I went to visit a friend who has a parking problem outside her home, she lives next door to a pub and the parking has designated white lines drawn on the road so only the home owners can park there. Since I was only stopping to pick her up I dared to park on a white line. A giant of a man came staggering up the road towards me, 9.30 in the morning, inebbriated. You can’t park there. he said. I held my breath against the fumes and looked in his eyes, so young to be so drunk, so early. I wondered what had happened to him. I told him I am just loading so it is okay since I am not parking. He started rambling aimlessly about how he had been sent home from work because he is too drunk to work and he is only 21. I told him he may not care now but in 20 years time when he has liver damage he will wish he hadn’t drunk so much. He said he has already got liver damage He said his parents have told him he is an alcoholic but he doesn’t care. I told him he will know when he is making himself really ill because the whites of his eyes will go yellow. I said he is very young to be hooked on drink. He said he doesn’t care. I said maybe he needs to think about why he drinks? He didn’t know. At this point his mum pulled up in her worse for wear sports car and bundled him into it. Its all good fun isn’t it? he said as he turned and ambled towards the car. Nice to meet you he said. I told him it was nice to meet him too.
How can a five minute conversation have any impact on the life of a 21 year old intent of drinking themselves to death? I don’t know if it can, but at the time I was aware that I may have been able to make a difference depending on what I said.
Words count. They make a difference, sometimes more of a difference than others. I am reminded to be awake and alert for opportunities to help when faced with a stranger no matter how frightening and out of control they may appear at first.
Love and light to you all
Tamasin
Dearest Tamasin,
Atleast you tried, most of people wont even bother. He is too young to understand the gravity of your words, but we can pray that he does, or hope that someone puts that common sense in him.
Wish you love, peace and happiness.
Trisha
It is so complex, Tamasin and there is no time for rehearsals, other than in general terms between such meetings, and on reflection.
Each person is so uniquely different and empathy seems the most important gift…..to really care and be brave enough to show it and feel one's way into the individual's inner turmoil. One must chance a black eye!
It's a noble art to be so deft to balance firmness with unconditional caring on that deeper emtional level rather than with words that may register nil.
So I find I have to try and stand in the other person's shoes with empathy, stimulate my compassion, and really, really transmit that unspoken caring. Empathy may also mean I see that part of myself that languishes and now personifies in the suffering of another.
Every little helps, both 'thee' and me, for I believe that is why we somehow meet.
ed
Tamasin the time has come to make some comments about alcohol. I satrted working at thirteen years of age. At a liquor store and also a change currency business and car insurance. All in one place just across the border from the USA. I experienced on a daily basis encounters with drunk people , MEXICAN AND AMERICAN. The apparently good news is that half of them were middle aged people and the rest seniors. To make the story short all this life I've been a teetoler, but this didn't avoid to have a son who is an alcoholic. When he got married he was just a social drinker, but less than a year of being married he became an alcoholic. He got divorced and due to my ife's insistance he came to live with us, so for ten long years we suffered seing him three months sober and nine months drunk. We tried everything and everything failed. so when I suffered my brain stroke four years ago immediatly he matrried a single mother with two children.Since then he hasn't stoped working and has become a vdry loving father not only of his own daughter, but for the two children who now he sees as his own. What is the morals of this? That we have to learn to respect and accept the spiritual evolution of our love ones. Everybody has to learn to face challenges and not to fall down, but to remain standing up fighting with our own demons, Some people don't succeed, but many do. I know that the law of love is greater than the law of karma.
Thank you for listening Tamasin. Ah! I forgot. What I have done all my life dealing with these troubled human beings is to send then , face to face, mentally words of cosmic power not to their outer selves, but to their inner selves,. sometimes they work, and sometimes they don't. I am o.k feeling that I've done the best I can.There is still a lot to be commented in a kind of dialog Tamasin.
Ezequiel. Happily immersed in the Cosmic's Life Energy.
Hi Tamasin,
How thoughtful and compassionate…that you had the presence of mind and the tenderness of heart to want and try to make a difference in this young mans life makes you a gift to all you meet.
I too believe we meet for a reason and that every act of compassion imprints itself within us even if we don't realize it at the time.
No demonstration of love is ever wasted.
Blessing to you kind Soul
Natalie
oh Cosmic Cat, my heart went out to you reading your post. I loved the part about 'what stupid advice is that', did make me laugh, what can I do for you? how simple, kind and loving concern. Sometimes that is all it takes. Well done for being brave enough to know there may be someone who knows better than you. Sometimes I think it helps to get a different perspective on the situation as well.
It was just a sad sight to see, a 6ft, physically youthful, mentally adept, trusting young man be at the mercy of the bottle (apparently).
thank you Natalie, yes I think that is what I was trying to do, impart an act of love by showing compassion and understanding in the hope that the young man may take a minute to consider his actions. I will be visiting my friend regularly during the next four weeks while she organises a move and since the pub is next door to where she lives I will keep my eyes open for him.
