I’m so disappointed in myself today. I try to count my blessings and have gratitude in everything but feel very down today, making it hard to be positive. I really messed up with a friend and the worst thing is I’ve done it over and over. I can’t seem to learn from my mistakes. I feel the only solution is to hand it to God and to just withdraw. There doesn’t seem to be a way out of this pattern unless God sets me free. I want this post to be positive and to say "I intend to have stable, balanced relationships with both old and new friends, male and female." That is what I will try to focus on today, pushing the negative self beatings away….this time I will learn from my mistake. I am paying a high price for this lesson, which I could have learned so much easier if I had just allowed myself to learn it when making the mistake before. I know I get to practice, that I am human and make mistakes, but I feel like I’ve pushed friends that means anything to me so far away. Some have moved on into different phases of their lives and I just don’t fit into the picture anymore. I’m not sure how to adjust to that but I’m working on it. I really love this person I have pushed away by becoming angry with him over something so ridiculus. It was my own insecurities that brought down the house of cards. My heart aches.
I intend to have balanced, ,fun and stable relationships.
I intend to do my best to make amends and then allow the person to choose for themself if he wants to remain my friend.
I intend to accept the mistakes I’ve made and move forward by learning not to make the same mistake again.
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