As many of you have read, Dorothy Rabinowicz from the Wall Street Journal wrote an opinion piece on my father’s (Deepak Chopra) comments on CNN after the Mumbai bombings. As I told a friend this morning, one thing about my family is that we don’t sit back quietly (my brother has posted blogs here and here, and my father has responded to the Wall Street Journal, and done an interview with Michelle Haimoff at the Huffington Post, as well). We are hopeful that we can respond to her attacks in a manner that will create a larger discussion on the real issues that led to these horrific and very sad events.
First, I would like to address Rabinowicz personal attacks on my father and his credentials through statements such as “No one can fail to grasp the wisdom of a man who has informed us that ‘If you have happy thoughts, then you make happy molecules’."
And, subsequent comments by people like Elizabeth Hasselbeck, who apparently referred to my father as “Glitter glasses Whatshisface” and mumbled “Go light a bowl of incense” on The View (national television). Such remarks do not help the conversation, rather they take me back to my days as a teenager when people referred to my father as a “snake oil doctor”. Such racist and ignorant remarks feed an ignorance that is in many ways the root cause of this larger situation.
What happened in Mumbai, Ms. Rabinowicz, is very personal. My father was born in the carnage of the Pakistan India split, and we lost several family members to murder - family members and friends who were Hindu and Muslim. We grew up hearing stories – that went back many generations – about this period in our family history and trying to understand why such madness occurs. Ms. Rabinowicz directly refers to my father as ever the conciliator, and yes, we grew up in a family where there was always room for forgiveness and conciliation. I am proud of my family – and an extended community – that approaches personal, social and global issues in this manner. My hope is that as a global community we can address the deeper issues that have fostered terrorism in the first place.
I wanted to share an essay – which I wrote years ago – to give a sense of the deeper stories that paint the situation we are facing in South Asia.
Sarson Ka Saaj
"Bhabhiji, why do you always set aside a portion of food at dinner?" It was a tradition she had always kept.
She stared beyond the slowly spinning fan above, her voice barely audible at first as she reeled in images from another world. A frail figure: lost in a sheer white sari, she sat on a hard bed, several pillows supporting her worn body. A stagnant room, white plastered walls, incense teasing a tattered picture of her husband, rudraksha beads wrapped around her fingers. Shooting fleeting glances in our direction just long enough to make sure we understood the words she wanted us to hear, Bhabhiji (our grandmother and great-grandmother) told us a story that has been passed down through our family for generations.
"He must have been six, seven years old at the time. They said he had the clearest of faces- innocent and joyful. The kind of clearness that a sage remembers when he attains enlightenment. Deep, dark eyes- eyes of shimmering black that twinkled like lone stars brightening up an infinite universe.
"Seven generations ago, there was a war in northwest India. Massive killings, bloody tortures, innocent victims. Turbulent and violent times that are common throughout history- one group of people being persecuted by another because of their religion. Our family had seen loved ones dragged from their homes and beaten alive- savage realities that are too horrible to imagine.
"They, too, were in danger. And so, in an effort to save their children, they decided to leave their home and flee deeper into India where such persecution did not exist. A perilous journey- if they were caught they would undoubtedly be killed. They left with neither money nor possessions- only their seven sons and a desire to survive.
"It was a rainy night, full of thunder, crying winds and wandering spirits. They left their home, perhaps on foot, perhaps in a cart. They walked for hours. They heard from other refugees that it was a risky night- others had been discovered and killed for trying to escape.
"Eventually they came to a river. To continue, they had to find some way to cross it. They found a boatman, an older man, pale and somber, with an empty and desolate expression. He had a good-sized boat that could take them across the river.
"The boatman eyed this family that approached him to save their lives. He saw a family with seven sons- a family committed to one another. He saw the fear in their eyes, but more clearly he felt the love that emanated from their souls. He envied the emotion they had for each other. He had had a wife and a child, but both were dead now. He was all alone in this world- a soul wilting away, hungry for companionship. An unbearable loneliness was slowly killing him.
"This desperate family could not understand the boatman’s desperation. They begged him to take them across the river. They had no money and could think of no way to repay him. The old man eyed the children. In an attempt to save himself, he asked for one of the sons as payment.
"At first they were horrified. To give away a son was to lose a part of themselves. War, however, brings new insights to people. Our family could see the pain and suffering in the old eyes of the man. They feared for their own lives because they had so much to live for, but a more insidious and calculating death preyed upon this man- he had nothing to hope for, nothing to live for. In a moment of desperation, compassion and salvation, they agreed to give their youngest son to this man. To save the lives of their children and to save his life as well."
And so the story has been told for seven generations, and our family began a tradition that Bhabhiji continued to follow throughout her lifetime. During every meal, one plate of food was set aside for the little boy who was left behind. During every meal, he was remembered and honored. At six years old, the little boy’s favorite dish was Sarson Ka Saag, a traditional north Indian dish of spinach usually prepared in winter. In memory of a little boy who saved the life of his family and a lonely old man, Sarson Ka Saag has become a special dish in our family tradition.