Dear Ezequiel, how painful to watch a child evaporate into the world of liquid spirit. your brain stroke had a silver lining in the grand scheme of things. Ten years is a long time to be in powerless pain. It must have been hard for both you and your wife. You are right that it a person has to develop their own sense of self on their own, but sometimes people need prodding.
thank you Ed, yes it is complex, but as a healer and being aware of my energy centres I also feel that by being in close physical proximity, his body may have naturally gathered strength and even a tiny energy boost from standing close to me. I am not sure empathy registers on the mind of one who is only partly there. The idea that I could empathise with him, which admittedly I struggled with, would help him? I don't know. Being able to communicate friendliness, understanding, non-judgement and compassion I think did help though.
thanks Trisha, I wonder if prayers work on people who don't ask for them?
Re; thanks Trisha, I wonder if prayers work on people who don't ask for them?
IMHO: In these situations I think at first, prayer helps us, comforts us, more than it helps the people we are praying for, but I also believe prayer (desire) brings about certain subtle changes in us that we may not even be fully aware of, and in turn, these changes in us bring about changes in the people we are praying for, changes in our awareness and perception of each other that eventually, dynamically, allow the real change, the healing, to occur.
Dear Tamasin, if we wish for that person what God wishes for them, they do (in my opinion)
Dearest Tamasin,
I believe in what Noreen says, i recently have seen an example.
Noreen you know, that guy charlz, i think you remember him,
he is not in touch with me any more but he is writing very decent poems with extremely artistic but decent illustrations. so may be our prayers for his soul worked.
Wish you love, peace and happiness.
Trisha
You're so sweet Trisha, you extend kindness to everyone
thank you Noreen, that would mean that Gods wishes would over-ride the free will that led to the self-destructive behaviour. I wonder. Maybe it could be possible to improve someones state with prayer where they have little or no self-awareness, like a vulnerable alcoholic, but someone who is in a very low dejected state in a a depressed hole, I am not so sure. I think they have to want help.
thank you Cosmic Cat, yes I can see how that would work.
Dearest Tamasin,
I really believe from heart that if you pray for someone from heart then God acts, its a pleasant surprise for me that Charlz bounced back from where he was, even though he did not let us help him any way directly. That brought my faith back on your healing powers because atleast half a dozen of you said that you will be praying for him.
Wish you love, peace and happiness.
Trisha
My dearest Noreen,
I would have been one happy person if i was half sweet and kind as you are.
I think it was our united prayer that must have drawn god's attention to him.
hope he stays this way like a good boy.
Wish you love, peace and happiness.
Trisha
that is lovely Trisha, but at some level he must have wanted to be better.
I also do believe that healers instinctively know who will be receptive to the power of healing prayer. That is why sometimes on intent a person asking for help will have 20 or so people praying for them and other people only attract half a dozen. Maybe it isn't quantity that is important, maybe it is that different types of healing is needed.
sending love and light around the world
Tamasin
Dear Tamasin, I don't agree. What I mean is when we wish for love (which I believe God wishes for us) for that person, we reach them in ways and means we don't understand yet, how else can you explain distance healing, surrogate tapping etc.? Does everyone ask for that healing? No. Are they healed? Not always, but quite often they are. Is that interfering with their free will? I don't believe so. It's not about interfering with someone's free will, which is the opposite of love, it's about the intention we hold for that person and what it is in tune with. That can create major shifts from my experience.
Dearest Tamasin,
i think in case of healing a person's willingness may not count, because here God is doing the thing, She creates the change in that person. She brings out the desire in that person to become a better human being. I very strongly believe in that.
Just think, why do i feel i am feeling your positive, loving aura or noreen's calm, loving presence whenever i look at your pix? i dont feel like that with every pic in my p.c. i feel like
something positive is coming out from you guys and entering me.
Wish you love, peace and happiness.
Trisha
Hi Noreen, distance healing works when the person knows they are being sent healing and they are receptive to it. I am going to conduct a little experiment of my own and send healing to someone I know who doesn't know I am sending it and see if there are any results. I am in no doubt that distance healing works, nor that we cannot understand the hows, whys and wherefores, I am just wondering about the connection between the healing the person receives and their state of awareness about the healing.
thank you Trisha
I know what you mean Tamasin, but I've also had the experience of people not knowing they have been sent healing energy and it still works
Don't ask me why, but I think it is to do with having an intent for that person's highest good (which is in alignment with love/God), otherwise it would not work, so to speak. I agree with Trisha that in some way this activates a desire in that person for health/well being. You wanting to help that man is an example of that and you don't know how that may have touched him 
Dearest Noreen,
I completely agree with your views. completely and absolutely.
Wish you love, peace and happiness.
Trisha
thank you Noreen, yes I think I understand, it is something in me that will resonate with something in them that may trigger their desire to be well. thank you for clarifying.
