Tag Archives: wedding

Best Marriage Advice for Everyone

wedding

Most people believe that only those people who marry their soul mate have marriages that last.  A myth is that long marriages are the result of two people falling deeply in love and never losing that feeling.  Romance novels and romantic movies both show the same myth – that only those passionately in love have strong marriages.  The truth is far different.

The best advice you will ever hear is that the best marriages are created when two people fall in love and then work hard to stay that way.  Marriage is not easy and both spouses need to work to be happy and in love every day.  You may not believe this, especially if you are new in the relationship and still see stars when you and your special someone kiss.  This is an amazing feeling and one you never want to end.

In reality, the stars will fade if you depend on emotions to fuel the feelings.  You need to make a conscious effort every day to let your spouse know how much you love and respect him/her.  This can be really tough when life gets busy with jobs, children and a house to take care of, but if you don’t want to do all of this alone, you need to make your spouse your first priority. Continue reading

Engaged… Now what?

wedding

by Desiree Hartsock
So your man finally popped the question in the most romantic way ever… Now what!?!

This is a question asked at least once by a newly engaged bride. Whether you have been planning your wedding since you were a little girl or barely thought about it, you are a new seed in this fast-growing pot known as the wedding industry.

It’s hard to know where to begin or what your first step should be. It’s not everyday that you plan a wedding… So, first things first. Continue reading

4 Key Elements to Creating a Nurturing and Joyful Marriage

married

www.pratimanagaraj.com

We all look for a secret recipe for a successful marriage, as if following those steps is going to give us the result we desire. The reality is that there is no such universal recipe for successful marriages. It depends on how you use the ingredients, the quantity and quality of them, the time and effort you invest and your personal touch. Every dish has certain key and basic ingredients and if they are missing, you cannot make it.

In the same way, every marriage should have certain key elements which are extremely vital in order for it to be successful, joyful, nurturing, caring and expansive. This is something I have personally discovered through my five and a half years of being married and creating a joyful, fun, kind and caring relationship with my husband that has contributed to my personal growth and expansion as well as his.

So what are these key elements you wonder? Here is a simplified list. Please be aware that a relationship always begins with you. So these elements can be used to create a loving relationship with you first before you create it with your partner! It is only when you have a nurturing relationship with you personally, you can bring that element to your marriage.  Continue reading

When Too Much of a Good Thing Sours a Marriage

Wedding ringsBy: Sherrie Campbell, Ph.D.

When we fall in love and meet that most amazing person for us, we feel as if we have finally come to a place where we can rest. It not easy to meet the right person to spend our lives with and the search can be long, disappointing and hard. When it finally feels right, all of that disappointment is quickly erased and it feels as if it all had a purpose once we have met the one we want to settle down with. There is not a more beautiful feeling than this. What do we do then, we when we know we have met our perfect partner and over time it seems as if what we have is almost too good and things start to sour?

1) Balance Out Too Much Time Together:  Many couples who are madly in love tend to spend all their time together, not leaving any time for family, friends or other alone-time activities. They try and do all of these activities together. This must be balanced out.

2) Get Back to Friend Time:  Every person needs more than one person in their lives to have a healthy balance. Friends and family are important sources of connection and belonging and meet totally different needs than our partner. These people make our lives whole and our identities more solid. Getting feedback and interaction from many people is a great source of self-esteem.

3) Alone Time Activities: Whether it is working out, reading, taking walks, taking baths or watching TV make sure you get enough of this. Remind yourself that you can be alone and feel completely fulfilled. It is so important to maintain activities that soothe and fulfill your soul that have nothing to do with anyone but you. This reminds you of your vale, of your special qualities and that you are happy on your own.

4) Support Your Partner’s Independence: Make sure you support your partner to go out in this world to be the biggest, brightest version that they can be. We should want our partner’s to be fulfilled in all ways and not held back by the marriage. Rather the marriage should be the supportive spring board from which all success occurs.

5) Never Do For Your Partner What They Can Do for Themselves:  The best way to help your partner grow is to encourage them to handle their own life challenges. You can support your partner emotionally but do not get too enmeshed in their issues. This creates arguments and not enough separation. Life challenges us all, be there to support and encourage but not to enable.