Paul wrote in his testament that some were preaching about Christ because of their LOve and others out of contention hoping to add to his bonds of imprisonment,but whether of LOve or contention he was glad that the message of Christ was being spread,my heart aches for the attacks against your father but he has asked for many people to take his vow of peace and perhaps this though seemingly harmful attack will work towards the greater good of spreading the message of hope your father teaches,I know it comes with great pain and sacrifice but sometimes great accomplishments come with a great price,my prayers of Peace and LOve are with you and your family,thank you for the stand you take.
Thank you, Mallika for your posting.
Thank you for creating the web site and the opportunity to share our stories, feeling and thoughts.
Great loss and pain can lead to great healing, unity and understanding.
I first encountered your father on while participating in a Panchakarma retreat in 1990 in Lancaster, Mass. It was a genuine healing experience for me. I was so grateful and inspired that I hosted
a public relations party for him and his book, Quantum Healing in
my home.
I was very happy to see the Chopra Center open where I live in NYC.
As I became a client there I met Tara, the Ayervedic doctor who works at the center. She re-introduced me to you Dad and he was
truly gracious and kind to me and and very generous with him time.
I was so happy to see that all the recognition he received over the years did not expand his ego – but instead his heart, creativity and
mind.
I feel perhaps the people who attack and criticize your father really do not know him, his work or his personal story.
If they are listening – I suggest they book at least one Abyanga
massage. Perhaps they will feel better and become inspired to
learn from his work.
Again, thank you for taking the time for enlightening us all.
All my best to you,
Elaine
I know there are alot of the global population that is quick to comment without true knowledge of all the peices of the whole puzzel called life. I grew up being told stories of how most of my family in Poland during WWII were sent to the camps, mostly for helping hide jewish friends. Then going to a high school that was mostly jewish and talking about the holicost and how so many jewish people had died , when I stood up and stated that I always had a deep sorrow for the holicost, I had to point out that not just the jews were sent to the camps, it didn't go over very well and I got alot of nasty comments said to me . And when I pointed out that I was Buddhist, well lets just say that it was even nastier. I told myself that the people who are saying and acting the way they did was just their own ignorance of the whole picture. I can't say it didn't hurt but I knew that all I could do, other than try to educate some that would listen, forgive them for they know not what they do. As for the mumbi attacks , I send my love and energy to you and the victems of these horrible attacks. I am kind of joked about in my family for refering to your father as "Uncle Deepak". I don't know why I do that it just feels right, Please take no offence. I am also so into Bollywood, I know more actors from Bollywood than I know anything about Hollywood. Just keep faith, the human race is going through trials and tribulations, and I have complete faith that god has a plan to fix the world and we are defenitly part of that plan , I just don't know how yet.
with all my love and support,
gina
Dear Mallika,
When people have to resort to personal insults, they have already lost the argument and their credibility and integrity. The only person they define by doing this, is themselves.
Sadly, all sorts of ignorance exists, racism being one of the most ignorant and insidious in the world today.
The story you shared about Bhabhiji is very touching.
Thanks,
Noreen.
Dearest Marika
The world will easily be humbled. That people, such as your family and such as Thich Nhat Han who comes to mind now too: who have experienced first hand such maddness and horrors can stand up and say: "Peace is every step"or such a thing like:
My heart echoes the words of Ricky Thurman. All of us here in South Africa, send our love and warmth to Deepak and the whole Chopra family. Thank you, Mallika, for this excellent article which to me highlights the power of love, peace, understanding and forgiveness. With love, Bobby
1) It seems that all public figures will receive public criticism at some point. As Wayne Dyer says in one of his books, if you please 50% of the people, you are well ahead of the curve. Famous people, in reaching more people, are also subject to that much more criticism.
2) All intelligent people who read/observe enough media know that there is no objective journalism. People, by their very nature, infuse their own opinions into everthing they write or say, whether it be by words they choose, words they leave out, or directly voicing their position. Even the most trivial of interview of the "person on the street" results in the interviewed person exclaiming that what was published was not exactly what they had said. So, distortion happens during the recording of the message.
2a) Distortion happens also in the receiving of the message, by each person reading or hearing or seeing the interview. Their previous opinions will color all message they will hear. If I
GOOD AFTERNOON Mallika!!!
All Virtuous, Compassionate, Loving and Peaceful people all over the world are Citizens, Family and Friends of India, the victims and the evil-doers associated with this horrific tragedy. PRAYERS, LOVE, BLESSINGS AND PEACE!!!
Mallika,
I saw the interviews with Deepak on CNN and Fox and I thought he handled himself very well, and brought the truth to the surface. Fox was targeting Deepak and doing their best to discredit him, in my eyes and so has Rabinowicz in her writings.
A great indian sage once said "Love wins all Battles." Now is the time to have a dialogue about the truth going on behind the scenes. We need to let them know that we are not going to settle for anything less than 100% PEACE! So I am right behind you and your family and what you and this community is standing for.
