I got some wise words given to me the other day. But first, let me backtrack and say that if you’re like me, there’s always something that’s not done, always something to strive for, always a new goal to achieve.
I think it comes from wanting to squeeze the most out of life, and the notion of “getting there” affects me in my life with both the big things and the little things. The end result can often be a feeling of lack, of being unfulfilled – often you feel like you’re still trying to get “there” and once you’re “there” you find yourself unsatisfied.
Years ago I told a writer friend of mine that one goal I had was to write for Canada’s national newspaper, The Globe & Mail. It was one of those life-in-synchronicity things whereby he replied, “That’s funny, the editor of the Saturday Toronto section called me looking for a gay writer to do something on the meth scene in gay Toronto.”
As a gay writer addicted to meth at the time, I was perfect, my first Globe and Mail story appeared the next weekend, and I’ve been contributing for years now. After that happened I ran into my friend and thanked him. He said, “Yeah, but now that you’re in The Globe you’re going to want to write a book, you’re going to want to be in The New Yorker, you’re going to want to write a screenplay.”
And although he saw that as a negative, I saw that as a positive affect of being ambitious. But I understood what he was saying, the “getting there” never ends.
Which brings me to the wise words I got this weekend: “Adore your unfulfilled self.” Adore your unfulfilled self. Isn’t that smart? And true? I like the possibilities of that idea. I like the idea that you CAN’T stop preferring or observing or wanting, because it’s the variety that inspires the new preference which inspires the new desire.
And that’s when I realized the truth behind an idea we hear often: That we are all eternal. We’re not supposed to be complete, we’re not supposed to be done, we’re not supposed to “get there.” Being unfulfilled is good.
From H*I*M*B*O*! – www.shaunproulx.ca/himbo/
Thanks for your honest and weirdly inspiring post! I like the idea of being happy with the prospect of the quest alone – I mean, who wants to just sit around being satisfied? I believe Joseph Campbell warned that once we commit to "following our bliss" it might take us to unexpected places. But also, opening one door leads to opening another, and so on. Thanks for a little glimpse of eternity!
Glad my honest weirdness inspired, Valerie! I don't believe we're ever done, I believe we're constantly expanding – incompleteness is the whole point.
x Shaun