I have an alcoholic friend also who has lost her husband, her home, her four children and her family have all deserted her because of her drinking. I am going to pray for her to recover herself and see what happens.
Dearest Tamasin,
I have full belief that it will work.
Wish you love, peace and happiness.
Trisha
I will too Tamasin
Dearest Tamasin,
I will too, can you tell her name, or give her a name so we can think of something while praying for her.
Wish you love, peace and happiness.
Trisha
Yes, her name is Sharon, she is 43 and lives in Essex in England, her four beautiful little girls are aged 21, 16, 13 and 10, she is a true Sagittarian and before she took up drinking she used to enjoy riding horses and working in a stable. Thoughts of getting her to exercise and out in the stables again would be a good picture.
Dearest Tamasin,
She will be in my prayers from tonight onward. I will pray for her with all my heart. Bringing her out of her shell and making her spend more time with the horses will be a great idea, i also think so. With you beside her she will be able to recover very soon. I have complete full faith about it, just stay by her, and let her lean on your shoulder.
You have the power inside you. One look at your face can tell anyone. My prayers are completely with you and sharon.
Wish you love, peace and happiness.
Trisha
Quite a Thread We Have Here Tamasin,
"In everything give thanks." Proverbs. This is every bit as powerful as how can I help? First give thanks for our other and their suffering, which will suggest an alternative. Then encourage our other to give thanks as well – by whatever means possible. Add righteous and intentful prayer and tell the sufferer you are praying for them. From that point on every good thing that happens to the sufferer will be noted and related to your acts of compassion. They will desire to be more like you.
Blessings X 10,
Ed
thanks Trisha
thanks Ed, if I tell Sharon I am praying for her I am not sure she will relate any good things that happen directly to my efforts. I am going to do the praying without telling her and see what happens
well,, I visited my friend Sharon and she is doing really well, she is cutting down on her drinking and she is working in a charity shop. I wasn't going to tell her I am praying for her but I felt I had to, so I did. Sharon now knows she is in my prayers.
Dearest Tamasin,
Its a great news, she is moving in exactly the correct direction. when you are pain help others who are in pain, your pain will automatically reduce.
Wish you love, peace and happiness.
Trisha
That's great Tamasin.
thank you Trisha, she appears to be enjoying herself as well as keeping herself busy, tragic news though, the nan of her children took her own life by hanging herself in January of this year. My prayers are also with Sharon's children who have now also lost their grandmother on their dads side. Tragic.
Dearest Tamasin,
misery never comes alone, thats really bad for the children, lets just pray that Sharon gathers herself soon and goes back to where she belongs, then everything else will fall in place.
I have been thinking about her and praying for her.
You are an angel to hold her hand at this time, when everyone has deserted her, my prayers are for both of you. May God keep you two under her loving shadow forever.
Wish you love, peace and happiness.
Trisha
thank you Trisha, I think too much damage has been done with the relationships between her and her daughters. I am trying to be on her side but it is difficult when EVERYONE else is being there for the children, which is of course right, and their father. That is the toughest thing with their dad now being grief stricken, prayers for him also. Prayers for the whole family.
Dear Tamasin,
You did the brave and right thing which may register with this young man because you showed him that you, a complete stranger, cared about him. Advice given to me, when faced by situations like this, by a wise person, our parish priest was: "Ask this person 'How can I help you? What can I do for you?'"
Peace & Love
Ms Cosmiccat
edited by Ms. CC for privacy reasons on 5/25/09
just an update, seriously, the prayers worked. My friend has now stopped drinking white wine, beer and spirits and takes pride in just having red wine in moderation! this may not sound much but for her it is a major miracle. Thank you for all your prayers.
Hi Tamasin! bless you for connecting with that young man. Connection with another human can save a life.
Alcohol can be very hard to lick, for some.
Myself, it has always felt connected to a sugar imbalance( alcohol being basically made with that), and very often you will find diabetes in the same family that has alcoholism.
There was alcoholism and diabetes in my family of origin, and so I have watched out for this, but not had problem with it. There are some members of my family who are not alcoholic, but addicted to sweets.
This is just based on a gut intuition I have, not a doctor.
Mostly I have seen that alcoholics don't change until something really bad happens to them, where they come up against their mortality. For one young man, it was waking up from being passed out, on a railroad track, after which he poured himself into his art and turned his life around. Until that point, nothing anyone said had seemed to affect him.
Sometimes "a family intervention/sanitorium/retreat" can make a difference, by providing respite from the troubles for awhile.
There is also a very good discussion on "addiction" /Yumi's post, where people are discussing solutions to addiction, of all kinds.
Anyway, good luck with all that, and hope that everyone gets just what they need. In the end, everyone seems to have the life lessons they need to evolve as a human, no matter what the situation. But it is natural and good to care, and reach out. Thanks so for doing that Tamasin, be well all, love Jas