Tag Archives: son

The Beauty of Silence, Meditation and Donuts

IMG_3402There’s nothing like a donut to bring two people together.

I brought my truck in for a long overdue oil change yesterday.  My five year-old son came with me and we decided the one hour wait would be a perfect opportunity to visit the donut shop next door.  We hustled in from the cold and ordered up a couple of hot chocolates and sweet treats.

I invited my little man to choose our table and he pointed toward a two-top in the far corner.  The space felt noticeably peaceful.  Nearby three old men sat reading the paper, enjoying a warm ray of sunlight shining through floor-to-ceiling windows.  We smiled at them as we passed and I followed my son to the corner, listening to the quick, rhythmic shoosh-shoosh-shoosh of his snow pants he walked through the quiet shop.

We sat down and got cozy, shaking off our jackets and releasing shocks of staticy hair from under our hats, then reached for our goodies.  I unwrapped my go-to flavor, Boston Cream, and he slowly revealed own his favorite, Strawberry Sprinkled.  He laid the pink donut on a napkin and sipped his cocoa, “Too hot!”  I peeled off the cap and poured in a little more milk.  He tried it again.  “Mmmmm.  ‘S good.”

“What happened in school today, buddy?”

No answer.

“Did you learn anything new?”

Shrug.

He was not interested in conversation.  He pushed his cocoa aside and turned his focus on the awaiting spongey delight.  I decided to stop talking and simply enjoy the sight of my little guy wholly engaging in an exquisite eating meditation.

With deep concentration he examined his snack on the table.  He picked it up and sunk his teeth in.  When a tiny red jimmy toppled onto his napkin, he pinched it between his thumb and forefinger and meticulously nestled it back into the icing.  He chewed and paused and chewed some more.  He lifted the donut high above his head with one hand, clearly in awe of its deliciousness.  He held it up to me as if to say, Look, Mamma, isn’t it beautiful?  But he didn’t utter a word.  He just returned his full awareness to the slow and methodical extinction of one pink donut.  He carefully selected which portion to bite, mindful to save the sweetest bit for last.  He chewed and relished and appreciated the donut so entirely, I could only imagine that for him, in those moments, not one other thing existed in the whole wide world.

The last bite was upon him.  He popped it into his mouth, chewed for a long while, swallowed, then tossed his head back in the chair, staring at the ceiling, seemingly reconciling the experience.

I paused to take in the warm hush of the donut shop.  And I realized that silence is a pretty amazing way to communicate.

I smiled then laughed out loud.  I told him I loved him.

“I love you, too, Mamma,” he finally responded.

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5 Quotes on the Importance of Family

Magazines-24-711. “Ohana means family. Family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.” – Lilo & Stitch (Walt Disney Studios)

Disney has ways of making all of us cry, but one of the universal “Hold on, let me grab the tissue” moments was when Stitch reminded Lio what “ohana” means. No matter what our family looks like or whether they are blood related to us, family sticks together.

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2. “I don’t care about whose DNA has recombined with whose. When everything goes to hell, the people who stand by you without flinching, they are your family” – Jim Butcher (source)

Family isn’t always about blood relations – it’s about being there for each other. Don’t get so caught up in logistics.

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3. “Perhaps they are not stars in the sky, but rather openings where our loved ones shine down to let us know they are happy.” (source)

Our loved ones may not always be around when we need them, but know that they stay with us even when they go.

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4. “Families are like branches on a tree. We grow in different directions yet our roots remain as one.” (source)

We may move on from our homes, but families help us keep our feet firmly planted on the ground.

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5. “Family is not an important thing, it’s everything.” – Michael J. Fox (source)

We can trust a man who got his start in Hollywood on a show called “Family Ties” to know a thing or two about family bonds. Plus Michael J. Fox is just an all-around good guy.

I Refuse to Accept That “Boys Will Be Boys”

Fight!By Vanessa Gobes

Men completely baffle me. No offense, guys. As a gender, you’re real go-getters – strong, handsome, and a very necessary component in procreation. But honestly, between the insatiable need for power (be it in the form of money, attention, strength, or remote control handling) and the twisted inclination towards professional wrestling, porn and realistically bloody video games, I can’t decide if I should run away from you screaming in terror or just move into a lesbian commune and wash my hands of you entirely.