When each partner came into the relationship they had independent lives, activities and commitments which made them fulfilled. It happens so often when we combine with someone we lose track of how we eat, how much exercise, read, and do the things which fulfilled us before.  We become one with our partner and their desires giving up essential parts of ourselves. Soon each partner misses the person the other used to be and they miss the person they used to be. It takes discipline not to lose yourself into someone else but if you want the marriage to last long term, make sure you love yourself and your partner enough to maintain your own happiness and identity.

Little life message: The sexiest thing to be to your partner is interesting, so make sure to keep your independence.

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Dr. Sherrie Campbell is the author of Loving Yourself and is a licensed Psychologist with more than nineteen years of clinical training and experience. She provides practical tools to help people overcome obstacles to self-love and truly achieve an empowered life. Click here to get her free article on Five Ways to Make Love the Common Ground in Your Communication.   She is a featured expert on a variety of national websites and has a successful practice in Southern California. Receive free insights from Sherrie and to be involved in her Facebook community of others looking to improve their relationship. For more information visit http://www.sherriecampbellphd.com.

VOD: Stephen Colbert Marries Couple Whose Wedding Was Marred By Government Shutdown

When the government shutdown everyone was in outrage (as they should be) over the obvious programs that were closed – Meals on Wheels, Headstart – and the hundreds of thousands of government workers that were sent home with pay. As the days went on though, the less obvious consequences of the shutdown started to become apparent.

For many couples that had planned their weddings at national parks like Yosemite or the Grand Canyon they will have to postpone or make last minute (expensive) adjustments. That’s what happened to this couple, who were planning to get married this month at the Jefferson Memorial (the site of their first date, aw!) Luckily, comedian and Colbert Report host Stephen Colbert came to the rescue with the funds from Colbert Nation.

He flew out the wedding party (and a few other special guests!) and married them on the show! It was full of spoofs and laughs (check out the bride’s rather shiny bouquet). They may not have gotten the wedding they planned, but it is definitely one to remember!

What do you think of Stephen’s wedding gesture? Tell us in the comments below! And if you have a video of the day you’d like us to post let us know! 

Royal Marriage Manners

The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are visiting Southern California this week, and of course the media is covering every moment.  Upon their arrival in Los Angeles from Canada, I noticed something that I don’t think everyone did, but it could be very telling about the royal relationship. 

After William and Kate disembarked the plane, they went through a receiving line to be welcomed by Governor Jerry Brown and his wife, Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa, and other dignitaries.  Will went through the line first, followed by his bride.  They were greeted, curtseyed to and shook hands with each person graciously.  When Will was finished, he made a bee-line for the Range Rover, and got in the back seat without a glance back.  Kate completed her duties a minute or so later, and went to the back seat on the other side of the car. 

What is unusual about this?  Since the British are such sticklers for etiquette, they should be practicing it in their marriages as well as amongst commoners.  The gentlemanly thing for William to do would have been to wait for his wife to shake the last hand, and then walk over to the car with her.  Ideally, he would walk her to her side of the car and help her in before entering the car himself. 

This may be a small thing, but it shows respect and consideration.  I get that they’re both on a schedule and being shepherded around by security.  But in a marriage, there is a kind of radar that keeps you aware of where that other person is at all times.  I get that William is the Prince and probable heir to the throne.  But whatever happened to common courtesy, and “ladies first?”  If I were in Kate’s position I’d be saying to my hubby: “Hello?  Wait for me!”  Of course it’s not good form for couples, and especially royals, to correct each other in public.

While I’m on the subject, yes, it was a lovely gesture that William gave Kate his mother’s ring.  However, I do believe that Kate deserves her own ring as well.  Why have Diana’s ring be her engagement ring?  After all, even though Diana’s ring is beautiful and historic, it did originate from a marriage that is widely known as unhappy and that ended in divorce.  That’s a lot of baggage to be carrying around on your finger.  Already Kate is being compared to Diana, and this will inevitably follow her throughout her lifetime.  Kate is her own person, and this is a new relationship, so I say give her a new ring.

