’t always listen.
 
 
To the man that knows 101 different ways to cook chicken; always getting excited about the unique flavouring each time.

To the man that has now retired and to celebrate invested in a sun hat, sporting it regularly and quite fittingly.
To the man that once “became” a tree so that a bird would land on him and didn’t budge when we were all cracking up in the window.

To the man that loves nature and our dog Chloe; together we follow him, as he leads us on tours of his colourful property.

To a man that cares about his friends and family and feels their joy and sorrow and will always lend a helping hand or ear.

My Dad is many things to many people (and birds). To me, he is a man who loves and has been a regular source of inspiration, support and remains a very big influence in my life today.
 
 
Happy Father’s Day!

 

SHARING SOME SHAMAN’S SECRETS REGARDING HELPING PEOPLE (For new members)

Some important insights of how I work doing my best to help people.
 
My dearest new friends.
 
        I wish to share with you some simple techniques regarding how I’ve used my gifts to help people in very effective ways ranging from health isssues, fears, phobias, negativity and  depresive moods
 
          I have used the moon phases for over fifty years having found amazing discoveries, such findings are now being supported by recent science.
      Also by using the day of the week when people were born.To all this I must add  that  knowing the exact birtdate and place of birth of a person in real need has helped me a lot to solve his/her problems.
        In this way to me is rewarding to invoke all this information to reach the person’s inner self succssesfuly.
 
           I started studying the moon phases fifty-two years ago discovering that from the new moon to the full moon is when all our chakras begin their strong activity, so by sending a person healthy vibrations on these days is quite effective. and from a full moon to a new moon is excellent to deal with physical improvement. It is during this moon when our body regenerates  easier and faster.
 
 
    Being material doesn’t mean it’s a bad moon, it means we can improve our physical well being easily, in martial arts is when you train very, very hard to get stamina, reliable reflexes, and endurance.
    If you enjoy doing exercise whatever its type  it’s the best moment to improve your harmonious movements.
   Now if what you desire is an effective self-improvement using audio or video tapes you can achieve wonderful results if you listen and watch these good helpers just thtee days and a half any moon phase.
 
          In other words my friends, according to my discoveries you only need to very specific days to listen to the tape so all the information must be absorb easily and permanently in your subconscious mind. For you my friends, brothers and sisters I gladly share this vital piece of information.
 
     Another amazing discovery I made is that of using your day number one as the day of the week that you were born in,  for example in  case  you were born on a Monday.Every monday will be your "sunday" will become your solar day. I have designed with different activities the rest of the last remaining days. For example day number two relates with any kind of movement. Our day number  three is physical and when we have to deal with intricate machinery and the sea; day four is mental, also dealing with liquids it is an excellent day; day five is spiritual, it has to do with our karma, so it is excellent to mediate about our missions in life our advancement on our spiritual path about self-sacrifices; day sixth is for enjoying and relaxing preferably with our love ones;  and the seventh day is your frustration day, on this day even if you’re right about something, you will surely  find some resistance of people accepting your logical and loving points of view.lose if you have a spouse you should never argue with him, her.
    So day number one is the luckiest day of the week regarding with our Divinity, to comune with Nature and the Universe, mainly with the God of our hearts and ubderstanding.It is when we recharge our spiritual batteries in the Cosmic. It is the day we must dedicate to our always wise and powerful SOUL-PERSONALITY.
 
 
 
There’s much more I must share with you. I feel I have to give all my accumulated knowledge before I pass away. Thank for your precious time brothers ansd sisters.
Best regards and with tons of divine love to you and your family.
 
   Amorifer-alden
 
Amorifer-alden

 

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