I’ve spent quite a bit of time lately thinking about men. Young men. Well, boys really. I’m rearing one currently. He’s four, the caboose on a train of three older girls. Generally, he’s very sensitive and sweet. He cares about people and animals. He articulates his feelings and is well-behaved. At least I think he’s all of those things…  until he finds a stick on our post-winter lawn and immediately begins whacking the dog with it. Then imagines that stick as weapon and fires it dramatically at his sisters who are chalking quietly in the driveway.

There are more boyish antics, of course. The tasmanian-devil-style thrashing he displays for what seems to be no reason at all. The make-pretend enactments of a werewolf mauling a honey badger in the forbidden forest. The wet sponge ambushes on his sisters at bedtime as they brush their teeth.

I never taught him these things. I’m pretty sure my husband didn’t either. We don’t initiate or encourage this type of play. But he’s a boy. And he seems naturally wired for bursts of destruction.

This is no excuse. Absolutely not. I refuse to lie down and say, “Boys will be boys.” I’m fighting this overused saying, not with my sharp claws or stick weapons, but with kindness, discipline and love.

I’ve also enlisted my daughters to teach our wild little wolf cub how to become a respectable human being since girls seem to enter life with more compassionate tendencies. It’s not a hard lesson, really, this lesson in compassion. But it needs to be taught daily. Daily. Daily. Daily.

This past weekend I had 7 kids here for a sleepover. We watched Indiana Jones. During the blood and guts portions, they watched unfazed. But when Indy started making out with his leading lady, the kids all belted out, “Eeeeewwww!!! Disgusting! Hide your eyes!”

I was appalled, “You little turkeys mean to say you’ll watch happily as bloody monkey brains are served for dinner but Doctor Jones planting a kiss on his girlfriend makes you want to throw up? Come on! Love is beautiful and natural. Hurting people is ‘eeeeewwwww.’ Get your priorities straight, small people!”

Whether or not my words hit home, I’m unsure. My intent, however, is always deeper than a 30 second lecture at a sleepover party, or even a 500 word essay on mothering a typical boy.

Mothers of boys have a precious opportunity to co-create and inspire young boys who become compassionate and mindful men. There are no other more important qualities for a man to possess. When all actions, all intentions, all thoughts are created with mindful compassion, humans will be on our way to world peace. And we mothers are 100% responsible for instilling this quality in our sons.

The end of sex-trafficking? The solution to corporate greed? The dissolution of hate crimes? The pacification of violence? This can all happen through compassion.

We spend so much time trying to fix the problems we have. Counsel the women who have been exploited. Mend the planet that has been ravaged. Heal the people who have been pained. Why not skip the pain and spend that time nurturing boys who value love over destruction?

No four-year-old boy thinks, “When I grow up, I want to pimp out 14 year old girls… Or maybe I’ll be a bigot… Or a banker who invests in companies that rape our planet of resources… Or maybe a dictator who stockpiles nuclear weapons.” I know mine doesn’t anyway. So while they’re young, and while we mommies have control, let’s teach our boys how to love a woman, how to love a planet, how to love their enemies. The world will thank us for it in 30 years or so.

Originally published on Vanessa’s personal blog, Bringing Up Buddhas.

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vanessaheadshot-3Vanessa Gobes is a full time house frau and jane of all trades. She’s currently blogging her way to awakening through a steady diet of kindness, compassion and mindfulness – considering herself not quite Buddhist, but Bu-curious. Her current intent is to work on infusing a daily morning meditation routine into each public school in her town. Vanessa is a community activista, philanthropista and newspaper columnista in Winchester, Massachusetts. Read her stories at www.bringingupbuddhas.com

photo by: Aislinn Ritchie

“Decoding Deepak”: A sneak-peak at the upcoming film

You probably know Deepak Chopra as a physician, a writer, a speaker, or, as he says, “an explorer of consciousness.” You may have read some (or all!) of his more than 65 books, and perhaps you’ve seen him speak at an event on consciousness, science, or spirituality. You may have seen videos of him on The Chopra Well. Remember this line from “Meet the Chopras”? “I am a luminous, stardust being that was manufactured in the dust of the Big Bang.” Classic Deepak.