Kate has a lot to put up with.  Every bride has to deal with in-laws, but Kate has to do it under the scrutiny of the world.  She had her wedding in the same church where her husband’s mother had her funeral.  She’s a good sport to go along with her new family in all these decisions, and I know this will go far in keeping Will and Kate together. 

The royal couple is sure to get lots of attention wherever they go, and whatever they do.  But they need to remember that it is the attention that they give to one another that will be what makes this marriage succeed.  It is both the attention that they give to each other in private, at home, when it is just the two of them.  And it is also the attention that they give to each other in public.  I remember hearing from body language experts about the sweet glances they gave each other during the wedding ceremony, and how that was a good sign of a true loving relationship.  The world is watching!  The pressures of the position will be there, and there will be obligations and schedules and demands.  But the smallest reassuring glance, the hand on the back as a guide, and the simple act of waiting for the other person to finish before going ahead with the next task, that will make all the difference. 

This royal marriage is only a few months in, and as time goes on, these simple courtesies will mean more and more.  I would advise William to get in the habit of being a gentlemanly husband now.  A husband with good manners is a true Prince.

PHOTO (cc): Flickr / Defence Images

 

The Pre-Wedding Ritual That Needs To Go Away: Engagement Photos

Do engagement photos need to go away? You know, the very glossy-looking pre-wedding photos that usually involve the newly engaged couple doing quirky and romantic things like staring lovingly into each other’s eyes or smooching in front of some bridge, tree or other local landmark? 

This blogger on The Gloss thinks so. Her breakdown for the generic engagement photo formula is pretty dead-on and hilarious: 

Engagement photos, in case you haven’t heard of them, are a photoshoot taken shortly after a couple gets engaged. They are usually designed to show off a) the ring and b) how happy the couple is. Here’s the usual formula for how they work: 

1. Get engaged. Yay!

2. For reason I have never been able to suss out, pay a bunch of money to get a ton of pictures of you taken.

3. Pose in front of several “nature” scenes, such as “the covered bridge,” “the man-made lake,” “the trellis with flowers all over it,” and/or “the very nicely polished boulders.”

4. Choose an assortment of these poses: “looking lovingly into each other’s eyes,” “holding hands with fingers criscrossed so you can be in love and show off her rock,” and “he hugs her from behind and rests his head on her shoulder.” Bonus points if you already have a pet or child together who you can bring in to use as an accessory.

5. Some people go full throttle and do pictures of them kissing, which no one (including your grandmother, who loves every picture of you ever taken because you’re her special sweet punkin) wants to see.

Continue reading on The Gloss

Not surprisingly at all, a blog dedicated to awkward engagement photos has already reared its unflattering head for all of us to cringingly enjoy. It makes for a great cautionary tale for engaged-to-be’s.

So engagement photos: an unnecessary and expensive ritual that needs to go away? Is it just another money-sucker wedding fetish that brainwashes young men and women into thinking that they absolutely have to do? Is it totally okay if wedding couples just start skipping the whole engagement photo process because you know, there’s going to be tons of pictures of the bride and the groom looking really happy together at the main event anyway? 

I personally wouldn’t mind seeing a photo slideshow of unprofessional pictures taken on digital cameras by friends and family of the couple from different events and happenings. It just feels like a more genuine portrayal of a happy couple than a very forced embrace of two well-dressed people that so happens to occur in the middle of a very panoramic field of flowers during the magical pre-twilight hour of the day. Just sayin’.

Come to think of it, there are probably many overpriced rituals in the whole wedding process that can probably be downgraded to a more DIY and less expensive version or taken out completely all together. Are flower arrangements and napkins with specific color palettes really that necessary? Seriously, can brides not force their female friends to pay money for an expensive bridesmaid dress that isn’t flattering for them? And the whole obsession with The Perfect Expensive White Dress To Be Worn For One Day Only–a little ridiculous, yes? 