Your family story was very touching. We have all been touched by violence in our family. My Grandfather (raised in England) was working for the Military Intelligence in the Allied Forces in World War 2. One of his assignments required him to learn Arabic which he did and spoke fluently. He lived in the deserts with the Bedouins mapping out the water holes and taking intelligence so that the Allied Forces could take on Rommel in the desert.
He was given a knife by one Bedouin who considered him a blood brother, and this beautiful knife in its engraved and jewelled scabbard hung over a door in his home in New Zealand, to where he later immigrated in 1957. This knife to me is a symbol of collaboration, Love and brotherhood in difficult times. That different cultures and religions can unite together and with respect help each other.
This is what is needed now in the world, this is the opportunity that lies waiting India and Pakistan; Christians and Muslims and Democrats and Republicans.
Together we stand untied and can achieve whatever we intend and decide to dream into Being!
In Love,
/Tim
Interesting story…
This is a beautiful piece. : )
Dear Mallika,
True, what Noreen said, those who insult only define themselves. Sad, how in the public, such comments are focused on, not to mention the money lost bringing "highlight" to such small minded insults or slander. It could be given instead to charity.
Such matters also bring to mind how the sharing of light often reflects the shadow. Sadly, the uncomfortable part of a public life, especially if one treads on uncomfortable truths.
Your father's great heart and compassionate work and giving to the world outshines all such small incidents.
Thank you for sharing your beautiful writing, the story of Bhabhiji is so moving. Blessings and cheer, Rebekah
Thanks so much for sharing, it is such a precious memory to have and to hold on to. I'm not sure why but for some reason I drew a correlation with the story of Joseph and Mary and how they fled Jerusalem in fear of death, giving birth to Jesus in a stable when there was no room in the Inn, I'm not sure why this came to me at this moment.
Hugs, Lily
Hi Mallika,
Regarding your post today on Intent regarding the criticism received by your Father….I have been contemplating the "noise" surrounding what he has articulated, some of which I have heard or read. While I am always amazed by the expanse of his knowledge and wisdom, there are times when such wisdom sparks a backlash.
It just occurred to me that dissonance is inevitable for a seer in times of turmoil. Because those who lash out are transfixed by the status quo, unable or unwilling to SEE, and even unaware of the fear that keeps them from contemplating opinions with which they are not comfortable…..they cannot embrace the change that is both necessary and inevitable. I have no doubt that in time, your Father's words will be recognized for the truth that they exclaim by those whose understanding and acceptance of change evolves.
I am grateful to know you and honored to read your expression of honor for your Father and for your family legacy.
With love, admiration and applause,
Nancy
Dear Mallika –
With heart and family roots in India, your grief, and that of your father, over this senseless slaughter in Mumbai had to take voice. Yours were voices of compassion. Clearly, this woman couldn't even hear, much less understand, the message your father brought.
Now your pain is compounded with her attempt to ridicule him on the world stage. I'm sure it hurts a great deal. Her need to assault your father's message and his reputation are as incomprehensible to me as the acts of the terrorists. Like them, I can only assume she lashed out from a place of pain and fear — every bit as illogically. What did any of them hope to gain?
My heart is with you, with your father, with the people throughout the world who have been so deeply hurt by this tragedy and with all whose hearts ache this day.
Yours is the message that counts. Keep speaking. You are salve to heal any cut anyone could inflict on your father. I'm sure he loves you very deeply and appreciates having you and Gotham at his side.
Albert Einstein reportedly said: "Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds." I would offer one amendment to have it read: Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from fearful, blinded minds.
You are light.
Hello Mallika
I have found only peace and healing from your father's writing. I helped organise his lecture in Perth in the 199's and recently attended his lecture in Perth concert hall where he unpacked many of Jesus' parables in ways that I feel more people should understand.
I can understand why you would feel upset at people ridiculing him for his views. But as it says in the Bible Luke 6 v 20 -26 "Blessed are you when men hate you, when they exclude you and insult you and reject your name as evil, because of the Son of Man." Rejoice in that day.
Marcia Hewitt
Dear Mallika,
The recent Mumbai incidents have also been a personal tragedy to me. It has also been tragic to see how it has effected so many people here at intent and around the world.
That a place that I have been welcomed has become a place of death is devastating.
In India I built a bamboo hut in a bamboo grove and enjoyed the seasons including monsoon. Having rice and dhal with papaji. So many people from different backgrounds welcoming me and telling me of wonderful places to go and people to meet.
I am grateful that so many people are coming together here at Intent, so many healing arts projects, so many people being the change. I am looking forward to seeing every ones project succeed
Dear Mallika
As someone with roots in Mumbai, I felt as anguished as any of the other Mumbaites. Yet, as an Indian, I feel truly proud of Deepak & his courage. And as a human being, I feel truly connected to this great man.
Not too many people have the wisdom or the courage or the compassion to call for 'root cause analysis' of the problems we are facing- your father is one of them. Someone who has inspired millions with his books & wisdom has more lasting power over people than myopic journalists or narrow minded heads of state.
Dr Chopra is a great soul of our ages, & needs to continue to focus on the missions at hand. There have been critics of all great men- let him just ignore them & continue to inspire & heal the world.
love
Malik