Well, here is your chance to see another side of Deepak…Deepak Chopra the father, the grandfather, the everyday man living his life. Gotham, Deepak’s son, spent a year traveling around the world with his father in an attempt to unpack the persona that has developed around the man. The resulting documentary, “Decoding Deepak,” is scheduled for release in theaters and on demand October 5.

To give you an idea of what to look forward to, here is an excerpted scene from the film. In the scene, Gotham and Deepak have arrived in Thailand where Deepak is soon to be honored in a traditional Buddhist ceremony for monkhood. Separated from his work, social networks, and chaotic schedule, he grows restless.

Cool, huh? Yes, even Deepak Chopra is plugged in to social networks. And even Deepak Chopra can grow restless without them. This is just a taste of what’s to come.

Subscribe for The Chopra Well so you don’t miss the next excerpted scene from “Decoding Deepak.” And then catch the entire film, starting October 5, in select theaters and on demand.

You Are The Perfect Son Of God

 Tuesday, July 5th

 

“You are a perfect son of God by right of the Christ-principle by which you are created and sustained.  But this potential does not become a conscious influence and practical power until you ‘receive Him,’ or come to believe and act as if you believed that you are the limitless expression of the Infinite Life, Substance and Intelligence of God.” – Discover the Power Within You by Eric Butterfield

Steve Farrell

Humanity’s Team World Wide Coordinating Director

 

Thankful Entry Make up for January 2

The road to motherhood for me was long, but easy and mildly unexpected.

I have always loved babies. I remember being about 4 the first time I was really around a baby. It was a freind of my mom’s and she came over to see my mom with her 6 month old son. I don’t remember thier names but I remember his face, creamy white with big eyes, in a cute little dark blue track suit. I remember his sparkling eyes and the way he smelled.

I always knew I wanted to have kids. The man I thought I would marry BEFORE I actually I met my husband was not of the same mind. It was a deal breaker for us.

I met my husband when I was 27, I was 36 when our oldest son Collin was born. Our youngest son Sam was born 7 months ago. 

On Friday Janaury 2nd 2009 I was off of work home with my two boys while thier father was at work.

I am so grateful for the gift the universe has given me in them.  They are good joyful boys.

Though our oldest has had some developmental issues, hard work, great doctors and tons of prayer and meditation have brought us through. Parenthood has not been challenging (other than need a little more time to get things done)

Parenting has been a blessing- I am certain that my boys have taught me more than I can ever teach them.

Patience, TRUE JOY, TRUE LOVE. I have always been loving and affectionate, my children have made that even more ture.

I an thankful that at the end of anyday i get to hear I love you mommy.

Thankful Entry Make up for January 2

The road to motherhood for me was long, but easy and mildly unexpected.

I have always loved babies. I remember being about 4 the first time I was really around a baby. It was a freind of my mom’s and she came over to see my mom with her 6 month old son. I don’t remember thier names but I remember his face, creamy white with big eyes, in a cute little dark blue track suit. I remember his sparkling eyes and the way he smelled.

I always knew I wanted to have kids. The man I thought I would marry BEFORE I actually I met my husband was not of the same mind. It was a deal breaker for us.

I met my husband when I was 27, I was 36 when our oldest son Collin was born. Our youngest son Sam was born 7 months ago. 

On Friday Janaury 2nd 2009 I was off of work home with my two boys while thier father was at work.

I am so grateful for the gift the universe has given me in them.  They are good joyful boys.

Though our oldest has had some developmental issues, hard work, great doctors and tons of prayer and meditation have brought us through. Parenthood has not been challenging (other than need a little more time to get things done)

Parenting has been a blessing- I am certain that my boys have taught me more than I can ever teach them.

Patience, TRUE JOY, TRUE LOVE. I have always been loving and affectionate, my children have made that even more ture.

I an thankful that at the end of anyday i get to hear I love you mommy.

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