But then, engagement photos do make for some priceless memories. Especially if they look something like this: 

 

 

 

 

When “I Do” Means “I Want” – The New Rules of Registry

When we got engaged, I suspected that my husband-to-be was much more excited about registering for gifts than actually getting married. He’d been talking about registering for years—long before we even lived together. Now that it’s official, we’re a little stumped about what we actually want to put on our registry. Originally, wedding gifts were to help a young couple transition from their parents’ house to their new home, but we’ve both lived on our own for a long time, so we’ve got all the plates, silverware, and expensive cooking gadgets we need. 

Since people today marry later than in previous generations, many couples are finding themselves in the same boat. Couples like us who already have a toaster and matched luggage tend to feel guilty about requesting more “stuff.” We don’t really need a gravy boat and salad spinner, and nowadays there are more options than ever for wedding registries, so couples can ask for the things they really want. But gift-giving is a touchy subject, and these new registries come with plenty of new rules. 

Registering for Gifts 

What’s Apropos: Registering at Nontraditional Places
Wedding registries are still as popular as ever—so popular that they’re popping up in places far beyond the traditional housewares emporiums. Outdoors enthusiasts can register at REI, electronics junkies can register at Amazon, and divers can even register for SCUBA equipment. It’s possible to register for furniture, sporting goods, home improvements, computers, and even stock. Regardless of the store, a couple’s registry should always contain items at many different price points, so that guests will have no trouble finding something within their budget. 

What’s a Faux Pas: Making It Too Personal
No matter where you register, it’s important to choose items that benefit the whole couple rather than frivolous or personal things. Don’t ask for personal equipment like wetsuits or golf clubs unless every “his” is accompanied by a “hers.” When the list stops feeling like a wedding registry and starts feeling like a birthday wishlist, 
guests will feel uncomfortable. It’s a wedding, not an excuse to beg for shoes, clothing, or other personal novelties. Just because you want it doesn’t mean it’s appropriate for a wedding—most people would feel squeamish browsing a registry at Frederick’s of Hollywood and Victoria’s Secret. 

What’s Apropos: Designating a Specific Purpose for Funds
There are creative ways to ask for money without making guests feel like they’re just chipping in for wedding expenses. One of the most popular choices is a honeymoon registry. Sites like 
TheBigDay andHoneyLuna allow couples to create a Web page detailing their trip and the things they’d like to do, including shopping, spa treatments, sports, and meals. Guests contribute toward specific activities, so they feel like they’re giving the gift of an experience, like a candlelit beachside dinner for two, or one round of golf, instead of an impersonal lump of cash. If you break down large expenses (like the hotel room) into smaller, more manageable chunks, several guests can even contribute to the same expense. 

Honeymoon registry experts advise that it’s perfectly fine to register for your hotel and airfare, but don’t expect many people to contribute to them. Most people would rather chip in toward fun activities and meals, so be sure to include plenty of those. 

If you’d rather have money for a new car or a down payment on a house, consider setting up an official cash registry at a site like GoGift. Guests can donate any dollar amount they feel comfortable with, and they can pay with credit cards if they prefer. Even some banks are getting in on the registry action, offering special accounts for couples that are saving for a first home. 

What’s a Faux Pas: Asking for Cash Outright
This is rude, even if it is what you really want—some 
guests may feel like you’re charging them an admission fee for attending the wedding. If you’re dead set on asking for cash for a big purchase such as a car or house, allow the guests to deposit their gift right into an account so the process seems more official. If you ask guests to contribute to your honeymoon, spend the money on what they designate, don’t just take the money and run. Ultimately, there’s no oversight as to how you spend the money, but if your guests have paid for you to go on a snorkeling trip, don’t use that cash to pay your electric bill.  

What’s Apropos: Donating to a Charity of Your Choice
For philanthropic couples, creating a 
charity registryis a great new way to ask your guests to put their money to good use. You could allow guests to choose their favorite charity, or register with IDoFoundationor JustGive to have guests choose between a few causes that you select. The site features charities that specialize in animal abuse prevention, women’s rights, poverty alleviation, and many other causes, from small non-profits to large charities like the ASPCA and the American Cancer Society. 

