sur·ren·der suh-ren-der
verb (used with object)
1.to yield (something) to the possession or power of another; deliver up possession of on demand or under duress: to surrender the fort to the enemy; to surrender the stolen goods to the police.
2. to give (oneself) up, as to the police.
3. to give (oneself) up to some influence, course, emotion, etc.: He surrendered himself to a life of hardship.
4.to give up, abandon, or relinquish (comfort, hope, etc.).
5. to yield or resign (an office, privilege, etc.) in favor of another.
I have been examining the word surrender lately. It has so many negative connotations. Just like many words in the English language. It’s taken on a sinister tone. Surrender – to give up, to yield. Even the definition itself finds nothing positive to say.
In spiritual circles surrender sounds so blissful and peaceful and freeing. Leave it to the new agers to take a negative word and make it positive. But my programming forces me to struggle with the idea that surrendering can be peaceful. I cannot reconcile letting go of what I believe to be right and fair with the idea that if I do it will bring me peace. With every ounce of my being I know it will not.
I like letting go. But, being me, I have to really drill down to see what it is I’m letting go of. I often advise my daughter to choose her battles. I find I’m pretty good at deciding what’s worth fighting for. It’s interesting the words I choose- Battle, fight. How can one surrender with those words being thrown around?
I’ve spent days drilling down surrender, what it means, what’s at stake, what will I give up? How can I “surrender” to bring me peace when I know it won’t? What does winning mean to me? What does it mean for those I’m fighting for who count on me to not surrender?
Yesterday, a really good friend finally cracked the egg for me. I don’t have to surrender to something that is worth fighting for. I have to surrender the fighting. I have to surrender the emotions attached to winning or loosing. I must let go of the attachment to the outcome. Ahhh. If the fight I have chosen is righteous (and who knows what that means! – another blog I guess) Then I should continue, calmly, slowly, and an eye on WHO is waging the battle and for what. Be clean with my intentions, be honest with myself, listen carefully and do not fight the fight, be present to myself and my emotions, but do not let them fight my battles. For that is where we loose.
Everyday we fight a battle for something. Often the fight is righteous. In the macro and the micro. We must stand up for ourselves; to surrender to the attachment does not mean to give up.
To me it makes a better warrior.
Betsy Chasse Co-Creator of the film “What The Bleep Do We Know?!”, Author and Radio host. To find out more, read her past blogs or podscasts of her radio show “Life Unscripted” please visit www.betsychasse.net
Check out the new book by “Bleep” film maker Betsy Chasse “Meta-Noia – A transformational Change of Heart” You can purchase it from www.betsychasse.net or the kindle version at http://www.betsychasse.net/kindle
PHOTO (cc): Flickr / Sarah G…
Doesn't surrender in the context of enlightenment mean to lose one's ego to find one's Self?The little "I" inside us all surrenders in the face of its own non existence.
I love this. Thank you for sharing…. I just blogged about the "what vs the why," and in this, I see that the "why" as the outcome, and the "what" is not fighting the fighting. I notice myself all too often more interested in the "why" vs the "what," but this laid it out for me in a whole new light. I get to be with the "what" and surrender to the why….