What’s a Faux Pas: Offering Only One Option
When asking guests to donate to charity, it’s polite to give them a choice of where their money can go. Remember that unless you’re passionate about something universal like cancer research, the cause near and dear to your heart may not necessarily be to everyone’s taste. Controversial political causes, especially, can be touchy subjects, and guests may not want to donate to organizations that they don’t believe in. Do include your favorite among the choices, whether it’s Planned Parenthood or Students for a Free Tibet, but be sure to offer some mainstream charities like Make-a-Wish or Habitat for Humanity. 

Even with modern registries, some of the old rules still apply. It’s never okay to mention your gift registry information on the wedding invitation, and if you decide to go with a non-traditional registry option, it’s a good idea to have a second, standard registry for people who prefer to give traditional gifts. Some people, of course, will always ignore the registry and buy something unexpected. If you get three chip ‘n’ dip sets, write gracious thank-you notes and promptly engage in another time-honored wedding tradition—re-gifting.

 

Indian Wedding Invitation Card

Wedding is once in a lifetime affair and is celebrated with lots of pump and show. In India, wedding is a sacred social event in the family and symbolizes the confluence of two different families. Indian weddings are celebrated on a lavish level where all nears and dears are invited. Invitation through wedding cards is the cordial way of inviting the friends and extended families on the auspicious occasion- Marriage. It is given well in advance before the wedding Planner.

It is important that the wedding card to be attractively designed and printed as it is the first impression on the guests who are invited to share the special day. The card needs intricate detailing as it signifies the most important day of one’s life. In earlier times the cards used to be simply designed but in modern times the cards are more interestingly designed.

The most commonly used pattern in Indian wedding invitation cards are the images of Lord Ganesha, Om, Swastik and Palki etc., illustrations of young couple holding hands or the picture of entwined hearts. Few cards also bear the pictures of famous celebrities and sometimes the photographs of to-be married couple, India Wedding games.

Few cards are adorned with jewels and semi-precious stones. Different types of paper are used but now days handmade paper is in much vogue. The cost of a wedding card varies with the pattern, paper and embellishments used. The range may vary between Rs 8 per card to Rs 400 per card. The cost may be higher for the cards embellished with Jewels. Now a days event companies or event management companies also help in designing of wedding cards.

The Wedding Poem

When friends asked if I would write a poem for their wedding, I responded with an enthusiastic "Yes!" What an honor! I let the poem incubate in my mind for awhile, then woke up at 2:30 AM last week and wrote the following. The bridal couple LOVES it; and in the absence of the grooms mother at the June 20th wedding, I was also asked to step into this "temporary" role as well. Another honor! … I think you’ll like this. Feel free to share.

The Wedding Poem:

Love looks out at the world from its hiding place, waiting for days, for weeks, for what seems like a lifetime to be found.

It has hidden in the only place you haven’t looked, until now. Now, something or someone slows your step, takes your hand, and turns you aside from the dreamscape of your life. In this moment, time stands still. There is only this moment. There are only these eyes looking deeply into your own. There is only this circle of breath that surrounds you, that nourishes you.

This Other is the one who loves you. This Other is the one who has been waiting for you. This is the moment that surpasses all logic; when one plus one equals a greater ONE-ness.

This is the moment of your surrender. You are OK with whatever happens next. There is nothing else that needs to be done. There is no need to know exactly where you are, or where you are going.

This is what surrender feels like. It is a safe place. Your love makes it so. This expanding circle of breath and light that surrounds the two of you is your Universe, and it is filled to the edges of all that is, with your Love.  

Within this circle, you are at peace, peaceful, joyful, and filled with laughter at discovering how easy it is to simply BE what love looks like. You can be silly, you can be serious; you can be filled with gratitude for having been found, at last.

And in this moment of surrender, of silliness, of unknowingness, the miracle happens.

The doors to life open wide. The windows into the world of each other swing wide open. Sunlight floods in, Arms that have been searching for you embrace you. The winds rise to blow away all doubt. Storm clouds emerge and diminish, their rain nourishing the ground beneath your feet. Everything around you is growing anew.  

Love has settled in, at last, and made a home for itself in your heart.

 

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